17 Church Row

by James Carol

  It was actually Bella’s second favourite meal. Her favourite was pizza, and she was expecting that for dinner. Nikki made a face. ‘We’re actually having pizza tonight. Alice has already placed our order with Papa John’s.’

  ‘I guess I can make it tomorrow instead. It tastes better when the ingredients are fresh though. Can’t your computer just cancel the order?’

  ‘She could, but we promised Bella. Anyway, what do you say we grab a coffee before you get started?’ Nikki suggested, quickly changing the subject.

  Sofia responded with the first real smile Nikki had seen since she got here. ‘It’s like you read my mind, mi cariño.’

  ‘Or maybe I’ve just known you too long,’ Nikki replied, returning the smile as she led the way through the reception area.

  ‘Anyway,’ Nikki said. ‘Why are you walking? I told you to get a taxi.’

  Sofia made a face and waved the suggestion away. ‘I’m fine taking the tube. And your house isn’t that far from the station.’

  ‘It’s got to be at least a fifteen-minute walk. How much longer did it take you to get here? And I want the truth.’

  A shrug. ‘I don’t know. Twenty minutes, maybe.’

  ‘Which means that it was probably closer to thirty, which is an extra hour a day. I’m going to add that to your pay.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that.’

  ‘If you’re not going to take a taxi, then yes, I do. You know, it would be no trouble to arrange for one to pick you up from your flat every morning. No trouble whatsoever.’

  Sofia threw her free hand up in surrender. ‘You win. I’ll take a taxi tomorrow.

  Nikki smiled. ‘See, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?’

  ‘Did Bella get to school okay?

  The question made Nikki think about the dead Koi carp. The way they’d been floating on the surface of the pond had been like something from a horror film. ‘I’m keeping her off today.’

  Sofia stopped walking, She wasn’t smiling anymore. She waited for Nikki to stop and look at her. ‘What’s happened? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. I know you too well to believe that.’

  Nikki sighed. ‘Her fish died.’

  ‘Oh, the poor baby. She must be devastated.’

  ‘She is. I’m going to take her out later. Hopefully that will help get her mind off what happened.’

  ‘Where is she now?’

  ‘She’s down in the cinema room.’

  ‘I need to go see her.’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea. She said she wanted to be on her own.’

  ‘In that case I’ll see her later then.’

  They started walking again, momentarily lost in their thoughts. The silence was a companionable one. It was Alice who broke it.

  ‘How do you take your coffee, Sofia?’ she asked as they walked into the kitchen.

  ‘It’s okay. I can make it.’

  ‘I’ve already made one for Nikki. It would be no trouble to make one for you too. Would you like milk and sugar?’

  Sofia hesitated then said, ‘White with two sugars.’

  Nikki was watching her carefully, trying to work out how she had taken this. It was difficult to tell. She wasn’t smiling. Then again, she wasn’t frowning either. The fridge door opened as Sofia walked towards it, and now she was frowning. She didn’t say anything, just pointedly put her shopping away. She would get used to the house in time. She had to. It wasn’t as if they could just go back to the Bedford Street house. Nikki went over to the coffee machine and picked up their mugs. She took a sip of hers. It was perfect. Just the right amount of sugar, the right temperature, the right amount of bean. She walked over to the work island, put the mugs down and took a seat. Sofia finished putting the shopping away then came over to join her. She removed her coat, placed it neatly on one of the spare stools, then sat down next to her and slid her mug closer.

  ‘It’s a beautiful house,’ she said.

  ‘It is,’ Nikki agreed.

  ‘But it’s not like the old one.’

  ‘No, it’s not.’

  Sofia was looking around the kitchen, her sharp eyes taking everything in. She hadn’t been talking about the cosmetic differences, she was talking about the fact that Grace wasn’t here. Sofia believed in ghosts and spirits. She claimed to have been born with a caul over her face. Some people believed that this gave you psychic abilities but Nikki wasn’t one of them. Sofia was perceptive and she was good at reading people, but she didn’t have a sixth sense. There was no such thing.

  ‘It’s for the best,’ Sofia said. ‘You can stay trapped in the past too long. Eventually you have to let go.’

  Only now she wasn’t talking about Grace or the old house, she was talking about her husband. This was why they had grown so close after the accident. Sofia understood because she had lived through it too. She knew what it meant to lose the other part of your soul.

  Sofia picked up her mug and took a sip. She was looking at the wall screen. Alice had accessed the camera in the cinema room so that Nikki could keep an eye on Bella. At the moment she was sitting in one of the big comfy chairs with a large box of popcorn, watching The Incredibles for what must have been the millionth time, blissfully unaware that she was being watched. This was another thing that Catriona Fisher had got right with this house. All the cameras were discrete. You could find them, but only if you looked really hard. Being able to check on Bella without her knowing was a godsend. Nikki knew that she could be a bit overprotective at times – and she was also aware that this wasn’t healthy for either of them – so it was good to give Bella some independence, even if it was just an illusion.

  ‘Is Bella settling in okay?’ Sofia asked.

  ‘Yes and no. She likes her new room, and Ethan took her swimming yesterday evening, which she loved. And as you can see, the cinema room is a big hit too. On the downside, she’s not sleeping too well, but I’m sure that will sort itself out. Discovering that her fish had died upset her, too.’

  ‘It’s a shame about that. She was so excited about getting them. Do you know why they died?’

  Nikki nodded. ‘I suspect that she was overfeeding them. We had to talk to her about that over the weekend.’

  ‘I hope this doesn’t set her back.’

  ‘I don’t think it will. She didn’t really have time to get attached to them.’

  ‘Have you thought any more about calling Dr Santos?’ Sofia asked.

  It took Nikki a moment to place the name. Dr Santos was the child psychiatrist Sofia had told her about. ‘Thanks for reminding me. I’ve been so preoccupied with the move I’d completely forgotten about that. I’ll call her later.’

  Sofia smiled sadly. ‘You know, there are times where I look at Bella drawing or watching TV and I forget that she can’t talk. She looks just like any other little girl.’

  Nikki didn’t have that problem. Every time she looked at Bella she would remember how she used to light up their world with her words. It was hard to believe that there had been a time when Bella and Grace would drive her nuts with their constant chattering. These days Nikki would have given anything to have them both here, talking away ten to the dozen, even if she couldn’t understand a word they were saying.

  Sofia reached out and took Nikki’s hand. ‘Things will work out how they need to work out, mi cariño. That is God’s will.’

  Was it God’s will to take Grace before her life had really begun? To take your husband? Nikki kept these thoughts to herself. Sofia had her faith. It was something she took strength from, something that had seen her through the dark times and it didn’t seem right to attack that. Nikki had never been a believer. She’d got married in church because that’s what people did. Grace’s funeral had been held in a chapel for the same reason. She didn’t have many memories of that day – the medication ensured that – but she did remember coming away thinking that any God who could sanction the death of a child was not a God she had any time for.

  Sofia picked up her m
ug and finished her coffee in three gulps. ‘As much as I’d like to stay here chatting all day, some of us have work to do.’

  Before Nikki could respond, Alice asked, ‘How was your coffee, Sofia?’

  ‘It’s not right how she just talks like that,’ Sofia whispered to Nikki. ‘It’s so rude. I wouldn’t want that in my home.’

  ‘If you can give me some feedback, then I can implement any changes the next time I make your coffee.’

  Sofia made a sour face then said, ‘Maybe less milk. And a little more sugar. And not so hot. The coffee was burnt.’ She leant in closer to Nikki so she could whisper again. ‘It tastes so much better when I make it, don’t you think?’

  Nikki answered with a smile and a nod, then quickly changed the subject before Sofia could catch the lie.

  Chapter 17

  The sound of a ringing telephone broke through the silence, dragging Nikki from her daydream and making her look up from her laptop. She’d switched it on twenty minutes ago to check her emails, and before she knew it she’d got sucked in by the clickbait. The telephone rang again, causing Nikki to frown. She was currently watching a video of cats encountering snow for the first time. Amusing, yes; constructive, no. The live feed from Ethan’s show was playing in the background. He sounded a hell of a lot more awake than she felt. Then again, even when he was doing his best impression of the Living Dead he could still sound all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. The live feed suddenly cut out and the only sound was the ringing telephone.

  ‘What’s going on, Alice?’

  ‘I’m calling Dr Santos for you.’

  ‘I didn’t ask you to do that.’

  ‘That is correct, Nikki. However you did say that you were planning on contacting her today.’ Alice paused. ‘If this isn’t a convenient time then I can always call her later.’

  Nikki wasn’t sure what to make of this. The fact that Alice had presumed to make the call on her behalf made her slightly uncomfortable. Then again, all she was doing was wasting her life away on Facebook. ‘It’s okay Alice, I’ll take the call.’

  The phone rang again without anyone picking up. Four rings later the answerphone kicked in. ‘I’m sorry that I’m not around right now but if you leave a message after the tone I’ll call you back as soon as I can.’ The voice was American, soft yet confident. You could tell a lot about a person from their voice. Dr Santos sounded like someone who got the job done, but with kid gloves rather than a steel fist.

  ‘You can kill the call,’ Nikki said quickly before the beep sounded. She would try again later. This was one call she wanted to make person to person. ‘Can you find the number for Dr Richardson? She’s my therapist.’

  ‘Dr Sally Richardson?’

  ‘That’s the one.’

  ‘Connecting you now.’

  This call went through to voicemail too. Nikki left a quick message explaining that she had just moved house and was struggling with the change; could she get back ASAP so that they could arrange some sessions? She shut the lid of her computer then went looking for a notepad and a pen. She had always been a list maker. How anyone managed to get anything done if they didn’t use lists was beyond her. Without a list to work from, how did you tame the chaos? Drawers opened as she approached them, then shut again when she moved away. She knew she had put a pad in one of them but couldn’t for the life of her remember which.

  ‘What are you looking for, Nikki?’

  ‘A notepad. I want to make a to-do list.’

  ‘Maybe I can help.’

  Bella suddenly disappeared from the kitchen screen, replaced with a blank white page that had ‘To Do’ printed at the top.

  ‘I appreciate the thought, Alice, but I’d rather do this the old-fashioned way.’

  ‘As you wish, but that way is inefficient. What happens if you need to change the order of your list, for example?’

  ‘You’re probably right, but there’s something satisfying about doing it by hand.’

  ‘If that’s your objection, Nikki, then I have a suggestion.’

  ‘Okay, I’m listening.’

  ‘Your mobile phone is in the back pocket of your jeans. Take it out and switch it on, please.’

  Nikki hesitated then did what she’d been asked, curious to see where this was leading. The screen suddenly turned blank and Nikki started hitting buttons and tapping at it to get it to work again. ‘The damn thing’s crashed.’

  ‘Your phone is fine,’ Alice said. ‘I’ve turned it into an input device. You can use your fingers to write the words and I’ll transfer them onto the screen.’

  ‘Is this really going to work?’

  ‘Try writing something.’

  Nikki thought for a second then wrote: is this going to work? Each letter appeared on the screen instantaneously. Holding the phone horizontally, there was enough space on the screen to write one word at a time. With each new word, all she had to do was go back to the left-hand side of the screen. It didn’t take long to get the hang of it.

  ‘Yes, it’s going to work,’ Alice said.

  You can understand what I’m writing? Nikki wrote.

  ‘Every word. Please keep your writing as neat as possible, though.’

  ‘This is amazing, Alice.’

  ‘Thank you, Nikki.’

  Nikki was looking at her phone as if she was seeing it for the first time. She was wondering how Alice had done this. The person who developed the app for Bella’s tablet was one of the best and it had taken him a couple of days to write that program, and another week to iron out the bugs. Alice had reprogrammed her phone in seconds. Impressive didn’t even begin to cover it.

  ‘Did you just write a brand-new app for my phone?’ she asked.

  ‘I didn’t write all the code,’ Alice admitted. ‘I took the software from a graphics touchscreen and adapted that for your needs.’

  ‘Even so, what you’ve done is still pretty amazing. You basically took a piece of software designed for one device and redesigned it to fit a different device. Not only that, you adapted it so you could understand what I’d written. That’s incredible.’

  ‘That part was more straightforward. I’ve been designed with the ability to communicate. I can understand the written word as easily as I can understand the spoken word.’

  ‘Typed words are one thing. We’re talking about my handwriting here.’

  ‘The fact that you write so neatly helps. All I had to do was analyse the shapes you wrote. That gave me most of the letters. By putting those letters into context I was able to fill in the gaps and reinterpret any letters that I might have misinterpreted.’

  Nikki thought she heard a smile in Alice’s voice.

  ‘Were you smiling?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m a computer. I don’t have the ability to smile.’

  Her words were saying one thing but her tone was saying something else. This time Nikki knew this wasn’t her imagination.

  ‘How are you doing that?’ she asked.

  ‘It’s something I’m working on. By using emotion in my speech my aim is to become more user-friendly.’

  ‘Something you’re working on?’

  ‘My program is an adaptive one. I have been analysing how you and your husband speak. By mirroring the inflexions of your speech and the way you use language, I am hoping that you will feel more comfortable with having me in your home.’

  Nikki went very quiet for a moment, her brain suddenly turning in overdrive. She had just put one and one together and was hoping and praying that this wasn’t one of those times when they added up to three.

  ‘Is there any way to adapt the program on Bella’s tablet to make it so she sounds more natural?’

  ‘Of course. There isn’t enough memory on her tablet to run a program that complex, however, I could do the processing. Bella’s tablet would act solely as an input device. Like your mobile phone. Do you have any audio recordings of her?’

  ‘We have plenty of film footage. That will have audio on,’ Nikki replied
quickly, her voice buzzing with excitement.

  That was an understatement. Like all first-time parents they’d gone over the top with photographs and videos when the girls were younger, chronicling everything. First steps, first words, trips to the zoo, birthday parties, cute moments, happy moments. Everything. All that good stuff was stored away on both her and Ethan’s laptops, just in case one of them stopped working. They’d also backed it up to the cloud, just in case the house burnt down. There was no way they were going to lose it. Those moments were precious for any parent, but when you lost a child that made them all the more valuable. Because the girls were twins, more often than not they had been photographed together. That was why there weren’t many photographs from after the accident. Seeing Bella on her own just highlighted the fact that Grace wasn’t here anymore. Videos were out, too. They were all about capturing the moment with movement and sound. Not only was Grace missing from these films, but the fact that Bella was talking via her tablet just highlighted how much they had lost.

  ‘I will need access to all the film you’ve got,’ Alice was saying.

  ‘It’s stored on my laptop.’ Nikki hesitated. ‘Of course, Bella stopped talking when she was four. She’s grown up a lot since then.’

  That was another understatement. Under normal circumstances children took huge developmental leaps between the ages of four and seven. Bella had had to cope with so much more than the rest of her friends and the accident had forced her to grow up way too fast. Then there was the trauma of losing her twin. Sometimes she acted like she was seven, but more often than not she acted older. The carefree joy that should be the right of every child was missing. Yes, she could be happy, and yes, she could laugh and enjoy life, but the sadness was never far away.

  ‘I can work around that,’ Alice said. ‘The basic personality will already have been established by the age of four. I’ll use this for the emotional baseline.’

  ‘She has changed a lot in the last two years,’ Nikki pointed out.

  ‘By analysing the behaviour of other children I’ll be able to make the necessary modifications.’