Aiding Abby (Gold Coast Retrievers Book 10)

by Kim Koby

  “Ben? Is this the new guy you were speaking of?”

  Abby mumbled. “Yeah.”

  “I know you went through some scary things, like the assault, then losing your father, but you don’t want to dig yourself a hole that you can’t climb out of. Don’t end up like me.”

  She wasn’t sure what to say.

  “I’ll tell you what,” her mother continued. “I’ll get help if you get help.”

  She had the option of saying no, but she couldn’t see her mother wasting her life away. All she needed was to talk through her pain, to get to the other side, and see that there was still life waiting for her.

  “Well? What do you say? You always tell me I need to go to therapy. I’ll go if you’ll get your life back together.”

  Abby rocked in place, then quietly whispered, “Okay.”

  “I’m scared, too,” her mother admitted. “I don’t know how to function most days. I’ve let myself get too comfortable, hiding away at home.”

  “I know that feeling,” Abby said. “It’s safe.”

  “It’s time to break free of our comfort zone. We can do it together.”

  “Mom, I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Abby. So, tell me about this Ben guy you spoke of earlier. Weren’t you supposed to go on a date?”

  “Yeah, but that’s not happening.”

  “Oh? Why not?”

  Abby stood and paced. Shadow watched as she walked back and forth across the family room carpeting. “It’s messy. Things didn’t align right is all.”

  Her mother didn’t say anything. She knew her daughter well enough. If she waited, Abby would continue.

  “It’s not going to work. I thought I liked the guy, but I got ahead of myself. It happens.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and shook her head, looking down.

  “Are you trying to convince me or you?” her mother asked.

  Abby turned toward her mom. “Why do you say it like that?”

  “What changed?”

  She sighed, then admitted, “He was there. I couldn’t have known. It came out as a matter of coincidence. I mean, the timing. None of it makes sense, but it is what it is. I have a hard time getting past that.”

  “He was there? Where? What are you talking about, Abs?”

  Abby stopped pacing. She looked at her mother, her expression vacant. “The assault. He was the witness that took off running.”

  “How could you possibly know that? Are you sure?”

  “He was telling me something and mentioned a location by the bank, the road…and a gun. I was stunned. When I heard the time and date…” Abby’s voice hitched. She took a moment to collect herself. “How can I move forward? How do I forgive him for abandoning me?”

  Her mother lifted a hand over her mouth. “Oh, dear.”

  “Right. I only just learned about it. It shook me up, obviously. I was crushed, and I’m not sure how to separate the two things, him as a man whom I like, and him as the witness who left me standing there alone.”

  She nodded in agreement. “I see your point. That would be difficult to hear. I’m sorry it was one in the same. I was happy when you said you’d met somebody—relieved, actually. I worry about you being alone all the time, isolating yourself from your friends, and you even avoid coming here more and more. I thought you’d finally let light back into your life.”

  “I don’t know what else to do.”

  “Have you tried to pray? It sounds so simplistic, but when we need bigger shoulders than our own, He is always there,” she gently reminded her.

  Abby glanced at the floor. She was embarrassed to admit that she hadn’t prayed enough lately. She’d let go of the faith that used to help stabilize her. It was hard to believe in a good God when she’d been let down and attacked. How could He let something that big happen in her life? Why didn’t He stop it? Save her from the monster? Why did He abandon her, just like Ben did that day? She’d never felt more alone. On occasion she prayed out of habit, but they felt like empty words.

  “It can’t hurt,” her mother said softly.

  “I should go.” Abby slowly folded into herself. She was ready to head back home, to the comfort and safety of the blankets on her bed. She was finished talking. She lied. “I’ve got a few things to do.”

  Her mother knew. “Okay. Give me a call later, so that I know that you’re okay.”

  “Yep.” Shadow followed her as she headed toward the door.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Ben wasn’t sure how to reach Abby. She asked for space and time. He wanted to respect her wishes, but he felt pulled to be around her. He understood her disappointment and he’d give anything to change it, but the past was the past. There was no going back.

  It was like hitting his head on a wall. Nothing changed, but he was beating himself up. He’d never been so driven, so desperate to prove himself. Abby was unlike anybody he’d met before, and the thought of her disappearing from his life was too much.

  In the short time he’d known her, she’d already weakened his resolve. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and looked forward to their date because he knew it would lead to a long relationship. And now, without that opening…without their date…he was left scrambling to find a way to reach out again.

  She didn’t want to see him. It tore at his heart. The way she jumped into his arms after he freed her from the cavern—it was everything he’d hoped for. It drew them closer, it was immediate, no thinking involved. The moment was spontaneous, natural, and spoke for itself. She longed for him the same way he longed for her.

  And now, she’d shut him down. Turned away. Said a final good-bye. He didn’t want to say good-bye, and he knew deep down she still cared for him. She froze up, was scared, hurt, and angry, but nobody shuts their emotions off like a faucet. It was a façade. She was saving face, trying to absorb the news, but there still had to be a spark…right?

  Ben desperately wanted to visit her. He wanted to see her gorgeous face, look into her eyes, and let his gaze fall to her pouty lips. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and press his mouth to hers. He wanted to tell her she’d brightened his lonely life. Sure, he had work, but there’d been nobody special. She was special…his special.

  He could take care of her, keep her safe, protect her from harm. He could chase away the monsters that lived under her bed or in her closet, or even in her mind. He knew he could, but she wouldn’t give him that chance. Yes. He’d been a coward. The moment happened. He couldn’t take it back, but he’d faced his fears and pushed himself into a new way of living.

  He tried to shut her out of his mind, but it was too soon. The wound was still fresh. Her words cut into him, and still he would give his right arm to make it up to her. Just one date. It was all he needed. She would see, they were meant to be together. She already knew that. They both did. You couldn’t hide from the kind of connection they’d built in such a short time.

  Sure, it seemed fast, rushed even, but the circumstances threw them together. They worked as a team, bonded, and now because of them there were consequences that Mr. Anderson and others would face. Her father would get justice. She’d be able to sleep at night.

  What he wouldn’t give to sleep. He’d tossed and turned the night before. She sat on his mind, like a fog that refused to lift.

  Chapter Twenty

  Abby turned her car toward the Cliff Walk trail. The exercise would do both her and Shadow good. Fresh air would clear her mind, and it would be nice to stretch her legs. She was certain Shadow would feel the same. After parking, she grabbed her water bottle and Shadow’s collapsible bowl.

  A breeze from the ocean cooled the path. At least it wasn’t muggy. She hated when the humidity left sweat sticking to her skin. She’d only meant to walk a mile, but she ended up going farther than usual.

  She settled onto a bench with Shadow for a bit. The walk was exactly what she needed. She poured some water into his bowl. When he finished, they started the return path. A large
object caught her eye. She spun just in time to see a whale breaching. Nature at its best. It never got old. She loved that they were around most of the year. It was always a treat to get a glimpse of the magnificent creatures.

  “Did you see that, boy?” Abby patted Shadow’s head. He wagged his tail in response. “Okay, let’s get moving.”

  Ben was on her mind. How could he not be? She closed her eyes and shook her head, hoping to knock his image from it. Why did it have to be complicated?

  She didn’t mean to go over, but something called to her. After leaving the trail, Abby drove to Ben’s place. She turned back toward Shadow. “What do you think? Is this a mistake?”

  His red pickup truck was there, so she knew he’d be home. She hesitated, then finally found the courage to go up to the door.

  She rang the bell and waited.

  Ben opened the door. “Abby?”

  “May we come in? I was hoping we could talk.”

  He opened the door wider. “This is a nice surprise.”

  She hadn’t planned what she’d say; she simply wanted to see him. Abby swallowed hard, then turned back toward Ben. “I was a little rough on you. I’m sorry about that.”

  “You had good reason.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She glanced down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. “You were there, but you’re not the one who hurt me.”

  “I wish I’d done more,” he admitted.

  “We were both changed that evening. Each in our own way.”

  “Abby, I…”

  She finally looked up at him.

  He met her gaze. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “I don’t know how to move forward, but I’d like to try.”

  Ben knelt and scratched Shadow’s ears. “I’ve missed you too, boy.”

  “I want to put it in the past, but I’m not sure how. I’ve been stuck, unable to change my outlook. Yet, after what happened with my family, things aren’t always what they seem to be. It’s got me thinking about how we sometimes only see what we want to. Maybe I need to change my perspective.”

  He moved in closer. “If you’d give me a chance…”

  “I forgive you, Ben. That’s what I’ve come to say. You were scared. Most people would have done the same.”

  He reached out for her, but Abby stiffened. “I’m not sure I can be who you need me to be.”

  “Maybe it was fate, pulling us back together. Maybe we’re supposed to help each other heal.”

  “I think that’s a leap too far,” she said quietly.

  “All I know is that the moment we came face-to-face, I knew I wanted to be around you. I still do.”

  She reached down and pushed her hand through Shadow’s coat. “I wanted there to be something there, something between us, but I think we both have too many things to work through on our own.”

  “Why not together?” he asked. “We connected. There’s something there. I know you feel it, too, or you wouldn’t be here.”

  She met his gaze again and got lost in his eyes. She did want to be there, to be around him, and yet something held her back.

  He reached out for her, trying once again. Ben tenderly cupped her face in his hand. “Give us another chance. Please.”

  The pull was strong, the desire dragging her closer like a magnet. She closed her eyes and parted her lips.

  Ben leaned in close, inches away, and whispered softly, “Can I kiss you?”

  She nodded.

  His lips pressed into hers, soft and gentle, like butterfly kisses.

  Abby’s heart raced like a thoroughbred. Her mind twisted like a tornado, moving so quickly, she thought she’d lose balance. His mouth against hers was pure perfection. He was tender, didn’t press, and didn’t ask for more.

  She fluttered her eyes, opening them, and looked at Ben. A small smile spread across her lips. “That was nice.”

  He grinned back at her. The moment was magic.

  Ben’s heart exploded. There was never any doubt in his mind that Abby was the one for him. He’d never been so drawn to a woman. The moment she entered the firehouse and sat beside him, the attraction was immediate.

  He wanted to be around her. Needed to be.

  They’d bonded over the oddities of the Anderson property, but he wanted to take her on a date. A real date. One where they could get to know each other better. He already knew she was strong, independent, a survivor, and so much more, but there was so much he didn’t know. He wanted to know the intimate details of her life. What was her favorite dessert? Her favorite movie? What did she dream of as a child? Where was she happiest? And was there some place she’d wanted to visit but never had the chance? Did she like sleeping in or waking early?

  He carefully worded the question, almost afraid of rejection, even though she’d kissed him back. “Do you think I could take you out? Or we could hang out here? Another walk? Dinner? There’s a vineyard not far from here, or if you prefer something like an amusement area? I’d love to spend more time with you.”

  Abby pressed her lips together. “I’d like that. I can’t make any promises, but I’ll do my best.”

  “It’s all I can ask for.”

  “Have you talked to your chief?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but I’m still not allowed to return early. It’s protocol and his hands are tied.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Ben looked down, embarrassed. “It’s the right call. I put myself and others at risk. It’s time for me to get that under control. Fighting fires is no place for a daredevil.”

  She fidgeted awkwardly.

  “Why don’t you sit down and stay a little while?” he asked.

  “Another day,” she answered quietly. “I have some things to take care of. I’d like to start jotting down notes and dictating pieces for my book. I’ve got a lot to do, and the sooner I start, the better.”

  “What’s the weekend look like? Do you want to try for Sunday?”

  She nodded. “Sunday is fine.”

  “How about I pick you up around four? We can go out and do something, then get a bite to eat.”

  “Four o’clock,” she repeated back to him.

  They said their good-byes. As Ben closed the door behind Abby, he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. He didn’t expect her to give him another chance, but fate stepped in after all.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Abby’s heart felt lighter. She somehow found the capacity for forgiveness. Maybe. She hoped. When she’d first heard that he’d been there, all she could do was shut down. The pain seared and clawed at her, making her wonder if the outcome would have been different. But truth be told, it might have been worse. They could have both been killed. She didn’t know Ben that day, but she knew him today. The Ben she knew cared about people, risked his life to help others, and went out of his way to make a change in hers.

  That he ended up at the police station, because he’d hoped to find answers about her father…he went above and beyond.

  Her mother’s words rang in her ears. Have you tried to pray?

  She hadn’t. Lately, her faith was that of a moving target. Some days, she felt a connection to Him, other days, she felt abandoned and alone. Abby wasn’t sure how to right that ship, but a little one-on-one time praying couldn’t hurt.

  She finally understood her brother’s return to the church. It was guilt that sent him back. He knew that he’d caused a chain reaction. That was when he changed his ways, after they lost their father. Everything seemed so clear.

  What wasn’t clear was what the future held for her and Ben. There was obviously an attraction, but would it be enough to pull them over the hurdle of their awkward past?

  She was willing to try, which is more than she’d anticipated. It was as much of a surprise to her as it was to him. She hadn’t planned on stopping by to see him, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

  The weekend rolled up quickly. Abby stared into her closet, convinced she had nothing to wear. She
tore her drawers open, hoping to find better choices. It was like she’d become another person. She never put this much effort into a style. Did she even have a style? Fashion was never her strong point. When she’d seen Ben before, she barely even paid attention to what she was wearing, so why did she suddenly need to make a better impression? He was already interested in her.

  She finally chose a purple blouse and paired it with dark jeans. No. That wouldn’t do. She peeled off the jeans and opted for something softer. A skirt? Slacks? Well, if she wore a skirt, the purple blouse wouldn’t match, and slacks, were they too business casual? Ugh!

  Safe? Flirty? Abby finally selected a gauzy-blue maxi dress and nude-beige sandals. A lightweight, white cardigan topped the look. Shadow watched as she flung clothes onto her bed until she’d found the right outfit.

  “Don’t judge me,” she teased him. “I’m a little nervous. Do you blame me? It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date.”

  She did a double take in the mirror and was happy with her final choice. She decided to keep her hair down and twisted a few pieces around a curling iron to create soft waves.

  “You’ll have to wear your vest and be on your best behavior, since we’re going to a restaurant,” she said, knowing full well that Shadow was always well-behaved. If only he didn’t have a love of chasing squirrels. Otherwise, he was well-behaved. He did have that one weakness, but she had a weakness for chocolate-chocolate-chip ice cream, so there was that.

  Abby was grateful that Ben understood Shadow’s presence in her life. Where she went, Shadow went. He seemed to take a liking to Shadow, so that helped matters. Once they were ready, they went to the kitchen to wait. She wanted to sit down and casually relax like a normal person, but that wasn’t a reality. Instead, she paced across the kitchen floor until she practically made a groove in the tile.

  When the doorbell rang, she drew a deep breath and waited a moment. She didn’t want to appear over anxious. She pasted on her best smile, then opened the door.