How To Be Fucking Awesome

by Dan Meredith

I realised there were lots of clothes, gadgets, books – things that I had either never used or they’d been at the bottom of a drawer or cupboard for so long that I didn’t even know I had them.

  It was an easy fix. If I hadn’t used something in the last six months, it went to the charity shop. As a result I have far less stuff I don’t need. All I have is what I actually use, which gives me a whole lot of freedom.

  It lifts a burden off your mind. The less clutter there is around you, the less cluttered your mind is.

  I do the same when I travel. I travel internationally, sometimes for a month at a time, with carry on only. When I’m in the States it can be a touch tricky as the weather can go from basking sunshine to frozen icy madness. But with a week’s worth of underwear, some T-shirts, smart and casual jeans, a decent pair of shoes, some quick-dry gym kit and portable versions of everything, I can travel the world, wash as I go, and be completely free.

  It’s massively liberating. That, and you don’t have to wait for your luggage, which is amazing! I promise you that you don’t need as much shit as you pack. Really. I’m a fucking pro at this now.

  BLAST AND CRUISE

  I got this idea from a humongous man who was talking about the spectacular levels of steroids he took to look, quite frankly, like he was made of footballs. Essentially, he would take all the drugs for three months, become a giant of a man, then drop his dose for three months to maintain.

  I have no idea if there is any scientific basis for this, but I loved the name, and I loved the concept. So leaning again on the 12 Week Year philosophy, I ‘Danified’ it and came up with this:

  Ninety days of bat shit crazy new business development, recruiting team members,– balls to the wall for the entire time. Do lots of work.

  Ninety days of chilled maintenance, putting systems and staff in place to handle volume of work, serve clients, getting feedback, refining process. Do less work and enjoy life.

  When I launch a new business venture I give it exactly ninety days to work. If it is not profitable, fun, takes up too much of my time or pisses me off, I tank it. Please note this is not for everyone! It just works well for me. I have hung on to ventures before that I should have let go a lot earlier. That and the hard deadline really focuses me.

  REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT

  If I need to crank work out, get shit done or focus for extended periods, I find a song that gets me in the right mood (whether that mood be creative or furious action). Put it on repeat. Listen to it over and over again until the work is done.

  I have no idea why this works, but my hunch is that the song occupies the part of my brain that goes 1,000 miles an hour and helps it to switch off. Anyway, I’m pretty damn far away from being a neuroscientist, but I know it works for me and lots of other folk who have tried it.

  THE ROUTINE OF DAN

  I get asked a lot about what my routine is. People seem to love the concept of the ‘power hour’ – that first hour of the day (there are quite a few books on this).

  As always, I have my own version, a lot simpler and more manageable. I’m going to give you my morning routine, and my evening routine as that sets up the next morning routine.

  Feel free to shamelessly steal and integrate this into your own life.

  Morning routine. Unless I have a meeting or somewhere to be, I don’t set an alarm. When my body wakes me up, that’s when I get up. Some days I need a lot of sleep/recovery. Some days I am wide awake after four hours. Ever since I stopped obsessing about my sleep (because I am quite shit at it as a rule) I feel amazing most days.

  My brain is smarter than me; I let it handle things.

  If I do need to wake up, I use an old-school wind-up alarm clock.

  Really.

  Next, and I learned this from Ben Settle, the first part of my day I am massively selfish with. It’s mine. All mine…

  You can’t have it!

  Since I have done this my mood and general love for what I do have increased considerably. Once I feel human, I’ll go make a coffee, sit on my balcony and simply do two minutes of controlled breathing.

  I can’t meditate for shit. In fact, you have more chance of catching me clean-shaven than sitting cross-legged, eyes shut, in some fucking lotus position or whatever.

  So I use an App that I breathe in and out to. (Honestly now, don’t start emailing me about which App. Any will do.) It works, sorts my head out, and I’ve been less stressed since I started doing it.

  Like many things in life, two minutes, job done – ha! (Sorry, ladies.)

  Next, I read. Now I have three books on the go at all times. As I mentioned earlier, I used to beat myself up over having all the books and not reading them. Now? I pick the most suitable three and read one–two chapters of each of them every day. For me, a combination of an autobiography, a business/marketing/mindset book and some easy, fun-to-read fiction works well.

  Then I’ll watch some stand-up comedy, some ‘grown-up cartoons’, fuck around on the Xbox or do something that makes me equally happy.

  Why?

  Well, we all have those days when we see an email or message and it pisses us right off. By putting myself in an awesome mood first thing, I find I’m nowhere near as bothered if someone gets on my tits or annoys me.

  What I haven’t mentioned so far is what I do with my phone. One thing I don’t do is look at it till at least mid–late morning. It’s too easy to let that little fucker run your life – I know it has mine more than once – and in today’s modern world we can all be reached so easily. I’ve realised that most of the stuff you get on email and in various inboxes is rarely life or death. So don’t let that little digital prick tell you what to do.

  I’ll explain why in my evening routine, but I would suggest you give your mobile number only to people like family, partner, kids and close friends.

  Evening routine. A little shorter this time, but equally important. For starters – make sure you don’t have any calls or work stuff unless it’s hyper critical in the last two hours of your day. Yes, there are times when you have to go balls/ovaries deep – but try and keep the last few hours of your day to yourself.

  If I am working, although I look like a massive tool, I wear funky orange glasses that block UV light. The blue light that is emitted from everything fucks up our natural rhythms, and these bad boys block that blue light so my brain senses sleepy time soon.

  Oh, on that matter, make sure you get anything that emits a blue light out of your bedroom. Get some heavy-arsed blackout blinds, and keep your room a little cold.

  I was taught all this by a genius called Ari Meisel. He has an amazing productivity App (called ‘Peak Time’) and a virtual assistant service that is fucking awesome. Check him out.

  Again, I won’t go into detail (we’re already overwhelmed with info). Just do it. It works. You will thank me when you actually get a good night’s sleep.

  In those last two hours, I turn all notifications off (except text and calls as those will be from peeps I want to be able to reach me if they need to). Really, if something’s that important, others will find a way to get hold of me, but as a rule, if I get a message that late, it can wait.

  Remember whose life it is, OK?

  The last few hours of the day are for you to chill. If you want to Netflix binge for a few hours, watch mindless TV, blow up zombies online or do something more refined like reading or listening to music, no one has the right to steal that time from you.

  You work bloody hard enough all day; this time is for you. Be selfish with it.

  Then, the final piece of the puzzle is: take that phone, take the charging cable and leave the little bastard in another room. Takes a bit of discipline, but again trust me on this. Most people are slaves to their phones. Your bedroom should be reserved for two things.

  Sleeping and sex.

  Or maybe building a pillow fort. That is also acceptable.

  BE PRODUCTIVE TO DO/ACTION STEPS

  How to set your week up for success (th
e 3–5 system). Spend some time (I do this Sunday evening) writing down everything on paper that you want to get done. Empty your head of everything. Once you’ve got a list of things to do, you’re going to want to rank them 1, 2 or 3.

  – super important

  – important, but doesn’t need to be done immediately

  – not time bound or critical

  Highlight all the 1s and build out your diary, starting with the most important tasks. No less than three, no more than five things to do per day. If you have space, start adding 2s and 3s to your days.

  The dentist appointment. Aka simply one hour every day to work on new business development. Find one hour slots in your day when you can focus and let the creative side of you come out.

  Take a train ride to nowhere. This is bloody brilliant. If you’ve got a stack of work to crank out and you need a focused place to do it, plan a trip somewhere around two hours away with no changes. Oh, and by the way, make sure you book a table seat. Commit to two hours of extremely focused work. Get off the train, go have fun, have lunch, potter around, and then return for another two hours of focused work on the way home.

  My one bag philosophy. If you want to lift a heavy burden off yourself, have less clutter and relax your mind. Do this. If you’re travelling, take just as much as you need and make sure it fits in only one small bag (a carry on size).

  Repeat, repeat, repeat. Find a song that gets you in the right mood. Whack that on repeat. Listen to it over and over again until the work is done. This alone helps me switch off from trying to run at 1,000 miles an hour.

  The first hour (it’s all yours). Be selfish with the first hour of your day. Don’t fuck around on Facebook or check your emails. Get yourself in the right frame of mind to start the day. By doing this you’re going to be in a more focused mood to get shit done during the day. Read a book, or watch some stand-up comedy – whatever floats your boat.

  9

  BE AROUND LIKEMINDED PEOPLE

  Who you hang out with determines what you dream about and what you collide with. And the collisions and the dreams lead to your changes. And the changes are what you become. Change the outcome by changing your circle.

  SETH GODIN

  Let me explain. Normal people around you won’t have a clue what you are doing. Nor will they understand jack shit about what you’re going through on this journey of entrepreneurialism and awesomeness.

  So it’s important to surround yourself with likeminded people – those who are not only on the same journey as you, but some who are further along the line or maybe slightly behind you.

  The key is they should have similar goals, ambitions and values to you.

  There’s no point hanging round lazy fucking people who are unhappy with their soul-sucking jobs (and refuse to do anything about it), only waiting until the weekend to numb their senses partying until 4am and wasting the money they just spent sixty+ hours in the week earning. That or they sit in front of the TV, slowly letting their life slip by. They then do the same again the following week.

  No aim, no game.

  This concept of surrounding myself with my kinda people has actually accelerated my success tenfold. And I implore you to take note and implement this chapter like a mofo.

  So let’s crack on…

  Before we begin, I’d just like to say that coaches and mentors are not magic bullets. If you want results, you, and only you, have to do the work. Nobody can do it for you. I see people hiring good coaches (shit ones are, well – shit) then whining as things don’t work out for them. Often these people did none of the work and are simply looking for someone to blame.

  But I digress.

  This topic – again – may seem simple, but it actually takes a bit of effort and a bit of trial and error to get right.

  But when you do? It can be transformational to the point you will kick yourself for not doing it sooner.

  I want you to get the concept of being around people just like you and people you want to be like in your head. I did this with a combination of Facebook groups (and when I couldn’t find one that really fitted me, I made my own: ‘Coffee With Dan’), masterminds, events, seminars, coaches and mentors. All, I believe, are important for your growth as a person.

  I’m going to address one thing right off the bat. You may have already experienced this, or maybe you’re yet to do so, but as you get better at what you do and more driven to achieve your goals, you are going to lose friends. Full stop.

  Now, this is coming from someone who identifies himself as a people pleaser. I’ve been told I suffer from something called ‘Superman syndrome’. In other words, I want to help and/or save everyone.

  But realistically? I can’t. It’s just not possible.

  When you start to make changes and good shit happens for you, you will naturally find your circle of friends will evolve. And it will include more people who are like you, or on a similar mission.

  You know that saying, that you are the sum of the five people you tend to spend the most time with? It rings true. I love my friends. And those I grew up with, met at university or picked up along the way I cherish.

  But the people I spend the most time with tend to be as driven and ambitious as me. Of course, I make time for my mates. It would make me an utter scumbag if I dropped them.

  Some people won’t get what you are doing, and simply think it’s odd, and that’s OK. That’s their right. But flip the coin and there are others who will down right want to keep you unsuccessful. Safe to say you’ll soon see their true colours emerge.

  People you may have looked up to, respected, and classed as friends turn on you. It’s sad, but it happens. It doesn’t make you or them bad people; it’s just the way it is. As I mentioned earlier in the book, some people are simply going to resent your ambition or success. Because it highlights their ambitiousness, or lack of it.

  It hurts – really it does – and I hope it doesn’t happen to you. But I need you to be ready for it, ’cause it can cripple you if they had been really close friends.

  I have spoken to many people about this – seems to be a fact of life when you start to make it.

  I’m just giving you a heads up.

  Right, positive and useful shit now!

  So, I’m sure we agree that surrounding yourself with people on a similar mission to you is a good thing. But how do you find them? Well, here are a few ideas to get you started.

  Facebook groups and forums. This is a great low/no cost option and is where I advise everyone to start. Find a group that fits your ethos, filled with people like you, and join in.

  I have noticed with my own group there are a lot of ‘lurkers’ who read but never interact. I haven’t actually met a lurker who makes big changes in their life. Mainly because they don’t get involved, and that tends to translate into real life as well.

  But equally there are a lot more action takers who fully interact and make the group what it is. Simply awesome. Don’t be a lurker; become one of the action takers.

  If you join a group, forum or community, maybe spend a little while seeing who is in charge, who the major players are, understanding the lingo and how it works – then dive in! Introduce yourself, contribute, add value (yes, no matter how new you are to whatever it is you’re doing, you have value).

  Couple of things, though. Don’t be too keen. We all know that person who is too into it. Enthusiasm is great, but don’t make people want to avoid you by being too full on. Play it cool.

  Add value before you take. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, pertinent questions or join in on conversations. Simply put, I have found being a useful member of a community before asking for anything goes a long way.

  Give before you expect to get.

  And don’t spam or pitch. That’s a dick move.

  In person events and seminars. These are great for meeting other folks like you. Personally I find the paid ones better, which is directly in line with my ‘pay to play’ philosophy which I will go i
nto in more depth later. It’s also an opportunity to connect with influencers and other industry leaders on a personal level.

  So, a good thing, then.

  Want a tip? Let’s just say you have a service – and let’s say that service has an audience. Might be worth popping along, right?

  This is what I did when I launched my fitness copywriting business.

  Instead of going to events with other copywriters, I went to events for fitness professionals. Then through organic conversations and networking (ugh, I hate that word) I picked up a shit-tonne of business with zero pitching or effort.

  I did the same when I was a headhunter. I went to the industry events of my niche and chatted to people. When they invariably asked what I did, I told them, and as a result picked up a stack of clients.

  Sometimes it’s not people but places that inspire you to get shit done and show you what your life could be like.

  Brilliantly, you can do this for free or, at most, the price of a cup of coffee. If you are looking to increase your wealth, sometimes being in places where wealth is can inspire you. I often go to fancy-as-fuck hotels and have a coffee in the lobby or bar and work for an hour or two. I can’t quite explain the mechanism, but being around success and wealth, if that’s your thing, is pretty bloody inspiring. Plus, it’s really good fun to try and blag your way into fancy places. It has become somewhat of a hobby of mine to see where I can get into.

  I have heard of people taking luxury cars for a test drive, hanging out in the bars at fancy events (and if you are skint this is a great way to meet people and connect as all the best stuff is done at the bar, not in the main room), or buying passes to the executive airport lounge just to experience it.

  Once you have done it a few times, it’s weird – it kinda becomes normal and not quite as amazing as you think. That in itself is a great mindset switch and I encourage you to try it as often as you can. Because if you want it badly enough, you can get it. I didn’t think I could for a long time – now I can. But brilliantly, now I can, I don’t really want it.