Punishment

by Guerin Zand

  “Ok. For now, the committee has ruled that Guerin’s answer must stand. If the twins can get him to confirm the score at a later date, the committee will reopen the issue, but for now, we will table the matter. I guess this should be a warning to all players planning on scoring with Guerin. You should be ready to supply proof of the score in the future. A video or sample of bodily fluids should suffice. Let’s move on.”

  “Let’s start the What Would Guerin Do portion of this evening. Now Guerin has already provided me with his answers for the official record, but we thought since he is here tonight we would let him answer them directly. The first question is: Which would you prefer, a day alone with Julie or another four months in Gitmo? The results from the player’s responses are 77.89% for another four months in Gitmo. Guerin, what was your answer?”

  “That’s an easy one, Nancy. Four more months in Gitmo.”

  “Ok. That was an easy one. I don’t know how any of you could have gotten that one wrong. Next question. What sidearm do you prefer, a .45 auto or an energy weapon? The player response is overwhelmingly 89.78% for an energy weapon. Guerin?”

  “Well, that was sort of a trick question. If you aliens could come up with a decent blaster, disintegrator, or plasma weapon, the answer would have been definitely the energy weapon. BUT, since all you’ve ever shown me are a bunch of wimpy stun weapons, I have to stick with the trusty .45 auto. Always a crowd pleaser.”

  “Ok, ok. We have to take his final answer which was the .45 auto. Here’s a good one. What did Guerin ask Julie for in his dream spaceship, a stasis chamber full of red meat or a hot tub? The players, overwhelmingly again, with 94.57% of the responses for the stasis chamber full of red meat. Your answer Guerin?”

  “A hot tub, of course. I can always stop off at Earth for a side of beef.”

  The was a lot of grumbling in the crowd. A lot of people were losing credits. There was a leaderboard showing the latest rankings of the top ten players which were changing with each question. Nancy went through the remaining questions and when she finished she made another announcement.

  “We have a special musical treat tonight. Guerin and his daughter Maria have agreed to play a few songs for us all, so we’ll take a break for about half an hour before the band begins to play. Stretch your legs, get a drink and we’ll start the music portion of the evening shortly.”

  Nancy appeared to really enjoy this gathering. I guess the game was her baby after all. During the break credits were being traded for God knows what. It looked like the twins, who ran this bar, were taking wagers on something. I asked Suzy about that and she said that they wagered on just about everything. From what she could overhear they were wagering on how long we might play, what songs we would perform, the number of songs we would perform and so on, and so on. Not only were the twins in the food and beverage industry, but they made book on the side. They were also known to trade credits for sexual favors, at least I knew they did that with me. What kind of monsters did Julie create? These two were like the local mob all rolled up into two seemingly innocent looking young ladies. Maybe I shouldn’t have crossed them when it came to getting their credits for the score.

  Maria came over and dragged me to the stage. I hated performing and it was even worse here. I felt like the aliens were always watching their pet monkey perform. Somehow, agreeing to perform made it so much worse. We were going to perform two songs with just me and her, and then Sid and Nancy would join us for a few.

  We started by performing a song from Steve Howe, of the band Yes, Mood for a Day. This is a fairly complex piece. It’s open to a lot of improvisation since Steve Howe always played this a little different in every live performance. Maria loved this song as a little girl, and I must have played it a gazillion times while she was growing up. When she started to play the ukulele, she would try to keep up with my playing the best she could. By the time she moved on to a full sized acoustic guitar, she pretty much knew the song. It only took her a couple of days practice to get it down. What we did to make this song even more difficult was we played it in sync with each other. After so many years of doing this, it wasn’t as difficult as it looked, but it was impressive all the same.

  This night we started the song, and at some point, in the middle of the song I decided to substitute a harmonic for the actual fretted note to be played. Maria looked up at me to see me smiling and she returned the smile. She then found a spot and did the same. We got to a point where we just both alternated harmonics, note for note, for a short portion of one of the songs scales. We both laughed as we finished out the song. It was the closest I felt to my daughter in a long time. When she was 11, 12 and 13, we played every day together. As the teenage years took over, that stopped, and we only played together on rare occasions. This was the first time we had in many years, not counting the practice with Sid and Nancy the other day.

  Next, we played a duet we wrote when Maria was 12. I guess it was sort of a love song, a silly little love song, between a father and his daughter. It could just have easily been interpreted as a love song between a man and a woman. Probably if you didn’t know the backstory, one might think that. It was about our trip to Italy for dinner that turned into a romp through Europe. When we wrote the song, one of us would come up with a lyric, and the other would have to come up with a line that rhymed. This is how we played music together. Like we were playing catch with the song. The songs name was Istanbul, and it was from one of the sillier rhymes. My part was “If you push, I’ll pull” and it took Maria a bit to come up with “But I’d even love you still in Istanbul”. We had visited Istanbul as part of the dinner tour of Europe, and she thought it was a silly name. This was Anna’s favorite song. Whenever she could corral the two of us to play it for her she would. As I said, it was like playing catch between us. When one of us sang their part they would play the rhythm, and the other would play lead, and we would switch back and forth. It really was Anna’s song, so when we finished we both had tears in our eyes.

  We played Behind Blue Eyes by the Who. That was the one song I got to pick. The group thought my musical choices were a bit depressing, and they said that wasn’t the point of the gathering. I played acoustic and sang while Nancy drummed, Sid played bass, and Maria played electric guitar.

  The next song was an original by Maria called Release. I was intrigued when I was younger by some of the more obscure works of Robert Frip of King Crimson fame. His one-man performances, that he did using multiple old-fashioned analog tape delay loops, fascinated me. Playing solo and starting simple to build this grand song all on his own. I started to do the same with the latest effects boxes when I played guitar in my early years. One day, I saw a YouTube video of this girl, Tash Sultana, and I was blown away. She had taken what Robert Frip had started, and I couldn’t even do justice, and created something truly special. There also was a high probability that Tash was just one of many aliens, passing themselves off as human, who had simply slipped through the cracks.

  The team and I would troll YouTube at times looking for these aliens. Remember, all aliens are big pervs and showoffs. They naturally flocked to YouTube. It was one of those times when I came across one of Tash performing in her bedroom. Not like that you pervs! She was performing a song in her bedroom. Sometimes these aliens needed to be given the boot, there were some real freaks out there, and some I just left alone, like Tash.

  I played Tash’s video of the Jungle that she recorded in her bedroom for Maria one day, and she was as blown away as I was when I first saw it. She could not get enough of Tash’s music. She saw what I had tried to do and saw what it could be. That influenced all of her future music. Growing up in Chile also had a noticeable influence on her musical style and it was completely different from my own. I introduced her to Tash, a little after her fourteenth birthday, and the two hit it off. I actually wanted to meet Tash as much as Maria did, but I pretended it was just for my daughter when I arranged the meeting. They spent several weekends together over the yea
rs and recorded together at times. Release was one of those songs the two had recorded. Tash had become a good friend of the family. One I’d miss, and I’m sure Maria would as well.

  I sat at the bar while Maria performed this song solo. She must have gotten with Sid to fabricate the effect boards she needed because I knew we hadn’t brought her gear with us. There was a lot we had to go back to Earth for and our collection of instruments was on the top of that list. Maria was a brilliant songwriter. That side of your brain that favored creativity and artistic ability was dominant in my daughter. I was the opposite. My brain was the analytical type. I solved problems and my creativity was limited to writing silly little love songs with my daughter. As I watched her play I couldn’t have been prouder, but I was sad at the same time. I’d taken her away from all those things she loved on Earth and her friends like Tash.

  She finished up and came to sit with me at the bar. The crowd was still applauding and cries for an encore started. I told her to go up and play something else, but she insisted that I join her. I finished my drink, which of course was of no help at this point in the evening and followed her back up to the stage. I signaled for Sid and Nancy to join us. We formed a little huddle and I forced my song choice on them by threatening to sit it out. Like I said, they thought my songs were too depressing, but I didn’t think so. Music by They Might Be Giants is depressing, like happy thoughts of suicide. My choice was Give me Novocaine by Green Day. I thought it was a happy song about using drugs to escape reality. Something I wished I could still do!

  I sat down after that and Maria played a few more of her originals. She had a beautiful voice, and the songs were melodic and soothing. Now, that kind of music made me want to slit my wrists when I heard it at a bar. I kept that thought to myself. I had seen Milly and Julie in the back of the room during one of our songs, but Milly had left already. Julie was still back there. I motioned for her to join me at the bar when Maria had finished. The crowd hushed as Julie, dressed in a very seductive red dress in honor of her character, the Red Empress, walked through the crowd to join the rebel leader. Maria came over and gave me a quick hug and said she was going to hang with the lizards.

  Julie sat down next to me and ordered herself a drink. For lack of anything else to do, I ordered another as well. If nothing else, I needed to maintain the level of intoxication my body would allow me.

  “Trying to drink yourself to death once more, Guerin?”

  “If I only could, Julie. Thanks for ruining that for me as well.”

  “Don’t mention it. Your daughter is quite talented. You must be very proud of her.”

  “I am. I just feel bad that she has to leave all of that behind now.”

  “Why? She can continue with her music with us.”

  “It’s not the same. She had friends and a future back home, and that’s gone for now. She hasn’t complained, but I’m sure she’ll miss Earth.”

  “She can still go back when she wants. We’ll protect her. I promise, Guerin. Why don’t you stop worrying and wait and see what happens first? It won’t be long before she can protect herself. You’ll see.”

  I tossed my head to the side and shrugged my shoulders.

  “I loved the first two songs you two played together. Your other songs were a bit depressing though.”

  “Not you too. I like those songs. They make me happy.”

  “That’s what worries me, Guerin. Milly had to leave in the middle of that first one you did with Sid and Nancy. It made her break out in tears. Way to go.”

  “I’m sorry, ok? I won’t play next time if that would make the universe happy.” I took another drink and shook my head. Everyone’s a critic.

  “So, Julie, what happened to your game tonight? Looks like you fell into second place.”

  “That asshole who’s playing the Guerin character has to be cheating. He got the answers to all the questions right. How the hell could he do that?”

  “Well, aliens cheat. Even I know that. You know, I’ve got more than a few drinks in me, and well, you’re looking pretty good tonight. Perhaps you’d like to score some extra credits in exchange for that little spaceship we talked about?”

  Julie laughed. “Still such a charmer, Guerin. How can any woman resist an offer like that?”

  “Beats me. According to my character’s scorecard, he’s chalked up over 8,000 women since the game started. I guess maybe he picked up on a few of my tricks.”

  “Well, as tempting as I find your offer, I’m going to have to decline.”

  “That’s fine. Just don’t come to me begging for it later, you had your chance.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. So would you like to tell me more about your plans? Everyone says you’re not saying much.”

  “Can we not talk work at the bar, please? If you’re going to do that than just leave. I didn’t invite you over for a drink so I could be even more depressed.”

  “Ok. How about we have breakfast at my place tomorrow morning, say 8 AM?”

  “I don’t know. I was kind of leaving it open for the twins. They probably want those credits, and maybe if I help them out they could arrange for a spaceship to my liking. They seem to be quite the entrepreneurs.”

  “Ok. How about 8:01 AM then?”

  “Real funny, Julie. If you’ll stop pestering me I’ll agree to breakfast, say 8:05?”

  Julie smiled. “Ok, it’s a date.”

  “No, it’s not! Don’t go trying to score credits behind my back like that. It’s a business meeting only.”

  “Ok.” Julie finished her drink. She stood up and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll see you then. Try and behave yourself the rest of the night if you can.”

  “It’s not like there are any Trogans here for me to beat the shit out of, so don’t worry.”

  Julie looked at me, shook her head, and walked off. I headed over to join the table with the kids and our friends.

  “Still drinking, Dad?”

  “It’s not like it makes any difference.” The crowd was slowly dispersing. It was around 1 AM by Earth standard.

  “Come on. We’re all going to get some burgers.”

  “You? What about your vegan principles?”

  “It’s not really meat, and besides, I always used to go eat junk food after a night out drinking.”

  “Really?”

  “There are a lot of things I do that you don’t know about, Dad. Would you like me to tell you about them all?”

  “No, that won’t be necessary.”

  We headed back up to the day side where we were all staying and made our way to the Earth Burger stand. I was surprised they were open. They were the only place opened and they were packed. It did remind me of Earth.

  We all grabbed something to eat and found an open table. I finished my burger and fries and was sipping my malt. “You know, if they want to be more like I remember Earth, they really need a White Castle. That’s really the gold standard of drunken burger joints.” Maria had never been to a White Castle, but Roger, Katie, and Steve had. They all shook their heads in agreement. Prima and Seca’s ears perked up. I could see another blatant trademark infringement in the making. Fucking aliens!

  Chapter 31

  Another Breakfast with Julie

  I woke up the next morning feeling relatively good for having consumed a remarkable amount of alcohol the night before. I guess even the joy of a well-earned hangover was now beyond my grasp. Sure, we all hate hangovers, but I always embraced mine. It was right up there with spending the night, after a good binge, in the local jail. A badge of honor for any professional. None of the science fiction I had ever read prepared me for the alien universe I found myself in. I never read about how mind-numbingly dull alien life really was, or how it seemed to take the joy out of every aspect of life. I was just waiting for sex to become boring and just too much trouble to bother with. I was sure that day was coming too.

  Seeing as how the day was already ruined, I got up, showered, and headed up to Juli
e’s penthouse for breakfast. I was sure she could make the day even worse, so I guessed that was something to look forward to. I rang the doorbell and I was surprised to see Milly open the door.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m staying with Julie while I’m on this ship. It’s nice to see you too.”

  “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  “Well, come on in. We have breakfast ready and you don’t want it to get cold, do you?”

  “You’re going to be joining us?”

  “Yes. Is that a problem?”

  I just shrugged my shoulders and followed Milly through the palace into the kitchen area where Julie was waiting. There was a small table in the kitchen. I took a seat across from Julie that she indicated was mine, and Milly sat between us. There was a plate with country fried steak, eggs, and hash browns in front of me along with a cup of Joe.

  “Please. Enjoy your breakfast, Guerin.”

  “Thanks. It looks good.” We all started digging into the meals in front of us. They, of course, were having the equivalent of a fruit bowl. Fucking vegans!

  “I enjoyed hearing you and your daughter performing last night. It was easy to see just how close you and your daughter are from watching you two play together. The way you played in sync and how you played off each other. It was beautiful.”

  “Thanks, but why did you leave so early, Milly?” I took a sip of my coffee. “You missed Maria’s solo work. She’s the real talent, and it was the best part of the night.”

  “The song you played with Sid and Nancy made me feel bad. Is that how you feel about us and your life?”

  I finished chewing my mouthful of food. It reminded me of how waitresses will come up to you when your mouth is full, on purpose, and ask how everything was. I wasn’t quite finished with my breakfast, but I pushed it away. I was sure I was about to lose my appetite.