The Sea Glass Cottage

by RaeAnne Thayne

  Roy looked over and beamed. “I should go say hello. What a relief to see her looking so good.”

  He headed in that direction, leaving one of the backup guys to take over handing out strips of bacon.

  “It’s a great turnout, isn’t it?” she said to him.

  “Yes. Amazing. Mostly because of you.”

  She shrugged off the compliment. “People love when you give them a call to action. I’m of the opinion that most people are good—they only need an excuse to show it. Do you have anything you would like to say to the fire department followers on social media?”

  “On record?”

  She held up her camera. “Sure. I can do video. Let me set it up. Just a moment.”

  She fiddled with the settings, then smiled and gestured at him. “Okay. Go ahead.”

  He didn’t love media interviews but this one was for a good cause. He could handle that, couldn’t he? He made a brief statement expressing his gratitude to everyone for their support. She asked a couple of questions about how much longer they would be open and where people could donate, even if they hadn’t been able to make it to the breakfast. They had just wrapped things up and she had put down her camera when Sheila Gallegos approached them.

  “Chief Vance. How can we ever thank you for everything?”

  “It was our pleasure,” Cooper said. “You know this was completely a team effort.”

  “Please be sure to let everyone know how much we appreciate them. I’ve tried to get around to everyone, but I don’t know if I’ve been able to hit them all. But now I think we need to go. Pete is getting tired. He would like to say a few words before we leave. Would that be okay?”

  “Of course,” he said. “We already have a microphone set up. I just need to grab it.”

  He found the cordless mic they had been using for announcements and carried it over to Pete in his wheelchair. He was aware as he walked that Olivia was following behind, her camera ready again.

  Even though Pete Gallegos’s voice was weak and his hand holding the mic trembled, his words were heartfelt as he talked about how difficult it was for a proud man to accept help, but how very grateful he was for everyone’s efforts.

  When he finished thanking everyone and the crowd responded with huge applause and a standing ovation from those who were seated at the long tables, Pete handed the microphone back to Cooper.

  “We have loved doing it. From what I understand, we’ve raised more than enough to modify the bathroom of your house, with several thousand dollars left over for other modifications.”

  Pete beamed, his smile somewhat lopsided now.

  Daisy Davenport, an accountant and artist in town who had volunteered to handle the financial details of the fund-raiser, took the microphone. “We have one more announcement. Because of the generosity of the people of Cape Sanctuary, a couple of last-minute large donations and in cooperation with a dealership in Redding, we now can tell you that there are enough funds to purchase a ramp-equipped van for you.”

  Pete and Sheila began to cry and hugged each other. Cooper felt suspicious emotion in his chest, too, but managed to stay in control while they expressed their gratitude once more before handing back the microphone.

  Cooper loved seeing people come together. Like Olivia had said, people were mostly good. They just needed an excuse to show it.

  “Thank you again.” Sheila Gallegos hugged him.

  “You know I didn’t do much. It was a whole community effort.”

  “Not just the fund-raiser. Everything. You have no idea what you’ve done. It’s a great comfort to Pete to know you’re here.”

  “That’s right,” the former chief said. “I can’t do the job anymore, but at least I know it’s in good hands.”

  “It’s my honor and challenge to try filling your shoes,” he said, taking the man’s outstretched and trembling hand in his once more.

  “I knew you had the makings of a fine firefighter from the time you were seventeen years old, when you risked your life and tried to save Steve Harper.”

  Cooper saw Olivia pale at the mention of her father.

  “I’ll never forget the sight when we rolled up on scene after you called in the report of the fire. I don’t know how you did it, a skinny seventeen-year-old kid, pulling out a man who probably weighed fifty pounds more than you did. By the time we got there, you had started CPR and wouldn’t stop, even after we tried to take over. I’ll never forget the sight of you, your face black and your hands burned, tears rolling down your face from the pain, but you still didn’t stop.”

  Cooper didn’t want to talk about this. Not ever, but especially not right now in front of Olivia. It had been the single defining moment of his life and he hadn’t discussed it with anyone, not even the woman he was coming to care for so deeply.

  “He was a man I admired and respected.”

  “Darkest day in the history of this department,” Pete said. “Your father was a hero, Olivia. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him.”

  “Thank you,” she mumbled, not looking at Cooper.

  “We should get you home,” Sheila said to her husband, giving Cooper an apologetic look.

  “Thank you again,” she said, then pushed her husband through the crowd toward the door.

  “I’m sorry,” he said to Olivia.

  “You called in the report of the fire. I never knew that.”

  “Yes. I was, uh, driving past and saw smoke, so I called it in.”

  Her gaze narrowed. “You’re lying,” she said flatly.

  His mother used to tell him he was a lousy liar. Apparently, age and maturity hadn’t improved that.

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I’ve always wondered why my dad went into that burning building without gear or without waiting for the rest of the department to come. It didn’t make any sense. Now it does. He didn’t just randomly run in. All this time, everyone said you ran in after him, but that’s not what happened, is it? He ran in after you.”

  Cooper felt sick, the smell of syrup and bacon congealing in his stomach. He couldn’t have this conversation with her here, in a crowded fire station.

  “It wasn’t like that, Olivia,” he said.

  He was going to have to tell her. He didn’t want to but Cooper could see no way to avoid it. He should have told her a long time ago. She had lost her father and deserved to know the truth about why, no matter how painful.

  He would have chosen a hundred different places or times to do this. He should have done it somewhere else when he had the chance. Since he hadn’t, he could only think of one private spot where they might have a few undisturbed moments—his office.

  He gestured to the front of the fire station, with a small reception area and his office leading off it.

  She followed him as if in a daze. Cooper felt a tight pressure in his chest, as if he were inside his mask without the oxygen hooked up.

  She pushed the door closed behind her. “Tell me what happened that night,” she demanded. “What really happened.”

  He leaned against the desk, wishing he could take her in his arms, more for his sake than hers.

  “Tell me the truth.”

  He was silent, the words catching in his throat like creosote. “I was looking for a...friend that night. This friend was going through a hard time. I was worried she was...suicidal because of something that had happened to her a few weeks earlier. When she didn’t answer my text that night, I went looking for her. I knew she and some friends had broken into the house a few times to party, so I thought that’s where she might have gone. Turns out she did, but she had someone with her. A guy I didn’t know. A tourist, I think. She wasn’t suicidal. They were smoking weed and fooling around. I...tried to get her to leave but she wouldn’t. Since she didn’t seem in imminent danger, I left, feeling stupid for trying to
help.”

  “Sounds to me like you weren’t stupid. You were worried about a friend.”

  She was trying to comfort him, despite everything. That was simply the woman she was. How the hell was he supposed to resist her?

  “I left and went to the grocery store. On my way back home, I saw smoke and flames pouring out of the upper windows, where they had been. I called in for help, reporting there might be people inside. The dispatcher told me it would be at least eight minutes before the first engine could reach the scene and I was afraid that would be too late. I knew I had to go look. If she...if they were both stoned, they might not wake up. I should have waited for the engine, but I couldn’t stand by.”

  He could so vividly remember the heat and the flames and the fear as he had tried to explain to the dispatcher that he thought people might have been in there earlier.

  After waiting a few minutes, he couldn’t stand by another second. He had hung up, had poured water on his T-shirt and had rushed inside, using all the training he’d picked up along the way as a junior EMT and first responder, which hadn’t been nearly enough.

  He had made his way upstairs through the heat, calling out without an answer. In a very short time, he knew the house was empty and that he’d risked his life for nothing. Then he heard Steve Harper call his name.

  “I was sick that Steve had come in after me. I yelled at him that I couldn’t see or hear anyone else, that I thought the building was clear. We were both on our way out when...when it happened.”

  He still had nightmares about it, still sometimes cried out in his sleep until he was hoarse, begging Steve to go back.

  She looked pale and he could see her knuckles were white where she clutched them together. He didn’t want to tell her but she deserved to know the truth. It seemed wrong to keep it from her, especially with these growing feelings between them.

  “By then the stairs were on fire. He yelled at me to go down first, probably worried it wouldn’t hold both of us. I made it, barely. As soon as I reached the bottom, he started down, but he only took a few steps before...”

  “Before the stairs collapsed.”

  She said the words flatly, without emotion, though he could see the stark grief in her eyes and had to grip his hands tightly at his sides to keep from reaching for her. Not yet, until he finished.

  “The ceiling above gave way first and the weight of that collapsed the stairs. Your dad... I saw the beam hit him as he went down.”

  “You pulled him out.”

  “I couldn’t leave him there. He shouldn’t have been inside in the first place. That’s on me and I’ve had to live with it all these years. He would never have gone inside without gear, if he hadn’t seen me run in or heard the report there might be people inside. And it was all for nothing. She...my friend wasn’t even there anymore.”

  “You didn’t know that at the time.”

  “If I hadn’t called it in, he wouldn’t have responded. And he would still be here.”

  “Someone else would have,” she said.

  Yes. Someone else might have reported it, but maybe they wouldn’t have been foolish enough to say they thought someone might be inside.

  His office was quiet. He knew the fund-raiser would be wrapping up soon, that he should be out in the bay talking to people and thanking them for coming. Right now, that seemed a world away. He was back in the past, trying to resuscitate a man he respected and admired.

  “Your friend. The one you tried to save.”

  He braced himself, knowing somehow what was coming next.

  “It was Natalie, wasn’t it?”

  Of course she would guess. What other conclusion would she arrive at?

  He wanted to lie but, again, he was lousy at it. Yet how could he give her one more reason to resent Nat and her terrible, pain-fueled choices?

  “Does it matter? It was a long time ago.”

  “Yes, it matters. It was Natalie. Oh, Cooper. You were trying to save my sister.”

  She wept then, as he had feared she would. Now he couldn’t help but reach for her, though he was half-afraid she would push him away. She should despise him for what he had done. She should not want anything more to do with him. Instead, she burrowed into him, sobbing quietly, her shoulders shaking, and he could do nothing but hold her.

  30

  OLIVIA

  She couldn’t seem to breathe as emotions tumbled through her. Anger, hurt, horror. Grief.

  “Did she...set the fire?”

  “Not on purpose. I don’t think she even realized until after the fire that she had left a candle burning, one that ended up finding fuel in old newspapers others had left behind.”

  “She never said a word.”

  “The guilt and the pain chewed her up inside. She hated herself even more after that. So she self-medicated with more booze, more drugs, more men. Anything to help her forget.”

  So many things about her sister began to make sense, finally, after all this time. Natalie had gone crazy after Steve died, not following any of Juliet’s feeble rules. She had stopped going to school her senior year, had spent her days sleeping and her nights partying.

  “Why didn’t she tell Mom? She would have put her in counseling to help her see it was...was an accident.”

  “I don’t have a good answer to that. I think she was afraid of facing you and your mom with what she had done. So she ended up making everything worse.”

  His words came back to her, about looking for a friend who had been suicidal. That had been Nat? “Wait. You said she was depressed and even suicidal before the fire. Why? What happened?”

  He eased away from her, sitting on the edge of the desk, his features dark and troubled.

  “Earlier that summer, Nat had sneaked out of the house to go to a beach party with some tourists, including a college kid she really liked. She drank more than she should have and...she was sexually assaulted by this guy she liked and one of his friends. It was her first time.”

  She was going to throw up. She couldn’t bear it, thinking of her sister feeling helpless and afraid. “Oh, Nat,” she whispered.

  “I figured out pretty quickly that something was wrong and pushed and pushed until she finally told me what had happened. I tried like hell to convince her to press charges but she couldn’t accept that it wasn’t her fault. She said she shouldn’t have been there that night and it had been her choice to drink too much. She thought your mom and dad would hate her when they found out.”

  She closed her eyes, unable to imagine the pain her sister must have carried by herself.

  Not by herself, she corrected. Cooper had been there for her. She held on tightly to him, feeling the tension in his muscles. He had carried Natalie’s pain, too, all this time.

  “I should have been a better sister,” she said. “I should have seen she was hurting.”

  “Hey, you can’t blame yourself. You were just a kid. You couldn’t have known what was in her head. What were you, thirteen when your dad died?”

  “Almost. He died the night before my thirteenth birthday.”

  He looked at her, shock and dismay in his eyes. “I never realized that. Oh, babe. I’m so sorry.”

  “We were at dinner, just the two of us, when he got the call. Dad always liked to take us out on our birthday eve. Just us. We would all do something together as a family on our actual birthday, but Dad would say it was his last chance to hang out with us before we turned a year older. He could be such a dork.”

  She rested her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and remembering. “He got the call in the middle of dinner about a fire with possible juveniles inside. We were right there, just down the street. I begged him not to go, but he said he had to and he would be right back.”

  A sob welled up at the memories flooding back. “I yelled at him as he was leaving and told hi
m I hated that I never came first. He kissed the top of my head and said I always came first, that he loved me to the stars and back, but someone needed help, so he had to go. I wouldn’t say ‘I love you’ back. I was so mad at him for leaving. I didn’t tell him I loved him.”

  She was unable to hold back the sob now or the one after it. Cooper’s arms tightened around her. “He knew, Liv. I never knew a man who loved his family as much as Steve Harper did.”

  She knew it was true. He loved her. No matter what. He would have loved Natalie, too, and would have grieved if she had told him what had happened to her. He and Juliet would have told her over and over it wasn’t her fault and would have tried to persuade her to file charges against the boy who had attacked her.

  Her father would never have been ashamed of Natalie. Neither would Juliet. They would have loved and supported her and tried to get her help. If only she had turned to them, instead of traveling through her pain alone. So much heartache could have been avoided.

  Cooper held her for a long time, until all the tears were gone and she was left feeling an odd sense of relief. She had known there were things yet to learn about her father’s death. Discovering the truth didn’t ease the pain, but it did give her a new perspective, as well as compassion for Cooper, who had carried this alone all these years.

  “Thank you for telling me the truth. I know you didn’t want to.”

  “I didn’t want to cause you more pain. And, I guess selfishly, I didn’t want you to hate me for the part I played.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Cooper. None of it. You were trying to protect Natalie when you ran into that building, and you have been trying to protect her all these years by keeping the truth about her involvement to yourself.”

  “I wish I could have helped her.”

  “We all do.”

  They stood wrapped together for a long time. She didn’t want to move because she knew that when she did, she was going to have to face the difficult truth that she was in love with Cooper and that she had been forever.

  Sometime later, the mood between them shifted as the pain and sorrow began to recede, and she became aware of the heat of him against her, of his heart beating in time with hers.