His Heart

by Laney Powell

  I’d been unsure when I first came here whether I’d fit into what was so clearly a family affair. The three of them were close, and they liked each other. But they’d welcomed me, and if I didn’t quite feel like family, I didn’t feel like the weird neighbor with the pity invite for dinner, either.

  Tearing apart the slats in the stall allowed me to work off some of the frustration I felt about not getting to finish what Carissa and I started. It didn’t do shit for the idea that I shouldn’t be starting anything with her, because she deserved better.

  That didn’t do a damn thing to tamp down how much I wanted her. How fucking fantastic she felt in my arms. How watching her arch toward me when I slid a finger inside of her had nearly made me come.

  Damn it.

  With a bang, I hit the last nail, and began to clean up my work. Barton, Pris’ favorite horse, poked his head out of the stall next to me. “I’m coming,” I said. “We’ll have a complete beauty session.” He shook his head as I walked away to put the tools back in the barn shed.

  That was something else I’d discovered—I liked talking to the horses. As I worked my way through all eight, I kept going over this thing with Carissa around and round in my head, and getting nowhere. Finally, all eight horses were looking good, and I went up to the house for dinner.

  “Hey,” Axel said as I came in. He was chopping something, and Pris stood at the stove.

  “Got you to do her chores, huh?” Freeze, sitting at the counter with a beer, asked.

  “In exchange for cooking? Come on, man. You know better than to try to argue with that.”

  Freeze laughed, ending in a small wheeze. I looked at him carefully, all while trying not to look at him carefully. Axel had told me about his cancer. He was in remission, but the guy was in his seventies. Pris and Axel let him do his own thing, but I could tell that they looked at him carefully, too, when they thought he wasn’t looking. It wasn’t hard to fall into the same pattern.

  “Well, maybe you’re smarter than me, son,” Freeze said. “Or maybe I’m just too old and ornery.”

  “Oh, that’s definitely what it is,” Pris said from the stove without turning around.

  Everyone, even Freeze, laughed. Dinner was delicious, and I did the dishes as Axel and Pris drifted away together. Freeze watched them go.

  “I’m lucky he came back,” he said, his face serious. “Damn glad he did, too. But lucky. Lucky the IED didn’t kill him.”

  I only nodded. I’d known a number of guys who weren’t so lucky.

  “Pris is the best thing that ever happened to us,” Freeze continued. “She pulled it all together, and that’s not easy with me and Axel.”

  “Really?” I asked mockingly.

  “I know it’s a complete surprise,” Freeze said, his eyes glinting. “But we aren’t the easiest pair.”

  “Freeze, are you trying to kill me? Because it’s coming close, with me trying to keep a straight face.”

  He laughed. “Well, I’m off to bed. I need my beauty rest.” He clumped down the hallway.

  I made sure he got to his room before leaving and walking back to my cabin. The moon was out, and the sky was clear. I loved this part of the country. I could see myself staying here.

  Then I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about next month, or even next week, unless Carissa was in it. And even that had issues—but I stopped myself again. Tonight, I wasn’t going to think about that. I was going to replay what happened today and enjoy it.

  The rest of the week was spent checking on the small herd. There weren’t many cows, according to Axel and Freeze. The ones they had were carefully selected, to hopefully breed the kinds of bulls wanted for the rodeo. Personally, I thought there were plenty of cows, but I didn’t say a word. I was happy to be outside, on a horse, and working again.

  Every night, I went to bed with Carissa in my thoughts. I could feel her in my arms, next to me, the silk of her skin. I wanted to feel her again, without the interruptions this time. I knew she’d be back here to continue to go over Freeze’s books.

  When I came into dinner one night, Axel, Pris, and Freeze were talking about Carissa.

  “I don’t know why you won’t do the books,” Axel said to Pris. “If we can’t find anyone, and they need—"

  “With what time?” She turned around to glare at him from the counter, hands on her hips.

  “Well, we could—”

  “Oh, no,” Pris said. “We can’t do a thing. I know what that ‘we’ means, Axel Buckley!”

  “I like her,” Freeze said. “She does a good job. I went over what she did last week, and she’s good at her job. She’s a forensic accountant.”

  “A what?” I asked, sitting down at the table with Freeze. She’d mentioned accounting for a law firm, but I didn’t remember this part of it. Which was weird, because I remembered everything about her.

  “She works for some law office, finds out where people are hiding their money,” Freeze answered.

  “She’s not going to find anything about you, will she?” Axel looked at his grandfather, alarmed.

  “No. Other than maybe some sloppy records. Which she’s already found and told me about. Rather sternly, too.”

  Axel, Pris and I all laughed.

  I resolved to stay far the hell away from the house when she came here next. No matter how she haunted my dreams.

  Chapter Ten

  Carissa

  After Gran’s snarky remark, I fled to my room off the living room, shutting the door behind me. Could I get any more embarrassed? I couldn’t believe she’d said that to me! My face burned. Busted by my grandmother.

  I dawdled in my room, knowing I had to face dinner with her. Finally, after making sure my bra was on, and I didn’t look like a tomato, I went out to the kitchen.

  “What are we having?” I asked.

  Gran looked up from where she was chopping vegetables. “I thought a salad and some chicken would be nice. It’s hot, and I’m not really in the mood for anything heavy.” She eyed me sharply but didn’t say anything else as she went back to chopping.

  “I’ll start the chicken then,” I said. Pulling it from the fridge, I got out the skillet. When I’d come here in the summer to stay with her, my parents being supremely uninterested in having me around all summer, Gran had taught me to cook. She loved cast iron skillets and had attempted to pass that on to me. I could use the skillet, and all the other things in the kitchen, but I didn’t love it the way she did. It wasn’t intuitive. Nevertheless, I could make enough so that I didn’t starve. But I was honest enough to know that I did better helping someone else cook.

  We worked together in silence for a bit, and when Gran finished the salad, she spoke as she was washing her hands. “Where are you going to go when you’ve gotten me all settled, Carissa?”

  “Huh?” I looked up from the skillet. “Oh, I don’t know. I suppose I need to start looking.”

  “You can’t stay with your landlord?”

  I shook my head. “He was pretty convinced the guys looking for Stephen were really bad, and that I wasn’t safe.”

  “He sounds like a nice man.”

  “He is,” I agreed. “He didn’t have to do that for me, but he said we’ve been good tenants, and he wouldn’t want to see his daughter caught up in this kind of thing with no one to warn her.”

  Gran made a noise that I couldn’t decipher. “Are you sure it’s safe to go back there?”

  “It will be if I don’t go back to our place,” I said, and I felt the anger sweep over me again. I was trying to let it go, but I wanted to kick the living shit out of Stephen. How dare he expose me to this? And then send me shitty texts? I was glad I’d blocked him, even as it scared me to do it.

  The nagging feeling that I should have seen it coming also came back around. Was my sense of seeing reality that off when I was in love?

  I needed to stay out of love. But what do I do when I come here but fall into some guy’s arms? Although the arms were v
ery nice, as was the chest, and abs, and hands, and mouth… I stopped my train of thoughts. I could feel my face heating up again. Gran was being kind and not bringing it up, and I didn’t want to give her any reason to.

  “You know, you could just go somewhere else,” Gran said carefully.

  “Like where? My life is there. My job is there. My—” I stopped. I’d been about to say ‘My boyfriend,’, but that wasn’t true any longer. I sighed. “I need to be there, Gran.”

  “Isn’t your job letting you work remotely?” Gran asked.

  “Yeah, during my vacation,” I rolled my eyes. “My boss is pathetic about letting me have a vacation, but at least I can pay for a place.”

  “Are you going to rent, or buy something?”

  I sighed. “We were saving for a house—”

  “Good thing you didn’t make it that far,” Gran interrupted.

  “But I don’t know if I want to right now. Houses are really expensive there. So is rent.”

  “Does your law office have other offices? Somewhere else you could go that wouldn’t be so expensive?”

  “No, just in San Diego,” I replied.

  “Seems they could give you a good reference, get you settled somewhere else, if you were to ask.”

  “What are you getting at, Gran?” I turned to look at her.

  “I’m worried for you. I don’t think you should go back.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I refused to think about her concern. Once I moved and didn’t list my address—they wouldn’t bother me. It was Stephen’s problem, not mine.

  She made another noise but didn’t say anything. We brought the salad and chicken to the table and talked about her plans for the rest of the week.

  And boy, did we stick to them. Gran wanted to get her things moved into the smaller condo she’d bought in a senior apartment building. Who knew that Paulson had them? But it did. She was tired of the yard work, and all the things that went along with taking care of a house.

  I got it, although it made me sad. I helped her move in, and then it was Saturday, and time for her estate sale. We took up our posts out in the garage, and when she opened the door, there were already people waiting. I had to laugh. Gran knew all of them.

  “Is this what you do?” I whispered later that day. “Just go to others’ yard sales and trade stuff?”

  “Hush,” Gran said.

  Sunday was more of the same, and after lunch, Freeze came into the garage, with Pris. A moment later, Jensen and Axel followed them.

  “Figured I’d see what you had,” Freeze said to Gran. “Although it’s probably overpriced.”

  “Be quiet, old man,” Pris said. “Mrs. Webber, I’m sorry he’s so rude.” She leaned close to Gran and said in a loud whisper, “He’s old.”

  Everyone laughed, even Freeze.

  “What are you looking for?” Gran asked.

  “Whatever catches my eye,” Freeze winked. “We’re just passing through. I brought along the muscle for the feed store, and then we had lunch.” He and Gran moved off, still sparring. Pris took Axel’s hand, pulling him to the tables where we’d put household items, and that left me standing with Jensen.

  “Hi,” I said, feeling shy. And damn it, my face was hot. Again. I wish I had control over this. I hadn’t blushed so much since I was a kid.

  “It’s good to see you,” Jensen’s voice was quiet, and low, and it sent a thrill through every part of my body.

  “You, too,” I said.

  There was a silence, and then he asked, “How are you?”

  I realized Jensen was as awkward as I was. Oh, God, what if he wanted to get away? I looked up, and he was looking down, the toe of his boot scuffing against the concrete.

  “Busy,” I said brightly. “We got Gran moved in, and now it’s just cleaning out this place.”

  “Is she going to sell?” Jensen asked.

  I nodded. “I think so.”

  Another awkward silence. We’d talked so easily when we had lunch last week together out at the ranch. Oh, God. He wasn’t interested anymore. Or he thought it was a mistake. “Well, I’d better go, make sure everyone is… “My words faded as I stepped away.

  After that, I stayed away. It was obvious that Gran and Freeze were good friends, even if she hadn’t told me how close she’d been to his wife. She laughed in a way that I hadn’t seen her laugh since I’d been here. I supposed that moving your entire life wasn’t exactly something to laugh over.

  Axel came up to me with some tools and odds and ends, and Pris and I chatted as he paid me. Jensen was in the background, taking up the tools silently, and walking out of the garage.

  Before he disappeared, he looked over his shoulder. Right at me. And it was though time stopped. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and desire pool between my legs.

  Then he disappeared, and I blinked.

  Jesus. That kind of look from one Jensen Briggs needed to come with a warning, or something. And an instruction card. Because I didn’t have a clue about what just happened.

  Pris waved goodbye to me, and then they were gone. Gran came over to me.

  “They’re a good family,” she said. “I’m so glad that Axel and Pris decided to stay with Freeze. It would have broken his heart to leave the ranch.”

  I grabbed her hand. “Gran, are you trying to tell me you don’t want to leave?”

  She laughed, putting her other arm around me. “No, honey, not at all. I love my house, but I’m ready to stop taking care of it. I want to laze about, read, travel, and not have to worry about the house.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Well, it’s a bit late. We’ve sold off or given away half the house,” Gran said with a grin.

  “Those are small details,” I insisted.

  “Thank you for asking, but no, I’m fine,” she said.

  We finished up for the day. Thankfully, Gran had sold most of the stuff we’d dragged out here. The local veterans’ charity would be out tomorrow to pick up the rest. We bagged it up so that it would be easy for them to take it away and then went inside.

  I showered, remembering the feel of Jensen’s hands on my skin, slightly rough, the texture making chills run across my body. My nipples hardened at the thought of him.

  Stop it, I told myself. Just stop it.

  After a late dinner the phone rang. When Gran answered it, she came out of the kitchen holding the receiver. “It’s for you, Carissa.”

  It was Freeze. “Listen, girly, there’s a slight change of plans for this week,” he said.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jensen

  I couldn’t make out what was up with Carissa when I’d seen her at her grandmother’s sale. She’d been shy, and if I’d seen correctly, doing a lot of blushing.

  But she wouldn’t look at me. I’d managed to make eye contact with her before I left—to what end, I wasn’t sure. It was hard to talk with her with Freeze not missing a thing. Pris was pretty observant, too. I didn’t need them knowing I’d nearly slept with the granddaughter of their friend. Well, maybe it wouldn’t have gone there, but somewhere close.

  For the next two days, I did my chores in relative silence. I couldn’t get Carissa out of my mind, and I couldn’t stop thinking that I needed to stop thinking about her. I was older, and no good for her.

  After lunch on Tuesday, I heard a car coming down the drive toward the house. I walked to the door of the barn to look out, and saw Carissa getting out. Quickly, before she saw me, I ducked back into the barn. I hadn’t come to any solution to the ‘I want her, I shouldn’t want her’ argument going on in my head.

  However, I didn’t move fast enough to miss the sight of her hair blowing in the wind, or her ass walking away from me in jeans, and I cursed my traitorous anatomy that didn’t give a single fuck about my circular argument.

  It struck me then that this sort of shit was why I was happy to be part of a SEAL team. Focus on the mission and spend a lot of time not worrying about emotions. It was all about get the
job done. I stopped, pitchfork in hand, struck by a thought. Maybe Pammy had known that, too. That I was better away from home for long periods of time, and there was no way I could be landlocked, and in a regular relationship.

  Holy shit. While I shook my head to clear it, the thought remained. What if that’s what she meant by not wanting to be with an ex-SEAL? Was I more fucked than even I realized?

  How long I stood there with my mouth hanging open, I didn’t know. But I nearly jumped a foot high when Axel came in. “You all right, man?”

  “What?”

  Axel smiled. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I am. Just lost in thought for a minute.”

  “Clearly. You want to head out with me for a bit?” He gestured to the horses.

  “Sure, yeah.”

  We saddled the horses and headed south along the river. The herd had moved in the last few days, and Axel liked to check on them. He was like a mother hen, but I understood. This was a fairly new venture, only a year or two old, from all the conversation I heard.

  “The numbers looking okay?” I asked after we’d been riding for a bit.

  He nodded, his eyes meeting mine from under his hat. “Yeah, they are. But Carissa was giving Granddad hell this morning because she said that he’s a new business, and he needs to be more precise with his accounting.”

  I laughed. “How’d he take that?”

  “Surprisingly well. He doesn’t mind people who know what they’re talking about telling him how to do things the right way. We’re going to have to find someone to do this regularly. None of us are great with the books. There’s a lot of organization,” he grimaced. “Not my strong point.”

  “I get it,” I said.

  “I figure by the time she leaves tomorrow Carissa will have things sorted. I’m hoping she finds us an accountant who will also take on being the bookkeeper.”

  “It’s that bad that Carissa has to stay the night?” I asked, hoping my voice didn’t give anything away.