“Funny, I’ve thought similar things about you, and if you hurt my sister or my girl, I’ll make them all reality.”
This makes Ellis laugh and he leans back in the chair. He runs his fingers through his short, messy hair and takes his time assessing Leo.
“If you didn’t kill my brother, and we weren’t from opposing clubs, we could’ve been good friends.”
Shaking his head, Leo mumbles, “Fucking doubt that.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Anyways, I thought I’d tell you about the man you took from me.”
“You really don’t need to, if I had to do it again, I’d still shoot the shit out of him. He could have been anyone standing in my way getting to my girl, so I really don’t care to know anything about him.”
Oh, Leo, please shut your mouth. He told me to stone over, why is he antagonising him.
“He was more than a brother to me…”
“Incest is illegal, you know,” Leo chuckles and the sound of Ellis’s backhand connecting with Leo’s face echoes between my ears. Leo barely flinches.
“He would look out for me when we were kids, our daddy wasn’t a nice man and took his anger out on us. Roman would take the beatings and he made sure he took the lot when it came to this shitty world.”
“Boo-fucking-hoo. My dad is a fucking legend, never raised a hand to me or my brother. I won’t be blamed for you having daddy issues.”
“I’m not blaming you for that, but a lot of people will blame you for the deeds I’m about to commit. You see, it was Roman who kept me on a tight leash and without my brother here, I’m free to do what I want, and I’m starting with my revenge on you.”
Leo gives nothing away to how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking and believe me, I’m watching his every move. I’m waiting for a facial tick, a tense of the jaw, anything that gives away a reaction. It’s infuriating Ellis as he leans in close and maintains eye contact.
“You think you’re unbreakable, but you’re not. Everyone can be broken, it’s just a matter of how it’ll be done. Trust me, I’m going to enjoy watching you shatter.”
The men enter a stare off and silence rings loud around them, until Leo says, “I came here ready to die, so you prolonging it just gives me more time than I thought I’d have.”
I’m silently begging Leo to look over at me, but he’s so focused on Ellis not even the grunts and groans from the brothers is deterring him.
“Is that what you think?” Ellis smirks and it sends a chill deep into my bones. “You’ve probably got everything you’ve ever asked for, haven’t you? Daddy is the Lost Souls President, a loving mom who runs around after you, you got the girl nice and young, probably bent her to your liking.”
“Hey!”
He doesn’t know anything about our relationship. Leo finally looks at me, and it’s to scowl. Great. I’m the one Ellis talking about and I’m the one he’s angry at.
“I’m my own person,” I tell him, just to make sure everyone knows. Adrenaline spikes and my mouth doesn’t shut.
“I think it’s pathetic you had to have your brother hold your hand to keep you out of trouble, are you incapable of understanding right from wrong?”
He moves in a flash and before I can blink, he’s in my face and his eyes pin me in place. It’s almost like the chill I had moments ago is now setting to a deep freeze and ice is lacing up my veins.
“Right from wrong? You’re patronising me over my behaviour when your fiancé shot my brother dead just because he couldn’t wait while the men spoke?”
Spit hits my cheek as he rants so close to my face and I refrain from cringing.
“Because he had to get to you, my brother had to die, he-” he yells loudly, pointing his finger over at Leo, “fucking killed a man to save a few moments of time, to get to you. So, as he took something from me, I’m going to take something from him.”
It only takes a beat for my heart to stop, and my mouth to go dry. Another beat passes and my brother is leaping up to his feet. Another beat and Leo is shoving against the Crow’s standing at his sides.
Everything is happening around me in flashes but all I can see clearly is Ellis.
“All this time I’ve been playing out his death in my head, when all along I should have been playing out yours.”
Another beat, and he’s wrapping his arm around my neck and pulling me flush against him.
Another beat, and he’s pressing his gun to the side of my head.
No. No. No.
“You want me, and you’ve got me. Let her go!” Leo roars running towards us.
Another two Crow’s appear from nowhere and knock him to the ground. They are using all their might to keep him away from us, and it’s working, they’re overpowering him.
Leo wanting me to remain stoned over is wavering. I’m not that strong and my fear is spiking by the second. It’s taking everything I have to stay on my feet. My knees desperately want to buckle, the little food I had yesterday wants to make a reappearance and I want to cry out.
As Zach fights with one Crow, the twins fight another three, the bar has turned into a free for all and Ellis is loving it. We’re the only ones not moving. A third Crow runs out from behind the bar is now helping to hold Leo down.
“This is all on him. You think he loves you? Why isn’t he doing everything he can to get to you now?”
I tune out his goading. I’m not stupid, I know Leo is strong but when it’s three on one, he’s not superman.
“I was quite surprised when I decided to let him live, I wonder, how long will it take for him to get over you? Who will your little girl be calling mommy when she learns to speak?”
“Don’t listen to him, Indie,” Leo yells.
“Someone like Leo Jackson won’t be alone for long, and how long will he last when I’m still hunting him down? I’m going to give him time to drown in the pain I’m about to inflict on him and then I’m going to leave your baby an orphan.”
A sob racks through my body and a huge tear falls free. He pushes the gun harder against my head and it strains on my neck.
“Have you ever wondered how you will die, India?” he whispers in my ear and I choke on the air in my lungs.
“Did you think it would be because of Leo Jackson?”
I don’t answer his questions. I keep quiet, scared to utter a single word.
I’ve never wondered how I would die, I never thought my death would be down to Leo. I’d always hoped to die peacefully in my sleep as an old lady with Leo beside me, holding my hand. I knew death was coming for us and now it’s here, I’m gagging on the last few breaths I get to take.
Ellis yanks on my hair, and I continue to block out his whispers and threats. My eyes fall on my mom, all my aunts that have been there for me my whole life, friends and brothers, and finally, on Leo.
Maybe I should have known I’d die young, and it would be because of him, but if knowing this, I’d still have fallen head over heels in love with him. I would still have had his baby, I would still say yes when he proposed. I wouldn’t change anything.
As a tear falls from his eye, mine dry up. A sense of strength washes over me and I manage to mouth I love you to him before Ellis’s hand snakes around face and grips onto my chin.
“Look at her, Leo. Look into her eyes as I fuckin’ kill her.”
“Don’t! I’ll do anything, just let her go. Do whatever you want to me, not her. Cut me open and gut me, draw my death for as long as you can, but not her.”
A soft chuckle makes it through the violence in the bar and my knees finally give out.
“Oh no, you don’t, sweetheart. Stay on your feet.” He heaves me back up to his side and it doesn’t help my strength.
You know those nightmares where you know how to get to safety, but you can’t move. Or you’re running but not actually going anywhere? That’s how I feel now.
“Say goodbye.”
“Please,” I cry out.
“Sorry, babe. There’s only one
woman I listen to, and only then I listen to what I want to hear,” he chuckles close to my ear.
“You’re a means to an end, and unfortunately this is your end.”
I can’t bear to see Leo being held down with someone’s boot squashing his head to the floor. I can’t watch my mom being held by the dirty Crow as she screams for me and I don’t want to see the look on my brother’s face.
I close my eyes and I picture my little girl. Her chubby little arms and thighs. Her smile, full of gums and no teeth. All her new hair beginning to grow longer every day. The sound of her gurgles as she talks away in her own little language. I used to think perfection didn’t exist, but the night Rayna was born I realised how wrong I was. Together, Leo and I made her and somehow, we made an angel. The pain coursing through me isn’t for my life being taken from me, it’s for all the moments I will miss if he pulls the trigger.
Her first steps, her first birthday, her first words. When she’s older, I won’t be around to offer her advice and see her off to prom. I won’t ever know her personality, what she likes, what she doesn’t. I won’t know what scares her and what makes her strong. My heart is screaming to be with her and for Leo to be holding us.
I keep her dark, muddy brown eyes, her daddy’s eyes, in my mind and try not to drown in the drumming of my heart beat. Boom. Boom. Boom.
In my head, I’m picking her up out of her crib and I’m holding her so tight I’m afraid I’ll hurt her and then I…
Leo
The shot echoes around the bar, but it’s her body that makes the loudest noise as she slumps to the floor.
Everything changes in a matter of seconds. There is no pressure on my body and I fly up to my feet. As I run to her, my legs are heavy, and I feel like I’m never going to make it to her. She’s not dead. She can’t be. The blood pooling around her head is an illusion, a figment of my imagination. It isn’t real.
Any minute now she’s going to roll over and sit up, rub her head and let me hold her. With every step I take, the more blood and skull I see around her. Please, please, please, let it be a figment of my over worked imagination.
Only, when I reach her, her eyes are closed, and the blood is real and so is the hole in the side of her head.
A pressure builds up in my chest and I ignore it as I drop to my knees and scoop her up in my arms. She’s limp and her arm falls limply to her side.
My hand shoots out to pick it up but flashes of red hit me. Her blood. My hand is covered in her fucking blood.
An animalistic noise fills my ears and it takes for Kristen running over and dropping beside me to realise the noise is coming from me.
It confuses me when she leans into me, I almost think she’s trying to wrap her arms around me, but then it becomes real clear she’s trying to take India from me.
I hold onto her tighter, no one is taking her from me. I don’t care that she’s her mother.
Leaning over, I rest my head on her cheek and I block out the wetness seeping against my skin.
“No, no, no. Please open your eyes.”
The words pour from my mouth but I know she isn’t going to answer. My own tears begin to mix with her blood, and I stroke the hair matting to her forehead away so I can see the whole of her face.
Sitting up, I take in the scene around us and like the last twelve hours didn’t happen, most of the bar is empty, apart from a few Lost Souls tending to their wounds. I meet Zachery’s eye and he’s frozen, Nina holding onto him, offering support he isn’t soaking in.
His eyes are dry, and his mouth is closed. There is nothing coming from him seeing his sister dead in my arms. It strikes a cord in me and pisses me off.
“Leo, give her to me,” Kristen sobs and latches onto India’s hand.
I look back to Zach and he’s gone, in fact there is no one around now. Just Kristen, me and India.
Another tear falls and lands on her cheek. The hole in her head is hidden by my body, Kristen can’t see what is going to give her nightmares to the day she dies herself.
If I knew holding her this morning was going to be the last time, I wouldn’t have let her go. I was so consumed with my hatred for Ellis, and my ego couldn’t accept I would let anything happen to her, it ended with her losing her life.
“I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.”
Kristen’s cries and sobs rack through my body and I can’t stand her hurt as well as my own. Still, I can’t let go of my woman and hand her over to her mother.
The bar becomes a blur of movement and I lean over and press my lips to her forehead. Another burst of pain fills my ears and then Slade fills my view. His hands shake as he shakily pats down India’s face and arms.
“No-no-no, wake up, princess. Come on, we’re here now,” he pleads, his voice catching on every word.
The bar is full and it’s when Slade breaks down, I gently hand her over to him. I can’t see or hear his pain. My own is enough. I stumble as I drag myself up and everything becomes clear. Everyone is pale, silent and watching me.
The bar door bangs open, slamming against the wall and JJ flies through, searching for me.
I expected this the moment Harper popped up in the back seat of my truck. I don’t move as he runs towards me and clenches his fists around my leather.
My legs support me without me having to try and stand as he shoves me against the bar.
“Where is she?” he yells but I can’t speak.
I don’t even bother trying to open my mouth to respond.
“I know you, and I know her, I know neither of you would have needed much persuading to go behind my fucking back. Next time India wants to put herself in danger, I’ll take her with me to meet the fucking devil.”
“She’s already been there,” I choke out and jerk my chin at her in Slade and Kristen’s arms. Their cries open his eyes and I close mine and wait for him to take notice of the scene around him, but I can’t watch the moment he reacts.
“Oh my fuck,” he breathes, and it hits my heart. “She’s…”
I’m fucking glad he doesn’t finish that sentence, I know what she is. Hearing it is not something I can process.
“Where the fuck is Harper?” he asks, searching the bar.
“She’s gone,” Zach calls out, walking down the stairs with Nina at his back.
JJ’s chest deflates and I understand his fear. Ellis isn’t just capable of shooting brothers wearing the patch, he’s capable of anything and no one is safe.
“Then we need to fucking find her. Now!”
“She’s obviously with Ellis, he had her all night and he disappeared quick after India went down.”
I hear Mason talking, I see him in my peripheral vision but it’s my girl I can’t look away from.
I can’t take this.
The women slowly edge their way over and their cries begin to drown me. I’m suffocating and I don’t care if I never breathe again.
Slade rises with India in his arms and Kristen stays close to them until her eyes lock with mine.
“This is your fault. You did this!” she screams, storming towards me.
Her hand flies through the air and lands across my cheek. I barely register the sting and I stand there and take it. I even take the second and third. It’s not until Zach wraps his arms around her and pulls her back that I feel the heat on my skin.
“I will never forgive you for this, she should be at college, and now…”
Her sobs echo around the bar and then Luca is in my face. I see his hand wrap around my upper arm, but I don’t feel it. I see his lips move but I don’t hear what he’s saying.
“I wish he had shot you, it was you he was here for, not my sweet daughter,” she cries.
“I wish that too, Kristen,” I roar.
Does she honestly think I wouldn’t trade places with her daughter, she was the only reason I came back here last night, prepared to die to save her.
I should have known he wouldn’t do what I expected.
“I fucking wish
that too,” I sigh.
“Okay, enough,” Luca yells, and shoves at me until I’m walking up the stairs.
As soon as I step through the door to my room here, I smell her perfume, I smell my baby girls’ baby smell. It’s faint but it’s here.
I turn and bang straight into my brother. He matches me chin to chin. Why am I thinking about this shit now?
“I need to find Ellis,” I croak out.
“No, you need to change and go be with India.”
India needs me to go and kill the man who killed her, she doesn’t need me sitting at her side when I can’t do a fucking thing to bring her back.
Bring her back. Nothing I can do.
It sinks in and I go into lock down.
“Leo? You need to shower, you’re covered in her blood.”
My younger brother’s emotionless stance usually annoys the shit out of me, but right now, it’s perfect. I don’t need anyone else’s feelings surrounding me.
“I don’t think I can move,” I admit.
Nodding, he moves around me and walks into my bathroom. The water comes on and then he’s in front of me again.
In the blink of an eye, my cut is lying on the bed. My sweater is in a pile on the floor. Silently, he unbuckles my belt and my jeans fall to my ankles.
“You’re gonna have to help me out here, brother. The shower is ready for you, get in and I’ll get you fresh clothes out.”
This jumped up little prick has been an annoyance in my side since we were kids, but right now, I’m glad he’s my blood brother and he’s here for me.
I blink and I’m standing under the spray of hot water. It pounds against the top of my head and while it normally relaxes me, today I’m numb as fuck.
I make the mistake of looking down, the water pools red around my feet.
I rush to the toilet and flip the lid just in time to hurl my guts up. Her blood is crusted around my nails. It’s in every pore I look at.
Just as I begin to think it’s strange I haven’t shed a tear, they come. They come hard and fast. Slamming the side of my fist against the tiles, it does nothing but cause the tile to crack. I stumble on to my ass and back into the shower. Bringing my legs up to my chest, I grind my eyes into my knees and let it all out.
His One Regret: Sons Of Lost Souls MC Book Four Page 7