The First 100 Kisses

by Danielle Bannister

  “Chloe,” Liam gasped. His eyes wide as he took in my very naked body.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “We can both get pleasure this way.”

  I released his cock then and held onto my breasts instead, brushing my thumbs against my nipples, bringing them to instant peaks. Squeezing my breasts together, I lowered them around his penis. His eyes bulged as his cock disappeared into the space between my breasts. Though I was not as large as Angel, I still had enough breast tissue to do this beloved move. I moved myself up and down, slowly, the tip of him poking out from the top mounds of my breasts before it disappeared again.

  “Holy shit,” Liam cursed. It was the first time I’d ever heard him curse in seven years. Encouraged, I continued the movement for a few more thrusts. I could tell he was close, so on the next stroke, I replaced my cleavage with my mouth, taking in all of him.

  “God!” he said, grabbing onto my hair. The sensation must have been overwhelming for him. There was no way I was going to stop now. Bobbing my head up and down on his cock, I moved my left hand to dig into his hip for balance. My right hand went to work on my clit. I was so wet.

  Plunging deeper and deeper into my mouth with each thrust. I could feel his hips rising up to meet my mouth. He was so hard and smooth around my tongue.

  My right hand worked in frantic small circles, bringing me closer and closer to the edge as I continued to blow him.

  His fingers found their way to my head, helping me move up and down against his length. He was going to cum.

  I sucked harder and pulled the hand off my clit to cup his balls, knowing that would send him over the edge.

  “God, Chloe!” he yelled, and then filled my mouth with his cum. I swallowed him down with satisfaction, knowing I’d given him a moment he was never going to forget, even after Angel took him from me. This one moment was mine and Liam’s. It felt like a victory. I was claiming a small part of him as my own. This moment. This first beautiful, vulnerable piece of him was forever mine. Angel could have him, but she couldn’t have that memory. She couldn’t take that away from me.

  Completely spent, he laid back against the couch, and finally closed his eyes. I got up and sat beside him and did what was probably one of the most stupid things I’d done to date in this entire ill-thought-out scheme of mine. I kissed him, once. Nothing wild or passionate. Just a small soft and tender moment for what we’d just shared. In retrospect, I should have just made a crass joke or slipped into the bathroom to finish myself off, but I didn’t. I was selfish and kissed him after the lesson was over.

  It was when I took my lips away from him, that I realized an awful, horrible truth about myself. Somewhere in this ridiculous experiment, I hadn’t just crushed on my best friend, I’d fallen in love with him. Like head-over-heels love. This was bad. Very, very bad.

  Chapter 16

  Looking down at my naked body curled up against Liam’s partially clothed body, I suddenly felt ashamed. I’d obliterated the line of our friendship to a point it could no longer be redrawn, and he didn’t even know it yet. There was no way for me to erase these feelings. No way for me to hide them. From this moment on, I’d act differently around him. I wouldn’t be able to help it. He’d notice, and then…things would change. He’d stop coming over for movie nights. We’d see each other less and less, until suddenly, there was nothing left but a big, gaping hole where my best friend used to be.

  I did this. I ruined it. I felt sick.

  “I’m going to hop in the shower,” I said, pulling my body from him. That was it. The last time I’d hold him…touch him. I was cutting myself off. Cold turkey. Tears welled, and I rushed to the safety of a closed door so he wouldn’t see that I just murdered our friendship.

  I grabbed my bag from his room and took it into his bathroom where I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, and then for several minutes longer. My teeth were rattling, but it was nothing compared to the dread of having to leave this room and face the truth. I loved Liam and because of that, I couldn’t help him win Angel anymore.

  Eventually, I turned off the water and stared at myself in his fogged-up mirror with a towel wrapped on my head. I kept waiting for the fog to clear, so I could see how much of a wreck I looked like, but then I decided it didn’t matter. It wasn’t going to change anything. I was numb, either from the cold or the reality of my feelings. I needed to put on clothes, but my skin was still too damp. I pulled the robe back on and opened the bathroom door. What I looked like didn’t matter. Especially to him.

  My plan had been to come out of the bathroom, feign a headache and try to curl under his covers and hide away from my feelings, but when I came out, I saw Liam was pacing.

  So much for hiding my feelings. He already knew. Or worse, he was regretting what we’d done. Not that I blamed him. I was a horrible, awful friend.

  That’s when I noticed he had his phone in his hand.

  “What happened?” I heard myself ask.

  Liam looked up at me. He almost seemed relieved to see me. It cut me like a knife. Don’t look at me like that. I don’t deserve your kindness after I took advantage of you for my own selfish needs.

  “While you were in the shower, Angel called.”

  Her name stung in my ears, but I kept up the façade of a supporting friend. Yes, Friend. He still doesn’t realize how epically you screwed this up.

  “Okay. What did she want?”

  I sat on the bed with my back to Liam, unable to look him in the eye and began towel drying my hair.

  “She has to cancel our date Friday. Her sitter bailed.”

  My heart lifted against my brain telling it to be still. “Oh, that’s horrible,” I said, hoping it came across the right way.

  “It gets worse. She wants to know if we can move it to tonight, instead. Her mom can babysit. She wants to meet at 8:00.”

  The nausea came back as I glanced at the clock. “Which means you have only a few hours to get ready.”

  “I know,” he said, coming over to me. His hands grabbed my shoulders and I resisted the urge not to look into his eyes.

  “What do I tell her?” He asked, his eyes pleading.

  I gave him a sad smile. He loved her. That much was clear. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. It was true before our sessions and it was still true now. Of course, he had changed in that time, forced himself well out of his comfort zone, learned new things about himself and about what he liked. He’d done all of this for her. He deserved this night. He’d earned it. As much as it killed me that he was going to out with her, I had to let him. He wasn’t mine to hold onto.

  “Tell her you’ll see her soon,” I cupped my hand against his cheek, applying firm pressure to help calm his anxiety. He seemed to understand what I was doing because he slowed his breath down to sync with mine.

  “You’re ready,” I said.

  “How can you be so sure?” he asked.

  “Because you have covered all the bases. Even if you don’t want to score a homerun, you now know how the game is played. She’s going to love you, Liam. I just know it.”

  “But…I haven’t had my first 100 kisses yet. I haven’t practiced nearly enough.” He latched onto my arm, still not out of his panic.

  I looked down at the floor. The old me would have suggested we finish those missing sessions, right here, right now, but that would be my needs talking, not his. Right now, he needed his friend, not a woman who didn’t want him going anywhere tonight but into the bedroom with her.

  “You got in plenty. You are more than ready.”

  I tried to shrug out of his grasp, but he held me.

  “You said you’d get me through those first 100 kisses, Chloe. I don’t think I have the tongue thing down yet. Please.”

  He was begging. Begging to kiss me. It made my knees go weak. I fought with myself. On the one hand, Liam wanted this, on the other, it meant something different for me, and as such, wasn’t fair to agree to. On the other…this would be the last time. My last mom
ents to feel his touch. Our last goodbye. I would do this one last thing for him and then I could let him go. It would be my final act of friendship.

  “Okay,” I whispered. “A few more practice kisses, with tongue, coming up.”

  I stood up, on my tiptoes to reach his lips, but he stopped me.

  “No. Here,” he said, pointing toward his kitchen island. “You were right. That is a great spot for a kiss.”

  I smiled, despite the ache in my heart.

  He helped me onto the counter and instinctively, my feet hooked around his ass. My robe fell open below the tie, but he didn’t seem to notice the fact I was literally naked against his jeans, or maybe he did and chose not to say anything.

  “I’m really nervous, Chloe,” Liam said.

  My hands reached up and held his face.

  “You’re going to do great. Hell, she may not even want to kiss you, and all of this will be for nothing.”

  Liam considered my idea. “It won’t have been for nothing Chloe. I can’t thank you enough for helping. No one has ever been this generous of themselves for me.”

  I shrugged but kept my eyes low. At some point, I’d stopped doing it for him. It was a hard reality to swallow.

  “It wasn’t a hardship. I like kissing guys.” I liked kissing you. A lot. And I’ll miss it, more than you’ll ever know.

  “Still,” he said. “It was a lot to ask of a friend.”

  Friend. The word was like a punch to the gut. Yet, it was the confirmation I needed to have drilled into my heart. The lines never blurred for him. Only me. The pain threatened to consume me. I needed a distraction.

  “Less talking, more kissing. You have a date to get ready for,” I said.

  Liam leaned in close, my eyes still couldn’t meet his, but I was acutely aware of his lips hovering just over mine.

  Try as I might to resist the desire that accompanied his other kisses, it just wasn’t possible. The second he touched my lips with his, my logical brain faded to the background. In its place was need. Pure and simple. I wanted him like I’d never wanted a man before.

  His tongue entered my mouth and I sighed in appreciation. I pulled him closer with my feet, wanting to feel every part of him against me. Against my better judgement, I moved one of his hands to my breast. I needed him to touch me, even if it was one last time.

  He did as I asked and kept his hand there, messaging me just as I taught him. The passion caused my robe to fall off my shoulder and I shrugged the fabric away.

  “Chloe,” he gasped, when he finally realized I was naked. Again. He pulled away slightly, not in shock, but as though needing to see in the full light of a late Sunday afternoon what a fully naked woman looked like.

  “Do you want me to put it back on?” I panted, glancing down at the robe on the floor.

  He shook his head slowly, as though debating his answer.

  “You’re a beautiful woman. I can see now why men fight wars over the female species.”

  He wasn’t saying it to be polite. His desire was evident in his pajamas. It would be mean to send him off to his date with a pair of blue balls. I needed to make sure he found release first, so he could approach her with a clear mind.

  “Come kiss me then,” I said. “Anywhere you want. They count as kisses too.”

  I could see him hesitating. His gaze wandered across my body, taking all of me in, landing on my breasts. A moment later, his mouth was on my nipple, sucking and pulling gently as his hand latched onto my other breast.

  I arched forward, pressing myself as close to him as I could.

  “Yes, Liam, yes. Just like that,” I panted.

  My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. Even though his hands were trembling, and he was still insecure about just how to touch me, I didn’t care. His touch was electric. It sent waves of pleasure to all the right places. Oh, how I was going to miss this. No. Don’t think about that. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy him. This is it. The last time. After this, he’ll have no need of me.

  Just then, he pulled his mouth off me. The look on his face was not good.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  He didn’t answer me for a moment as he worked to regain his normal breathing.

  “Nothing. I just—I can’t—”

  A chill fell over the room.

  “Oh.” I sat up and pulled my robe closed. Ashamed anew. “No. Right. Of course. You have to focus on your date.”

  He took several steps away from me as though in a trance. I could see in his eyes that he’d just realized how I felt about him. The real way I felt about him, and he was repelled by it.

  I hopped off the counter and quickly put my robe on, moving my hair so that it would hide my face.

  “You’ll do great.” I said, heading to his room. “I’m gonna go get changed, then go grab a bite with Stacey. Maybe hit a movie with her.” I lied. I hadn’t talked to Stacey in months. All I knew is that I had to get out of this apartment. I wasn’t quite ready to go back to my place yet after the whole Damon debacle, but maybe after a few shots I’d feel braver and could lock myself away there. One thing was for sure, I could not be here if Liam came home from his date with Angel. I literally wouldn’t be able to take that.

  “Oh…Um. Okay. I guess I should probably shower,” Liam said, his eyes still a million miles away.

  “Yes. Do that. You don’t want to go meeting the woman of your dreams smelling like some other skanky ho.”

  I shooed him off to the shower and as soon as the door closed, I ran to my overnight bag so I could get dressed and get the fuck out of here. I couldn’t see him again. Not tonight. Maybe not ever again.

  Chapter 17

  Ripping open my bag, I pulled on the first things that I found. A pair of ripped jeans, which were a pain in the ass to put on in a hurry, and a worn out Imagine Dragons T-shirt. I almost had to take it off because it reminded me of when Liam and I went together. He was so miserable. It was too loud, and I had to help him cover his ears much of the night.

  “You don’t have time for this,” I chastised myself. Walking down memory lane wasn’t about to change anything. I could burn the shirt later in effigy, for now, I needed to get out of his apartment before he got out of the shower.

  Tossing my light blue Chucks on, I stood up and flung my bag over my shoulder.

  I felt so stupid. How did I let myself fall for him? I knew from the start his heart was with Angel. It always had been and always would be. They had history. You can’t compete with that. Or with her breasts. Jesus. The second Liam got a look at her ta-tas he’d forget ever seeing mine. He was a breast man. If I learned anything about Liam in this kissing challenge, it was that he liked breasts. I had so little to offer him, and not just on the boob level.

  We were complete opposites. It’s why we worked so well as friends. I’d would steal the pickles off his hamburger and he’d adios my onions. I hated spiders and he thought they were cool, so he got rid of them when they invaded my apartment. I was always cold, he was ways hot. It had been a perfect give and take. Until I got greedy.

  Damn it. I had really fucked this up.

  The shower turned off just as I was letting myself out of his apartment. I didn’t leave a note. There was no need. Once he saw Angel, I would be a distant memory anyway. Better to rip the bandage off and start over.

  I dug around in my bag, unlocked my apartment, threw my overnight bag on the floor and grabbed my purse as fast as I could so I could fly down the stairwell and out of Liam’s sight.

  And yet…

  My feet couldn’t seem to push away from the apartment building once I got outside. I hated to admit it to myself, but I needed to see it. I needed to see the two of them together. Witness their chemistry with my own eyes. It felt like only then would the last shred of hope be properly dashed. I needed to see them happy so I could stand a chance of ever moving on.

  I ducked inside the coffee shop just outside our building and I waited for him to come out. With a $4.00 coffe
e in hand that I had no desire to drink, I perched myself in the window but kept the napkin dispenser on the ledge so I could hide behind it when Liam came out, which he did about an hour and twenty minutes later.

  He couldn’t see me from where I sat, but I could see him. He was wearing a navy-blue suit and a horrible tie that in no way matched. If I had stayed, I would have made him pick something else, but I didn’t. I abandoned him in his time of need. He was probably a nervous wreck trying to get ready and was likely counting on me to help him. You let him down again, Chloe.

  “That wasn’t my job,” I whispered. My task had been to get him road ready for his date. Angel would help him pick out his ties now.

  I watched him pass by the shop and it was all I could do not to rush out after him to make sure he was okay. As he approached the intersection he looked to his left and then his right, as though unsure which way to go.

  “Right, you moron,” I whispered. The restaurant was to the right and like four blocks down. Not far at all, but Liam was directionally challenged. I swear he could get lost coming out of his own bedroom.

  Eventually, he seemed to settle on going right, which meant I would lose sight of him. I’d have to follow him. I just wanted to see her. Just once. I needed to see the woman I’d lost Liam to, in the flesh. Then I could lose myself to the drink.

  I hung a block away so that if Liam turned around, he wouldn’t spot me. I wasn’t afraid of losing him. I knew exactly what restaurant they were going to. It used to be a favorite of mine to hit on weekdays when Liam was at work and I had the day off. Now, I’d have to block that out of my life, too. Figures. They had the best breadsticks.

  At the next intersection, Liam stopped and pulled out his phone. He started texting.

  -Oh Angel, can’t wait to see you and shove my cock in your pussy- is what I imagined he said, though it was likely something far more gentlemanly, like -On my way. See you soon.-