by Levine, Nina
He flustered me to the point of jumbling my thoughts, and that was without uttering a word. I could only imagine what he’d do to me once he spoke. In my bewildered state, I threw out, “You need to shave. That beard’s out of control.”
I wasn’t lying; it was. He looked like a lumberjack who hadn’t seen civilisation in months. Well, not really, but I’d never seen that much beard on him. And while I preferred a little less, he was still sexy as hell.
His lips twitched as a smile slowly made it to his eyes. “Out of everything I know you must want to say to me, that’s what you lead with?”
His laidback sexiness was too much for me today. I didn’t have the brain capacity to stand my ground against it. He’d mentioned chasing me last night, and if I allowed him to continue down this path, he wouldn’t have to chase me for long. So I went on the offensive in an effort to deter him.
“What I really want to say to you is that you’re wasting your time coming here. I’m not interested, so whatever this game is you think we’re playing, it’s all in your mind.”
I tried to close the door, but he blocked that by stepping one foot inside my house. “You’re telling me that if I were to kiss you right now, you would push me away? That you wouldn’t feel anything?”
My heart raced as I swallowed hard. “Yes, that’s what I’m telling you.” Glancing down at his boot, I said, “I have to go out.”
When I angled my face back up, I found him watching me with heat. A few moments passed in silence while I did my best to gather strength. I’d need it to stick to my guns, because if the way Winter was staring at me was any indication, he was about to attempt to push his way back into my life.
I wasn’t wrong.
He refused to remove his foot from my house, and instead placed his hand to the door, pushed it all the way open, and took another step inside. Within a matter of seconds, he was in my home and had his hands on me.
Eyes wide, I demanded, “What are you doing? I told you I have to go—”
Taking hold of my face, he growled, “Showing you how wrong you are,” before wiping every last thought from my mind with a kiss that took my breath away.
I wanted to fight him, and I did for a beat, but the connection we shared was too strong. It always had been. Winter wasn’t a man I could ever fight and win against. As much as I tried to argue that he didn’t still own my heart, this kiss would tell him once and for all that he did.
The kiss lasted forever, or at least that was how it felt. It consumed me, and although I hadn’t wanted it, I didn’t want it to end. By the time Winter dragged his lips from mine, my arms were around him, my body was pressed hard against his, and I was breathless with need.
He let me go and ran his finger lightly down the centre of my lips. “What time will you be home?”
I scrambled to get my thoughts together. Just because his kiss had revealed my feelings, it didn’t mean I had to give in to him. It certainly didn’t change things between us.
Shaking my head, I retreated. “No—”
My phone rang, cutting me off. It sat on the table in my entryway, and I reached for it because I was waiting on a call from Mum.
Glancing at Winter, I said, “I have to take this.”
He nodded.
I gave him the look that expressed my desire for him to leave, but he ignored it and said, “Take the call, Angel. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jesus.
Men.
I put the phone to my ear, my eyes firmly on Winter as I hit him with a pissed-off glare. “Hey, Mum. Did you decide on the salad?”
“Yes. Can you grab the chicken and pesto pasta salad?”
The deli around the corner from where I lived made the best salads known to mankind. Mum had asked me to bring a salad but had changed her mind every day this week as to which one. They were all that good.
“Are you sure now?”
“No! But yes.”
I laughed.
Winter’s mouth curved into a sexy smile as he watched me. Clearly my glare was a fail. I tried to inject a little more pissed-off-ness into it, but it only encouraged him. When his smile grew, I muttered, “Ugh.”
“What? You think I should choose a different salad?” Mum asked, mistaking my grumbling to be about the salad rather than about the man standing in front of me.
“No, sorry, that wasn’t for you.”
“Who was it for?”
I realised my mistake the minute it was out of my mouth, but it was too late by then. “No one, Mum. I have to go. I’ll see you soon.”
As I tried desperately to end the call, Winter reached for the phone and put it to his ear, blocking my attempts to grab it back off him. “Jennifer.” He uttered one bloody word, and I just knew my mother would melt. She loved him too much.
I couldn’t hear her response, but the way Winter continued smiling told me she was happy to hear from him. “No, I don’t have any plans for today,” he said. After listening to what she said after that, he then replied, “I’d love to come. It’ll be good to catch up with you guys.”
My eyes widened.
Shit.
No.
I yanked my phone out of his hold. “I’m going now, Mum, and no, Winter won’t be coming.” Hanging up on her, I challenged him, “What are you doing?”
“Like I said before, I’m showing you how wrong you are.” He paused briefly before adding with that goddam sexy smile of his, “And before you argue with me, there’s no way I’m not going.”
I stared at him as he made his declaration, and knew I was screwed. Not only had he kissed me, but now I had to spend an entire afternoon with him while my family loved on him. My brothers thought of him as their brother, and my mother adored him. And hours of being in his presence, with his sexiness overwhelming me, would be the worst kind of torture when there was no way I could allow myself to have even a night with him again. One night would lead to two nights and then three nights, and before we knew it, we’d be together again. And that would only lead to heartbreak when he discovered the real reason I broke up with him.
I pursed my lips in frustration. “Fine, go to lunch, but if you ever try to kiss me again, I will knee you in the balls so hard you’ll wish you never came near me.”
His smile remained firmly in place as he leaned close to me. “The fact you’re thinking about my balls tells me everything I need to know, Angel.”
4
Winter
* * *
I leaned back against my chair at Jennifer’s table after lunch and extended my arm out across the top of Birdie’s chair. She wasn’t sitting in it. If she had been, she would no doubt have told me what to do with my arm. I would have moved my mouth to her ear and told her she should keep fighting me because it turned me on. And then she would have removed herself from the spot next to me.
I sucked back some beer. Yep, I knew Birdie Beaumont as well as I knew myself. Most of the time. There was still a good 25 percent of the time that she surprised me. It was one of the things I loved about her. Life had never been boring when we were together.
Birdie’s brother Carey grinned at me as I ran my gaze over his sister who stood in the kitchen talking to her mum and Sarah, her brother’s fiancé, about the Color Run she’d signed up for. Jerking his chin at her, he said, “She’s not going to make it easy on you, man.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes firmly glued to Birdie. I wasn’t wasting a second of my time with her. “Yeah, I’m counting on it.” The chase made it that much sweeter.
He chuckled. “Fuck, it’s good to have you back. It’s been quiet the last five years without you.”
That caught my attention enough to draw my gaze from Birdie. “How so?”
“Birdie’s hardly been around. We didn’t see her much after she moved to Melbourne when you guys broke up, and then while she spent three years travelling on and off. I can count on one hand the number of guys she’s brought home since you. And when I say on one hand, I mean two fingers.”
Carey and I were the same age and we’d been tight for the decade I was with Birdie, but after she left me, I’d joined Storm and spent all my time with the club. We’d kept in touch, but the phone calls slowed down over the years while we were both busy with life. It seemed, though, that he still had my back. He still knew how my mind worked and what information would be important to me.
“Either of them last long?”
He grinned. “Not even a month each. Hell, I reckon she’d booted them within a week. Birdie’s fussy, and let’s be honest, she’s still hung up on you.”
I knew all about her fussy ways. Some of that shit had almost driven me to drink. And yet, she was the only woman in the world for me.
“What are you boys talking about over there?” Jennifer called out, watching me with a smile.
“We were just discussing Birdie’s lack of men.” Carey always was the shit-stirrer of the family.
Birdie’s eyes bulged and she hit him with a filthy look. “What lack of men? I’ve had more than enough.”
As much as I tried, I couldn’t fight the grin that formed on my lips. Fuck, she was beautiful when she was fired up. And that perfect pink pout never failed to stir my desire for her.
Her other brother, Lucas, joined in the conversation from across the table. “I do recall that plumber you brought home once. Didn’t he spend half the night in the toilet trying to plunge his own shit after blocking it?”
Carey laughed, almost choking on his beer. “Fuck, he did! The smell from his shit could have painted this place brown. And what about that other dude? The one who worked in the funeral home? I swear I’ve never seen a paler face than his. He had to be wearing white make-up or something.”
Lucas nodded. “Yeah, and a whole heap of black shit on his eyes. Seriously, Birdie, how the fuck did you go from Winter to those guys? I bet they didn’t even own a dick between them.”
Birdie glowered at them. “God, you two can be assholes sometimes.” While her brothers laughed at her response, she busied herself tidying up the kitchen, placing salads in the fridge and clearing food scraps from the plates. “And for your information, they both had big dicks. Huge dicks that they knew what to do with.”
And the grin on my face died. I didn’t want to think about Birdie being fucked by someone else.
Jennifer helped her load food into the fridge. She didn’t seem so convinced by Birdie’s declaration. “Really? How big are we talking?”
“Mum, seriously,” Birdie said, “Big. Why, do you doubt me?”
Jennifer shrugged. “You did try to tell me that painter’s dick was huge a couple of years ago. Then I saw the dick pic he sent you, and let me tell you that if you think that’s huge, we need to get you out more.”
Fucking hell.
Enough with the goddam dick talk.
Carey had me covered. He interrupted the conversation. “Mum, did you end up going on a date with that guy your friend was going to introduce you to at her dinner party?.”
“Oh God, no. He spent the night of the dinner party picking his teeth and continually smoothing his hair. How hard is it to find a normal man?”
“My thoughts exactly,” Birdie agreed. “All the good men are taken.” Her eyes met mine as she said that, and I didn’t miss the way her gaze lingered on me.
“Birdie,” Jennifer said, passing her a container of food, “Can you please take this out to the freezer in the garage?”
She did as her mother asked, and I made my move. I’d spent the last three hours waiting for this moment, and I wasn’t about to miss it now. I followed her to the garage, closing the door behind us as I entered.
The way she didn’t react told me she knew I’d followed her, and when she said, “Winter, this isn’t going to go down the way you want it to,” I knew she was lying to herself. She would have stopped me on the way in here if she meant what she’d just said. She sure as fuck wouldn’t have waited until we were alone.
I folded my arms over my chest and leaned against the wall near the freezer. “How do you think I want this to go down?”
She met my gaze. “You think we’re going to dance around each other for a while, you chasing me, me avoiding you. You think I’m just playing and will eventually give in. But that’s not how things will play out. I broke up with you for a reason, and I don’t have any intention of starting a relationship again.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “And what exactly was that reason, Birdie? Because I don’t remember you ever giving me a real reason.”
“Have you forgotten how much we were fighting?” Her tone was challenging, like she was looking for an argument.
“Christ, I’d just come back from Afghanistan. It was an adjustment period for us. Of course we were fighting.”
Her body tensed. “We were fighting way before you came home that last time.”
“And you were happy to just throw away ten years together without us working on it once I was home full-time?” I loved her, but fuck, I was still mad with her.
Her gaze dropped to the ground and she took a step away from me. “We’d been working on it and we weren’t getting anywhere.” There was something off here. I’d always gotten the feeling there was something she wasn’t telling me, and I was getting that same damn feeling again.
“Was there someone else, Birdie? Is that it?” I hoped to hell she didn’t say yes. I’d never fully believed that, but it had crossed my mind, because her behaviour had been so out of character for her that nothing had made much sense.
Her head jerked up and her eyes met mine again. “No,” she said with complete conviction, “I never cheated on you.” Her voice softened a little as she reiterated that, “Never.”
Thank fuck.
An overwhelming need to have her in my arms hit me, and I pushed off the wall and closed the distance between us. One arm slid around her waist while I took hold of her face with my free hand. “I hadn’t been working on us. You might have been, but my mind was so fucked up from what I saw over there that I hadn’t wrapped it around what I needed to do back home. I screwed us up, Birdie, and I’m going to make it right. Let me back in. Let me work on us.”
I felt the moment she gave in. She might not have felt it, but I did. Her eyes fluttered closed for a second before opening again and looking at me with heat. Her body relaxed into mine and she gripped my shirt. And while she continued fighting me, she’d crossed the line back to me.
“You didn’t screw us up. We both played our part. But I can’t go back. I don’t—”
I bent my mouth to her ear and cut her off. “We’re going back, Angel. Don’t fight me on this, because you won’t win.”
With that, I claimed her mouth and kissed her for the second time that day. This time, she struggled against me and tried to push me away. I pulled my lips from hers and growled, “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t feel something when we’re together and that you aren’t imagining fucking me. I am deadly fucking serious when I say I want you back and that I’ll do whatever it takes, but I’ll give you this one opportunity to tell me no.”
She stared up at me, breathless and sexy as fuck, and she didn’t tell me any of that. Instead, she pulled my mouth back to hers and kissed the hell out of me.
We were going back.
5
Birdie
* * *
“You what?” Cleo asked, coming to a complete stop to stare at me in shock, dropping the foam rollers that were precariously balanced in her arms.
We were at work, in the middle of preparing for our first Pilates class early Monday morning, the day after I’d kissed Winter. The day after I’d lost my damn mind.
I bent and helped her pick up the rollers. “God, I know. It wasn’t my finest moment. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Oh, I do. Winter Morrison came over you.”
He did. But she didn’t know the worst of it. So far, I’d only told her we’d kissed, not that I initiated one of those kisses. “Umm
, so I was the one who kissed him. He gave me the opportunity to say no, to say I felt nothing, and instead of telling him that, I kissed him.”
She blinked in the way she did when someone had completely stunned her. It didn’t happen often with Cleo; not much left her speechless, but this news did.
She walked to the corner of the room and placed the rollers down. “Tell me everything so that we can put a game plan in place to deal with this detour.” Stopping abruptly, she narrowed her eyes at me. “Wait, unless this is what you want. Do you want Winter back?”
That was the kind of question that had a million parts to the answer. And that answer was destined to cause more heartbreak.
I met Cleo’s eyes, regret in mine. “You know the answer to that.”
Cleo was the only person besides my mother who knew the full details of what had gone down between Winter and me. I knew it wasn’t fair to Winter to keep any of it from him, but I did it in an attempt to preserve some of his heart. And so when I couldn’t share my secrets with him, I’d turned to my best friend.
She contemplated that. “I know that in the past five years you haven’t found a man who even came close to Winter. I mean, sure, you’ve met some guys worth knowing, but Birdie, not one of them held the kind of spark for you that Winter does. He’s been back in your life for a second and you’re already kissing him.” Her voice softened. “Do you think maybe it’s worth considering telling him what happened and seeing where it leads?”
My eyes widened as panic swept through me. “God no. I can’t. Never. It would kill him.”
“Would it?” she asked softly. “Or is this more about you than him?”