Bossy: An Alpha Collection

by Levine, Nina

  I waited with interest for her response. Not that we were back together, but I wanted to see if she’d trip over the thought. If she’d rush to deny it.

  Hitting him with an easy smile, she shook her head. “We’re not.”

  She didn’t stumble over it for a moment, didn’t deny it like it was the last thing she wanted, and in the midst of darkness, I glimpsed some light. Hell, just having Birdie by my side for this trip let me breathe a little easier. Although I hadn’t wanted to say yes to her coming, now that she was here, I couldn’t imagine doing it without her. The last twelve hours had been hell as I’d turned everything over in my mind, but Birdie sitting on the back of my bike with her arms wrapped tightly around me had gone a long way to easing some of that hell.

  Melissa eyed me one last time before turning to face the hallway and calling out, “Boys, it’s time to go.” The look she gave me matched her cool mood, and I got the distinct impression it didn’t have anything to do with Dad’s death.

  Jesse and Thomas trudged into the living room where we stood, sadness etched into their features. They’d always been close with their grandfather, so I’d expected his passing to hit them hard, which it appeared it had.

  They both perked up a little when they saw me, but after we exchanged hugs, they grew despondent again.

  “Do we have to go?” Jesse asked his father, his voice as flat as he was. When I looked closer at him, I noticed his red-rimmed eyes.

  Fuck, he’s too young to lose his grandfather.

  “Yes.” Melissa gripped his arm and directed him to the front door. “Your coach expects to see you for practice today.”

  I was unable to stop myself from suggesting, “Surely one day off practice is acceptable.” Fuck, he was only ten and grieving. He didn’t need to be there today.

  Her lips flattened so hard it caused the skin around them to turn white. “This is none of your business, Matt. But if you must know, we’re trying to get Jesse on the state team. Not showing up today could go against him.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but Birdie’s hand curled around my arm in the way it always had when she wanted me to think about what I was about to say. Looking down at her, I found compassion and kindness in her eyes. And I knew she was right—arguing with Melissa over this would only bring more tension to an already stressful situation. And it certainly wouldn’t cause her to change her mind. Melissa was as bullheaded as I was.

  Stepping aside, I watched her and the kids leave before saying to Max, “I could do with a coffee.”

  “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “I could too.”

  I had zero fucking clue how he put up with Melissa. How he allowed her to walk all over him. I wasn’t a man who liked to control my woman but fuck if I’d put up with the shit he did. He knew I felt that way. And I knew by the avoidance blazing from him that he knew exactly what thoughts were running through my mind. This would be just one more thing to come between us.

  The battleground the relationship between him, Melissa, and me had become was a fucking minefield I was tired of. Adding to it every time we saw each other wasn’t something I wanted to continue doing, but I feared he was drifting further away from me so I kept showing up trying to build a bridge back to him. Sometimes it felt so hard to reach him that it physically hurt.

  Birdie took charge the minute we entered the kitchen. “You two sit down and catch up. I’ll make the coffee.”

  Max glanced at the kettle and then at Birdie, nodding. It was painfully obvious, though, that he’d rather make coffee and fill another few minutes with activity than sit and talk.

  “What are your plans?” he asked as he took the seat across from me at the long dining table that was as perfectly tidy as the rest of his home. I wanted to stand on the fucking thing and dirty it with my boots. That would piss Melissa off and maybe we’d finally get the almighty showdown we all desperately needed.

  But, I didn’t. Mum raised me with enough manners not to do something like that the day after our father died. The time would come, though, and I was more than ready for that confrontation.

  “Once we’ve organised the funeral, we need to make a plan to go through Dad’s place and clean it out,” I said.

  Max’s fingers began drumming on the table like I knew they would. It was one of the coping mechanisms he’d used since childhood when nervous. One that had annoyed the hell out of me as a child. It didn’t so much anymore. Not with the patience the military had drilled into me.

  “Yeah, but how long do you plan to stay here?” he asked.

  “As in here at your place?”

  “Yeah.”

  I drew in a long breath and slowly released it. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere good. If I was sure of anything right now, it was that.

  “We can leave any time you need us to, brother.”

  He ground his teeth together, a grimace working its way out across his cheeks. “That’s not what I said, Matt.” The use of my name signalled his mood. When he was in an easy mood, he used the nickname I’d been given in my twenties. When he was tense, it was always Matt.

  “No, but it’s what you’re thinking. And I’m good with that if it’s what you need to get through this.” It was the last thing I wanted, but what I wanted more was for my brother not to be hit harder than he already was by Dad’s death.

  He stopped drumming his fingers for a few beats before starting back up, deep in contemplation. “We’ve got the kids to think of. They need routine. Maybe stay a couple of days and then see how they are.”

  It was my turn to grind my teeth. The words out of his mouth were not my brother’s words. They were his wife’s words, and that shit pissed me off. This had nothing to do with the kids or their routine and everything to do with Max bowing down to whatever Melissa dictated.

  “Here’s your coffees,” Birdie said, cutting into my thoughts and giving us a break in the conversation right as it had been about to go downhill at a rapid rate of knots.

  Max gave her a tight smile. “Thanks, Birdie.”

  She sat next to me and squeezed his hand. “Whatever you need, I’m here. Don’t think that just because Winter and I aren’t together anymore that I don’t care, because I do.”

  “I know.” He swallowed hard, unable to conceal his emotions. It was the first time in my life I’d seen Max struggle with them. However, he quickly pushed past them and looked at me. “I’ve been in touch with the funeral director. We’ve got an appointment with him this afternoon to go over everything. We’re thinking Tuesday for the funeral.”

  I processed everything he said and read between the lines. Melissa wanted us gone as soon as possible.

  Taking a long, slow drink of coffee, I stalled while figuring out how best to broach the subject that had to be discussed. When I had my thoughts in order, I placed my mug down on the coaster in front of me. Melissa was fucking anal about using them. We’d had numerous arguments over those damn things, but if there was one thing I was well trained in, it was picking my battles. This was a battle I didn’t need on this trip, so I used the coaster.

  “We need to go over Dad’s will,” I said, fully anticipating the heavy silence that followed.

  “Dad’s will?” I felt every ounce of weight in his question. Max knew nothing of the will.

  “Yes. His lawyer has it, but there’s also a copy in his safe.”

  Max’s eyes bored into mine, his expression darkening with every intense second that passed between us. This wasn’t a moment I’d ever looked forward to. In fact, I’d tried to convince Dad to tell Max about the will, but he’d refused. He hadn’t wanted Melissa anywhere near it until it was too late to alter the document.

  “You’re fucking kidding.” He shoved his chair out and shot to his feet. Nostrils flaring, he unfurled some of his caged emotions. “This is just like you two. Always fucking plotting behind mine and Mel’s back with family stuff we should have been a part of.” He stabbed his fingers through his hair and exhaled his rage and resentme
nt. “Fuck! What the fuck’s in this will, Matt?”

  Birdie settled her hand on my leg. It was a connection, a show of support that I really fucking appreciated. She was the only person in the world who knew the intricacies and difficulties of my family relationships.

  She’d been there when Max and I had fallen out for a couple of months before his wedding. She’d helped me piece our relationship back together and rebuild it over the years.

  She’d taken my back when Melissa had tried to cut me out of my brother’s life when they’d had their first child. Every action Melissa took, Birdie shut down. She’d saved Max and me without him even knowing what was going on behind closed doors.

  And when it came to my father and the difficult relationship he had with Max, Birdie had been right there helping Dad see all the sides to their troubles. Fuck, she’d glued us all back together more times than I could count. How we’d managed to get through the last five years without her, I had no fucking idea. But then, here we were. Broken. So essentially, we hadn’t gotten through those years very well at all.

  I covered Birdie’s hand with mine as I said, “I honestly don’t know for sure. He talked about changing it a couple of months ago and I don’t know if he did or not.”

  “Jesus, Matt, just tell me what was in it.”

  “There’s no point if it’s changed. I’ll head over to Dad’s place and get it—”

  “Fuck that. We’ll both go.” He jabbed his finger in the air at me. “Right fucking now.”

  Money and belongings meant very little to me, and I detested the way death and wills brought out the worst in people. This wasn’t Max talking. Not the Max I’d grown up with, anyway. But I guessed that was the thing: people changed over the years, and it mattered who was allowed to influence that change.

  “It can wait, Max.”

  He shook his head, almost violently. “No.”

  Something was off here. He appeared a little unnerved over this. Panicked maybe. I leant forward, concerned. “What’s going on with you? Is everything okay?” We hadn’t talked for a couple of weeks, and the last time we did chat, he’d been distracted. When I’d asked him what by, he’d brushed it off. Told me everything was good. But looking at him now and listening to the tone of his voice, I wasn’t convinced.

  “The only thing going on with me is that you and Dad kept stuff from me. How the fuck would you like to be surprised like this?”

  “I don’t believe you, big brother. Is it Melissa? Is everything good there?” I knew he’d hate that question, but it had to be asked.

  Predictably, his face pulled into a scowl and he snapped, “Everything’s good, but FYI, being married brings responsibilities with it that would be a lot easier to take care of if I knew what was going on with things in my own family.”

  Birdie knew me like she knew the back of her hand, so she didn’t need to be told that statement would piss me off. She gripped my leg harder, causing me to slow my mouth down, which was her intention. However, this time it didn’t shut me down completely. This time, I wasn’t letting shit slide.

  “How about you tell me about those responsibilities, Max? Make me see exactly what you’re dealing with here. Because, quite fucking honestly, I don’t know any other married man who deals with a wife like yours.”

  Fuck.

  Not the way I’d wanted today to go. Not by a long shot. But after thirteen years of this, it was way past time to call bullshit and try to get my brother to open his eyes to his marriage.

  The way he stared at me with both bitterness and denial told me we wouldn’t be getting far with this today. And when a knock sounded on the front door, I knew the conversation was dead for now.

  “I’m going to see who that is. I suggest you step out for a bit. Give me some time to calm down. And then we’ll head over to Dad’s.”

  With that, he exited the room, leaving me feeling like my chest was about to explode. There were far too many years behind us filled with these kinds of moments. The kind where we were almost at the edge of no return with feelings and hurts and grudges and needs about to be laid out on the table, only to be packed back up and shoved into the dark recesses of our souls, never to be excavated again.

  I couldn’t do it again.

  I refused to do it again.

  This would be the trip where it all came out. Good or fucking bad, we would pass that edge of no return.

  Family was everything, even when it was the hardest thing in the world. One thing I knew for absolute certainty, though, was that my family needed to clear this hurdle so we could build a new normal.

  No matter how hard that was.

  12

  Birdie

  * * *

  “Take as long as you need. The girls have told me they’ll help out for as long as required,” Cleo said as I watched Winter sitting on the end of the bed texting his club president.

  My heart wanted to cry as I took in his body language. The way he sat hunched, exhausted, and kind of adrift, I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen him so ravaged. Our breakup and his family problems over the years had hit him hard, but this was like a whole other level of devastation.

  His argument with his brother had been coming for a long time. I didn’t know what had gone down between them during the last five years, but I could tell from what had been said that they hadn’t cleared up any of their issues they’d had while Winter and I were a couple. He’d left me to go outside for some fresh air and time alone to gather his thoughts after the argument. Max had told me which room was Winter’s, and I’d spent the time alone in here trying to get hold of Cleo and talking with Mum. I felt out of my depth with this situation and needed Mum’s advice on how to help Winter through it. She had, of course, given me her usual advice: trust my heart to guide me in the moment. Not really what I’d been looking for, because my heart was a mess of confusion and I wasn’t convinced I could trust it to guide me at all.

  Shifting my attention back to Cleo, I said, “We can’t afford for me to—”

  She cut me off. “They’re not looking to be paid in the usual way, Birdie. They want to do this for you because they love working for you.”

  Frowning, I pulled the few strands of hair from my T-shirt that sat like strays on it. I lost way too much hair and was forever cleaning it off myself. “What do you mean by ‘in the usual way’? What other way is there?”

  “They’ll exchange the hours they do now for time off at a later date. You don’t need to worry about work, babe. We’ve got you covered. You just concentrate on what you’ve got going on up there. And look after that man of yours.”

  I eyed him again. His head was still bowed, exchanging messages. I wanted to correct her that he wasn’t my man, but I left it because right now, he felt like my man to look after. “Okay, well just call if you need me back.”

  “Will do.”

  We ended the call and I moved to find my phone charger. As I walked past Winter, he reached his hand out and curled it around my thigh. “Where are you going, Angel?”

  My breath hitched at not only his touch but also at what I heard in his voice. Need.

  I turned and stepped into the space directly in front of him. “Nowhere. I’m staying right here with you.”

  God, how I wanted to take hold of his face and kiss all his pain away. Soothing kisses, nothing more. If only it was that easy.

  His hold of my leg eased, but only enough for him to run it up over my ass before slipping it around my waist and pulling me down onto his lap so I straddled him. He caught me off guard. So much so that he had his mouth on mine before I realised what was happening.

  Although I was exhausted, and although kissing him like this was the last thing on my mind, my body detonated with desire the second we connected. Unable to stop it, a moment later my hands were on his chest and I was pressed against him.

  Winter’s kiss was demanding. As were his hands. He took what he needed, and what he needed was my complete submission. I surrendered to the raw animal
side of him, completely consumed by his touch, his smell, his growls.

  When he stood, taking me with him, I didn’t fight him.

  When he spread me out on the bed and positioned himself over me, I didn’t say no.

  When he pulled my T-shirt off and dropped his mouth to my breast, I let him.

  God, how I let him.

  But as fast as it all happened, it all stopped.

  “Fuck!” He reared up and off the bed, his face full of anguish.

  I lifted myself up onto my elbows. “What’s wrong?”

  Spearing his fingers through his hair, he looked at me with regret. “That shouldn’t have happened. I’m not going to use you to ease my grief.”

  “I don’t feel used, Winter.” I felt anything but used.

  “Well you should. That was an asshole move.”

  Feeling naked, both physically and emotionally, I left the bed to locate my T-shirt that he’d thrown on the floor. I needed to busy myself with a task to distract myself from what I’d just wanted to happen. “You are not the kind of guy who makes asshole moves.” Finding my tee, I slipped it on. I then moved to my bag to grab my phone charger, trying to return us to where we were before he kissed me. But I couldn’t let him think this was all on him, so I added, “And it’s not like I stopped you.”

  Winter remained silent while I plugged my phone in to charge. When he didn’t say anything, I said, “We both need sleep, you especially.”

  He held my gaze for another long silent moment before nodding. “You take the bed.”

  “And where will you sleep?” I had never been to this house so I didn’t know if Max had other spare rooms or not.

  “Don’t worry about me, Angel. I’ll find somewhere.”

  Oh God. I was about to make what was sure to be a very bad decision, but there was no way I could let him sleep on an uncomfortable couch or some other place where he probably wouldn’t get much rest. Winter was exhausted; he needed some good sleep.

  “I do worry about you. Sleep in here with me.”