by Levine, Nina
“I’m tired,” I said, “but my brain won’t go to sleep.”
Before I knew what he was doing, he had me up and off the floor, and had scooped up the bedding that lay scattered around the bed. We really had made a mess of it earlier.
As we made the bed together, Winter filled me in on what he knew about his brother’s marriage. Once he’d given me the update, he said, “I just want him to be happy. I couldn’t put up with Melissa, but who the fuck knows what goes on in others’ relationships. Maybe she has a side I haven’t seen.”
I stopped what I was doing with the sheets and straightened, sending him a huge smile. My heart melted at the way Winter loved his brother.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What’s that smile for?”
My smile grew and I crawled across the bed. Kneeling in front of him, I looped my hands around his neck. “I love you, Winter Morrison. Like you can’t even imagine. Like I’ve never loved anyone.”
His features tightened as his arm hooked around my waist. Taking me down to the bed with him, he growled, “I should fucking hope like you’ve never loved anyone.”
I took hold of his cheeks and lifted my head to kiss him. Winter’s possessiveness was something I loved, but I read between the lines and knew this time it was coloured with his feelings over us not being together for the last five years. “There’s never been anyone that mattered to me but you. I need you to know that. You’ve had my heart all this time and you’ll have it for the rest of our lives.”
He dropped his lips to mine and kissed me again before repositioning us under the covers. He lay on his back and pulled me in close, his arm holding me tightly to his body. Since we’d worked our anger out, it was like he couldn’t let me go.
“We haven’t talked about what you went through when you lost the baby,” he said softly. “Or about how you coped with losing your other tube. When exactly did it happen?”
I tensed at his question, not because I didn’t want to discuss this, but because of the guilt I felt over it, and the loss I still felt sharply. That loss could slice pain deeply in my soul in the most unexpected moments. However, I knew he needed these answers, so I gave them to him. “I fell pregnant when you were home on leave for your cousin’s funeral during your last tour. The doctor monitored me with blood tests every few days so he could rule out another ectopic pregnancy, but at six weeks he determined it was ectopic. He recommended surgery rather than an injection and things didn’t go as well as he hoped.”
“Fuck,” he said. “I wish I’d known, Angel. I would have been there for you. Six weeks of that and then having to deal with everything that happened….”
I shifted so I could look up at him, hating the pain I saw on his face. “I know you would have, but it was on me. I made the decision to get pregnant; I dealt with the consequence. Mum and Cleo were there for me.”
“It wasn’t on you,” he said with force. “Fuck, losing a baby was definitely not on you. I don’t ever want you to think that again. And I’m so fucking sorry I’ve spent the last few days unable to think straight about this. You keep saying you’re sorry I might not be able to have children, but you always wanted children just as much as I did; I’m sorry this has been taken away from you.”
Tears filled my eyes, which Winter gently wiped away. Then, with regret clear in his eyes, he said, “I talked with your mum a lot after we broke up, and looking back now, I’m pretty sure she came close to telling me about the baby. There were times when she seemed like she had something to say but then held it back. I should have fucking pushed her.”
I moved to straddle him and then leaned forward, bringing my chest close to his. “Promise me you won’t waste time looking back with regret at the things you think you should or could have done. We’ve wasted enough time; I just want to get on with living in the now and planning our future. I want babies with you, somehow, some way. I want to watch you teach our children in the same way your father taught you. And I want to grow old with you in a home filled with the kind of memories we were lucky enough to make when we were kids. I know you’re still hurting here”—I placed my hand over his heart—“and that it will take you time to move past that, but I don’t think looking back all the time will help. I think we have to look forward.”
Winter took hold of my face, sliding his hands up into my hair, and kissed the hell out of me. He kept his lips to mine as he switched our positions so he was on top of me. When he finally dragged his mouth from mine, he said, “You will be a mother; I will make fucking sure of it. And our children will be the luckiest kids alive because of who their mother is.” He dropped another kiss to my lips before adding, with the kind of Winter-grin that made my ovaries explode, “Just so you know, I plan on being one of those dirty old men who can’t keep his hands to himself. Those memories you wanna make are gonna include a lot of filthy sex right up until the day I die.”
I returned his grin. “I know, because you really are your father’s son. That man’s hands were all over your mother every time I saw them together.”
He laughed and kissed me, again. “Fuck I’ve missed you, baby. You will never leave my sight again if I can fucking help it.”
I laughed, too, and wondered how I had ever managed to stay away from him for so long. Then, turning serious, I whispered, “I think Birdie Morrison has a good ring to it. Do you?”
Heat flashed in those eyes of his. Then, arching a brow, he said, “What happened to us starting off with dating again?”
“Well, I guess we could, if that’s what you want….”
When his lips met mine this time, they were demanding, and expressed so much more than just a kiss. I was breathless and needy by the time he was done. “No fucking way are we going back to dating,” he growled, causing desire to pool low in my belly. God, I will never have enough of him.
“Good, because I plan on moving in with you as soon as we get back to Sydney. And I’m not even taking no for an answer.”
“Fucking hell, woman,” he said, grinding his dick against me, “This bossy side of you has me hard as fuck. There’s not going to be any sleep for either of us tonight.”
Wrapping my legs around him and rolling my hips to meet his moves, I said with a grin, “I don’t know…. Just because I talk too much, you want to shut me up with your dick.”
“No,” he said forcefully, “I can deal with your need to talk my fucking ear off. This”—he rocked into me again—“is because you are by far the sexiest woman alive and I can’t get enough of you.”
With that, he slammed into me and showed me exactly how much he wanted me. All was right in our world, and never again would I put what we had at risk. Winter Morrison was the man I would love and cherish for every day of the rest of my life.
31
Birdie
* * *
“These red shoes look exactly like the red shoes I just packed, and the red ones before that,” Winter said. “How many pairs of red shoes does a woman actually fucking need?”
I snatched the shoes from him. “Maybe you should go help Carey finish up in the kitchen. I don’t need to hear your thoughts about the rest of my wardrobe.”
His brow arched and he did exactly what I didn’t want him to do. He eyed the other side of my wardrobe. “Fuck me, Angel.” Then looking at me, he said, “By my count, we’ve already packed forty-seven pairs of shoes. There’s gotta be at least that again in here.”
I stepped next to him. “Yes, and don’t they look beautiful in there? I mean, you certainly don’t complain when I wear them.”
“I wouldn’t fucking complain if you didn’t wear them.”
“That’s because you wouldn’t complain if I didn’t wear anything. And why are you counting my shoes?” I knew that letting Winter anywhere near the packing of my clothes and shoes and bags would be a bad idea, but he’d insisted on helping. We hadn’t even gotten to the bags yet. God help me.
“Birdie”—he snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close—�
�we’re moving in together. I’m going to see how many pairs of shoes you own, and how many more you buy, and all the places you try to hide them from me.” He took hold of my face with both hands and bent his to mine. “Don’t start hiding from me now, baby.”
Winter was so damn perceptive. Since we’d arrived home from Brisbane three days ago, it had been a whirlwind of getting back to work, catching up with my family, doing all the things I needed to do to move house. And while it was exactly what I wanted, Winter had taken charge and was driving this forward faster than I could keep up. Fast was his way, as was ignoring obstacles and making shit happen regardless. I hadn’t forgotten that, but seeing it in action had proved a little overwhelming.
The other thing overwhelming me was the fact that although we’d lived together for almost a decade, his work had taken him away from home for many of those years, and that wasn’t the case now. My brain had gone into overdrive thinking about that. Would we live together well now? Had we changed too much in the last five years that we would no longer be compatible? Would he be able to cope with my crazy habits that he’d not had to deal with on a full-time basis before? Will he move in with me and then realise he actually doesn’t want me anymore?
“I’m trying not to hide,” I whispered, my heart beating faster at what I saw in his eyes. Love. Adoration. My future.
“I’m not going to let you.” He brushed his lips over mine before looking at me with that trademark cockiness of his I knew well. “And I’m sure as shit gonna need to build you a bigger fucking wardrobe.”
“Yeah, you are,” I said, slipping my hands under his T-shirt so I could touch his abs. “And I want front row seats while you do that. These abs need to see the light of day a lot more often as far as I’m concerned.”
“Fuck,” he growled, his hands gripping mine and dragging them from his body. “I wasn’t built to withstand you, Angel, so when your brother is down the hall, these hands need to stay away.”
“Her brother is standing right here, and I thank you for stopping that PDA. There’s only so much one can bear and I’m about at my fill of you two,” Carey said.
I turned to find him leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed, watching us with a look that showed he meant what he said.
Winter chuckled while I poked my tongue at him and said, “You’re just jealous, Carey.”
“What? Of some dick action? I can get that any day I want.”
“Yeah, you can,” I agreed, moving towards him because I heard Cleo’s voice from the front door, “but Winter’s dick is something else. I wouldn’t blame you for being jealous of me for getting it.”
“Fucking hell,” he muttered as I brushed past him. “Not an image I fucking needed in my head, Birdie. And not the kind of dick action I was talking about.”
My laughter filled the house as I walked through it to find my bestie. I also heard Winter laughing while my brother grumbled about the mental images he now had. Life is good.
I found Cleo juggling bags of takeaway and drinks, looking like she was about to drop all of it. Taking some of it from her, I said, “How many people are you planning on feeding tonight, babe? There’s a lot of food here.”
I’d left work just after lunchtime so I could come home and spend the afternoon packing with Winter. Cleo had told us she’d be over after work to help us move everything and would bring dinner with her. I’d left her and Winter to decide what to get, but I hadn’t envisioned needing this much food.
“Winter told me to bring enough food for at least twelve people,” she said, taking everything into the kitchen.
“Twelve? Why? There’s only seven of us.
“I’ve organised for some of the boys to come over,” Winter said, joining us. “They should be here soon.”
“Boys?” Cleo asked, dumping her bag on the counter next to the food.
“From the club,” I said, connecting the dots, while trying to ignore the nervous flutters in my tummy. I hadn’t met any of the guys yet, and was nervous about doing that. In all the talking Winter and I had done in the last week since we made up, we’d talked a lot about his club. I’d come to understand how important Storm was to him, not only from our conversations, but also from watching him get up every day and go take care of stuff for his club, so it mattered to me that I got on with these guys.
Winter must have heard something in my tone, because he looked at me with a slight frown, but his attention was diverted back to Cleo when she spoke again.
“This might be the best thing I’ve heard all day,” she said. “I’m all about helping you guys, but seriously moving heavy boxes and furniture is not what this girl was made for. Feeding men who bring their muscles to the job? That’s where my talents lie.”
I grinned, loving that she’d be by my side the first time I met Winter’s friends. I could take on the world with my bestie by my side.
Carey’s gaze met mine as he entered the kitchen carrying a box full of my clothes. “I’m gonna pack the boxes with your clothes in my trailer. If we’re lucky, it’ll only take me ten trips to get them all to Winter’s house.”
“Your sarcasm is duly noted, big brother,” I said as he turned and headed outside with the box.
“I’ll go help him with that,” Cleo said. “I can manage boxes of clothes.”
Winter moved behind me, hooking his arm around me, over my chest. I could feel his chuckle in his body as he brought his mouth to my ear. “Tell me what thoughts are running through that mind of yours.”
I bent my arms up and curled my hands over his forearm while relaxing back against him. There was nothing better than being in his arms with his strong, protective body close. “You don’t miss much, do you?” I murmured.
“No. It’s my job to know when something is on your mind.”
I smiled, enjoying this moment between us. “I’m nervous to meet the guys from the club, but I’m looking forward to it.”
His hand gripping my shoulder squeezed it as he bent to deposit a kiss on my neck. “There’s a birthday party at the clubhouse on Saturday night. You good to go to that?”
“Birdie,” my other brother, Lucas, said as he entered the kitchen, “Mum’s losing her shit over something out the front. She said she needs you and only you.” He lifted his chin at Winter in the way they always greeted each other, with a “Hey man,” and then wandered back out of the kitchen and down the hall.
Winter let me go. “Go see your Mum, Angel. We’ll discuss this later.”
I turned to face him, stood on my toes, and planted a kiss on his lips. I loved the heat and happiness I saw in his eyes when I ended the kiss. They were things I made sure I brought to his eyes every day. “I love you and I am more than good to go to that birthday party. I’ll grab a present if you tell me what you want to take.”
He chuckled. “We don’t do presents.”
“Birdie!” Carey called out from the front of the house. “Can you come talk to Mum? She’s having a meltdown over something.”
With one last smile at Winter, I spun around to exit the kitchen and go see Mum. I ran smack bang into a hard chest and one of the scariest looking men I’d ever met in my life. My hands flew up to steady myself, and in my haste I scrunched handfuls of his shirt. “Sorry! Did I just hurt you?” I was sure my sharp nails had dug into his skin when I grabbed his shirt.
His hard gaze settled on me, flaring my nerves again. Amusement flickered on his face briefly as he shifted his attention from me to Winter and then back to me. “If fingernails to my skin caused me pain, I’d be in a whole lotta trouble, but I appreciate the concern.”
“King,” Winter said, moving close to me again, making me feel sandwiched between the two. “I didn’t expect you.”
I thought I recognised his voice. Winter’s club president.
“I cleared some shit in my schedule.” He paused and looked at me. “We’ve got an issue out the front. One that it seems only you can take care of.”
I frowned. “Huh?”
“I’m on my way,” I said, moving past him to head outside.
I had no idea what I’d find out there, but it wasn’t what I did find out there: my mother sitting in her car crying.
“Mum,” I said softly, opening her door and crouching down next to her. “What’s wrong?”
Wiping her face, she looked at me. The hurt and disappointment I saw in her eyes made me want to hurt someone for this. Whoever had made her cry was an asshole because my mother was the best woman in the world and didn’t deserve whatever had happened to her. “This,” she said, holding out her phone to me.
I took it and read the Facebook post she had it open on.
Oh God.
My head jerked back up. “This is your Glen?”
She swallowed hard and nodded as more tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’ve been a crazy woman, stalking him online. He didn’t know I’d found his Facebook page. God, I feel like such an idiot. Especially since I slept with him two nights ago.”
It turned out Glen wasn’t divorced after all. I will kill him. With my own bare hands. After I rip his dick off.
“Don’t you feel like an idiot! He’s the asshole in this.”
“I do feel like an idiot, Birdie. I’ve been stalking the man like a teenager. What kind of grown woman does that?”
I smiled as I reached for her hand. Squeezing it, I said, “All kinds of grown women do stuff like that. When we’re falling in love, of course we do stuff like that.”
It had been a long time since Mum had fallen for a man like she had Glen. She was going to need me to guide her in this. No way did I want her to think the crazy shit we all did for love wasn’t normal.
She took a deep breath as she lifted her gaze and looked behind me. “Darling, who are all these men?”