by Levine, Nina
His words stung. I hated it when he spoke to me like that. I met his glare. “Sometimes, I fucking hate this club and your bullshit ways of hiding stuff,” I spat.
He opened his mouth to say something, but my mother caught both our eyes, and he went quiet. I was stunned at her appearance. Her face was stained with black mascara. There was also a red mark on her cheek; it looked like she’d been slapped. She had entered the room we were in, but when she saw us, she went to leave.
Christ, what was wrong with her? My mother never cried. And then, looking from her to my father, and noting the displeasure that crossed both their faces, I realised what was going on. Clarity hit me fair in the gut, and shock sliced through my heart.
I whipped my head around to face him. “You fucking hit her?” I almost screamed.
He shoved his face in mine, and snarled, “I said, leave it fucking be.” And with that, he left me standing there, wondering what the hell was going on, and feeling like our lives were about to be tipped on their asses.
J.
I needed J. He wanted to be my go-to person, and at that moment, I needed him to be that.
26
Madison
“Hey, babe. What’s up?” J answered his phone straight away.
Thank fuck.
“I need you, now.”
He must have sensed the urgency in my voice. “What’s wrong?” It was like he was on instant alert.
“Something’s happened. Between Mum and Dad. It’s bad, babe. Are you close to the clubhouse?”
“Fuck!” he swore. “I’m about ten minutes away. Sit tight. I won’t be long.”
“Okay. Thanks, baby.”
We hung up and I threw my phone in my bag. My mother had left without saying anything to me, and there was no way I was staying inside with my father still there, so I waited outside for J.
He must have sped the rest of the way, because he arrived within five minutes. When he went to cut the engine, I shook my head and indicated that I wanted to leave on his bike. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
I hopped on, and wrapped my arms around his body, nestling my head against his back. He made me feel safe, and in that instant, my heart expanded with love for him. Over the past few months, we’d been navigating the hills and valleys of our relationship. Some of those roads had been rocky, and we had clung to each other. I knew in my gut that we were about to hit a really fucking rugged valley, and that the only way through would be to hold onto J for dear life.
“Scott’s shitty with you and wants to know what you’ve been up to this week. And my father told me to leave it alone and to get you to do the same. What’s going on, J?” We’d made it home, and I was determined to get him to open up to me.
He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked pained. “Babe, this is stuff I don’t want you mixed up in; stuff I don’t want you worrying about.”
“No. We’re together. For the long haul, as you once put it. And I want to have your back, J. So, for me to do that, you’ve gotta start talking.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, and began pacing.
I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. When he finally did start talking, he blew my world apart.
“I don’t want to tell you this. Fuck.” He sat on the couch, pulling me down with him. One hand grasped mine, and the other cupped my cheek. His thumb grazed my lips, and then finally, he spoke. “Mandy is running with a gang involved in drugs, prostitution and armed robberies. There could be other stuff, but that’s what I know of so far. They’re the kind of motherfuckers you don’t mess with, but she’s in deep. She’s been dating their leader, Blade, for the past year or so. He ran a smart operation but has been building his ranks up for a few years now. They’re big enough now that no one really wants to challenge them. Even Black Deeds leave them alone.”
He paused, so I said, “I got the impression from Scott and Dad that they don’t want to either, and I find that hard to believe. Storm is strong enough to do it.”
He nodded, and then said quietly, “There’s another reason why your Dad doesn’t want to take them on, babe. And I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
I had no idea what it could be, and why I wouldn’t like it. “What?”
He blew out a long breath before he continued. “Blade is your half-brother. He’s Marcus’s son.”
The room spun and I struggled to breathe. “What… how? Shit, does my mum know?” My thoughts and words weren’t coherent so I stopped talking.
“Your mother found out today, and I thought your father was going to tell you too—”
“Scott knows, doesn’t he?” I interrupted him.
“Yeah, babe. He’s known for a little while. I found out this week.”
“Does my dad have anything to do with Blade?”
The look that crossed J’s face could only be described as devastated. That was when I knew; that was the moment the love I had for my father crumbled in a bloody mess of lies and deceit.
“Yeah, babe,” he said softly, pulling me into a hug.
I welcomed his arms, his warmth, and sank into his love. We stayed like that for awhile; he gently caressed my hair and pressed his lips to my head. He was my shelter from the storm.
Eventually, I pulled away and asked him to tell me the rest.
“Blade was born after Scott, before you. He’s four years older than you. His mother has been your father’s mistress ever since, although from what I understand, they have been on and off throughout those years. Blade is their only child, and your father has had a relationship with him all his life. Blade has given Marcus his word that Mandy won’t come after you again. Apparently, he wasn’t aware that she was mixed up in all of this. Marcus and Scott have agreed not to pursue her.”
I tried to take all of that in. “And you? Are you going against their orders?”
“I don’t trust that bitch, and I want her taken care of. I’m pissed off that Marcus and Scott have backed off.”
As I listened to what he was saying, I realised that this was the first time he had been so open with me about club stuff. Amongst all the crap we had going on, this was my shining light. It was a pivotal moment in our relationship. I gently laid my palm against his cheek. “Thank you,” I murmured.
He looked confused. “What for?”
I smiled at him. “For telling me all of that even though I know you didn’t want to.”
He covered my hand with his and squeezed it lightly. “You were right to push me. And you were right that I need to tell you what’s going on. Thank you for being patient, baby.”
“I need to go and see Mum,” I said, torn because I wanted to see her but I also wanted to stay right here with J.
“I’ll take you.”
I kissed him and grabbed my bag before heading out. I was apprehensive about what we would find when we got to my parents’ house, but at least I had J with me.
My mother answered the door dressed in a bathrobe. So out of character for her.
“Madison,” she simply said in greeting. Her face was all puffy and she looked like shit, but at least that ugly red welt from where my father had slapped her was gone.
We followed her inside and sat at the kitchen table. My father was noticeably absent. Thank God, because I think I may have punched him if he had been there.
“So, you’ve heard the wonderful news, I take it. You have another brother.” I didn’t fail to note the sarcasm.
“Mum, talk to me,” I pleaded.
J stood up. “I’ll leave so you girls can have a talk,” he offered.
“Sit down, J. You’re part of this family, and as far as I’m concerned, there should be no fucking secrets anymore,” my mother said.
“Did you know before today?” I asked her.
She sighed. “I always suspected your father was playing around.” She shrugged. “It’s what happens in that club. I chose to ignore it. But I had no clue he had a mistress and a child.”
I didn’t wa
nt to ask my next question, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Is that the first time he hit you?”
The way her shoulders slumped, and the sad look that flitted across her face told me what I needed to know. J made a noise and I looked at him. His fists were clenched and he ground his jaw.
“How bad, Mum?” I was so mad at not only my father, but also at myself, for not noticing. I had lived in a happy little bubble that was actually just one big, fat fucking lie.
She sat in front of me, a picture of vulnerability. I watched as she pulled herself together and plastered the stoic look that I knew so well onto her face. “Not as bad as some women receive. And only when I really pushed him.”
Oh, my God. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Are you leaving him?” It was almost a challenge, because I was fairly sure I knew what she had already decided to do.
“No, and I don’t want to hear your opinion on it. Or Scott’s.” Her eyes pierced me with defiance, and I knew there was no point arguing with her. Sharon Cole was not a woman who listened to other’s opinions. But under that mask she wore, I knew there were cracks and all I could hope was that one day she would come to her senses.
27
Jason
It had been three weeks since Madison had discovered her father was a lying, cheating piece of shit. I had watched her struggle with this, and the fact that her mother was staying with him. I had also watched her begin to deal with it. And I couldn’t have been fucking happier about how she was doing that.
My girl kicked ass.
It was a tough fucking pill to swallow when you realised the father you adored wasn’t perfect after all. I knew because I’d been there. That knowledge took a piece of your heart with it, and you couldn’t get it back. Ever.
We’d spent the last three weeks laying low, doing our own thing, away from the club as much as possible. I turned up every day for work, but I stayed out of Marcus’s way. I would have probably knocked the fucker out if I’d run into him. Madison hadn’t seen or spoken to any of her family in the last three weeks. She needed time to work through it all in her head.
The one thing she hadn’t done was turn to alcohol. Sure, she hit as many AA meetings as she could, but mainly, she turned to me. And that was just how I fucking liked it.
We were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning in bed when she stole my heart all over again. “I can’t imagine my life without you, J. Those years we spent apart were some of the hardest years of my life, but I think we needed them. They gave me time to grow up, and become me. And this me is so much better than the old me. This me is in your corner all the way, baby, and won’t leave you ever again.”
I rolled so I was on top of her and pinned her arms above her head, holding them there with one hand, while I moved my other hand to her breast. I dipped my mouth to hers, and took the kiss I desperately needed.
Coming up for air, I grinned at her. “God, I fucking love you, woman.”
“I love you, too, baby. But can you let my hands go? I need to touch you.”
“Wasn’t in my plans, sweetheart, but perhaps you can convince me with your dirty words.”
She lifted her head off the bed to bring her mouth to my ear. As she spoke, her warm breath sent desire straight to my dick, and I was a fucking goner. I didn’t even pay attention to her words; she could have whatever the fuck she wanted.
I let her hands go, and she pressed them both to my chest and pushed me so that I rolled onto my back. The smile playing on her lips was delicious, inviting; I couldn’t wait to see what she had planned for those lips.
She straddled me, her wet pussy teasing my cock as she slowly ground herself against me. Oh, she was a fucking expert at teasing. She rested her palms against my chest and bent forward to trail kisses up my stomach, to my chest. When she reached my nipples, she took one in her mouth and slowly sucked it, and then did the same to the other. Her warm, wet tongue was heaven, and my cock screamed out for it too.
“Baby, I want you to suck my cock,” I said huskily.
She lifted her head and met my eyes. Her mouth spread back into that delicious smile. Yeah, my girl loved my cock. And she was straight on it. Her lips wrapped around me and she sucked me in as far as she could take me, her tongue gliding along my shaft as she went. She continued to suck as her hands massaged my balls. I lifted my hips off the bed, and she moaned as I tried to push my cock even further into her mouth. Madison was skilled at sex, but her talents with her tongue and mouth were by far her best. And I couldn’t fucking get enough.
Just as I felt like I was going to explode, she stopped what she was doing and moved quickly to position my dick at her pussy. I pushed my hips off the bed again and slammed into her. We both cried out at the same time, and the primal need to be on top of her took over. I flipped us and continued to thrust into her. Her legs and arms wrapped around me, and she held on while I fucked her.
Our lovemaking may have been wild and frenzied, but it was full of love and passion. Some people showed their love with gentle and tender moments; Madison and I only knew one speed in everything we did in life. And doing it all together, we fit together perfectly in our imperfect love.
* * *
Madison
* * *
I squealed in delight. “So, you’re definitely coming this weekend?”
Serena giggled on the other end of the phone. “Yes, chica. This weekend. It’s a date.”
Finally! She was finally able to visit after not being able to make it since I had moved back. I missed her so much and I could hardly contain my happiness. We finished our conversation and I smiled to myself. I was giddy, and I didn’t do giddy. But J and Serena had turned me today.
He and I had just had amazing sex. God, I loved his cock. And, yeah that made me feel giddy all over again. Fuck, I needed to rein this shit in. I heard him turn off the shower, so I headed towards the bedroom. I needed to lay my greedy eyes on his body again.
As I walked past the spare bedroom, I noticed the curtain blowing in the wind. Strange. We never opened that window. I went in and shut it. J must have opened it for some reason. Having dealt with the window, my mind wandered back to J. I was so in love with that man. Unconditionally. And it felt amazing.
I hit the bedroom and came to an abrupt and chilling stop. Mandy was in the bedroom with a gun trained on J. My heart started beating hard and fast. My mouth went dry and my legs felt weak.
Fuck!
She was ranting crap at him. I could hardly make out her words; she was in a crazy state. Oh, my God, our lives were in her psychotic hands.
As soon as she saw me, she turned and pointed the gun at me.
“You’re gonna die, bitch!” she screamed.
“Let J go and I’m all yours.” I needed to know he would be safe. I couldn’t bear to think he would die because of me.
“Madi—” he started to say, but she cut him off.
Swinging to look at him, she yelled, “Shut the fuck up!” and then she swung back to me, her gun slashing through the air every time she moved. “And, no, he’s not fucking leaving!”
“Okay. Mandy—” I began, and now she cut me off. Turned out the bitch wasn’t interested in anything we had to say.
“You fucking took my brother away from me.” She jabbed the gun in my direction, and I prayed it didn’t go off, while mentally filing through options to get us out of this shit. “He loved you, and you broke his fucking heart.”
What the fuck? Nix didn’t love anyone. He just liked to control them.
Suddenly there was another presence in the room. I looked around, and came face to face with the spitting image of my father.
Blade.
The air whooshed out of my lungs, and I felt unstable. It was not how I pictured meeting him for the first time. He must have noticed because he reached out to steady me.
His eyes left mine and focused on Mandy. “You need to put the fucking gun down, and step over here,” he spoke, his voice cold and harsh.
It
was like he had a hypnotic effect on her, because she instantly calmed, and I saw doubt shadow her face. Her hand that was holding her gun began to lower. Just when I thought we had her, J lunged at her, and she turned to him. Time slowed right down for the next few seconds. It was one of those instances where you knew what was going to happen, and although you needed to stop it, there just wasn’t time.
The gun went off, and J dropped to the ground, blood everywhere.
“No!” I screamed, and fell to my knees, scrambling to get to him.
Blade tackled Mandy, and another gunshot sounded. I had no idea who shot whom, or what happened; I was totally focused on J and the blood soaking through his shirt.
Time passed in a blur.
Sirens sounded.
People came into the room, and took J away.
My father turned up.
Scott arrived.
People spoke to me.
I didn’t remember any of it.
J was gone.
28
Madison
Four months later
“So, sis, tell me who all these people are,” Blade said, handing me a barbequed sausage on bread.
I angled my head to look at him. He was a tall guy, and well built. His eyes were the same colour as our fathers, a gorgeous green. He had also inherited the olive skin and dark hair that my father had. I hadn’t met his mother, and I wondered what he had been blessed with from her.
We’d been spending time getting to know each other since J and Mandy were shot. I hadn’t wanted to, but he’d pushed the point. And Blade wasn’t a man who didn’t get his way. I was slowly learning that. Why did I have to be surrounded by men like that? Why couldn’t I have just one man in my life who I could boss around?
I pointed out a couple of the guys and told him a little about each one. He surprised me with his desire to know me, and to be a part of my life. Scott was distant with him, and Blade didn’t try to force a relationship there. Perhaps it would come one day. Who knew what was in store for any of us? That was something I had really learned this year.