Saving Verakko: The Clecanian Series Book 3

by Victoria Aveline

  For every second of every day I’m alive. He took a step toward her and tried to work out what he should say. She was already so wary of him and skittish of relationships in general. Would she want to hear the truth? “I’d follow you anywhere, mivassi. If your face is the only one I see for the rest of my life, I’ll die a happy male.”

  Her chin trembled, and she sniffed. “What happens if you break your contract but don’t reveal your marks?”

  “Eventually, once I do reveal them, we’d be allowed to be together as mates, but otherwise I’d never be allowed to get married again. And I’d be sent away. For years. Unless the laws change, you’d be forced to marry once per year while I’m away.”

  His throat tightened. To not see her for years? To know she’d be forced to marry at least two other males and be powerless to do anything about it? What if he returned to find her smitten with someone else? Or worse…gone. She’d pointed out something to him he hadn’t yet considered. Lily wasn’t required to remain on Clecania after her year was over. Would she leave? “If that’s what you need, I’ll do it.”

  Her features softened. She crossed her arms around her waist. “You’d do that for me? Even though you could force me to be with you by revealing your marks?”

  Verakko let out a rough bark of laughter. “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I have arguments with myself every few minutes about doing just that. It’s unnatural for me to hold back. It’s not what’s supposed to happen. Mates have always felt the pull equally. There is no doubt.” He closed the distance between them, relieved she didn’t step away, and rested his hands on her upper arms. “Every part of me knows you’re mine. But I want all of you, and I know that if I force you into it, a part of you will always resent me.”

  “And if I agree to be with you, there’s no going back? Even if we become unhappy?”

  “Never,” he said truthfully. “I’m barely holding myself back from you even now. If you tell me you’ll be mine, that’ll be it for me. I’ll never be able to let you go. But I will do everything in my power to make sure you never become unhappy.”

  “And I only have two weeks to decide,” she whispered to herself.

  “I’m set to be married in two weeks, but it’d be best if we didn’t live together after my mother announces your existence to the city. If I saw other males trying to court you, I…” Verakko let his hands drop, worried he’d accidentally squeeze her too tight at the thought. “It’d be better for everyone if I wasn’t there to see it.”

  Lily stared at the ground and nodded silently. Her brows were drawn, and she nibbled her lip, the way she always did whenever she was thinking hard about something, but there was such miserable conflict on her face as well. He lifted her chin until she met his eyes, and his chest constricted. She’d had an elixir while at the medbay, yet she looked more exhausted than ever.

  “Why don’t I take you to your room and let you get some sleep?”

  Lily let out a sigh. “I doubt I’m gonna be sleeping anytime soon.”

  Verakko pushed his luck and swept her long hair off her face, then cupped her cheek. A purr lit in his chest when her eyes slowly shut at the contact. I still have a chance. “Let me help. I can sway you to fall asleep.”

  “Verakko, I…” she began to argue, her gaze becoming stern, but then her face fell and she groaned. “Actually, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

  He led her up the stairs to his room. He should’ve led her to the room he’d prepared for Ziri, but something about putting her into his bed had felt right. Verakko frowned as they reached the door. Did that mean he’d have to sleep in the other room?

  In the forest, he and Lily had slept close together. He’d held her in his arms the last two nights, something he’d never imagined he’d be able to do with a female. Lily hadn’t indicated it was odd for her. Did human couples share beds the way he knew some other alien cultures did?

  When they reached the darkened room, she turned to him and her cheeks pinkened. “Do you have anything else I can wear?”

  His shoulders slumped a little. Why would she pick him if he couldn’t show her he’d provide for her? The damn clothiers of this city insisted on selling clothes the ancient way, in physical stores rather than virtually, and he’d only had time to pick one outfit for each of them before returning to her. “My shirt?” he offered, whipping it off just in case. “I haven’t moved any clothes in yet. I’ll make sure to get more tomorrow. You can pick them out if you’d like.”

  Lily eyed his shirt, then took it. “Thanks.”

  She fiddled with the clasp at her waist. He should leave now, give her some privacy, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  The clasp remained locked in place and she let out a huff, tossing his shirt on the bed to get a better grip on the small piece of gold metal. She peered up at him, cheeks now red. “I got it off earlier, but the damn thing won’t— Ow!”

  He sped toward her. She lifted her finger to her mouth and sucked on it while glaring at her own waist.

  He bit his lip to keep from grinning. “Can I?” he said, gesturing at her waist.

  She crinkled her brows and studied him while still sucking on her injured finger. Slowly, she nodded.

  The metal of the clasp had caught in an odd way, forcing him to snap it in two. He swept the fabric behind her back and gazed down at her. She was so close. He could wrap an arm around her waist and pull her in for a kiss so easily.

  She peered up into his eyes when he didn’t move away, and he saw her breathing deepen. With slow movements, he ran his hands up to the clasp on her left arm, then let the fabric fall open.

  He held her gaze and moved to unhook the clasp on her other arm, then the one on her back. He let his hands linger on the small of her back and tugged her in close. Her hands came up to rest on his shoulders. Verakko tried to shake himself. He couldn’t imagine how overwhelmed and emotional Lily might be feeling right now, and he was taking advantage. He rolled the fabric down over her waist and let it pool on the ground at her feet.

  He kept his eyes on hers and stifled a groan when her gaze flicked toward his mouth.

  But dammit, he was feeling the same way she was, except he also had the added frustration of experiencing the ache of not claiming his mate.

  Her lips parted on an exhale. He let out a defeated growl and pulled her flush against him. The feel of her soft breasts on his bare chest had his cock shooting hard in an instant. He gripped her around the back of her neck and slanted his mouth over hers. A groan tore from him at the ecstasy of her small tongue swiping against his. She slid her arms around his neck, lifting to her toes and driving him crazy with the slow, lusty swipes of her tongue. The faint scent of her arousal was masked under the thick underwear he’d given her. His fingers itched to rip them off.

  He let his rattling purr rumble against their connected bodies and smirked at her answering gasp. He forced her backward while deepening the kiss until her backside hit the edge of the bed. His large bed had been crafted especially for his frame and rose to Lily’s waist. Gripping her hips, he lifted her onto the bed, then hooked an arm around her lower back and pulled her hips against his.

  When he ground his hard length against the sensitive spot at the apex of her thighs, she released a moan so sweet he might’ve come right there. But then she pulled away.

  Breathing hard, she stared up into his eyes. He had her hips pinned open against his and leaned his upper body over her, so she propped her arms behind her and leaned away. He exhaled a growl at what he saw in her stare. Clarity.

  “Before, you said this wasn’t allowed. I’m assuming that has something to do with your engagement.”

  Verakko forced himself to answer honestly, though his contractual obligations to another female were the last thing he wanted to talk about at that particular moment. “Before I knew you were my mate…” He emphasized the word and forced his gaze to remain on her face and not slither down to see her exposed body now open to vie
w. “Ziritha knows I’m here with you. This is technically a violation, but—”

  Lily shook her head and interrupted. “I don’t want to hurt any woman by doing this with you right now, in her house no less.”

  Verakko scowled. “This isn’t hurting anyone. Ziri doesn’t see me or this place like that.” How to make her understand that the betrayal Lily thought Ziritha may feel was so far from the truth.

  Lily stared at his mouth for a moment, and he thought she may reconsider, but then her brows drew together and she plucked his shirt from where he’d thrown it. “I hear what you’re telling me logically, but I still have a lifetime of Earth experience making me feel shitty about this. Until I see for myself that people who are married don’t have bonds like I’m used to, I don’t think we should do this.”

  He growled and snatched the shirt out of her hands.

  “Verakko,” she said in a warning tone. She reached for the shirt and missed, jiggling her breasts in a devastating way in the process.

  Frown securely in place and balls aching with unrelieved lust already, he righted the shirt and held it above her head. He sent her a frustrated look and saw a small smile playing at her lips before she lifted her arms and allowed him to slide the shirt down. He’d committed a few crimes in the past week, but covering up her glorious body felt like the worst one yet.

  He took his time pulling the fabric down to her hips, making sure to brush his knuckles against her nipples as he did. She shivered at the contact. When his shirt was on, he rested his balled fists on either side of her hips and focused on her face, letting her see his frustration. To be fair, he supposed he deserved it.

  They remained silent for a while, just staring, the air between them tense.

  “May I sleep here with you, Lily?”

  She bit the inside of her cheek and considered him.

  She neither agreed nor refused when she said, “I’m still mad at you.”

  The small uttered statement stung more than it should’ve. Her words lacked venom, but he could hear the truth behind them. Mad wasn’t the right emotion. It was a mask for hurt. The type of hurt that would be the biggest obstacle against him. What he’d done to her for the past week might not have cut her deeply enough to sever ties with him, but it would seed doubt. The kind of doubt that would take longer than he had to squash.

  To his mivassi, with all her considerable know-how and abiding confidence, doubt in her own feelings toward him would hurt his cause more than anything.

  “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me.”

  Lily swallowed but said nothing.

  “I’ll start now by helping you fall asleep.” He straightened and watched as she buried herself under a mound of blankets. Removing his pants, he slipped into bed beside her and programmed the lights to dim.

  Hoping beyond hope she’d allow it, he pulled her in close to his chest and swept the hair from her neck. If she minded his shaft, now fully erect again and cradled against her bottom, she didn’t say. He ran his nose along the column of her neck and felt goosebumps erupt over her arms.

  “Ready?”

  She hesitated a moment, each millisecond of doubt in him another blow to the gut. One day they’d get to a place where she trusted him implicitly again, and until then, he’d need to be patient. At length, she nodded.

  “Sleep deeply, mivassi, and have only pleasant dreams. You’ll wake in the morning renewed and ready for a long day.” He continued to sway the last words after her body had grown limp and her breathing even.

  Verakko remained in place, petting her hair and running his knuckles over her cheek, all while thinking of ways he could expedite her decision.

  A thought struck him and he disregarded it, but it continued to flicker to the forefront of his thoughts, demanding to be considered. It may not go over well at first, but it could end up being just the thing she needed to understand. She might not believe him about the position he was in, yet there was one person she would believe.

  Verakko slipped his arm from under Lily’s head and retrieved his communicator from the kitchen.

  After a few moments, the call connected. “I need a favor.”

  Chapter 21

  Lily pulled a fluffy pillow into her chest and squeezed. The cool fabric felt heavenly against her warm chest, and she snuggled farther into her covers. Covers?

  Her eyes flew open, and she bolted upright. As her vision cleared and she saw the large bed, shining stone floor, and blue-gray walls, she recalled where she was. She flopped back down onto the mattress and took a few deep breaths to relax her racing heart.

  The scent of flowers hung heavy. Lily scanned the room but couldn’t find any discernible source. Did it get vented in or something?

  When she was sure Verakko was in fact gone, she pulled his shirt, which she was still wearing, over her nose and inhaled deeply. It was more faint than normal, but the smoky scent she loved so much clung to the fabric and soothed her.

  She laid there gazing up at the ceiling with her shirt over her nose and mentally scanned her body. No soreness in her back, no lingering aches or pains from the forest. On the whole, she was deliciously comfortable and relaxed. Verakko’s sway was better than her ambient noise machine. Or Ambien, for that matter.

  If I stay with him, I bet I could get him to do it every night.

  Lily thought about everything that’d happened yesterday. All of their fighting, his revelations, and the unexpected moment of intimacy they’d shared last night. Although they’d argued for most of the day, the heated conversations between her and Verakko almost felt right. Like they were working toward something by fighting rather than tearing each other down with their words. Discontent trickled into her thoughts. Why did it feel so natural to forgive him and move on? Do I feel the bond like he said?

  She and Verakko had something special; she wasn’t blind to it. Could that be enough to be happy forever? If this were a familiar type of Earth relationship, she’d probably have decided to let him suffer for a few more days before ultimately forgiving him, but the stakes were higher here. If she opened herself up to him again, there would be no going back. No breaking up. No divorce. Not if she cared at all about his well-being.

  Am I ready for that?

  Lily almost didn’t notice the room growing brighter and brighter. When it finally was bright enough to make her squint, she looked toward the source in confusion and saw a glorious sight. What she’d thought was a solid wall had transitioned into one large, transparent window.

  Lily slid off the bed and took in the view. It was so unearthly. She’d seen black sand beaches before, but she’d never seen anything like the utterly bare, rolling black sand desert before her. The sky was cloudless and bright blue, yet it still didn’t quite look like a sunny day. Something about the bleakness of the glittering sand, stretching as far as the eye could see, made the day appear menacing.

  Another whiff of a mishmash of floral scents hit her nose, and she grimaced. It must be coming from somewhere.

  Lily padded down to the first floor and found Verakko huddled over a pile of what she guessed were some kind of electronics parts. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard her come in, and she couldn’t stop the grin that spread over her face.

  He wore a very odd set of glasses that doubled as small screens. Every time he shifted his focus, the lens would zoom toward his face then away, trying to magnify whatever he was looking at. Small symbols could be seen flying across one of the small lenses, while the other remained blank. The combination of the eccentric glasses and his heavily muscled, shirtless torso was a gorgeous sight.

  Verakko flipped off the glasses and leapt over the back of the couch. His hands reached out as though to grab her, but then he pulled them back and awkwardly placed them on his hips before dropping them to his sides. He beamed at her without speaking until she felt her cheeks grow hot and had to look away.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, waving to the small fragments, o
ne of which was now smoking slightly.

  “I, uh…” Verakko glanced to his work area, then did a double take and rushed over to smother the burning piece with a small cloth nearby. “It’s a surprise. For you.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” As soon as the words came out, a chorus of little voices in her head berated her. She loved presents, no matter the size or cost. Growing up, her parents had rarely exchanged gifts. Especially not ones that had no use.

  Verakko chuckled and backed toward the small table they’d dined at the night before, now sharing the space with one large couch. “Well, I still might not. Those parts are very outdated. I went to rummage through my old storage cube, and that’s all I had, so…” He shrugged and motioned to a plate on the table.

  Lily’s stomach gave a rumble in answer. She sat at the table and tried to keep her emotions on an even keel, though all she wanted to do was be happy, give in.

  This is how all relationships start. I can’t decide anything during the honeymoon phase. What happens when that wears off or I get antsy or he does something unforgivable?

  Lily glanced down and confirmed that her plate was empty.

  Verakko handed her a tall, thin glass of pink liquid and gave her a lopsided smile. “It’s wanget.” When she raised a brow in question, he explained, “The pink fruit from the forest.”

  Despite herself, Lily frowned, and her stomach gave an angry gurgle. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, not wanting to seem ungrateful. “I don’t know if I can eat another one of those so long as I live.”

  Instead of being disappointed or offended, Verakko laughed and circled behind her chair. He leaned down, and she thought she felt him smell her hair before speaking into her ear. “I know, I know. Just trust me. There’s a beverage made from the fruit. This is the type without alcohol.”

  Lily took a long breath to settle her stomach, then took a small sip. The fruit she’d eaten for weeks on end had always been just a little too bitter to be deemed enjoyable. The sparkling juice she drank now was what that fruit had always been meant to be. Sweet and light with a hint of tartness.