Building a Criminal Empire

by Logan Jacobs

  The elves are scared, Wade, the keys whispered in my mind.

  They better be.

  “As a reminder on the importance of defeating murderers, like these four here, we are going to leave them right where they hang for an entire week.” Vardreth gestured to the Elven Guard, who then began to detach the platforms from the wagons so they couldn’t be moved. “Let these four represent a beacon of unity!”

  Most of the surrounding crowd remained calm, but a few wiped tears away from their eyes, held their children close, and whispered their own anti-elven responses under their breaths.

  “After a day like today, the Empire felt it was time to throw a Realm-wide celebration to honor the unbreakable unity between the night and day elves. Because with united elves, there is a united realm behind us.” The commander gestured to the crowd. “A week from today, the first annual Eclipse Festival will take place among these streets. It’ll be a day when the sun and moon become one. With that, we expect greatness from all of you. Each district will have a specific responsibility that we will assign. If you are a business owner, expect a letter to arrive by tomorrow with your instructions from the Empire.”

  “Uh, geez,” Dar grumbled along with a few others in the crowd.

  “We thank you for your attention and cooperation,” Vardreth said as he gestured to the four bloody bodies dangling above him. “Remember, without unity, death is your destiny.”

  Then the commander hopped down from the platform as the elven horn sounded again.

  “Disperse!” the guards shouted as they herded the crowd in different directions until the streets slowly began to clear. Then the elves returned to their horses and rode off down the road as if nothing even happened.

  Dar and I just stared at the four bodies and blood stained platforms in the middle of the road.

  “This might hinder our theatre re-launch a bit.” Dar nodded toward the bodies.

  “We’ll deal with that later.” My eyes landed on Rindell, who speed walked toward us. I could see her eyes were full of tears, and her fists were clenched at her sides.

  “Ready to meet the dwarf?” Dar asked and hopped down from the bench.

  “How much time do we have?” I muttered as I kept my eyes on the approaching Madame.

  “A good hour, maybe a little less until noon,” Dar said as he looked up at the sun’s position to gauge the time.

  “Good,” I said and nodded toward Rindell.

  “Ah, yeah,” Dar said as he finally saw her. “Makes sense she’d want to have a chat after all of that.”

  “Yep,” I sighed, and then braced myself for the Madame’s arrival.

  “Don’t you move!” Madame huffed as she passed the food wagon.

  “We aren’t goin’ anywhere.” Dar gestured for her to slow down.

  “You fuc--” She raised her hand and attempted to slap me in the face, but I caught her hand mid-air.

  “Madame, please,” I said as I lowered her hand without squeezing too hard.

  “Do you have any idea wha--” Before she could even finish her thought, she broke down in tears and nearly fell over.

  “Sit, sit,” I muttered and guided her to the bench.

  “Do you want a sandwich?” Dar held the stinky egg sandwich up to her face.

  “Don’t…” I shook my head at the halfling, swiped the sandwich from him, and tossed it away. Then I turned to face the sobbing Madame. “Those people’s deaths are not on you.”

  After a few moments of crying, Rindell steadied herself, pulled out her fan, and narrowed her eyes at me.

  “You think I’m crying over them?” Madame glanced behind her to where the bodies hung like forgotten party decorations. “Was I that believable?”

  “Wow.” Dar scratched at his neck.

  “You both had a hand in destroying my business, and you think I’m upset about sending a few assholes to their deaths?” She scoffed and then adjusted her dress to reveal more cleavage. “The elves will kill us all, anyway.”

  “Did you know the commander was going to ask you to judge the others?” Dar asked.

  “No,” Rindell said as she closed her eyes. “I only did what I was asked to do, but as soon as I saw you in the crowd, I knew I made the right decision.”

  “Did you?” I asked as I saw the bitch return to her usual self.

  “Well, isn’t it obvious?” She cleared her throat. “I helped you stay alive darlin’, so now you’re gonna help me.”

  Chapter 2

  “Uh, well,” I said as I sat down next to Madame Rindell on the bench. “I want you to--”

  “Do you know what a ten-hour questioning from an elf is like?” Rindell cut me off as she fanned herself.

  “I can’t say that I do,” I replied, even though I did.

  “Ten hours of elven bullshit, Wade.” She tilted her head back, put her fan up to her neck, and pretended to slit her throat. “All I could think about was my ruined business as the pointy-eared dick threw question after question at me like I was the one who burnt it down myself. Asshole.”

  “Again, I--” I began, but she cut me off again.

  “I begged and screamed for sweet relief, but I still kept my mouth shut about what I really knew.” Rindell widened her eyes as if she were anticipating a surprise. “Do you want to know why?”

  “I do,” Dar answered for me.

  “Before I tell you both why, I hope you realize something about me,” she said as she leaned back on the bench. “I know a lot more than you think I know.”

  “Do you now?” I questioned and then glanced to Dar. “Why don’t you fill us in on what you know?”

  “Without discussing what you’ll do for me first?” Madame smirked and then gestured to Dar. “Wouldn’t that be silly?”

  “Uh, sure?” Dar shrugged.

  “I think we’re beyond games at this point.” I scooted closer and hovered my mouth right next to her ear. “Tell me, what do you think you know?”

  “Mmm,” she moaned as she rubbed her arms. “That look in your eye, handsome. So heated. So angry. You gave me goosebumps, and not a lot of men do that to me these days. I bet you’re a stud in the--”

  “Answer his question,” Dar cut her off with a groan.

  “Fine, darlin’,” she said as she started to fan herself again. “I know you set up that elf and that you have the real painting they’re looking for.”

  “The commander knows the painting was a fake?” Dar urged as he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. I knew what he was thinking: at least she didn’t know about the whiskey business.

  “Of course he does,” Madame giggled. “He knew as soon as he took a better look at it after he arrested the crazy elf.”

  “How do you know this?” I asked.

  “I was right next to him demanding the Empire rebuild my destroyed business,” Madame sighed. “They wouldn’t do that, though. It’s not like they even care. All the commander cares about is finding the real painting and the real thief.”

  “Did he have any other leads?” I questioned.

  “Now, darlin’,” Rindell arched an eyebrow, “what do you think today was all about?”

  “He was trying to get those leads out of you?” I guessed. “Send a message?”

  “Now you’re using that beautiful brain of yours,” Rindell chuckled dryly before she touched my hand and squeezed.

  “Why do you think we still have the painting?” I asked as I pulled my hand away from hers.

  “C’mon now, honey,” she tilted her head toward me, “I may be older than you, but I’m still a smart hen.”

  “Then enlighten me,” I suggested.

  “Why else would you need to set up a meeting with that elven bastard who was executed earlier?” Rindell arched both of her eyebrows. “I already knew he was under investigation for stealing the painting before he ever stepped foot inside my hall. Elves are the most bored creatures I’ve ever met, and that boredom causes them to have loose lips in bed, darlin’.”


  “Eck, gross.” Dar grimaced.

  “All they can talk about is the drama within the elven culture and how disgusting everyone else is,” Rindell scoffed.

  “That still doesn’t answer my question, though,” I said as I rested my leg on top of my other knee. “Why do you think we still have the painting?”

  “I don’t know if you still have it,” Rindell shrugged, “but I know you had it at one time or another. If you do still have it, you should probably get rid of it as soon as possible. Unless you have someone else you want to set up?”

  “Maybe we’ll set you up?” Dar chuckled.

  “Now, wouldn’t that be funny?” Madame forced a cackle. “I wouldn’t try anything else that you’d regret against me, though.”

  “We aren’t afraid of you, Madame,” I began, “but we don’t want to harm you in any way, okay? We’ve worked well together in the past, and--”

  “I know you would if I got in the way, right?” Rindell smirked slightly. “You can’t have any unneeded risks in whatever it is you’re up to, and I bet you’re labeling me as one of those risks as we speak, aren’t ya?”

  “I’m actually hoping I don’t have to do that,” I said flatly. “Now, what else do you think you know?”

  “I know you’ve been busy pissing off the elves with something, and whatever that is, is probably making you a lot of coin,” Rindell began. “I actually knew that the instant my favorite red-head of yours approached me about being a dancer, and when you joined us the next day all worried about the elf and the new commander showing up, that all but confirmed it for me. Your little pixie hates me, and hates my place, but she’d do anything to protect your handsome face. But that was just the first tell. You see, I’ve dealt with a lot of thieves, killers, gamblers, and scum in this realm, but not everyone has the balls to scam the elven assholes. Unless they believe they have the power and resources to win. Do you have that, Wade?”

  “The power and resources?” I eyed her as she looked off into the distance like she expected someone to arrive.

  “I don’t know if you do, yet…” Rindell returned her eyes to me, “but I must say, I’m impressed with your set of balls. Mmm… the things I’d do to get my tongue on th--”

  “Okay, is that it?” I cut the horny old bitch off. As much as I liked hearing about how big my balls were, I needed some answers from her. She proved to me that she could keep her mouth shut if she wanted, but I wasn’t sure I could trust her.

  “Is that all I know?” Madame giggled. “Isn’t that enough evidence to have on you?”

  “Not necessarily,” I replied. “As far as I’m concerned, you don’t have any proof of anything.”

  “I’m the only proof the commander needs to start another investigation,” Rindell said as she lowered her fan just below her gray eyes. “If you think for one second the commander actually believes he killed the right people today, you are very mistaken.”

  “What do you mean?” Dar demanded.

  “I’m starting to think you both feel the same way about me as the commander does.” Rindell pursed her lips.

  “If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I don’t think or feel like an elf,” Dar scoffed.

  “How about you, Wade?” Rindell chuckled. “Do you think I’m some dumb mama whore with just enough brains to trick other whores into making me a bunch of coin?”

  “I don’t think that,” I said. “Clarify for me what exactly it is you want to explain.”

  “Mister Commander Elf thought he was playing me like a halfling fiddle when he had me perform the judgments today,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “He thought I’d break after killing a few innocent people, just like you thought I was broken when you tried to calm me down afterward.”

  “You just went along with it, we got that part, and as awful as it sounds, we’re both very thankful for your cold-hearted thespian skills,” I drawled with a raised eyebrow.

  “I bet you are, darlin’,” she began and nodded behind her. “Without my cold heart, yours would be dead right about now.”

  “You were saying something about the commander knowing he killed the wrong people today?” I tried to steer her thoughts back to where I wanted them.

  “That’s right,” Madame chuckled.

  “Even Taranath?” I asked.

  “That’s the dead elf, right?” she wondered.

  I nodded.

  “During the ten-hour questioning I endured on your behalf, the commander informed me that this Taranath was definitely set up by the human in my dancehall that day.” Rindell smiled wide. “But the angry elf screwed himself when he went all magical, blew everything up, allowed the human to escape, and killed a few elves in the process. How lucky are you?”

  “He doesn’t know who that human was?” I asked as I took a deep breath.

  “I think he has an idea,” she nodded toward me, “but he has no proof, and he’s an uptight elf always preaching justice even behind closed doors. So, he won’t make any arrests without proof, dear.”

  “I know,” I pursed my lips, “but you think you’re the only proof he needs? Why’s that?”

  “Because,” she pouted her lips, “what if all those killings finally broke me like he intended, I come to my senses, and confess I didn’t tell him everything I know?”

  “He’d string you up on one of those polls, too,” Dar snickered.

  “Not if I made a deal with him, or maybe,” Rindell scrunched her lips and twisted them from side to side, “I send one of my girls to testify for me.”

  “You’re so sure he’d believe you or one of your girls without hesitating?” I questioned.

  “No, he’d definitely hesitate, but it would be enough for him to start sticking his pointy nose in places you don’t want him, darlin’.” She leaned in close and sniffed me. “I know you wouldn’t want that.”

  “Then what’s stopping you?” I asked.

  “Aw, well, I like you, Wade.” Rindell pursed her lips together as if she were about to kiss me. “Not only that, but I did it because my instincts told me to, and my instincts are rock solid, darlin’. So, when they tell me something, I make sure and listen.”

  “What’re they telling you now?” I questioned.

  “Ahh, they just start buzzin’ whenever I’m around you,” Rindell said as she brushed a gray strand of hair out of her eye. “They’re telling me you can help me. So, how are you going to do that?”

  “Hmph.” I smirked as I looked toward Dar. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I want my dancehall rebuilt, handsome,” Rindell began. “I have a whole lot of girls with no place to go right now. That means mama here is not making any coin, and that needs to change real fast. The way I see it, you’re the reason I’m not making any coin and why these girls are now homeless.”

  “I understand,” I nodded, “but that can’t happen.”

  “Now, darlin’,” she said as she wagged her finger in my face, “that’s unacceptable, and if you think I’ll just go away, you are sorely mistaken.”

  “I’m not saying that at all,” I said. “But if you expect me to cough up a few hundred gold and just hand it to you, then you are also sorely mistaken.”

  “My instincts say you could do that if you really wanted to, Wade.” Rindell winked at me and touched my cheek. “I can see you have something else in mind, though?”

  “I do,” I began with a confident smirk. “As I told you before, I appreciate everything you did for us, but you also didn’t have to accept our coin that day in your dancehall.”

  “Are you saying I should’ve known better?” Rindell scoffed as she removed her hand from my cheek. “The nerve on you.”

  “Explain to me how I’m wrong,” I said as I shrugged.

  “I trusted that you wouldn’t destroy my entire business,” she muttered and furrowed her brow. “Sure, I accepted your coin, but I didn’t think my entire place would be burnt to a crisp an hour later.”

  “And that’s why
I still want to help you,” I offered.

  “Well, start explaining on what exactly you have in mind then,” she said as she turned to Dar. “Or I may have to earn some money with this small one here.”

  “Fuck off, crazy,” Dar grunted and then stepped back.

  “Or maybe Penny can work off your debt?” She grinned.

  “No one is working off any debt, Madame,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “I have a better idea.”

  I knew how valuable a place like Rindell’s could be and not just for coin. Her dancehall was a hub of valuable information from all over the realm, and that included elven information. If we could stay multiple steps ahead of the commander, then that to me was more valuable than gold.

  “Oh?” Rindell sat up straighter, folded her fan, and set it in her lap. “Do share.”

  “What if we went into business together?”

  “Eh, as much as I enjoy seeing your handsome face,” she said as she tapped the tip of my nose, “I wouldn’t enjoy sharing my profits with you, darlin.’”

  “Even if I paid for an even bigger and nicer hall to be built for you?” I added.

  “You’d cover the complete cost?” she asked as she raised her painted on eyebrows that looked like fuzzy caterpillars.

  “I’d cover it all,” I said, “and I’d make sure you’re in a prime location, maybe even down here in the Entertainment District.”

  “I’ve always wanted a place down here,” Rindell mused and tapped her chin in thought. “What’s the catch, handsome?”

  “The catch is that we take a small percentage of your profits and--”

  “Ah, this must be a big ‘and,’” she interrupted as she picked up her fan again. “If it is, then that percentage you take from me better be a small number.”

  “It depends on how you look at it, but I don’t think it’s that big,” I began. “I would need your girls to pick the brains of each of your clients, especially the elven kind, and feed us that information.”

  “Hmm.” She narrowed her eyes as a smile spread across her lips. “And how about that percentage?”

  “Twenty,” I said.

  “Nope,” she chuckled, but I already knew she would reject the offer.