The Mirror of Kong Ho

by Ernest Bramah

  LETTER V

  Concerning the neglect of ancestors and its discreditable consequences. Two who state the matter definitely. Concerning the otherside way of looking at things and the self-contradictory bearing of the maiden Florence.

  VENERATED SIRE,--A discovery of overwhelming malignity oppresses me. Inspite of much baffling ambiguity and the frequent evasion of consciousguilt, there can be no longer any reasonable doubt that these barbariansDO NOT WORSHIP THEIR ANCESTORS!

  Hitherto the matter had rested in my mind as an uneasy breath ofsuspicion, agitated from time to time by countless indications thatsuch a possibility might, indeed, exist in a condensed form, but tooinauspiciously profane to be contemplated in the altogether. Thus, whenin the company of the young this person has walked about the streetsof the city, he may at length have said, "Truly, out of your amiablecondescension, you have shown me a variety of entrancing scenes. Letus now in turn visit the tombs of your ancestors, to the end that I maytransmit fitting gifts to their spirits and discharge a few propitiousfireworks as a greeting." Yet in no case has this well-intentionedoffer been agilely received, one asserting that he did not knowthe resting-place of the tombs in question, a second that he had noancestors, a third that Kensal Green was not an entrancing spot fora wet afternoon, a fourth that he would see them removed to a greaterdistance first, another that he drew the line at mafficking in acemetery, and the like. These things, it may occur to your omniscience,might in themselves have been conclusive, yet the next reference to thematter would perhaps be tending to a more alluring hope.

  "To-morrow," a person has remarked in the hearing of this one, "I goto the Stratford which is upon the Avon, and without a pause I shallprostrate myself intellectually before the immortal Shakespeare's tomband worship his unequalled memory."

  "The intention is benevolently conceived," I remarked. "Yet has he nodescendants, this same Shakespeare, that the conciliation of his spiritmust be left to chance?"

  When he assured me that this calamity had come about, I would have addeda richly-gilded brick from my store for transmission also, in the hopethat the neglected and capricious shadow would grant me an immunity fromits resentful attention, but the one in question raised a barrier ofdissent. If I wished to adorn a tomb, he added (evading the deepersignificance of the act), there was that of Goldsmith within its Temple,upon which many impressionable maidens from across the Bitter Waters ofthe West make it a custom to deposit chaplets of verses, in the hopeof seeing the offering chronicled in the papers; and in the Open Spacecalled Trafalgar there were the images of a great captain who led manyjunks to victory and the Emperor of a former dynasty, where doubtlessthe matter could be arranged; but the surrounding had by this timebecome too involved, and this person had no alternative but to smilesymmetrically and reply that his words were indeed opals falling from atopaz basin.

  Later in the day, being desirous of becoming instructed more definitely,I addressed myself to a venerable person who makes clean the passage ofthe way at a point not far distant.

  "If you have no sons to extend your industrious line," I said, when hehad revealed this fact to me, "why do you not adopt one to that end?"

  With narrow-minded covetousness, he replied that nowadays he had enoughto do to keep himself, and that it would be more reasonable to get someone to adopt HIM.

  "But," I exclaimed, ignoring this ill-timed levity, "who, when youhave Passed Beyond, will worship you and transmit to your spirit thenecessities of life?"

  "Governor," he replied, using the term of familiar dignity, "I've madeshift without being worshipped for five and sixty years, and it worriesme a sight more to know who will transmit to my body the necessities oflife until I HAVE Passed Beyond."

  "The final consequences of your self-opinionated carelessness," thisperson continued, "will be that your neglected and unprovided shadow,finding itself no longer acceptable to the society of the betterclass demons, will wander forth, and allying itself in despair to thecompanionship of a band of outcasts like itself, will be driven to dwellin unclean habitations and to subsist on the uncertain bounty of thecharitable."

  "Very likely," replied the irredeemable person before me. "I can't helpits troubles. I have to do all that myself as it is."

  Doubtless this fanaticism contains the secret of the ease with whichthese barbarians have possessed themselves of the greater part of theearth, and have even planted their assertive emblems on one or two spotsin our own Flowery Kingdom. What, O my esteemed parent, what can a bravebut devout and demon-fearing nation do when opposed to a people who arequite prepared to die without first leaving an adequate posterity totend their shrines and offer incense? Assuredly, as a neighbouringphilosopher once had occasion to remark, using for his purpose ametaphor so technically-involved that I must leave the interpretationuntil we meet, "It may be war, but it isn't cricket."

  The inevitable outcome, naturally, is that the Island must be thewandering-place of myriads of spirits possessing no recognised standing,and driven by want--having none to transmit them offerings--to the mostdegraded subterfuges. It is freely admitted that there is scarcely anancient building not the abode of one or more of these abandoned demons,doubtless well-disposed in the first instance, and capable of becomingreally beneficent Forces until they were driven to despair by obstinateneglect. A society of very honourable persons (to which this one hasunobtrusively contributed a gift), exists for the purpose of searchingout the most distressing and meritorious cases among them, and removingthem, where possible, to a more congenial spot. The remarkable fact,to this person's mind, is, that with the air and every availablespace around absolutely packed with demons (as certainly must be theprevailing state of things), the manifestations of their malignity andvice are, if anything, rather less evident here than in our own favouredcountry, where we do all in our power to satisfy their wants.

  That same evening I found myself seated next to a maiden ofprepossessing vivacity, who was spoken of as being one of a kindredbut not identical race. Filled with the incredible profanity of thosearound, and hoping to find among a nation so alluringly high-spiriteda more congenial elevation of mind, I at length turned to her and said,"Do not regard the question as one of unworthy curiosity, for thisperson's inside is white and funereal with his fears; but do you, ofyour allied race, worship your ancestors?"

  The maiden spent a moment in conscientious thought. "No, Mr. Kong," shereplied, with a most commendable sigh of unfeigned regret, "I can't saythat we do. I guess it's because we're too new. Mine, now, only go backtwo generations, and they were mostly in lard. If they were old andbaronial it might be different, but I can't imagine myself worshippingan ancestor in lard." (This doubtless refers to some barbaric method ofembalming.)

  "And your wide and enlightened countrymen?" I asked, unable to restraina passion of pure-bred despair. "Do they also so regard the obligation?"

  "I am afraid so," replied the maiden, with an honourable indicationtowards my emotion. "But of course when a girl marries into the Europeanaristocracy, she and all her folk worship her husband's ancestors, untilevery one about is fairly dizzy with the subject."

  It is largely owing to the graceful and virtuous conversation of theselesser ones that this person's knowledge of the exact position whichthe ceremonial etiquette of the country demands on various occasions isbecoming so proficiently enlarged. It is true that they of my own sex donot hesitate to inquire with penetrating assiduousness into certain ofthe manners and customs of our land, but these for the most part donot lead to a conversation in any way profitable to my discreeterunderstanding. Those of the inner chamber, on the other hand, whilenot scrupling to question me on the details of dress, the braiding andgumming of the hair, the style and variety of the stalls of merchants,the wearing of jade, gold, and crystal ornaments and flowers aboutthe head, smoking, and other matters affecting our lesser ones, verymagnanimously lead my contemplation back to a more custom-establishedtopic if by any hap in my ambitious ignorance I outstep it.

&nb
sp; In such a manner it chanced on a former occasion that I sat side by sidewith a certain maiden awaiting the return of others who had withdrawnfor a period. The season was that of white rains, and the fire beinglavishly extended about the grate we had harmoniously arranged ourselvesbefore it, while this person, at the repeated and explicit encouragementof the maiden, spoke openly of such details of the inner chamber as hehas already indicated.

  "Is it true, Mr. Ho" (thus the maiden, being unacquainted with theactual facts, consistently addressed me), "that ladies' feet arerelentlessly compressed until they finally assume the proportions andappearance of two bulbs?" and as she spoke she absent-mindedly regardedher own slippers, which were out-thrust somewhat to receive the actionof the fire.

  "It is a matter which cannot reasonably be denied," I replied; "andit is doubtless owing to this effect that they are designated 'GoldenLilies.' Yet when this observance has been slowly and painfullyaccomplished, the extremities in question are not less small butinfinitely less graceful than the select and naturally-formed pair whichthis person sees before him." And at the ingeniously-devised compliment(which, not to become large-headed in self-imagination, it must beadmitted was revealed to me as available for practically all occasionsby the really invaluable Quang-Tsun), I bowed unremittingly.

  "O, Mr. Ho!" exclaimed the maiden, and paused abruptly at the sound ofher words, as though they were inept.

  "In many other ways a comparison equally irreproachable to the exaltedbeing at my side might be sought out," I continued, suddenly formingthe ill-destined judgment that I was no less competent than the moreexperienced Quang-Tsun to contrive delicate offerings of speech. "Theirhair is rope like in its lack of spontaneous curve, their eyes asdeficient in lustre as a half-shuttered window; their hands areexceedingly inferior in colour, and both on the left side, as it may beexpressed; their legs--" but at this point the maiden drew herself sohastily into herself that I had no alternative but to conclude thatunless I reverted in some way the enterprise was in peril of beinginharmoniously conducted.

  "Mr. Ho," said the maiden, after contemplating her inward thoughts fora moment, "you are a foreigner, and you cannot be expected to know byinstinct what may and what may not be openly expressed in this country.Therefore, although the obligation is not alluring, I think it kinderto tell you that the matters which formed the subject of your last wordsare never to be referred to."

  At this rebuke I again bowed persistently, for it did not appearreasonable to me that I could in any other way declare myself withoutviolating the imposed command.

  "Not only are they never openly referred to," continued the maiden,who in spite of the declared no allurement of the subject did not seemdisposed to abandon it at once, "but among the most select they are,by unspoken agreement, regarded as 'having no actual existence,' as youyourself would say."

  "Yet," protested this person, somewhat puzzled, "to one who haswitnessed the highly-achieved attitudes of those within your Halls ofHarmony, and in an unyielding search for knowledge has addressed himselfeven to the advertisement pages of the ladies' papers--"

  The maiden waved her hand magnanimously. "In your land, as you have toldme, there are many things, not really existing, which for politeness youassume to be. In a like but converse manner this is to be so regarded."

  I thanked her voluminously. "The etiquette of this country is asinvolved as the spoken tongue," I said, "for both are composed chieflyof exceptions to a given rule. It was formerly impressed upon thisperson, as a guiding principle, that that which is unseen is not to bediscussed; yet it is not held in disrepute to allude to so intimate andsecluded an organ as the heart, for no further removed than yesterday heheard the deservedly popular sea-lieutenant in the act of declaring toyou, upon his knees, that you were utterly devoid of such a possession."

  At this inoffensively-conveyed suggestion, the fire opposite had all theappearance of suddenly reflecting itself into the maiden's face with amost engaging concentration, while at the same time she stamped her footin ill-concealed rage.

  "You've been listening at the door!" she cried impetuously, "and I shallnever forgive you."

  "To no extent," I declared hastily (for although I had indeed beenlistening at the door, it appeared, after the weight which she setupon the incident, more honourable that I should deny it in order toconciliate her mind). "It so chanced that for the moment this personhad forgotten whether the handle he was grasping was of the push-out orturn-in variety, and in the involvement a few words of no particular orenduring significance settled lightly upon his perception.

  "In that case," she replied in high-souled liberality, while her eyesscintillated towards me with a really all-overpowering radiance, "I willforgive you."

  "We have an old but very appropriate saying, 'To every man the voice ofone maiden carries further than the rolling of thunder,'" I remarkedin a significantly restrained tone; for, although conscious that thecircumstance was becoming more menace-laden than I had any previousintention, I found myself to be incapable of extrication. "Florence--"

  "Oh," she exclaimed quickly, raising her polished hand with anundeniable gesture of reproof, "you must not call me by my christianname, Mr. Ho."

  "Yet," replied this person, with a confessedly stubborn inelegance, "youcall me by the name of Ho."

  Her eyes became ox-like in an utter absence of almond outline. "Yes,"she said gazing, "but that--that is not your christian name, is it?"

  "In a position of speaking--this one being as a matter of fact adiscreditable follower of the sublime Confucius--it may be so regarded,"I answered, "inasmuch as it is the milk-name of childhood."

  "But you always put it last," she urged.

  "Assuredly," I replied. "Being irrevocably born with the family name ofKong, it is thought more reasonable that that should stand first. Afterthat, others are attached as the various contingencies demand it, as Houpon participating in the month-age feast, the book-name of Tsin at alater period, Paik upon taking a degree, and so forth."

  "I am very sorry, Mr. Kong," said the maiden, adding, with what atthe time certainly struck this person as shallow-witted prejudice. "Ofcourse it is really quite your own fault for being so tospy-turvilyarranged in every way. But, to return to the subject, why should not onespeak of one's heart?"

  "Because," replied this person, colouring deeply, and scarcely able tocontrol his unbearable offence that so irreproachably-moulded a creatureshould openly refer to the detail, "because it is a gross and unrefinedparticular, much more internal and much less pleasantly-outlinedthan those extremities whose spoken equivalent shall henceforth be anabandoned word from my lips."

  "But, in any case, it is not the actual organ that one infers,"protested the maiden. "As the seat of the affections, passions, virtues,and will, it is the conventional emblem of every thought and emotion."

  "By no means," I cried, forgetting in the face of so heterodox anassertion that it would be well to walk warily at every point. "That isthe stomach."

  "Ah!" exclaimed the maiden, burying her face in a gracefully-perfumedremnant of lace, to so overwhelming a degree that for the moment Ifeared she might become involved in the dizzy falling. "Never, by anymischance, use that word again the society of the presentable, Mr.Kong."

  "The ceremonial usage of my own land of the Heavenly Dynasty isproverbially elaborate," I said, with a gesture of self-abasement, "butin comparison with yours it may be regarded as an undeviating walk whenopposed to a stately and many-figured dance. Among the company of thereally excessively select (in which must ever be included the one whomI am now addressing), it becomes difficult for an outcast of myillimitable obtuseness to move to one side or the other without puttinghis foot into that."

  "Oh no," exclaimed the maiden, in fragrant encouragement, "I think youare getting on very nicely, Mr. Kong, and one does not look for absoluteconformance from a foreigner--especially one who is so extremelyforeign. If I can help you with anything--of course I could not evenspeak as I have done to an ordinary str
anger, but with one of a distantrace it seems different--if I can tell you anything that will saveyou--"

  "You are all-exalted," I replied, with seemly humility, "and virtue andwisdom press out your temples on either side. Certainly, since I havelearned that the heart is so poetically regarded, I have been assailedby a fear lest other organs which I have hitherto despised might be usedin a similar way. Now, as regards liver--"

  "It is only used with bacon," replied the maiden, rising abruptly.

  "Kidneys?" suggested this person diffidently, really anxious to detainher footsteps, although from her expression it did not rest assured thatthe incident was taking an actually auspicious movement.

  "I don't think you need speak of those except at breakfast," she said;"but I hear the others returning, and I must really go to dress fordinner."

  Among the barbarians many keep books wherein to inscribe their deep andbeautiful thoughts. This person had therefore provided himself withone also, and, drawing it forth, he now added to a page of many otherinteresting compositions: "Maidens of immaculate refinement do nothesitate to admit before a person of a different sex that they are onthe point of changing their robes. The liver is in some intricate wayan emblem representing bacon, or together with it the two stand fora widely differing analogy. Among those of the highest exclusivenesskidneys are never alluded to after the tenth gong-stroke of themorning."

  With a sincerely ingrained trust that the scenes of dignity, opulence,and wisdom, set forth in these superficial letters, are not unsettlingyour intellect and causing you to yearn for a fuller existence.

  KONG HO.