And heaven help her, she was drawn to the man standing before her in a way she’d never imagined possible.
He reached for her hand and she allowed him to take it.
“We shouldn’t do this.” Her words came out in a breathless whisper.
“Can I kiss you, Ellen?”
She should deny his request. Tell him that nothing could happen between them and then return to the house alone. Instead, her gaze dipped to his mouth as she wondered what it would feel like to kiss a man who wasn’t her now-dead husband.
“I’m going to take your silence as agreement.”
Chapter 9
Castlefield found himself staring into Ellen’s exquisite eyes as her gaze met his. Her face was tilted up in invitation, her blue eyes wide and her breathing uneven. He waited a beat longer before moving, not wanting any doubt to remain about whether she wanted him to stop. When she didn’t step away, he lowered his head.
Triumph surged within him when her lids began to lower. He closed his eyes and angled his head slightly, anticipation heavy in his veins.
In the next moment he was flat on his back, staring up at the cloudy sky.
Ellen stood a foot away, the expression on her face telling him she was just as surprised as he with how this moment had ended.
“I didn’t mean… I don’t know…” She gave her head a sharp shake and sighed. “Did I hurt you?”
He was powerless to stop the laugh that burst from him. He tried to rein in his amusement, but the look of indignation on Ellen’s face set him off again. He should have known nothing would be easy with her.
She towered over him, frowning, her arms crossed beneath the tempting display of her attributes. Her lips twitched with the telltale sign that she was trying to hold back her own amusement.
He rose to his feet, another chuckle escaping.
“I really must apologize,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me.”
From the haunted look that flickered in her eyes, he knew exactly what had come over her. Memories of Laughton and everything he must have done to her before she’d learned how to toss a grown man onto his back with seemingly little effort.
“No harm done. As you well know, I’ve taken more than my share of tumbles over the years.”
He was relieved when the tension broke and the corners of her mouth lifted in a genuine smile. “Did you and my brother ever decide who was the better horseman?”
“I am, of course. Although if you ask him, he’ll no doubt tell you I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
She looked away and he waited. When she met his gaze again, she didn’t conceal her unhappiness. “I fear I’m not very good at this. You should consider moving on to someone better worth your time and effort. Someone younger.”
With a slow, careful movement, he reached for her hand. He half expected to find himself on his back again, but she accepted his touch. They were both wearing gloves, and he wondered briefly if she’d have allowed the small intimacy if that weren’t the case.
“I’ve waited this long, I can wait a little longer.”
Her head tilted to the side, her eyes seeming to bore right through him. “At times you almost have me believing the nonsense you’re spouting is true.”
“It is, and one of these days you’re going to believe me.”
After giving her hand a squeeze, he released it. He couldn’t help adding, “Next time, I’ll allow you to initiate the kiss. Perhaps then I won’t have to worry that I’ll be being flung about by you.”
“You seem very confident that day will come.”
“It will,” he said. It had to.
Chapter 10
Ellen didn’t come down for dinner that evening, and Castlefield knew he was to blame. He’d spoken too soon, revealed too much of his feelings. And even worse, stirred up memories about her now-deceased husband when he’d tried to kiss her. But he’d spent far too many years filled with regret for not speaking out when he had the opportunity. After Laughton’s death, he knew Ellen wouldn’t mourn her husband. Still, knowing he couldn’t rush her, he’d waited for the appropriate amount of time to pass.
He’d gone over his options many times in his head and knew there would never be a good time to tell her it had been many years since he realized he cared for her as more than a former childhood friend. So much more.
His past mistakes continued to haunt him. They’d been inseparable all those summers when they were growing up. He’d been twelve when he first realized their parents were pushing them together, hoping to unite their two families. He’d thought it fine to have a girl as his best friend, but the idea of marrying her was so foreign and unwelcome, and he’d wanted nothing to do with their plans. But it wasn’t until he’d spoken out against Ellen’s betrothed, blind jealousy causing him to be less than kind about the man with whom Ellen had fallen in love, that she’d grown to hate him.
He wouldn’t allow that to happen again now that they were both older and wiser. Even if Ellen could never come to care for him in return, he was determined to tear down the barriers that lay between them. The task wasn’t an easy one, but if he must, he’d accept Ellen as nothing more than a good friend again.
He ignored the stab of pain caused by the thought of watching from afar as she fell in love with another man. But right now it was his time—their time—and if she’d allow it, he was going to show her what it really meant to have a man love her the way she deserved.
After watching her walk away from him the day before, he decided not to press his luck this morning. Normally he ate early before anyone else had risen and went for a ride, enjoying the peaceful start to his day. He would return about an hour later and head into his study to look over the paperwork that always seemed to multiply overnight.
It was only to be expected since his title came with many estates, and so he generally devoted the rest of the morning to answering correspondence from the stewards at his various estates, reading through their suggestions for improvements and weighing them against the income each estate brought in. On those days that a set of accounts waited for him, he knew he was in for a tedious afternoon as well. Still, the work would only pile up if he ignored it, and so he made it a habit to tackle matters as they came up.
But after Ellen’s absence over dinner the evening before, he considered avoiding the correspondence that still remained on his desk from the previous day and, instead, waiting for her in the breakfast room. From what Jane had told him, they usually spent some time together after breakfast, and his sister’s presence would ensure there’d be no awkward silences. But he couldn’t shake his worry that pressing Ellen now might cause her to return to London.
And so after returning from his early morning ride, he made his way to his study. As he lowered himself into the chair at his desk, he reached for the letter that had arrived the previous day. He didn’t need to read it again. It was a few lines from Brantford telling Castlefield that he and his new wife would be arriving sometime this afternoon. He could always use the news as an excuse to talk to Ellen at breakfast.
He gave his head a shake and pushed the short note off to the side of his desk. Much as he wanted to force the issue of their relationship, he’d leave Ellen to her peaceful morning routine. He’d see her later, after her brother and sister-in-law arrived. She wouldn’t be hiding in her room again this evening, so now was the time to plan his next move.
Chapter 11
Ellen had almost given up hope of seeing her brother and his new wife in Sussex. A full week had passed since he’d sent that note to Castlefield, and they’d had no further word.
Her initial instinct after her disastrous near kiss with Castlefield yesterday was to ask for a carriage to be readied so she could return to London. She resisted the impulse and instead pleaded a headache and retired to her room for the rest of the day. She liked to think she was no longer that impulsive young woman of twenty who’d thought herself about to wed the man of her dreams, but in truth she w
asn’t immune to making rash decisions she’d come to regret later. At least now she was mature enough to know she needed to wait at least a day for her emotions to settle before deciding on a course of action.
She couldn’t deny that as each day passed without another letter, her worry that something had gone wrong with Brantford and his wife grew. Perhaps he hadn’t been able to save Rose’s father from the hangman’s noose after all. The note he’d sent Castlefield seemed to indicate otherwise, but it might not matter that the man wasn’t, in fact, guilty. He’d confessed to treason to protect the lives of his wife and daughter. That might not be something he could retract even with Brantford’s influence.
As the new day dawned, Ellen realized she didn’t want to leave. She told herself it was because she didn’t want to be separated from Jane again so soon, but the truth was far more disturbing.
After Castlefield had confessed he felt a romantic interest in her all those years ago, her mind had blanked with shock and she’d needed to get away. But now that she’d had the opportunity to ruminate on the matter, she couldn’t deny she was intrigued. At the very least, his actions were a puzzle she longed to unravel.
He’d told her at the masquerade that he meant to court her, and she’d thought he was playing another game with her. Was it possible he cared for her in truth? Or did he just want her to believe that so he could gain the upper hand in the war that had developed between them in their adult years?
Even though her husband had been dead for two years, Ellen was aware that he still influenced her thoughts and actions. She didn’t know if a day would ever come when she’d be able to take someone’s word at face value. She couldn’t even say whether she wanted that day to come. Her unshakable belief in the motives of others had certainly done her no favors in the past.
Still, she knew she couldn’t run away from what was happening between her and Castlefield. Not until she discovered the truth behind his words.
Her decision to stay made, Ellen headed downstairs to the breakfast room. Normally he didn’t join them for the morning meal, so she didn’t expect she’d have to deal with him first thing. She ignored the slight twinge of disappointment that today was no different.
She greeted Jane, Lord Eddings, and the dowager duchess and sat down at the table. She couldn’t help but wonder what the day would hold. For the first time in years, the future seemed filled with possibilities.
It was midday before she saw Castlefield again. She couldn’t decide whether he was playing a game of cat and mouse with her or if he was giving her the space he no doubt thought she needed after his confession the day before. But whichever was true, she was determined to set aside her doubts when he joined her in the library.
She had chosen a novel and was curled up in a comfortable armchair next to a window that overlooked a smaller side garden. Jane had gone up to the nursery to spend time with her children, and Ellen had taken to spending that time in the library.
She looked up when she sensed movement by the doorway and was surprised to find Castlefield standing there. The stiff set of his shoulders told her he wasn’t sure of his reception. Ellen was happy to set aside the book, which hadn’t captured her interest, and gave Castlefield a guarded smile. She could almost see the tension lift from him. Certainly his own smile became warm instead of cautious.
“If you’re in search of a book, I can recommend one you shouldn’t read,” she said with an exaggerated scowl at the thick volume she’d set aside.
The sound of Castlefield’s laugh lifted her spirits. “I’m here to inform you that we have two guests arriving.”
She rose to her feet, almost afraid he was teasing her again. “Brantford is here?”
“His carriage is pulling up in front of the house even as we speak.” He hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I may have received a note yesterday informing me of his impending arrival. I hope you’ll forgive me for keeping that knowledge to myself, but I wanted to surprise you.”
She couldn’t find it within herself to be even a little annoyed as a mixture of relief and happiness swept over her. Everything must have worked out as her brother and sister-in-law had hoped. She’d only known Rose a short while before the two wed, but in that time she’d seen just how fiercely loyal the woman was. Rose never would have left her father’s side if he was still sentenced to be hanged. Which could only mean her brother had succeeded in proving Lord Worthington innocent of the crime of treason.
Castlefield stepped aside, and she thanked him as she moved into the hallway. Together, they made their way to the front of the house.
“I should be angry with you for keeping Brantford’s letter from me, but I’m just so relieved.”
A corner of his mouth lifted. “Your smile is worth any ire I might have risked.”
Ellen couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her. For some reason it no longer bothered her that Castlefield seemed to have decided it was safe to proceed with his plan to court her. She was more than equal to the task of holding her own against him. In fact, she found herself looking forward to the challenge.
Voices led them to the front drawing room, which was filled with people. Jane and the dowager duchess were absent, but Lord Eddings was deep in conversation with Brantford and Rose. A footman hovered in the hallway, no doubt awaiting further instructions.
What caught Ellen’s attention as she stood in the doorway was the fond smile on her brother’s face as he gazed at his wife. It was plain to see she’d just said something that amused him. Ellen had known he cared for Rose when he’d asked her to watch over the young woman earlier this year. She’d even teased him about his feelings before he declared his intention to wed her. He’d told her that he was marrying Rose for the sole purpose of keeping her safe, but Ellen had known he harbored feelings for the young woman. Despite that, she was shocked her brother was so open with his emotions.
She’d rarely seen even a hint of warmth in his expression over the past several years. Wry humor, yes, but never an open display of affection. Not since he was a boy, before the weight of expectation their father had placed squarely on his young shoulders had turned him into a remote stranger.
It struck her that she was no longer looking at the Earl of Brantford as the world saw him—the man everyone had taken to calling the unaffected earl—but at her brother, Lucien. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed him.
The revelation left her with the odd sensation that somehow the world had shifted. Her brother was a master at reining in his emotions, leaving others to guess what he was thinking or feeling. And since he had a certain quality that had everyone wanting to gain his approval, that meant they worked all the harder for the smallest sign that Brantford liked them. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him so open.
It wasn’t just that he was smiling down at Rose that made her chest feel tight. The expression on her brother’s face made it clear to anyone who looked at them that Brantford loved his wife. If anyone harbored any doubts as to that fact, those doubts would be banished the moment they saw the two of them together.
Ellen shook off her shock and moved into the room to greet the new arrivals. “When we didn’t receive any news, I despaired we’d see the two of you here this summer.”
She gave Rose a quick hug, whispering, “How did everything go?” She’d have to wait to learn all the details, but she hoped to hear confirmation that their mission had gone well.
Rose’s smile was answer enough. “I’ll tell you everything later.”
A corresponding smile spread across Ellen’s face. She nodded, squeezing Rose’s hands before turning to face her brother.
“Ellen,” he said by way of greeting. But there was a twinkle in his eyes she hadn’t seen in years. Oh, how she’d missed her mischievous younger brother.
“I’m so happy you’ve joined us, Lucien.”
Her brother raised a brow at her use of his given name. She’d taken to calling him by his
title after he inherited, telling him that she missed the carefree youth he’d once been. His mouth twitched, and he gave her an exaggerated bow. The way he looked at her though, with a genuine warmth she hadn’t seen in years, told her that he understood the reason behind her uncharacteristic use of his Christian name. And if she wasn’t mistaken, it pleased him.
Oh yes, Rose had performed a true miracle in the short time she’d been in her brother’s life.
Rose was a striking young woman, her dark chestnut-colored hair contrasting with her brother’s fair coloring. But as well as beauty, her new sister-in-law also had charm, wit, and an intelligence that made her a perfect match for Brantford.
Ellen watched as the young woman turned that charm on Castlefield now.
“My husband has promised me a proper wedding trip at a later date, but neither of us could ignore the lure of friends and family. Thank you for allowing us to stay.”
Ellen couldn’t help but contrast the woman before her now with the one who’d been so hurt when everyone she’d considered a friend deserted her after her father confessed to treason. Brantford had been wise to bring her to Sussex. Ellen had only known Rose a short time before she married her brother, but in that time she already considered her a friend. She had no doubt Rose and Jane would soon become friends as well. Given how many of the women Rose had known deserted her when scandal touched her family, Ellen was eager to see that friendship develop.
As though thinking about her friend conjured her presence, Jane swept into the room and moved to her husband’s side.
“Someone just told me we have guests.” She made a deep curtsy before Brantford, her eyes glinting with amusement as she said, “My lord. I am so happy you decided to grace us with your presence.”
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