by Fiona Murphy
I shiver at the memory.
“The clothes make you feel like a whore. That what, I’m paying for services rendered?” The words were deadly cold.
Shame had me unable to look up. I nod as I finger the tag on the dress. Seven thousand dollars, holy shit, letting it go I don’t see him move. His hand goes into my hair and he tugs me until I’m on my knees. He’s not gentle for the first time, and it’s scary and thrilling. I hear his zipper slide down and look up to see him pull out his cock and I’m wet.
“The clothes stay and so do you. So, if I’m paying for services rendered, you need to catch up. Open your mouth.” The words stung and dear lord I was wet at them. I open my mouth, his cock is forcing its way inside, and I open wider. I haven’t taken him this way as often as I wanted to, embarrassment at how inept I felt I was caused me to shrink from it. His instructions are clear and I follow them, when I don’t, his grip tightens and he pulls harder on my hair. Once I allow my teeth to graze him and immediately I’m repaid by a nipple being tweaked painfully. Moaning around him, I’m so hot and wet from his actions I want him inside me but don’t dare stop. Harder he pushes into me, working himself deeper into my throat. I moan around him and he’s cursing, letting go of my hair, he takes over and he’s fucking my mouth harder and rougher than he’s ever fucked me before. When he comes, it’s a relief and it’s too soon. I swallow and moan and he’s cursing at the feeling.
He’s barely finished before he’s picking me up and tossing me down on the bed. “The smell of your pussy was so fucking thick in the closet, I thought I was going to lose it. You liked that? Good, because it’s going to happen again. You’re mine, I take care of you and the clothes will make it so you don’t feel so self-conscious when we go out. I’ve seen your discomfort and embarrassment. They aren’t for services rendered, and to hear you say shit like that pisses me off, don’t even think of going there again. Now open your legs for me so I can eat your sweet pussy.”
Alex had practically attacked me, his tongue and, painfully, even his teeth had tugged and tortured me for nearly an hour as he kept me from the orgasm I was begging for. He flipped me over and took me from behind, hard and fast and we both came in seconds.
I never said a word when new clothes showed up in the closet after that.
That was three months ago, day by day not just sex had become even better, and our time together felt even more amazing. Alex wasn’t happy I still wanted to keep us off the radar at work. It had been then that the idea for leaving had become more of a reality. People wouldn’t see I’ve been here for years and deserved it. They would only see me and Alex as a couple.
After making the decision, relief had come. Then I’d hit the internet to see what way I could use my skills and experience for a one person business. I’m not looking to build an office around me. I want something that is mine, and I could make as big and put in as much work as I was willing to give while supporting myself. I’m not looking forward to the discussion, and am being a baby by putting it off as long as I dare. In order not to look like I’m leaving just because of Alex’s promotion, I know I need to give it at least another month yet I’m already so excited, I want to start right away. I’ve already gone from overachiever and late nights to what needed to be done and leaving by five.
For now, Alex believes it’s because of our relationship and maybe it is, but not entirely. While now it’s nice to have someone to go home to, letting go of the drive had only been because I know it’s not going to get me where I want to go. Alex had been careful and rarely brought up the changes at work. Not wanting to upset him, I had even managed to let it all go. It was nice not feel the angst of loss anymore.
My cell phone buzzes in my pocket and I ignore it, assuming it’s work. Then it goes off two more times, giving in I pull it out and step out of the conference room.
“Hello?”
“You bitch!”
My stomach plummets and I lean against the wall for support. Larry? Why the hell is he calling me now?
“What do you want? What’s the matter with you?” Digging deep, I find strength I hadn’t thought I had when it came to standing up to him.
“My mom is dead and she gave you everything! How the hell did you do that? I’m going to take you to court and get it back! That’s the house I grew up in and its mine.”
Shock and surprise are strong, I hadn’t spoken to Anita for years. We had been close while Larry and I were married. After the divorce, the calls and visits had trickled to nothing. It hadn’t surprised me, Larry had moved back in with his mother after the divorce and they were close. During our last lunch, she had hinted Larry was unhappy she was meeting me. I had been sad yet understanding when no further invitations had come.
“What are you talking about?”
“Still a stupid bitch who doesn’t listen. My mom died last week and she left you everything, the house and the money from the insurance policies, over two hundred grand. The lawyer wants you to call him, but you’d better not, I’m taking you to court. Just because she was mad at me doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get a damned thing.” Larry ends the call and I’m still confused. People are leaving the meeting, gossiping and smiling. Pushing away from the wall, my phone goes off again, checking the display it’s not Larry so I answer. Alex sees me and he’s not happy, Tim and Edward are behind him and they don’t look happy either. I shrug and turn away, I need to figure out what the hell is going on.
“Hello?”
“Ms. Moore, this is Daniel Fry from the law firm Little, Shipp and Michaels; and we need to speak with you about the estate of Mrs. Anita Leroy. Could you please schedule a time with me to come in?”
“Larry just called me, I’m still having a hard time processing all of this. Can we do it tomorrow, first thing?”
“Yes, of course. I have an opening at eight.”
“That works for me.” I’m not actually sure if it did or not but it’s going to. I’m in my office checking my schedule and thankfully, the morning is clear until a meeting at eleven. Sharon always scheduled her meetings before lunch so they wouldn’t run over. I call Mabel and let her know I’ll be in late tomorrow. I haven’t taken a single day of vacation this year so I know I have the time and don’t make it request. She lets me know she’ll note it. I hang up to find Alex looking at me leaning against the closed door.
“What’s going on?”
“My ex-husband’s mother died and apparently left me everything. Larry is less than pleased and called up threatening and yelling at me. I’m meeting with the estate lawyer tomorrow to sort it all out. This is all a surprise. Even though Anita and I were close while I was married to Larry and I really liked her. She was firmly in Larry’s corner at every argument so I understand why he’s not happy. It doesn’t seem right.”
“Why doesn’t it seem right?”
Shrugging, “He’s her son, shouldn’t he get what’s hers?”
“So what, she wanted you to have it. You haven’t talked about him much, however what you have said makes it pretty clear he’s an asshole. Maybe she figured it out before she died. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know, I’m sad she’s dead only it feels like I lost her a long time ago. I’m just really confused.”
“We’ll skip the theater tonight, have an early night?”
“Sounds good.” I nod in agreement.
With a kiss on my cheek, he’s gone.
That night, I check the address of the law firm as we’re lying in bed. Damn, it’s on the other side of the Loop. His phone goes off and from his side of the call it doesn’t sound good. It’s Marley and it’s clear she’s pushing him to go down to Florida. Marley had left for Florida last weekend; his father was on his deathbed. I’d been shocked to hear Alex say the words so drily. He clarified his father had been on his deathbed at least once a year for the last five years.
“Damn it, Marley, if it’s really that bad then get him to the hospital. Well then, it’s not bad.” Alex looks strained. My
hand goes over his, and he turns it over and holds it tightly. “Marley, I’ve told you, I’m sick of him and his stupid tricks. When a doctor tells me that I need to go, then I’ll go, not until then. I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
I go easily when Alex pulls me into his lap. Wrapping my arms around his middle, I sink into him. Wracking my mind for something to say, I can’t think of anything. Alex has made it okay for the silence to not always be filled with something. Even as I settle against him, content in the silence the words slide out. “I love you.”
Underneath me, his whole body tenses and I realize I said them out loud, and I’m tense now too. Rolling me underneath him, his hands go into my hair to pull me up to look at him. Fear disappears at the expression on his face, awe and happiness and shockingly of all, love. “Say it again, please, baby.”
“I love you.” It’s even easier now that I know he feels the same way.
Closing his eyes, he seems to savor the words, when he opens them they’re sapphire dark with emotion. “Thank you, I have loved you for so long. I was afraid to push you too fast.”
Curiosity fills me, “How long?”
“From almost the beginning, probably the second month I was there. I walked into your office and you practically hissed at me. There was a fire inside you yet this need to protect yourself. I wanted to know why, and what drove it, and then I wanted it all to myself. You were all I saw and thought about after that.”
Stunned by his admission, I remember the moment he was talking about and remember the mood changing in my office and losing breath at it. I hadn’t understood what it was or why, only been afraid of how powerful it felt. “The first night, you said I wasn’t ready to know what you wanted.”
“Mm, not that night, no. I want it all. I almost told you when I forgot the condom except you still seemed skittish.”
“Me?” There’s a part of me that feels like it’s all a dream.
“Yes, you. All of you, and it makes me a little crazy that even now you question your worth. You are a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant woman and I’m the lucky one. Your mom and Larry, they were miserable people. They don’t deserve the power they had over you. Haven’t Tim and Edward shown you what a good person you are, that you deserve all the good things you have?”
His mention of Tim and Edward has me feeling guilty. They had often showered me with praise. I also know I’m only one of two people they offered to send back to school. Was me leaving now, disloyal?
“Grace? I don’t like that look on your face.” I try to hide, I don’t want to ruin this moment, this night, this memory. “Damn it, Grace, tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
Now that he knows, he won’t let it go. “I’m going to leave the company.”
Alex looks like I’ve slapped him, his head going back, and he rolls off and away from me. His hand in his hair, he’s off the bed and walking out of the room. I want to stay in here and hide but I don’t dare. Alex had made it clear he didn’t want us to disagree in the bedroom. The few squabbles we’ve had, he dragged me into the living room and set me on the couch.
I go into the living room, he’s not there. I find him in the kitchen leaning against the counter, swallowing deeply from a bottle of beer. Shit, Alex isn’t much of a drinker. The twelve pack had been brought over by Marley and her roommate, and they’d drunk most of them. It was only here because they hadn’t wanted to carry the rest home.
Waiting is torture, he doesn’t say anything, just keeps drinking. “Alex, this is the best thing for me. I want to do this so I have something that’s mine, something no one can take away from me. If I’m working until nine o’clock at night, it’s for my success, it’s for my bottom line. Please understand that.”
“No one is taking anything away from you!” The bottle clanks on the granite countertop. I jump, surprised it doesn’t break.
“For ten years, I worked my ass off for them. I gave up everything for them. Weekends and nights, it was all for them, and no, they didn’t ask for it, I gave it willingly, and I was rewarded again and again, not just with the increases in pay, but the promotions. They hinted and they joked, until you came into the picture, and that’s when it got quiet. All of the hard work, and I’m going to get a pat on the back and a corner office, but no piece of a company I broke my back for.
Fine, I’m not in the least resentful, I’m really not. You are five hundred times the successor I could ever be. You have the connections and I get it. I also get me working so hard for someone else was a bad bet. If I expected to get ahead and call shots, then it should have been for myself. I’m still young enough to make it happen. It’s not going to be easy, but I have savings and I’m not out to take over the world, just my small spot in it.”
“Grace, this will be ours. Once I’m in charge I’m only going to make the company better and bigger, then I buy and take over. Even if we hadn’t fallen in love, I would want you as my number two. You have helped make this company what it is and you belong there. Not this year, but it won’t be long before Edward retires. Don’t you get it? All your hard work will pay off. I would never do what was done to me, ever!” With a sigh, he rests against the counter.
“When I came out of Harvard, the bulk of my mother’s estate came to me, and though I was young, I knew what I wanted. Then Kevin Kaplan came to me, we’d gone all through Harvard together and I thought of him as a really good friend. He said he was being honest; his father’s firm had hit hard times and needed money to stay afloat. I bring in money which is basically me buying my way in, and considering I’m so young and new, I can’t just get my name on the building immediately, we have to do it smoothly. I work my ass off for a few years, moving up, and then eventually I’ll become a partner. When the time comes, instead I get a check for the ‘loan’ with three percent interest and a pat on the back for thanks.
“I understand you’re disappointment, and knew the whole time Tim and Edward talked about you that I wouldn’t let you go anywhere, even if I hated you. I know what it’s like to work so hard and not get what you thought you deserved, but you will, no not the complete managing, but yes, you will be number two. It would have always been that way.”
“I don’t want it this way!”
“For fucks sake, it’s your way or nothing?”
“Why do you have to say it like that? Alex, how can you not get it? Are you being deliberately obtuse?” He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look up. Deciding retreat is the best thing for now, “I’m going to go home. I think it’s best for now.”
He’s in front of me so fast it’s a blur, he’s got my arm, “Fuck that, you aren’t going anywhere.”
His grip is tight and there’s fear in his eyes. I want to be angry, but I understand. “Okay, I’m going to go take a shower.”
I kiss his cheek and he lets go of me. Sighing, I wonder where we go from here. Why did it all have to go pear shaped so quickly? Turning on the shower takes a few buttons and I step in and let the multiple heads do their job, I love his shower. Why had I said I was going home? I hadn’t been there in weeks. Alex had made it clear he wanted me with him and a power weekend of shopping had turned his two bedroom condo from a hotel into a home.
Painting had been the first step, and it had been fun to pick out colors and paint together, if slightly harder than either of us had thought it would be. The next weekend had been the shopping, hours spent roaming from store to store picking out the perfect curtains and bedding had been nice when Alex hadn’t put it all on me. He had made suggestions then left me to decide the final purchase, except when it came to if he thought I picked it for price. There had been an adamant decree price tags were off limits to me. When we were done shopping, it had been so much fun to decorate and order Alex around. He’d gotten very sweaty and then I’d gotten very sweaty just looking at him. It had only taken minutes for him to push me up against the wall in the guest bedroom and take me hard and fast. I didn’t want to go home, this was home now
to me. I’m not sure when it happened but it had.
The door opens and I see Alex step in. Relief fills me to near bursting, it’s a large shower that could easily fit ten people and there’s a large bench where we have made love before, often. When he pulls into his arms, I go and hug him close. Thankful he’s here, I don’t hold back, “I love you, I don’t want to fight.”
I feel him shudder at my words, and his hands hold me as he kisses me deeply and I feel the love that had always been there and I’m shaking. “Bed.” He whispers in my ear . I nod.
Turning off the water he lets me go and grabs a towel, his movements are quick. He’s picking me up, wrapping the towel around me. It never fails to make me wet when he does this. His strength had scared me before, but he’s never used it against me and I know he never will.
Slowly, very gently, he dries me with the towel and before long his touch has me trembling with need. His tongue finds the beating pulse in my neck and licks before sucking lightly. Lightly, he teases a nipple with grazing touches of his hand as his mouth moves down my body.
“You’re mine, Grace.”
Sliding my hands into his hair, I tug him up to look at me. I feel his fear and it makes me humble and sick to my stomach. The idea of him scared and insecure in the love I have for him brings tears to my eyes. “I’m yours and you’re mine and I love you so much that whatever it takes for you to know that, I’ll do. Anything... you want me to stay on, then I’ll do it, you want me to shout it naked on a street corner, then I’ll do it.”