by Fiona Murphy
“Grace, you’re killing me here.”
“Please, Alex, I promise I’m not doing it on purpose.” I attempt to assure him as I move down his stomach. His dick is so hard, with him lying down it’s almost lying flat against his stomach. Unsure yet excited, I caress the length of him, from his leaking tip to the base of him, and the soft, silky sac below. He moans my name, it gives me the courage to taste him. My mouth floods with moisture, as I lean down and lick the tip, and taste him. Salty... and still somehow sweet... I suck him into my mouth, wanting more of him. My tongue twists and turns, marveling at how soft he is, and yet, also so hard. He moves it’s as though he’s fucking my mouth, and I love the sensation. He’s far too large for me to take more than half into my mouth. It’s turning me on so much I can’t keep my free hand from my leaking pussy.
He moves to capture my hand before I’ve even gotten inside, and brings the offending hand to his mouth and mimics my own actions on my first two fingers. I moan around his dick and the vibration causes him to moan and his free hand clenches in my hair. I moan again, and he hisses my name. Allowing him to fall from my mouth, I know he’s close and I want to know more about his soft silky balls. I lick gingerly again, and again. Then take him into my mouth, sucking lightly. He warns me, he’s going to come. I move back to the tip of him, wanting him in my mouth when it happens. I suck again and bob up and down as he spurts inside my mouth. I lick him and suck gently until he has nothing left for me.
He pulls me up, his arms tight around me. I love the feel of him against me and rub his chest mindlessly. Happy and contented I doze. It feels like only minutes later when his hands find their way down to my ass. He’s shaping them, almost playing with the globes of my ass.
“It’s still so hard to believe someone as beautiful as you could want a fat ass like mine.” I’m drowsy and in awe still, at his response to me. His hands are running over me as if he can’t get enough of me.
Instantly he goes still. I’m flat on my back and he’s over me, his face hard and his eyes dark. “I want you because you are a gorgeous woman, the size twos in this world don’t have the pull you think they do. I love your body, every inch of it, I also love the way your eyes show your every emotion and the damned dimple in your right cheek that I don’t see nearly enough of. You are the total package for me, I fell in lust with your body. I want the woman you are inside. Don’t ever let me hear you put yourself down again.”
His eyes are a storm of blue, I can only nod. Wanting to appease him, I pull him down for a kiss. It’s nearly savage. I can’t breathe and don’t care. I’m clutching at him for more. Breaking the kiss, the satisfaction is clear on his face.
“Get on your hands and knees for me.”
I move quickly and I’m rewarded for my compliance. Alex pushes into me, I’m so wet he’s deep and slapping into me with a single stroke. Holy shit, it feels amazing. Alex stops, I scream his name in agony. “Grace, baby, I forgot the condom. I have to stop and put it on.”
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” My pussy grasps him to keep him inside me. Alex groans my name and it’s as if he’s freed from his previous control. His strokes are deeper, faster, harder. It feels so damned good, I hit my orgasm breaking apart and shuddering around him. My orgasm pushes him over the edge and he follows with my name a moan in my ear.
What feels like a long time later Alex is brushing hair from my face. He kisses my temple. I luxuriate in the feel of him inside me, filling me up and making me full where I have been empty for so long. I open my eyes with a smile, Alex is looking down at me with concern.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, my hand on his cheek.
“I told you sweetheart, I forgot the condom. I promised you I would take care of you and I didn’t.”
Blushing, I brush a finger over his beautifully full lips. “As I recall, I was the one who wouldn’t let you go. I’m sorry, but the feel of you inside me without a condom just felt so good. I’m also pretty sure, if you had stopped, I would have spontaneously combusted. It’s my fault, I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m so close though, I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about. I’m sorry it will cause you concern until we know for sure.”
“I won’t be concerned about me. My concern will be for you. I know you feel like we’re moving fast but if you are pregnant, confirming it will be one of the happiest days of my life.
Even though I trust Alex, I do, and he looks so sincere, years of reflex kicks in. “You cannot be serious. You don’t have to say that.”
Alex sighs. Rolling off me onto his back, and I’m empty again. I miss him already. I know I’ve hurt him and fear kicks in, until he pulls me into his arms, resting my head on his chest.
“That response is exactly why I’m more concerned about you. I don’t want to freak you out, but I see kids in my future and it would make me happy if they were with you.”
I can hear the strong pounding beat of his heart, it soothes me. His words don’t freak me out or scare me. They seem right in a way that makes sense of the last few days.
“I’m sorry I said that. You’ve never done or said anything that would cause me to doubt your honesty, it wasn’t fair to you. My mother made sure I knew I was unplanned and a mistake. I didn’t know the exact reason but from the beginning, I knew I didn’t want kids with Larry. At the time I put it down to us being too young and not having money. Except deep down I knew I didn’t want to be tied to him for the rest of my life and I knew that’s what kids meant. It isn’t fair to compare my experiences with my mother and Larry with you.”
“How do you feel about a baby now?” He’s serious, intent.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve had a picture in my head, for so long, babies equaled bad things. Then I knew I liked being alone, and didn’t want to be with anyone after Larry. The idea of a baby became even more abstract to me. But when you said you’d be happy, the first feeling I had was excitement and happiness, and the picture of a baby boy with blue eyes and blond hair. It’s almost scary how appealing it is to me, so fast.”
I’m flat on my back in one movement, his hand is on my stomach. I know he’s picturing our baby there. His look of satisfaction turns me on. I need him again, just that fast. I whisper his name and he knows, he understands. He moves up and over me, and he’s inside me and I’m whole again.
Chapter Seven
Sunlight streams through the windows. I groan as I roll over right into a hard, silky body. The memory of the night before comes rushing back in a Technicolor flood. I smile as I open my eyes. Alex is awake and he’s looking down at me.
“You don’t smile nearly enough, then again that smile is so damned beautiful I’m only now starting to think that’s a good thing. If you smiled all the time, I’d be forever hard for you.”
Blushing, I rub my cheek into his chest. How does his skin feel so soft and his muscles feel so hard? “Mm, I don’t know how that’s a bad thing.”
“Greedy, come on. I’d let you sleep, but it’s after ten. I need to get home and ready for work.”
“Where am I going?” I ask as the idea of getting out of bed pierces the happy bubble I’m in.
“A shower for the both of us. I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.”
“Now that sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.” I roll out of bed easily as he pulls me behind him.
Much later than either of us had planned on, we’re both getting dressed. I’m focused on buttoning my blouse. Trying to figure out how to say it out loud.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
How does he do that? “Um, I was just thinking that while I’m really happy about us, and what happened last night, and I’m looking forward to it happening again. I don’t want to go public with it at work.”
He moves fast, pulling up my chin, his eyes won’t let me hide. “I don’t see why we should hide. Tim and Edward won’t care, they’ll be happy for us.”
“It’s not Tim and Edward I’m worried about. It’
s the other employees I work with on a daily basis. When things start changing, they won’t know it’s all been planned out and in the works. All they’ll see is you moving up and us together, and then when you take over, I move up. They’ll think I was willing to do anything to get the job I lost out on before.”
“Who gives a shit what anyone thinks? I can talk to Tim and Edward and announce the plan now.”
“We’re past that point. Please, I’ve been working with these people for years. I’ve never really fit in, this will make it worse.”
“Grace, it’s clear how hard you’ve worked. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. People know you come in and stay late, they might not say it to your face but they do talk about it. There’s also some jealous, bitchy gossip about how you have no life outside of work, no one will be surprised about you moving up.”
I’m not ready, not yet. “Please, Alex, for now.” Alex looks hurt, yet I can’t back down. Finally, he nods and I can breathe. Going up on my toes, I kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Alex.”
“For now.”
“For now.” I nod, my mind starts working on the later.
“Since I’m giving in on this, I want you at my place this weekend, all weekend long you’re mine.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Good, pack a bag but don’t put too many clothes in it because you won’t need them. I love seeing you blush. Give me a kiss, before I go.”
Walking him to the door, I lean in and the kiss quickly becomes hot and full of need. I’m breathless when he pulls away.
“Six hours and then you’ll be under me. It’s going to be a long six hours, baby.”
Breathless, all I can do is nod and then he’s gone. Leaning against the door, I struggle to catch my breath. Damn, he’s quickly becoming addictive. Closing my eyes, I hope he’ll still feel the same way when I tell him that I have to quit.
The flood of the elevators pinging reaches me. I’m not paying attention to the spreadsheet in front of me. I feel his eyes on me and I look up.
“Ready?” His eyes are hungry.
“Yes, I’ll follow you in a minute. Where do you live?”
“No, you’re coming with me. I’m not going to be able to wait for you.”
“Alex,”
“I’ll let you follow me out to my car but don’t make me walk you to it because you won’t like it.”
His face is hard. I sigh. “Okay, fine. Give me five minutes.”
He nods and he’s gone. I swallow the lump in my throat. Fuck, I’m feeling jumbled up inside. All these feelings, need, hunger, desire... I’ve never felt them before and I’m having a hard time processing them. It’s only when I’m away from him that I feel somewhat normal yet there’s also a constant longing to be with him. Shaking my head, I start to shut down. There’s no figuring it out right now. I’m not sure it really matters. I want to be with Alex, have wanted him for what feels like forever, everything else feels secondary.
When I get to the garage, I see Alex leaning against his car. He opens the door and I slip inside. The trunk goes up and he tosses my bag into it.
“Where do you live?” I feel like I should know already.
“Don’t hold it against me, I bought it sight unseen from Boston. I live in the Water Tower building. The only things I told the real estate agent I needed was to be close to work and it needed to have a gym. The place seemed easy enough, they wanted just over what I was willing to spend and I negotiated down.”
Once again, all the ways we’re different crowd my mind. I’ve walked by the Water Tower building often, I’ve even met people who lived there but I have never even been inside. The question won’t go away, “What were you willing to spend?”
He shrugs, “Two million, I wanted a place I would be in for a while. I hate shopping for anything, especially real estate.”
I’m nodding, not looking at him. What the hell did he see in me, again? I want to ask the question but I don’t dare.
Opening the car door, his hand grabs mine and doesn’t let go. He introduces me at the front desk. The instructions are clear, anytime I want, I’m allowed into his condo. The more I see of the building the higher my stress goes. He lets go of my hand long enough to open the door and push me through it. Everything is white and tan.
“It looks like a hotel.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, the words slip out.
Laughing, he hugs me to him. “You’re right, this is just the living room but the whole place looks like this. You don’t know how often I’ve thought of changing it. I don’t like the idea of my space filled with people I don’t know, I would love it if you changed it up. I love your place, it’s homey and the art on the walls is eclectic still all complement each other. Don’t look so scared, come on, the bedroom is where I want you now the most.”
It’s a long, slow and lazy weekend. Alex is funny, which I hadn’t expected. He also has the dirtiest mouth, which had surprised the hell out of me. I love every moment, he’s at turns the charming playboy I had thought him to be, then he’s down and dirty, filthy and raunchy, greedy, and everything in between.
By Sunday morning, I’m feeling sore and a little bit of a sex goddess. Alex’s avid and total enjoyment of my body is a huge confidence booster. He hadn’t been joking about the lack of clothing. At first I had wanted to hide, yet seeing his obvious desire for me has me sitting in at the kitchen table nude and carefree. Watching him make breakfast is nice, I’ve never had anyone want to take care of me before. Alex had been catering to my every want this weekend. We’d ordered in twice, and both times he had me pick. Even the few times we settled on the couch he handed me the remote, showing me how to work it. They were little things, yet they felt enormous to me.
Smiling at me, he sets down the scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.
Finally, I break the silence. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”
Shrugging, he shakes his head, opening his mouth he closes it again and picks up his fork.
“Alex, you can’t not say anything, after all of that.” I grumble.
Setting down his fork, he rests his palm in his hand and looks me in the eye, his blue eyes are dark. “I’ve pictured you here for so long now the reality of it feels bigger than I thought it would.”
His sincerity is clear, swallowing is harder than it had been a moment ago, and I have no idea what to say.
“I meant what I said in your office the first night. You’re mine, I’m not letting you go. This isn’t a weekend thing or even scratching an itch. I finally understand why you have such low self-esteem. I’m willing to be patient as you work through that. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll never hurt you and I’ll always treat you like the gift you are to me.”
They are the scariest and most beautiful words I’ve ever heard, and for reasons I don’t even understand they cause me to burst into tears. Seconds later, I’m in his arms.
“Shh, sweetheart, I know it’s a little scary but I needed you to know that. To not ever question where you stand and what you mean to me.”
How is being in his arms the best place in the world to be? Stop, stop asking questions and just enjoy the moment, and clutching him close I do.
Chapter Eight
As I watch the announcement of Alex’s promotion, and listen to Alex’s acceptance, I’m not really listening. Maybe because it’s been four months since that first night, it’s not nearly as bittersweet of a moment as I thought it would be. Pride actually stirs deep inside. I’ve learned more about how far up and well he did at Kaplan and Kaplan, and am surprised he’d been willing to come to a company as small as ours.
Alex admitted he’d gone into Kaplan and Kaplan out of Harvard, and they had hit him up for a very large loan to stay afloat. After promises of owning a part of what he was working for, he bit. Then came the time when he’d been handed a check for the loan with a fair interest rate. There would be no owning of a piece of a family firm, they didn’t want to add Hutchison to the build
ing, had known it all along. He had learned his lesson and considered starting his own firm, then Tim had come calling. All cards on the table, and with binding paperwork in place, Alex had seen the company as his best option. Both Alex and Tim had made the right decision, Alex fit, and would take the company far.
Only, I’m not looking forward to tonight when I tell him I’m leaving the company. I know he’ll resist, and deep down I’m worried our relationship might not be strong enough to endure the fight. I want it to, I can’t imagine my life without Alex in it, yet I know I can’t stay.
It’s not about Alex getting the promotion over me. While it had led to me thinking of leaving, it’s really about me doing something for me. The promotion had shown me it didn’t matter how hard I worked and how much I gave of myself, I was disposable to a company I had given my life to. Knowing that made me realize I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to put in the long hours and hard work for someone else, I want to do it for me. I had made the contacts, and I had a reputation I could use to go into business for myself. I’d been quietly researching, and know what I want to do. For the first time in a long time, I’m excited but I’m also a little scared, not of my future solo business, but of what it will mean to my relationship with Alex.
I’m hoping my decision won’t be the end of us. There are times I still wonder if I’m dreaming when we are together. Having the freedom to be able to reach out touch him and have him smile back at me. The last few months have been the happiest of my entire life. Alex is loving, still voracious sexually which makes my confidence grow steadily every day. He also loves taking me out and showing me things about the city I’d grown up in and had yet to experience. We’d been to the symphony four times because I had loved it the first time. Alex enjoys plays and we go at least once a week. We’d come close to having a fight when I came over one weekend to find clothes in the closet. I hated the idea of him spending money on me, my stupid yelling it made me feel like a whore had turned into the hottest moment we had up to that point.