Totally Devoted

by Wanitta Praks

  Looking back now, Giovanni viewed his life like a bleak shadow, a misty fog. His future had never contained any beam of bright light, like what most kids his age would experience. If he were to describe his life as a painting, the colors he used would be bold ones, harsh ones, that affected the eyes. Like red, black, and gray. Such painful colors mixed into the painting. There would be no pictures. Just an abstract sort of painting, filled with shapes. There would be sharp jagged edges, no smooth straight lines or soft curves. The texture would be rough, like walking on stony roads without any shoes for miles and miles.

  The color red represented the blood he shed, the tears he’d cried, and the pain he’d endured growing up. The black represented his black future, his dark past, and the overcasting shadow of the present. Finally, the color gray represented the overall balance of his life. Gray, the middle ground between black and white. The tipping point between good and evil, and that balance between legal and illegal. Gray was his whole life, his whole world, the mafia world.

  Giovanni had lived through life in three different stages. The time before he knew anything about the mafia, the time he was a mafia member, and the time where he was now the mafia ringleader, the boss of all bosses. All those different stages had taught him many valuable lessons in life.

  Prior to being a mafia member, he was just a trailer park kid, born to an unknown Italian father, not knowing much of life. His mother was what people called white trash. She worked two jobs. One during the day as a waitress, and one during the night where she brought men back to their trailer. She fucked them. They fucked her. Once the trailer park community knew of her night job, they called him trailer trash kid.

  When he turned nine, they met Rocco Bianchi. Rocco fell in love with his mother on first glance. They fucked, they married. They moved to Sacramento, leaving behind their dirt-poor lifestyle in the trailer park van. In Sacramento, where no one knew who she was, his mother ended up living the high life. High on drugs. High on cocaine. He now had a new name, too. They called him the mafia kid.

  That name made him famous. That name made other kids run from him in fear. And along with that name, too, came trouble. In abundance. From small fights resulting in small cuts and bruises, to big fights that involved stabbing and bashing.

  By the time he’d turned fourteen, he’d had enough of that shit life, too. He wanted out. He’d packed up and moved on. But life on the streets was not much better. If he reflected on it now, it was the most miserable time of his life. He fought every day.

  He fought for a chance to survive; he fought for a place to stay. Fuck, he’d even fought with the pigeons for a piece of stale bread. But he learned one important lesson during that phase in his life. That it was a man eats man world. Survival of the fittest. And he was not fit. He got trashed at, bashed at, stabbed at and left to die on the curbside of a ditch. When he thought he could survive no more, old man Dente found him.

  He was already fifteen years old then, malnourished, and in need of urgent medical attention. Old man Dente took him under his wing and became his mentor. He gave him shelter. He gave him food. He now had a new lease on life. A glimmer of hope.

  Until he found out old man Dente was also mafia. He rejected him, ran away from him, until old man Dente bashed some sense into him.

  You go out there again and you will die. You have no prospect of a future; you have no one to support you. You are born to be mafia. Take that name and turn it into something good. Be like a tree. Grow. Become stronger. Do better. Until you reach the top. Where the light of the sun shines only on you. Then you can reform. Change your status. Once you are up there, no one can touch you. You are your own destiny. Choose this path and make it yours.

  And that was what he did. He became a tree, absorbing all the nutrients of life, growing up little by little, learning all new life skills, until he’d reached the top, and now, here he was, a fully-grown tree.

  He’d amassed great fortune, but he also gave millions away. He’d enabled the economy, but also supported the poor. He walked a fine line between good and evil. During the day, he had the face of an angel, a billionaire, and the star elite of public society. But when darkness hit, that mask came off. In the underground world where it was survival of the fittest, he was a mafia boss, a ruthless one who no one dared fuck with.

  This was now his life. And he would live like this until the very end. But now that Jennifer had come back into his life, he wanted to tip this balance. Move more toward the societal side and leave behind his dark world. And he’d been doing that for some time now.

  She was his blood life. She was his soul. If anything were to happen to her, he’d fuck the world over to make it right again.

  Giovanni’s mind grew distracted. Something on his desk caught his attention. He picked it up. It was that birthday card sent from his mother. She’d sent him roses too, his favorite flowers, but he’d thrown those away. How did the card appear on his desk?

  He walked to the trash bin and threw that away too. There was no use thinking of the past.

  He was about to head back to work when his phone rang. It was Finnie.

  “Boss,” his underling said. “I’m on the way home. Miss Amelia is with me.”

  “And?”

  “Jenny is not with us.”

  “Get to the point. What are you trying to tell me?”

  “She’s still at the park. She said she’ll take a taxi home.”

  His heart dropped. Not again. Not fucking again!

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” He yelled down the line. “Why the fuck would she be at the park. She should still be in class.”

  “Boss. The sisters had a chat at this old café. I don’t think it’s too good. Jenny was crying her eyes out.”

  “Fuck—” His heart was racing now, and he was panicking until he saw Finnie’s car coming up the driveway. He raced downstairs, and confronted him, but Amelia came through the door first.

  “Amelia, what did you talk to Jay about? Why was she crying? Even though you’re her sister, I will never forgive you if you hurt her.”

  “You are still the same, Giovanni. After all this time, you could only think of her.”

  Giovanni was taken aback. She spoke like they had met before. Had he met Amelia before? Why couldn’t he remember her?

  “You should go to her,” she said to him. “She’s waiting for you.”

  “Where is she?”

  “The same place where you waited for her, from fourteen years ago.”

  Giovanni bolted into his car and drove to the site. By the time he got there, the sky had decided to make a mockery of his feelings by flooding the whole damn place with rain. He pulled open his umbrella, one hand on his phone, when he saw a message from his lover.

  Gio. I love you. Come back to me. I’m waiting for you here now. At our promised place.

  Giovanni’s heart raced. Where was that place? Where was that fucking tree? It had been long ago since he’d last been here. His memory was grainy at best.

  He speed-dialed her number. He heard her pick up.

  “Jay!” he shouted into the phone, competing against the sound of the torrential rain. “Where are you?”

  But he couldn’t hear her voice. The sound of the pounding rain was so loud, it rang in his ears.

  Fuck! He was mad. He was going to give her an earful when he found her and give her a punishment she truly deserved. Until he saw her, bundled up under the tallest beech tree and his heart contracted, and his memory of fourteen years ago came flooding back.

  He saw himself sitting and laughing while his little friend Jennifer was making jokes. He saw himself hunched over with bruises on his face when he met her for the first time. He saw himself sitting beside her when she’d offered him coffee. He remembered her slapping his hand when he tried taking a peek at the coffee inside the white foam cup. All their happy memories had been of them sitting under that beech tree. His heart shook.

  “Jay!” he shouted, and his voice just d
issipated with the sound of the pounding rain. Until he saw her look up.

  “Gio.” She gave him the sweetest, warmest smile he’d ever seen, then he saw those tears in her eyes mixing with the raindrops rolling down her face. “I’m here now. I’ve kept our promise. Come back to me.”

  His heart was beating faster and faster. Until the sound of the pounding rain ceased and all he could hear was his own heart. It was racing toward her. His Jay. His Jennifer. She’d remembered him.

  Chapter 15

  The Most Beautiful Scenery is You Part 1

  “Jay!”

  I looked up as soon as I heard that deep baritone calling my name. His was a voice I would recognize even in my sleep. I reacted immediately, climbing to my feet.

  “Gio,” I called out, a broad smile stretching my face, my tears mixing in with the rain. “I’m here now. I’ve kept our promise. Come back to me.”

  This man who everyone feared, this very man who had the world at the tip of his finger, was now running toward me, drenched in rain. His pristine white shirt, his black chino pants and the Italian leather shoes, clothing that cost in the thousands of dollars, were now drenched and soaked, a contrast to the immaculate impression I had of him from four months ago.

  When I’d first met him, I’d compared him to Adonis, the statue. He was handsome and mysterious, cold and calculative. I’d viewed him as untouchable, a man beyond my reach. He was my master, but now, he was more than that.

  I’d seen him laugh. I’d seen him cry. I’d seen him mad, and I’d seen him sad. He was no longer a marble statue with a cold handsome face. He was a human being who had flaws. But these flaws were what attracted me to him. He was real and unbiased; he was honest and truthful. All these qualities made me love him for who he was, not what he was.

  We had come so far in our relationship. We started off as maid and master, but now we were lovers, soulmates, bonded mates, and best friends. He was my heart and my soul. He was my everything.

  “Jay,” he called me again from a distance, and I ran to him, jumping into his arms when he got close. The umbrella slipped from his hand as he reached out to grab me. We both embraced each other under the falling rain. He immediately found my lips, kissing me with so much passion and desire.

  He ran his tongue to plant a kiss at the junction of my throat, and I arched for him, giving him better access. He could kiss me, bite me, do whatever he wanted with me and I wouldn’t care. Just knowing that I was now his Jennifer had cemented my belief that I would be his forever.

  I chased those lips, wanting those lips on me for a second time. I wanted him to feel me, this innate desire deep in my soul that only he could ignite.

  We kissed for the longest time, until he finally pulled back. I saw his eyelashes glistening with droplets of rain, his slightly swollen lips where I had bitten. Giovanni Dente. He was the most beautiful scenery in my life. And I wanted to cement this memory in my heart forever.

  “Gio. You came. You came,” I rasped next to his ear, running my tongue to lick the outer shell. “I’m sorry for not remembering you. I’m sorry for forgetting our past.”

  He didn’t respond. He didn’t need to. His action was enough for me to know he understood. He hugged me fiercely, encircling his arms around my body. This was his answer. He wasn’t going to let me go. I was his forever.

  After fourteen years of separation, we were back with each other. Although we had grown up and matured during the space of that time, we still held the same innocent feelings toward each other. Friendship. Care. And love.

  I cupped the side of his face with my hand, my eyes locking with his. He gazed at me with that same intense look, filled with love and adoration. It was within these eyes that I’d found love. Those deep midnight-black soulful eyes. He was my star. He was my universe. He was my entire solar system, and I would perish if he disappeared.

  He was an open book. And to me, he gave access to all the pages of his life. Because I was his special someone. And now I wanted to return the favor. I wanted him to know all my true feelings. I wanted to bare everything to him. Show him my heart, my soul, and my entire being.

  “Gio,” I said, looking into his soulful eyes. “I have a really bad memory. I’m sorry I can’t remember our past. But from now on, everything you say to me, everything you do for me, I will never forget them. I’ll remember them all, Gio. I don’t know if I have told you this, and if I did, I want to tell you again, that I like you, very, very much. I adore you, Gio. I love you, I want you, I can’t ever, ever leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Gio. Only you.

  “I want to be with you every day. And you can do anything you want to do with me. I give you permission. I’m not just saying it just because we were childhood friends or because we are lovers now. I say it because these are my real feelings.

  “Gio, you have totally captivated me, totally allured me, and now I have become totally intoxicated by you. I am only at my happiest when I am right here, in your arms. Gio, you are not just my lover. You are my best friend, my bosom friend, my partner, my boyfriend, my bond mate, my soulmate. You are my everything.

  “I am totally devoted to you, love only you, because it has to be you. I don’t want anyone else but you. It can’t be anyone else but you. Only you, Gio. Only you can complete me. You are the only one for me.” I confessed everything to him. Bared all my feelings to him. I had nothing left to hide now. I needed for him to understand where we stand, and this was my intention.

  He gazed back at me with eyes full of adoration and love. “Jay!” His voice quivered. “Baby. I also adore you. I also love you. I don’t want anyone else but you. I can’t love anyone else but you. You are my entire soul. You are the air I need to breathe; you are the earth that keeps me grounded. You are the sun that makes me shine. My world would be dark without you.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore that you don’t remember the past. I don’t fucking care about the past anymore. What’s more important are our present and future. You are my present, Jay. You are also my future. I want to love you more and more. In the past we forged our relationship as friends, but now you are my lover, you are my life. I want to create memories with you, Jay. Each day. Every day. Until we grow old. I can’t have anyone else, Jay. You are the only one for me. You are my special someone, my lover, my girlfriend, my partner in life. You are my soulmate and my best friend. I love you very, very much.”

  His declaration was sincere, and it showed in his eyes, those deep midnight-black soulful eyes I loved looking at so much. I gazed at them and saw my own future, right there with him.

  I held my hand out, the twin dragon necklace in my palm. I wanted him to put it on me.

  His eyes widened as soon as he saw it. “You found it?”

  I shook my head. “Amelia kept it for me.”

  He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Actions spoke louder than words. He put the necklace on me. I touched the pendant. After fourteen long years, the necklace had now returned to its rightful owner.

  I stood on tiptoe and rasped next to his ear, “Gio. I want you. I want to make love to you wearing only this necklace.”

  Giovanni had a glazed look in his eyes, and he immediately took my hand and dragged me to the nearest five-star hotel, checking us into the top floor. As soon as we reached the privacy of the room, his lips were on me.

  We didn’t need words between us now. Our hearts understood everything.

  He shed my clothes then made quick work of removing his own. In an instant, he was on top of me, his lips kissing me everywhere.

  I was naked and I was his. I was his road map, and he wanted to memorize every bit of me. His hands, mouth, tongue traveled lower, touching, licking, tasting until they reached the center of my core. He parted my legs, angling one to position on his shoulder, to gain better access.

  “Ahhh…Gio.” I moaned, my whole body going hypersensitive. Every single fiber within my being lit up with sparks.

  “You are my Jay.
You are my Jennifer. I love you, and I want you. I want my cock deep inside of you, so you can feel all of me.”

  His words lit up a fire in my core, and I panted, also rasping out, “Gio. Want you. Need you. Need you inside me. Please.”

  I could no longer speak in full sentences. My words were broken, as my desire took over. The heat inside of me caused my whole skin to perspire. I clung on to his strong shoulders as he entered me in one sleek move.

  “Gio. You’re so full inside me,” I moaned as he thrusted into me.

  “Jay. My Jennifer,” he growled beside my ear, and my heart thumped harder. “I love you. I fucking love you so much.”

  His words gave me wings, and I was flying and flying until I reached heaven. Yes, this was my heaven.

  Chapter 16

  The Most Beautiful Scenery is You Part 2

  She was the most beautiful scenery in his life. Her light-brown curls, damp from the rain, shone like liquid gold under the light of the room. Her cupid’s bow lips, pink and swollen from their kiss in the rain. And right now, she was totally naked and on top of him, riding him like a fucking cowgirl.

  How the fuck she’d learned that move, he hadn’t a clue, but he was taking it in full stride. She was hot and heavy, and he was already sweating again, droplets dripping down his forehead. He watched as she lifted an inch off him, then slammed herself down, right on his erected cock. He roared, feeling the tightening of her pussy wrapped around him.

  God, she was perfect. She was custom-made for him. She completed him. She was the only one for him.

  After their sex, she’d fallen asleep. It must have been a tiring day for her. He’d kissed her damp forehead and covered her with a blanket. He watched her sleep. She really was the most beautiful scenery in his life. She was the candle that lit up his dark world.