Certain Requirements

by Elinor Zimmerman

  “See to the boi, Phoenix. Whatever way they like.”

  I looked at Ray, smiling in a way I hoped was an invitation.

  “Um, oral pretty much always works on me,” they said with unexpected shyness and took off their boots, then slipped off their harness and cock.

  Kris waved me in the direction of dental dams and gloves. I rolled my wrists as I got up. Being tied up hadn’t hurt, but it had left me a little stiff and unnatural with my hands. I fumbled snapping the gloves on, struggled to open the dental dam, and generally moved with less finesse than usual.

  Ray spread their legs wide on the bed to reveal a bald cunt. Kris moved to a chair to watch us, her eyes half-closed. I dribbled lube onto Ray’s large clit, stroked it for a second with my gloved thumb, and then added more lube. I held the dental dam over their cunt, and started to lick through the latex. I liked the noises that started pouring out of Ray almost as soon as I got to work.

  “A little more pressure,” they moaned. “Flick the tip of your tongue…yes, just like that. Oh, fuck, yes.”

  The helpful hints faded away as I got a handle on Ray’s preferences. Ray got louder and louder, and more colorful in their use of pleasure-filled expletives. Ray thrashed, swore, hit the headboard with their fists, kicked the bed, and generally made me feel like I was driving them wild. I loved it and responded even more enthusiastically, which made Ray louder, which made me give more energy, which made Ray come with a full-on scream.

  “Perfect,” Kris said. She stroked my head as soon as Ray had collapsed and I’d gotten rid of the latex. “Good girl. You did exactly what I said. Your reward is that you get to come again.”

  I was shocked. I felt sure the night was over. “I couldn’t possibly,” I said, then I caught myself after a beat and added, “Sir.”

  Kris slapped me in the face, even harder than she had earlier. “You’re going to follow my directions.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Without another word, she took off my camisole and bound my wrists again. This time she secured me to the eyehooks, with me kneeling on the ground. Ray, still a little groggy from their orgasm, watched with interest from the bed.

  “I was going to make this easy for you,” Kris said. “But you questioned me, so you need to be punished a bit first. Boi, get the flogger and come here.”

  Ray jumped up and followed the directions right away. Ray was still naked except for the collar, while Kris was almost fully dressed. She went over to the dresser and replaced the small cock with the large blue one she’d introduced me to before we even lived together.

  “You’re going to flog her until I tell you to stop,” Kris told Ray. “Then we will make her come.”

  Ray obediently began flogging my back. They did not start gently, the way Kris always did, but with the kind of heavy strokes that exhaust the arm when you give them. I jumped.

  “I know it hurts,” Kris said sympathetically as she shoved her cock in my mouth. I gagged and she pulled out.

  “Color?” she asked me.

  The sting of my back didn’t make me change my answer. I wanted this, wanted whatever Kris had in store for me. “Green, Sir,” I said without hesitation, even as I pulled away from another blow.

  She smiled and eased into my mouth more gently. “This is happening because you didn’t follow directions.” She pumped away at my mouth. “Do you understand?”

  I nodded with her cock in my mouth.

  “Will you obey now?”

  I nodded again.

  “Boi, stop,” she commanded Ray. “Put on a glove, then get down on your knees and play with her tits. If you’re a very good boi, I’ll let you have her pussy too.”

  “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir,” Ray said and did as they were told.

  Ray knelt back on their heels in front of me and groped my breasts, pinching my nipples, and then sucking on them intensely. Ray was awkwardly squeezed below Kris, her pussy over their head. My clit was aching to be touched again. All the while, Kris continued to fuck my mouth. “Touch her pussy,” she told Ray. Ray kept their mouth and one hand working my breasts, while their other hand rubbed my clit. Meanwhile, Kris was beginning to tremble, a sign she was about the come again. She moved faster, harder, while Ray worked on me. The intensity of it knocked me over the edge. Kris came with a shiver and pulled out of my mouth just in time for me to cry out.

  Ray didn’t milk my orgasm for more like Kris always did, but it was just as well because I was spent. Kris sank onto the bed and ordered Ray to untie me and to clean everything up. Once I was free, I stumbled over and lay beside Kris.

  “Good?” she asked.

  I could only nod. Once Ray had put everything away and dressed, they lay with us too. Kris had arranged for Eric and Derek to pick up Ray later that night. The three of them were going to Ray’s favorite late night diner for aftercare and pancakes. Until Eric and Derek arrived, Ray, Kris, and I lay in bed silently, dazed, cuddling passively by resting our limbs on each other. I was in the middle, exactly how I wanted.

  Eric and Derek gave all of us water and lots of praise when they got to our place. They offered to take us to the diner too, but Kris and I decided to stay home. We each hugged Ray, Eric, and Derek, and then we plopped onto the couch.

  “Want something to eat?” Kris asked once they’d left.

  I rested my head on her shoulder. “Maybe popcorn.”

  “Sure. We could watch a movie or something.”

  I managed a handful of popcorn and the opening credits before my eyelids drooped. When I woke up, it was morning, I was tucked in my bed, and Kris had already gone to work.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Okay, so I woke up alone after my huge, impossible fantasy became an even better reality. It was nothing to freak out about. Sure, I felt an uneasy resentment in the pit of my stomach. I was still crushing on Kris and hurt she wasn’t there the morning after. But I didn’t have time to think about any of that. I had an audition to prepare for.

  Sasha and I fine-tuned our routine all week, even canceling a couple of classes to fit in more rehearsal time. By the time we actually tried out, my barrel rolls and heel hangs felt as automatic as tying my shoes. Our routine for the director, Damien, and his producers was, well, flawless. My only worry afterward was that because of all that rehearsing, I was actually pretty sick of the routine, a variation of a multi-apparatus number we’d performed before. I wondered if my boredom showed.

  “What the fuck ever,” Sasha said when we were in her car and I told her my fears. “We nailed that. Did you see Damien’s face? He would have handed us contracts right then if he could have.”

  “Do you really think so?” I chewed my lip.

  Sasha nodded. “This is happening.”

  “Should I tell Kris?”

  Sasha groaned. “Does everything have to be about your weird fuck-buddy roommate?”

  “It’s just, if I might be going on tour…”

  “Stop making lesbian drama for yourself. You had a great audition; you’re feeling good about it, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “So embrace that feeling! What would telling her do right now? Best-case scenario is she’ll be happy for you, maybe buy you dinner. But the chick is already letting you live rent free because of your magic coochie or whatever, so I don’t think dinner is going to make that big a difference in your life. Worst-case scenario is she’ll be mad you decided to try out for a tour and you get in a big fight. What if she wants you to move out?”

  “It wouldn’t be like that.”

  “At the very least, it’s going to be so much fucking processing and worrying, and I’m going to have to hear about how you’re not sure about it, blah blah blah. Tell her when we get the call that we’re hired. There’s no point in creating stress for yourself about something that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s not like she needs to split the rent.”

  “I just feel bad keeping secrets from her.”

  Sasha rolled her eyes and then softened
a little. “Do what feels right,” she said. “Don’t get in your own head about it.”

  What felt right though? Telling her felt like what I should do. What I wanted to do was say nothing, though, and that’s what I did. I didn’t tell anyone else about my audition either. Maybe I didn’t want to jinx it. Maybe it felt wrong to tell people when I wasn’t telling Kris. But whatever it was, I didn’t say a word about it, even when I was hanging out with Meghan a few days later and she asked me about work.

  “You mean my thing with Kris?” I shifted uncomfortably.

  “No,” she answered with a laugh. “I mean your actual work, your aerials. How’s that going?”

  “Oh, fine. I’m teaching, doing a few shows, plugging along.” I glanced at the clock in the coffee shop. “Speaking of work, I need to get dinner ready for my not-actual job.”

  “You’re like a housewife,” Meghan said with a raised eyebrow.

  “That’s the fantasy. So right now I’m a faux-housewife who needs to go grocery shopping so I can cook.”

  “I need to pick up a couple of things from the store too. Mind if I tag along?”

  “I’d love it.” I hopped up and offered her my elbow. She took it with exaggerated grace and we strolled to the nearest Whole Foods. As we wandered the aisles, we debated whether or not to pay eight dollars for a bag of grapes. Soon our conversation turned to more personal topics. By the time we were in the checkout line, we had wound around to my situation with Kris.

  “You still enjoying it?” she asked.

  “Actually, the most amazing thing happened last Friday.” I looked at the checkout guy. “I’ll tell you later.”

  “Don’t say something like that and then leave me hanging!” she exclaimed.

  “I could call you later.”

  “I don’t want to wait until later. Tell me now.”

  “Unless you want to help me make dinner, it’s going to have to wait.”

  “I could help,” Meghan said. “If all I have to do is chop stuff.”

  I doubted that. Though I was no John, I managed fine with recipes, but Meghan’s culinary skills were only slightly better than Kris’s. Besides, I wasn’t sure about having people helping me with my chores. But my desire to talk and Meghan’s puppy dog eyes won out.

  “Yes, please,” I said finally. “I’d love some help. Do you have time?”

  “Absolutely. Bill has plans tonight, and honestly, I was probably just going to order a pizza and rewatch Angel.”

  “Thanks for choosing me over vintage Joss Whedon.”

  “Well…” Meghan said. We’d left the store and were strolling toward my place. “So what’s this amazing thing?”

  I glanced around. No one was paying any attention to us, but I lowered my voice anyway. “Long story short, we had a three-way.”

  Meghan’s eyebrows shot up and she tipped an imaginary cap my way.

  “Some friends of Kris’s have this really cute sub and it was this whole scene, with Kris dominating both of us. It was basically like my fantasy come to life.” I blushed.

  “That’s awesome!” Meghan punched me in the arm playfully. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Yeah, me too actually. I’ve always wanted to, but I’d always been worried that having a threesome would mess up my existing relationship, but everything is fine.” Of course, actually things were a little awkward with Kris because I was still quietly resentful that I’d woken up alone that morning, but I didn’t feel like getting into that with Meghan.

  “That’s really great, Phoenix. But I’ve got to ask, why didn’t you ever try being the guest star to some other couple if you were worried about shaking up a relationship? You’d get all the fun without having to deal with the emotional fallout.”

  “Because my fantasy isn’t about being the novelty, it’s about getting security and novelty at the same time. And besides, whether or not you remember it, I was a serial monogamist who only had sex in the context of serious relationships until recently.”

  “Oh yeah,” she said with a laugh. “I keep forgetting that because you’ve made such a seamless transition to this whole thing.”

  “I didn’t really expect it to go so well myself. Maybe I’m built for this. It’s better than most of my relationships in a lot of ways. I’m not getting lost in a girlfriend for a change. There’s so much less drama.” I said it with such conviction that I almost believed it myself.

  “Is there anything you miss, though? About having a girlfriend instead of having this?” Meghan asked.

  I bristled to cover up how much I actually wanted more. I wanted to kiss when we did things like organize the shelves. I wanted to not wake up alone. I wanted us to spend more time together, talking and just hanging out. I wanted to tell her to stop working so much. I wanted to eat dinner with her and talk about our days and our hopes and our fears. I wanted to be allowed to fall for her. Instead of the truth I said, “I miss the casual affection. And I miss saying that I have a girlfriend. But for the most part, I’m pretty happy with what I have right now.”

  She nodded. “I’m glad it’s working out.”

  “Thank you again,” I said.

  “Oh, any time.”

  We got to my place and started cooking. Meghan washed and chopped while I threw together a stir-fry. I realized too late that it would probably be cold by the time Kris got home. I sent her a text explaining that I’d overestimated how long it takes to fry vegetables and tofu, and that Meghan was visiting and I hoped that was okay.

  To my surprise, she texted back asking me to keep dinner warm for a little bit, promising to be home soon, and telling me to invite Meghan to stay for dinner. Who was this person, I wondered, and what had she done with Kris?

  “Um, Meghan, you don’t want to stay for dinner, do you?” I asked.

  “That sounds sort of like an invitation, but also like you want to me to turn you down.” Meghan feigned serious thought for a minute. “I like giving folks a hard time, so I’m going to accept this invitation and tell you I’d be delighted.”

  I must have looked nervous because she patted my hand. “If that’s okay?”

  “It is! I’m just surprised Kris is on board. I don’t think she ever has anyone over, let alone one of my friends. And she says she’s on her way over, but I don’t think she’s ever left work this early on a weeknight except when she was sick.”

  “It’s seven o’clock,” Meghan said. “I always leave by six thirty and I’m a lawyer.”

  “You’re not a corporate lawyer. You’re the kind that doesn’t make money,” I said.

  “What I’m saying is, I’m in a profession that’s all about working ridiculous hours, and even I think that working as much as she does is ridiculous.”

  “I’d never argue with you on that.”

  “Do you ever tell Kristen that?”

  “Uh, do you understand the deal here? I’m her sub. She doesn’t want career advice from me.”

  “Bill’s my sub and he gives me his opinion all the time.”

  “That’s different. You too are married. It’s not a twenty-four seven thing. You play and then you’re equal partners.”

  “This isn’t a twenty-four seven thing. Doesn’t Kristen always want somebody who’s independent in addition to submitting?”

  “Independent is not the same thing as telling her what to do. She wants me to have my own life, which I have, and I stay out of hers.”

  In the middle of this little debate, Kris opened the door. “Hi, guys!” she called. She strode into the kitchen with a big smile on her face and a bouquet of flowers in her hand. She kissed me on the cheek, handed me the flowers, and walked over to Meghan and gave her a hug. Stunned, I wandered over to the cabinet to find a vase.

  “It’s nice to see you, Meghan,” she said.

  “Thanks for having me. I always appreciate being fed without having to cook.”

  “Meghan’s being modest. She helped with dinner.” I freed the flowers from the cellophane wrapping. Kri
s smiled, so apparently having help wasn’t against our rules.

  “Thanks, Meghan. How’s life?”

  Meghan and Kris caught up as I quietly served up food, poured wine, and wondered what the hell was going on. The conversation stayed superficial and pleasant for most of the meal. Then when Meghan started her second glass of wine she said, “I hear you work too much.”

  My face felt hot and I looked away.

  “I suppose I do,” Kris said. “But I’m thinking of changing that.”

  “That sounds mysterious,” Meghan said.

  “I’m thinking of selling my company.”

  Had I been holding anything, I would have dropped it. My mouth fell open. “What?” I gasped.

  “Yeah, I talked to some lawyers today about what that might look like. When I got your message, I thought, why not try out what it would be like if I didn’t have so much responsibility?” She sounded proud of herself.

  “What do you think?” Meghan asked.

  “Completely worth it.” She raised her glass. “Good food, good company. It was definitely a reason to leave work.”

  My face burned again, but with jealousy and anger instead of embarrassment. My company wasn’t worth leaving work for, but Meghan’s was? They’d met a handful of times before that night. Even catching one of my performances wasn’t a priority to Kris and I’d had to bug her into going, but dinner with an acquaintance was worth leaving work for? I quietly gathered the dishes and started rinsing them to avoid facing Kris and Meghan. How could Kris tell all this to someone she barely knew when she’d never even mentioned the idea to me?

  “So have you decided to sell?” Meghan continued. It felt like I wasn’t even in the room.

  “I’m leaning that way. It might take some time though.”

  “That’s exciting! What a big change. What are you going to do instead?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve worked nonstop for my entire adult life. Maybe I’ll travel, or sleep in, or whatever normal people do.”