Loose Lips Sink Ships
Page 9
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After changing into a stiff, white t-shirt and blotchy blue shorts, Avery slammed the gym locker closed, banging it against the side of her protruding backpack. Annoyed, she pulled it open again to adjust her bag, which was unzipped at the top. Her hand grazed a piece of paper she had shoved in there. Clutching it, she took another look at her chemistry test. A big, red letter “F” preceded “uck you, Mr. Nielson” written in red lipstick.
Shoving the paper and the bag further into the locker, she shut the door and turned to the empty locker room. She hated gym class and would’ve stayed there all period if she didn’t know their bitchy teacher would come after her. Why didn’t they have a male gym teacher so she could use her menstrual cycle as an excuse not to do anything?
Grumbling, she walked into the gymnasium, where a number of volleyball games were underway. She spotted Ms. Downing immediately, because the balloons on her chest were always shrink-wrapped in some bright pink fashion atrocity. It thrilled Avery to find her so distracted, though all the people running around and the balls flying by made it impossible to tell what pinned her to the bleachers on the opposite side.
About half the girls were on the bleachers watching the other half get knocked around by overzealous boys. Avery climbed a few rows and headed down, passing girls she didn’t like until she got to her friend Eri, who sat alone near the end.
“Carter’s trying to hit on Ms. Downing,” Eri stated, staring blankly out at the gym floor.
“What? You’ve got to be kidding me!” Avery howled, jumping to her feet, and leaning so she could see what was going on. It was true; Carter was the reason Ms. Downing ignored her class. Seeing them flirting together put Avery in a murderous rage. She clenched her fists, scowling.
“Can I punch you in the face, Eri?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
“Please!” Avery begged. “It’s not like Asians feel pain or anything.”
“First of all, I don’t think that’s true. Second of all, I’m not Asian. I’m AZN.”
Sitting back down, Avery continued to grumble and sulk. She set her elbows on her knees and stared at them across the gym. She needed to be with him, and because she wasn’t, it was impossible not to conclude that life sucks.
“The only reason he likes her is because she injected all those steroids into her boobs. I’ve got to find a way to get implants. Life without boobs is not a life worth living.”
“It’s not so bad,” Eri countered. “We won’t have them hanging around our knees in ten years. Plus we can take corners much tighter than these girls. Less wind-resistance and drag.”
Avery groaned, sure angst would start pouring out her ears any moment.
“You’re not supposed to have boobs anyway, so don’t try to argue with me!” she sniped, but Eri quickly countered.
“Your racism is running a little higher than usual. You must be really upset.”
“Yes, I’m upset!” Avery confirmed. “First my boyfriend breaks up with me for one little slip of the tongue, then he starts sleeping his way around town, banging every open hole he can fit his dick into, including my sister’s—”
“Isn’t your sister twelve?”
“Shh! And now as if he hadn’t mushroom slapped me in the face enough, he’s trying to pick up a teacher right in front of me! I’ve never been so humiliated in my life. I tried to kill myself, but nothing happened even after eating a whole bottle of Flintstones vitamins.”
Eri just stared at her for a moment, gritting her teeth. It didn’t matter if she were a little weirded out and didn’t know what to say. There were much more important things going on. Carter was attacking her, rubbing in his ill-gotten bachelorhood. But, oh no, Avery Leigh would not go down without a fight.
“He’s crossed the line now. I’m telling you, he’ll wish he’d never tried to mess with me. Does he really think I can’t get a teacher? I’ll show him!” she glowered.
“I have a feeling that’s not what he’s thinking at all. In fact, he looks pretty, um, focused on what’s in front of him,” Eri quibbled.
“I thought you were supposed to be smart! You just don’t get it. Once I bag a teacher, he’ll finally see that all along he’s been yearning for me. He’ll remember how it felt when we were together, and he’ll be dying to come back. And that’s when I’ll crush him for being such an asshole!”
Avery looked down at Eri, goading her into saying something. There was no doubt in her mind she was right, and everyone who obstructed her would get what’s coming to them.
“My guess is it won’t work out that way at all,” Eri scoffed. “Besides, there isn’t a single attractive male teacher in this school! I’d be so shocked if I saw one I’d probably jump right out of my clothes.”
Sighing, Avery sat back down on the bleachers. The reality of her plan started to settle in. This wouldn’t be an easy job to do, but she’d find a way to make it work.