Rules

by Doe, Anna B.

  Stopping in my tracks, I watch over the heads of my classmates, trying to see if that was actually Lia’s head peeking out or not. Because chances are, if this is Lia—not like I’ve seen many, if any, other girl with that particular shade of red hair in Greyford—Brook will be somewhere close by.

  As though I summoned her, people who have been standing between us move, revealing her to me. She doesn’t see me yet, but I see her. All five feet nothing dressed in ripped jeans and a black tee. Lia’s hand is looped around hers as they walk. Lia must have said something, because Brook’s head tilts back, neck exposed, her ponytail swaying with the movement as she laughs. And although the hallway is noisy, I can hear it. A slightly raspy sound, carefree and real, rolls in the air, making the fine hair at the nape of my neck stand.

  Swallowing the lump that suddenly formed in my throat, I start moving. In the distance, I can hear my name being called, but it’s dulled by the blood pumping through my veins.

  Lia is the first to see me, but before she can say anything, I wrap my hands around Brook from behind. Her body is tense as I pull her in my arms, her back crashing to my chest. I can hear her surprised sigh, but then her body relaxes as though it recognizes mine. Not wanting to overthink it, I lift her in the air and spin us both around.

  Her head tilts back, leaning against my shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Sanders?”

  I laugh at her loud shriek, but give us another spin just for the sake of it before putting her back on the ground and turning her to face me.

  “An 85,” I say, shoving the paper in her face.

  Her breathing is still labored, a confused frown between her brows. She takes the test from my hands, straightening the crumpled pages, her eyes scanning the words.

  I’m buzzing with barely contained energy. When the teacher returned the exams, Brook was the first person I thought of. The first one I wanted to share this with.

  The furrow slowly disappears, and I can see the moment she realizes what she’s holding. Her head snaps up, and I only get to see a flash of a smile before she squeals again, jumping at me.

  I’m so surprised, I almost lose my footing. Her arms wrap around my neck, legs hanging in the air above the floor as she squeezes tight.

  “I knew you could do it!”

  The lump I thought I pushed down is back. I pull her to my chest so she doesn’t fall down, returning her hug. Fighting with all the emotions clogging my throat, I listen to her soft giggles.

  Brook actually giggles.

  I never thought I’d hear it, but damn does it sound good. It’s light and resonant, showing me a glimpse of the girl I know is hidden somewhere inside of her, the girl she keeps locked away from everybody. Until now.

  Loosening her hold, Brook pulls back just enough so she can see my face. Her hand brushes away a runaway strand of hair. “I’m so happy for you, Max.”

  Her touch is tender, the tips of her fingers running through my hair softly. Her smile is so big I can see her teeth shining underneath the fluorescent light, minty breath touching my skin.

  I blink, realizing how close we are, her body plastered against mine, her face only inches away. Those wide, pink lips call to me. My eyes zero in on that pouty flesh, my tongue peeking out to wet my suddenly dry lips as I force my gaze to return to hers. Only, I catch her doing the same. Her cheeks flush at being caught, irises dilating even more.

  “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I finally rasp, breaking the sudden silence between us.

  My hand arches forward, fingers barely grazing against her face when our bubble bursts.

  “That is amazing, Max!” Lia says, lifting the crumpled sheet of paper off the floor. It must have fallen out of Brook’s hand somewhere around the time she threw herself at me.

  We both let go like we’ve been burned, suddenly aware of our surroundings. Brook’s cheeks grow redder, if that’s even possible, but she tries to play it cool, though Lia’s not buying it. Her knowing eyes dart between us, a sly smile curling her lips.

  “Brook was helping you with this?” Lia offers me the exam.

  I grab it and put it back in my backpack, avoiding her intrigued looks. “A time or two.” I shrug.

  I’m not even sure why I’m acting like this, trying to play it off. Brook has helped me a lot. Passing this class would have been impossible without her help, but to get an 85… I never even dreamed of scoring that high. With Brook’s help, nothing seemed as hard; for some reason, she knew what to do and say to make it all so much easier to understand.

  Rubbing the nape of my neck, I ask, “You two going to grab something to eat?”

  They nod in unison, Brook avoiding facing me, while Lia’s eyes tell me all I need to know. I might try to change the subject, but this—whatever this is—is far from over.

  Together we go to the cafeteria, our previous discussion forgotten.

  Lia tells me all about her holiday plans as we grab something to eat and go to our table where our usual group is already seated.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I slide next to Anette, who’s so concentrated on whatever she’s typing on her phone my sudden question startles her, making her jump in her seat.

  “Fuck, Max.” Jeanette glares, her hand rising, covering her rapidly beating heart. “Do you always have to sneak up on people?”

  I playfully pull at a strand of her hair. “I wasn’t sneaking up on anybody. If you weren’t so preoccupied with your phone, you’d have seen me. Who’re you texting anyway?”

  “Nobody,” she says quickly. Too quickly.

  With narrowed eyes, I look between the dark screen of her iPhone, which is still in her lap, and her too-casual face.

  Ignoring me, she starts picking at her food. Sighing, I turn toward the guys, who’re discussing our hockey schedule during the holidays. Even though we don’t officially have games until after the break, Coach still wants us to come to practice every day to keep up with our workout regimen and stay in shape.

  “Who are you texting, dude?” This time, the question comes from the other side of the table and is directed toward Andrew, drawing my attention. I look at him slumped in his seat, his phone clenched in one of his hands.

  “Yeah, who’re you texting?” I challenge, looking at him intently. Jeanette shifts in her chair, and I can’t help but give her a glance before returning my attention to Drew.

  I’m not sure what happened during the charity ball. Mom set Jeanette up on a date with the son of a family friend, and we stumbled upon Andrew at the event. For a while now I knew something had been going on between them. When their kiss went viral, both of them tried to reassure me it was nothing, but I didn’t buy it. The charity event only confirmed that because Andrew went ballistic. Not toward Anette, but the guy she was with. He seemed jealous even, not that I ever thought I’d see this guy care about a girl enough to act that way, but there was no other word to describe it.

  “Just some chick.” He shrugs, and I can feel my eyes narrow.

  “You hooking up with that cheerleader chick again?”

  “Nope, definitely not the cheerleader.”

  The guys laugh like they don’t believe him, and I hope for his sake that he’s telling the truth.

  “Dude.” This comes from Derek, who’s been concentrating on Lia since we got here. “Like he’d do the same girl twice. That would probably mean he’s engaged to her!”

  His statement causes a cacophony of laughter, but even that doesn’t dull out the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.

  “Already done?” I look at Jeanette’s half-eaten lunch before my disapproving gaze meets hers. We don’t say a word, our eyes doing all the talking.

  I thought we agreed, I say, looking at her barely touched food.

  It’s fine. I’m not hungry.

  Jeanette, I growl.

  Don’t be a worrywart, Max, then she says out loud, “Yeah, I have some studying to do before my math exam. I’ll see you later.” />
  I open my mouth to protest, this time out loud, the worry eating at me, but she’s already turned on the balls of her feet and is walking away. Watching after her, I can’t help but overthink everything that was exchanged, analyze her every word, every look on her face.

  Is there something going on again? Is that why she’s not eating? She said she’s done with that shit. She promised. She wouldn’t do anything like that again.

  But what if she is?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  BROOK

  I shiver as I walk down a dark alley. It’s full-on winter now, and my trusty leather jacket isn’t cutting it. My whole body is shaking violently with the strong wind. My face is red, just like my fingers. I’ve known for a while now that soon I’ll have to cave and get something more winter appropriate, but not yet. All the money I got at my shit job went to a safe place where I’ll be able to use it later on.

  That was my guaranteed money, and I couldn’t bring myself to use it a second before it was absolutely necessary.

  Sucking it up, I rub my hands together to ward off the ice cold. Snow is slowly falling from the dark sky and sticking to the ground. By the looks of it, tomorrow we’ll wake up to at least a few inches of snow that’ll need to be cleaned up. Not like anybody cares about shit like that in this neighborhood.

  Sighing, I curl my arms around myself. With my eyes zeroed in on the ground so I don’t slip and fall, I continue walking home.

  It’s late and I’m dead-ass tired, but I’m not sure what’ll await me when I get there.

  Maybe I should have gone to Lia’s.

  Then again, if I had, she would have found a reason to ask me to stay during the holidays, and I couldn’t do that. I managed to pressure Joe into giving me those extra shifts, and Lia would want to know where I’m disappearing to every day.

  It’s better this way anyway. I have to start pulling back. The first semester is almost over, which leaves me with one more. One more semester, five months, and that will be it. She’ll go to college and I… I’ll leave this godforsaken town and never look back.

  Sighing, I lift my gaze as I approach my building. It looks even more depressing now than it did earlier, and I can feel the lump in my throat growing until it’s impossible to breathe.

  It’s been happening more and more. The reality of my life crashing down on me, making me wonder…

  What if this is my life? What if I’m just deluding myself? What if there is no getting out, no matter how hard I try? How hard I work? Is this what my future will hold? Will I be just like my mother—always craving for things out of my reach but without hope of ever achieving them?

  Pushing the dark thoughts away, I inhale deeply, a shaky breath entering my lungs.

  You will succeed, Brook. You will get out. There is no other option.

  I stick to that as I enter the building and climb the stairs to our floor. My whole body is shaking with the cold because although I’m inside, it’s not much better than it is outside.

  Maybe if I’m lucky, there will be some hot water left that will help warm me up. My mind is still wrapped around the idea when I get to my front door only to find it left ajar.

  My brows furrow as I look at that small gap, my heartbeat kicking up a notch. Josephine is a lot of things, but carelessly leaving our front door open like this? I take a step closer, but jump back when I hear something smash on the floor.

  “I’m not doing this, Josephine!” a clearly male voice shouts from the inside. “I already gave you more than enough.”

  Tingles run through my body at the sound of that voice. I know it by now. It’s the guy from before. His voice is hard and serious. There is a roughness in it, a smoker maybe?

  I remember the night when Max walked me home—Andrew’s dad? Is that who’s inside?

  “I’m the one who says when enough is enough, John!”

  Her hysterical words are accompanied by another loud smash. I cringe, my hand covering my rapidly beating heart. Everything in me wants to run away before things escalate further, but it’s like I’m glued to the spot.

  “I gave you everything you asked for. Everything. And you didn’t even give me the proof to know that what you’re saying is true.” His voice rises with every single word, the accusation obvious in his tone. “For all I know, you could be lying just to get the money!”

  Moving closer, I push the door open just a little bit further so I can see them more clearly. They’re standing in the doorway of the living room. They’re close, smashed glass on the floor between them, as they stare at each other, anger and fury oozing from their bodies.

  “You want the proof?” Josephine asks, taking a step forward so she’s in his face. Her hair is wild, just like the look in her eyes. Even from here I can see she’s on something. Booze or drugs, probably both.

  I’m not sure what happens next. Maybe I move or make a sound, but those dark eyes with dilated pupils are on me, her lipstick-smeared mouth curling into a smug smile, loud, frantic laughter falling from her lips. My whole body stiffens under her watchful stare.

  “Just look at her.” She tilts her chin in my direction. The guy’s back is still turned toward me, and I can see his wide shoulders tense. “Just look at her eyes and you’ll get your answer.”

  As if in slow motion, he turns around. My mouth falls open as we stare at one another through the gap in the doorway. Just like before, he’s in an expensive, dark, three-piece suit that costs more than this whole building. But that is where the resemblance to the man I saw at the rink just weeks before ends. His dark hair is a bit longer and disheveled, like he ran his fingers through it one too many times. The wrinkles on his face are more prominent, revealing his age, and his jaw is covered in a five o’clock shadow. The bags underneath his eyes are dark, standing out on his otherwise fair skin. And then there are his eyes. His light, surrounded by thick, dark eyelashes, green eyes.

  “Do you need more proof than that?”

  I shake my head at Josephine's loud snicker. It can’t be true. This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.

  I want to look away, but my eyes have a will of their own. They’re glued to the guy’s face, just like his are glued to mine. Cold sweat covers my skin, and I can feel the fine hair at the nape of my neck rise.

  “You’re lying,” I whisper weakly, my head still shaking in disbelief.

  This isn’t true. All my life… She wouldn’t have done it. She wouldn’t have hidden it from me for so long knowing…

  “Brook…” That deep, raspy voice calls my name as he takes a step forward.

  Still refusing to believe any of this is happening, I step back, rejecting his touch or whatever the hell he was thinking about doing.

  This isn’t happening.

  “Whatever sick game you think you’re playing, Josephine, it ends now.” I lift my finger and point at her, the words come out through my gritted teeth.

  “This is no game, little girl.”

  “You’re lying, and I want no part in this.”

  “What? You’re not interested in playing house with your old man?” She laughs that crazed laughter of hers that’s making me sick to my stomach. I knew she was losing it, but this is going too far, even for her. “No worries. He doesn’t want you anyway.”

  Even though I don’t want to believe her, her words are like a slap to my face. Worse even, but I don’t let it show. With one final look at the man standing shell-shocked between the two of us, I turn my back to them. If I stay here even a second longer, I’m going to throw up. But no matter how fast I try to run away, it’s not fast enough.

  “Believe me now? If you want this to stay our dirty little secret, you will pay up…”

  I don’t wait around to hear more. Stumbling down the stairs, I return back outside. The snowstorm is even stronger than it was before. Icy wind is blowing the snow in all directions, making it hard to see, but the cold that’s settling outside is nothing compared to the cold surrounding my heart.

&nbs
p; She knew it. All these years she knew it, but she never wanted to tell me.

  He doesn’t want you anyway…

  He’s not the only one.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  MAX

  I turn to my back, rearranging the pillow underneath my head as I huff in irritation. Even without looking at my phone, I know it’s fucking late, but that doesn’t help me fall asleep any more than counting sheep would. My eyes ache with the need to shut them, but my brain has decided tonight’s the night to work overtime.

  My room is dark; I was hoping it would help ease me to sleep, but no such luck. Giving up, I tap for my phone, which I left on my nightstand, and unlock the screen. A bright light blinds me for a minute, but my eyes adjust enough to dull it.

  For a while, I scroll aimlessly through my social media. Everybody seems to be having a blast reuniting with their extended families for the holidays, and I can’t help but think back over my day.

  Grandma decided to come for a visit, and it was good seeing her, although it brought back the tension. She and my grandfather were never happy with Mom’s choice of husband, but there seemed to be something else underneath it all. Still, both Jeanette—especially Jeanette since she and Grandma were two peas in a pond—and I were glad to see her and spend some quality time together.

  Now everybody was long asleep, except me.

  Sighing, I’m about to turn off my phone when a photo on Instagram catches my attention. I stop to look at it. I heard they were spending Christmas together, but I didn’t give it much thought until now. Lia and Derek are sitting underneath the Christmas tree. She’s sitting in his lap, his hands around her waist. Both Beast—my name for Lia’s dog—and Ace—Derek’s rescue dog—at their feet. She’s smiling and looking genuinely happy.