The Complete Stories of Philip K. Dick Vol. 4:

by Philip K. Dick

  It was uncanny, Hood thought as he read the lead article. The varied news-gathering services of the homeopape had reached into his own life, had digested and then inserted into the lead article even the discussion between himself and Otto Dietrich. The newspaper was – had been – doing its job. Nothing of news-interest escaped it, even a discreet conversation carried on with no outsiders as witnesses. He would have to be careful.

  Sure enough, another item, ominous in tone, dealt with the arrival of the black jacks, the police.

  SECURITY AGENCY VOWS "WAR CRIMINALS" TARGET

  Captain Otto Dietrich, supreme police investigator arriving with the CURB armada from Proxima Centauri, said today that those responsible for the Misfortune of a decade ago "would have to pay for their crimes" before the bar of Centaurian justice. Two hundred black-uniformed police, it was learned by the Times, have already begun exploratory activities designed to -

  The newspaper was warning Earth about Dietrich, and Hood could not help feeling grim relish. The Times had not been set up to serve merely the occupying hierarchy. It served everyone, including those Dietrich intended to try. Each step of the police activity would no doubt be reported in full detail. Dietrich, who liked to work in anonymity, would not enjoy this. But the authority to maintain the newspaper belonged to Hood.

  And he did not intend to shut it off.

  One item on the first page of the paper attracted his further notice; he read it, frowning and a little uneasy.

  CEMOLI BACKERS RIOT IN UPSTATE NEW YORK

  Supporters of Benny Cemoli, gathered in the familiar tent cities associated with the colorful political figure, clashed with local citizens armed with hammers, shovels, and boards, both sides claiming victory in the two-hour melee which left twenty injured and a dozen hospitalized in hastily-erected first aid stations. Cemoli, garbed as always in his toga-style red robes, visited the injured, evidently in good spirits, joking and telling his supporters that "it won't be long now" an evident reference to the organization's boast that it would march on New York City in the near future to establish what Cemoli deems "social justice and true equality for the first time in world history." It should be recalled that prior to his imprisonment at San Quentin -

  Flipping a switch on his intercom system, Hood said, "Fletcher, check into activities up in the north of the county. Find out about some sort of a political mob gathering there."

  Fletcher's voice came back. "I have a copy of the Times, too, sir. I see the item about this Cemoli agitator. There's a ship on the way up there right now; should have a report within ten minutes." Fletcher paused. "Do you think – it'll be necessary to bring in any of Dietrich's people?"

  "Let's hope not," Hood said shortly.

  Half an hour later the CURB ship, through Fletcher, made its report.

  Puzzled, Hood asked that it be repeated. But there was no mistake. The CURB field team had investigated thoroughly. They had found no sign whatsoever of any tent city or any group gathering. And citizens in the area whom they had interrogated had never heard of anyone named "Cemoli." And there was no sign of any scuffle having taken place, no first aid stations, no injured persons. Only the peaceful, semi-rural countryside.

  Baffled, Hood read the item in the Times once more. There it was, in black and white, on the front page, along with the news about the landing of the CURB armada. What did it mean?

  He did not like it at all.

  Had it been a mistake to revive the great, old, damaged homeostatic newspaper?

  From a sound sleep that night Hood was awakened by a clanging from far beneath the ground, an urgent racket that grew louder and louder as he sat up in bed, blinking and confused. Machinery roared. He heard the heavy rumbling movement as automatic circuits fitted into place, responding to instructions emanating from within the closed system itself.

  "Sir," Fletcher was saying from the darkness. A light came on as Fletcher located the temporary overhead fixture. "I thought I should come in and wake you. Sorry, Mr. Hood."

  "I'm awake," Hood muttered, rising from the bed and putting on his robe and slippers. "What's it doing?"

  Fletcher said, "It's printing an extra."

  Sitting up, smoothing her tousled blonde hair back, Joan said, "Good Lord. What about?" Wide-eyed, she looked from her husband to Fletcher.

  "We'll have to bring in the local authorities," Hood said. "Confer with them." He had an intuition as to the nature of the extra roaring through the presses at this moment. "Get that LeConte, the politico who met us on our arrival. Wake him up and fly him here immediately. We need him."

  It took almost an hour to obtain the presence of the haughty, ceremonious local potentate and his staff member. The two of them in their elaborate uniforms at last put in an appearance at Hood's office, both of them indignant. They faced Hood silently, waiting to hear what he wanted.

  In his bathrobe and slippers Hood sat at his desk, a copy of the Times' extra before him; he was reading it once more as LeConte and his man entered.

  NEW YORK POLICE REPORT CEMOLI LEGIONS

  ON MOVE TOWARD CITY,

  BARRICADES ERECTED, NATIONAL GUARD ALERTED

  He turned the paper, showing the headlines to the two Earthmen. "Who is this man?" he said.

  After a moment LeConte said, "I – don't know."

  Hood said, "Come on, Mr. LeConte."

  "Let me read the article," LeConte said nervously. He scanned it in haste; his hands trembled as he held the newspaper. "Interesting," he said at last. "But I can't tell you a thing. It's news to me. You must understand that our communications have been sparse, since the Misfortune, and it's entirely possible that a political movement could spring up without our -"

  "Please," Hood said. "Don't make yourself absurd."

  Flushing, LeConte stammered, "I'm doing the best I can, summoned out of my bed in the middle of the night."

  There was a stir, and through the office doorway came the rapidly-moving figure of Otto Dietrich, looking grim. "Hood," he said without preamble, "there's a Times kiosk near my headquarters. It just posted this." He held up a copy of the extra. "The damn thing is running this off and distributing it throughout the world, isn't it? However, we have crack teams up in that area and they report absolutely nothing, no road blocks, no militia-style troops on the move, no activity of any sort."

  "I know," Hood said. He felt weary. And still, from beneath them, the deep rumble continued, the newspaper printing its extra, informing the world of the march by Benny Cemoli's supporters on New York City – a fantasy march, evidently, a product manufactured entirely within the cephalon of the newspaper itself. "Shut it off," Dietrich said. Hood shook his head.

  "No. I want to know more."

  "That's no reason," Dietrich said. "Obviously, it's defective. Very seriously damaged, not working properly. You'll have to search elsewhere for your world-wide propaganda network." He tossed the newspaper down on Hood's desk.

  To LeConte, Hood said, "Was Benny Cemoli active before the war?" There was silence. Both LeConte and his assistant Mr. Fall were pale and tense; they faced him tight-lipped, glancing at each other.

  "I am not much for police matters," Hood said to Dietrich, "but I think you could reasonably step in here."

  Dietrich, understanding, said, "I agree. You two men are under arrest. Unless you feel inclined to talk a little more freely about this agitator in the red toga." He nodded to two of his police, who stood by the office doorway; they stepped obediently forward.

  As the two policemen came up to him, LeConte said, "Come to think of it, there was such a person. But – he was very obscure."

  "Before the war?" Hood asked.

  "Yes." LeConte nodded slowly. "He was a joke. As I recall, and it's difficult… a fat, ignorant clown from some backwoods area. He had a little radio station or something over which he broadcast. He peddled some sort of anti-radiation box which you installed in your house, and it made you safe from bomb-test fallout."

  Now his staff member Mr.
Fall said, "I remember. He even ran for the UN senate. But he was defeated, naturally."

  "And that was the last of him?" Hood asked.

  "Oh yes," LeConte said. "He died of Asian flu soon after. He's been dead for fifteen years."

  In a helicopter, Hood flew slowly above the terrain depicted in the Times articles, seeing for himself that there was no sign of political activity. He did not feel really assured until he had seen with his own eyes that the newspaper had lost contact with actual events. The reality of the situation did not coincide with the Times' articles in any way; that was obvious. And yet – the homeostatic system continued on.

  Joan, seated beside him, said, "I have the third article here, if you want to read it." She had been looking the latest edition over.

  "No," Hood said.

  "It says they're in the outskirts of the city," she said. "They broke through the police barricades and the governor has appealed for UN assistance."

  Thoughtfully, Fletcher said, "Here's an idea. One of us, preferably you, Hood, should write a letter to the Times." Hood glanced at him.

  "I think I can tell you exactly how it should be worded," Fletcher said. "Make it a simple inquiry. You've followed the accounts in the paper about Cemoli's movement. Tell the editor -" Fletcher paused. "That you feel sympathetic and you'd like to join the movement. Ask the paper how."

  To himself, Hood thought, In other words ask the newspaper to put me in touch with Cemoli. He had to admire Fletcher's idea. It was brilliant, in a crazy sort of way. It was as if Fletcher had been able to match the derangement of the newspaper by a deliberate shift from common sense on his own part. He would participate in the newspaper's delusion. Assuming there was a Cemoli and a march on New York, he was asking a reasonable question.

  Joan said, "I don't want to sound stupid, but how does one go about mailing a letter to a homeopape?"

  "I've looked into that," Fletcher said. "At each kiosk set up by the paper there's a letter-slot, next to the coin-slot where you pay for your paper. It was the law when the homeopapes were set up originally, decades ago. All we need is your husband's signature." Reaching into his jacket, he brought out an envelope. "The letter's written."

  Hood took the letter, examined it. So we desire to be part of the mythical fat clown's throng, he said to himself. "Won't there be a headline reading CURB CHIEF JOINS MARCH ON EARTH CAPITAL?" he asked Fletcher, feeling a trace of wry amusement. "Wouldn't a good, enterprising homeopape make front page use of a letter such as this?"

  Obviously Fletcher had not thought of that; he looked chagrined. "I suppose we had better get someone else to sign it," he admitted. "Some minor person attached to your staff." He added, "I could sign it myself."

  Handing him the letter back, Hood said, "Do so. It'll be interesting to see what response, if any, there is." Letters to the editor, he thought. Letters to a vast, complex, electronic organism buried deep in the ground, responsible to no one, guided solely by its own ruling circuits. How would it react to this external ratification of its delusion? Would the newspaper be snapped back to reality?

  It was, he thought, as if the newspaper, during these years of this enforced silence, had been dreaming, and now, reawakened, it had allowed portions of its former dreams to materialize in its pages along with its accurate, perceptive accounts of the actual situation. A blend of figments and sheer, stark reporting. Which ultimately would triumph? Soon, evidently, the unfolding story of Benny Cemoli would have the toga-wearing spellbinder in New York; it appeared that the march would succeed. And what then? How could this be squared with the arrival of CURB, with all its enormous inter-system authority and power? Surely the homeopape, before long, would have to face the incongruity.

  One of the two accounts would have to cease… but Hood had an uneasy intuition that a homeopape which had dreamed for a decade would not readily give up its fantasies. Perhaps, he thought, the news of us, of CURB and its task of rebuilding Earth, will fade from the pages of the Times, will be given a steadily decreasing coverage each day, farther back in the paper. And at last only the exploits of Benny Cemoli will remain.

  It was not a pleasant anticipation. It disturbed him deeply. As if, he thought, we are only real so long as the Times writes about us; as if we were dependent for our existence on it.

  Twenty-four hours later, in its regular edition, the Times printed Fletcher's letter. In print it struck Hood as flimsy and contrived – surely the homeopape could not be taken in by it, and yet here it was. It had managed to pass each of the steps in the pape's processing.

  Dear Editor:

  Your coverage of the heroic march on the decadent plutocratic stronghold of New York City has fired my enthusiasm. How does an ordinary citizen become a part of this history in the making? Please inform me at once, as I am eager to join Cemoli and endure the rigors and triumphs with the others.

  Cordially,

  Rudolf Fletcher

  Beneath the letter, the homeopape had given an answer; Hood read it rapidly.

  Cemoli's stalwarts maintain a recruiting office in downtown New York; address, 460 Bleekman St., New York 32. You might apply there, if the police haven't cracked down on these quasi-legal activities, in view of the current crisis.

  Touching a button on his desk, Hood opened the direct line to police headquarters. When he had the chief investigator, he said, "Dietrich, I'd like a team of your men; we have a trip to make and there may be difficulties."

  After a pause Dietrich said dryly, "So it's not all noble reclamation after all. Well, we've already dispatched a man to keep an eye on the Bleekman Street address. I admire your letter scheme. It may have done the trick." He chuckled.

  Shortly, Hood and four black-uniformed Centaurian policemen flew by 'copter above the ruins of New York City, searching for the remains of what had once been Bleekman Street. By the use of a map they managed after half an hour to locate themselves.

  "There," the police captain in charge of the team said, pointing. "That would be it, that building used as a grocery store." The 'copter began to lower. It was a grocery store, all right. Hood saw no signs of political activity, no persons loitering, no flags or banners. And yet – something ominous seemed to lie behind the commonplace scene below, the bins of vegetables parked out on the sidewalk, the shabby women in long cloth coats who stood picking over the winter potatoes, the elderly proprietor with his white cloth apron sweeping with his broom. It was too natural, too easy. It was too ordinary. "Shall we land?" the police captain asked him.

  "Yes," Hood said. "And be ready."

  The proprietor, seeing them land in the street before his grocery store, laid his broom carefully to one side and walked toward them. He was, Hood saw, a Greek. He had a heavy mustache and slightly wavy gray hair, and he gazed at them with innate caution, knowing at once that they did not intend him any good. Yet he had decided to greet them with civility; he was not afraid of them.

  "Gentlemen," the Greek grocery store owner said, bowing slightly. "What can I do for you?" His eyes roved speculatively over the black Centaurian police uniforms, but he showed no expression, no reaction.

  Hood said, "We've come to arrest a political agitator. You have nothing to be alarmed about." He started toward the grocery store; the team of police followed, their side arms drawn.

  "Political agitation here?" the Greek said. "Come on. It is impossible."

  He hurried after them, panting, alarmed now. "What have I done? Nothing at all; you can look around. Go ahead." He held open the door of the store, ushering them inside. "See right away for yourself."

  "That's what we intend to do," Hood said. He moved with agility, wasting no time on conspicuous portions of the store; he strode directly on through.

  The back room lay ahead, the warehouse with its cartons of cans, cardboard boxes stacked up on every side. A young boy was busy making a stock inventory; he glanced up, startled, as they entered. Nothing here, Hood thought. The owner's son at work, that's all. Lifting the lid of a carton Hoo
d peered inside. Cans of peaches. And beside that a crate of lettuce. He tore off a leaf, feeling futile and – disappointed.

  The police captain said to him in a low voice, "Nothing, sir."

  "I see that," Hood said, irritably.

  A door to the right led to a closet. Opening it, he saw brooms and a mop, a galvanized pail, boxes of detergents. And – There were drops of paint on the floor.

  The closet, some time recently, had been repainted. When he bent down and scratched with his nail he found the paint still tacky. "Look at this," he said, beckoning the police captain over. The Greek, nervously, said, "What's the matter, gentlemen? You find something dirty and report to the board of health, is that it? Customers have complained – tell me the truth, please. Yes, it is fresh paint. We keep everything spick and span. Isn't that in the public interest?"

  Running his hands across the wall of the broom closet, the police captain said quietly, "Mr. Hood, there was a doorway here. Sealed up now, very recently." He looked expectantly toward Hood, awaiting instructions. Hood said, "Let's go in."

  Turning to his subordinates, the police captain gave a series of orders. From the ship, equipment was dragged, through the store, to the closet; a controlled whine arose as the police began the task of cutting into the wood and plaster.

  Pale, the Greek said, "This is outrageous. I will sue."

  "Right," Hood agreed. "Take us to court." Already a portion of the wall had given way. It fell inward with a crash, and bits of rubble spilled down onto the floor. A white cloud of dust rose, then settled.

  It was not a large room which Hood saw in the glare of the police flashlights. Dusty, without windows, smelling stale and ancient… the room had not been inhabited for a long, long time, he realized, and he warily entered. It was empty. Just an abandoned storeroom of some kind, its wooden walls scaling and dingy. Perhaps before the Misfortune the grocery store had possessed a larger inventory. More stocks had been available then, but now this room was not needed. Hood moved about, flashing his beam of light up to the ceiling and then down to the floor. Dead flies, entombed here… and, he saw, a few live ones which crept haltingly in the dust.