Forever This Summer

by Leslie C. Youngblood

  “Markie, I’m so sorry,” Mama said. Then she bit down on her lips. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  I stared at Markie. She hadn’t moved. She didn’t even ask Mama what she was sorry for.

  Now, Mama’s tears were streaming.

  “I could have done better. All these years I’ve known that I could have done better.”

  “Mama, please, what are you saying? What happened?” Nikki was next to me now. She had her arm around my shoulder. Grandma Sugar was next to Markie.

  “I’d lost touch with Irene. It’d been years since high school. Many years. Not a call. A letter. Nothing. But out of the blue she called me. She’d gotten my number from Aunt Vie. She was crying. I could barely understand her. When she calmed down, she told me that I was the only one she could trust. That she knew I wouldn’t let her down.”

  My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was shaking the floor.

  “What does that mean?” The gentleness in Markie’s voice was gone now. Her words were rugged. The sound of them alone broke me in pieces. “She wanted you to take care of me but you didn’t want me either?”

  “It wasn’t like that, Markie. Georgie was a toddler. I was going to night school. And George was a struggling car salesman. She asked me if I could take you.… I tried to understand what was happening with her. Was she sick? Was she in trouble? She wouldn’t give me any answers.”

  Grandma Sugar walked over to give Mama some tissues and she rubbed her back. From Grandma Sugar’s look, she seemed to be hearing this for the first time, too.

  “What happened!” Markie insisted.

  “All she wanted to do was arrange to meet me so that I could take you. I told her that I’d call her back. I couldn’t decide like that in an instant. I just needed to think things through. And give her a chance to calm down, think rationally… I didn’t call her back that night. I thought for sure when I called back the next day, she’d answer and we’d talk about it. I’d do what I could to help. The phone just went to voicemail.”

  Now Mom’s crying filled the house. “I don’t know how I rationalized it, but I told myself that maybe someone else helped her. Maybe a family member. But when I didn’t hear from her again, I started to think the worst. I knew Aunt Vie would look into it for me. But by the time Aunt Vie got involved, Irene had left you with a neighbor and Child & Family Services had taken you. When Aunt Vie finally was able to get you in foster care, I prayed everything would work out.”

  “Why, Ms. Katrina? Why wouldn’t you say something? Do you know where she is now?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t known for quite some time… years.”

  Markie fired her words at me. “I told you. See, your mama could have helped me.…” Then she turned to Mama. “Why didn’t you help her? Wasn’t she once your ‘best’ friend? I wouldn’t have been any trouble. I was just a little kid. You probably knew about my arm, right. That’s why you didn’t want to be bothered with me. Didn’t want me messing up your perfect family.”

  Mama slid the back of her hand across her eyes and stepped closer to Markie.

  “Nothing like that, Markie,” Mama said and walked toward her.

  “Don’t. Don’t,” Markie said and backed away. “If I was made perfect, I wouldn’t have been too much trouble then, would I? All of y’all are just the same. You only come around when it’s easy. Where were you when Aunt Vie needed you? Now you come and treat me like I’m the troublemaker. Like I’m some bad influence to keep away from your precious G-baby.”

  As Markie talked, she backed toward the kitchen entrance, never taking Mama out of her sight. Then she bolted. Streaked through the living room. The screen door banged against the house so hard I thought it could crumble.

  Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go after Markie. It was like everything was frozen. Grandma Sugar was comforting Mama. Then I felt Nikki’s arm intertwine with mine and we walked out to the porch and sat on the stairs.

  Grandma Sugar came out to the porch several minutes later. “You okay, Georgie?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said. “How is Mama?

  “She has a lot of hurt she’s been carrying around. Knocks you off your feet when it tries to come out all at once.”

  I stood up. “Mama needs to talk to Markie, Grandma. Don’t you think?”

  “I do, baby,” Grandma Sugar said. She came over and kissed my cheek. “You know that’s my daughter in there. So I’m telling you this from a mama’s point of view, that Katrina hurts that she let Markie down and put an extra burden on Aunt Vie. Along with all of that, though, she thinks that she’s let you down, too.”

  I was quiet. A part of me felt that she had.

  “Give it time, Georgie. No one is asking you to come to terms with this all at once.”

  “I need to find Markie. I hate to think of her somewhere alone.” Then I looked at Nikki.

  “If you didn’t ask to go find her, I was about to.”

  To have a friend, you have to be a friend. I thought it but I didn’t say it. That would have made the moment way too emotional and boy, we’d had a load of that.

  “Slow down, girls,” the vegetable lady called. She added an umbrella to her chair since I’d seen her earlier. “You two don’t have to get anywhere that’s worth you having a heatstroke.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” we said but only slowed until we rounded the corner.

  We kept up our racewalking speed until we reached the library. I bent over and grabbed my knees, trying to catch my breath so I wouldn’t enter into the library like a panting wolf.

  “You okay?” Nikki said.

  “I’m good. You’re handling the heat better than I am.”

  As soon as we walked into the library, the librarian said, “Back so soon.” Her smile worthy of a blue ribbon. I forced a smile but not a word. I quick-stepped to Markie’s table.

  Please be here, Markie, please. But the table was empty. All the books cleared like the hour before never happened. I just stood next to it. Then I went to retrieve the yearbook again, so that I could show Nikki. I found the picture and we both just stared at it for a while. Mama and Irene looked like they were inseparable, the way their arms linked and their smiles were almost one.

  Mama’s hair was in a huge, neat Afro and Irene’s was in what I’d heard called a “mushroom.” I couldn’t help thinking of all the secrets they shared.

  “Nikki, you don’t think this will happen to us, do you?”

  She just shook her head so quickly, I knew that it had to be on her mind, too. Neither one of us really wanted to talk about it. We’ve seen best friends not survive changing homerooms and lunch tables, and she was moving more than two thousand miles away.

  Before we left the library, I stopped and asked the librarian, “Have you seen the girl that I’ve come in here with?”

  “Oh, Markie. Not since you were in here earlier. If she’s not at the diner, she’s usually here. I’d just check back.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Oh, wait a second. One of you left these,” she said and handed me our fliers.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Markie already posted it on our bulletin board. And I have a short note on our website. I’ve kept a few here at the desk. She inquired about us attending with our bookmobile last week.”

  “She did?” Nikki said before I could.

  “When I saw this date on the flier, I checked and either I or another librarian should be able to be there and loan books to kids.”

  “Sweet!” Nikki said with enthusiasm I couldn’t muster.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “No problem. We’re always looking for ways to connect with the community and Markie speaks so highly of you and your great-aunt. You’re Georgie, right?” When two kids walked up with stacks of books, she excused herself.

  “Didn’t picture Markie as a bookworm,” Nikki said.

  “Yeah, neither did I, at first. I was hoping she’d come rushing in while we were talking.�
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  “That would have been too easy, I guess,” Nikki said. “Now what?”

  I hesitated before I told her where we needed to go next.

  26

  SPIRIT FARMS

  “Try calling her again,” Nikki said as we were on our way to the diner. I dialed Markie’s number and it went to voicemail.

  We stood on the side of the diner and looked in the front window. No Markie.

  “She might be back in the kitchen,” I said. I had to go inside.

  As soon as we did, Aunt Essie walked up and hugged me and said, “So sorry for all this, Georgie.”

  “You didn’t know?” I asked.

  Aunt Essie shook her head. “No, ma’am, I didn’t.”

  I looked around and one of Aunt Vie’s friends I’d met before was helping out.

  “Is Markie here?” I asked.

  “Nope, she didn’t work today. If you two don’t find her shortly, go on home. She probably just wants some time to herself. We’ll get a fresh start at it tomorrow.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I answered and Nikki and I left.

  “The show is only two days away. We need to find her now.”

  “So where do you think we should check next?” Nikki asked. “You think she’s at the park?” I raised my eyebrows. “The outskirts? You think she’s out to Ms. Hannah’s.”

  “Besides the library and diner, that’s the only other place that makes sense.”

  “You think it’s worth it?”

  “I do,” I said.

  “Yeah, me too,” and took out her phone. “How many miles did you say?”

  “About three.”

  “Okay, if we walk at a steady pace in this heat, not too fast, we should be able to do three miles in about forty minutes. You know the address?” I shook my head.

  “I remember how to get there,” I said with a little more confidence than I should have.

  The first moment I realized we were lost was when I didn’t see Nettie’s. Once I thought to ask Nikki to google it, her signal was too weak.

  “Does any of this look familiar, Georgie?” Nikki asked.

  But that was the problem: it all was familiar. Nothing but road, trees, and telephone poles.

  “There should be a store coming up soon. Remember, the one Markie and I stopped at?” I said.

  “With the parrot,” Nikki said.

  I slowed my pace a little because, if we were lost, I didn’t want us to get too tired. “Yep, that’s the one,” I said. I wanted to give it a little more time before I confessed that maybe we should have seen that store by now.

  Nikki craned her head around. “I can’t believe anyone would walk out here at night. It would be scary even to drive.”

  I couldn’t help remembering some of the bad stuff I’d learned about the town and got a little jittery. What if someone yelled a bad name out the window?

  A car zoomed by us. I swallowed so hard it felt like I gave myself the hiccups. And with Nikki with me, if we were lost my guilt was times ten. Just at the height of thinking about the unsavory side of Bogalusa, a car was creeping up behind me slow and it was closer to the side of the road, along the shoulder.

  “A car… a car is behind us,” Nikki said.

  Seconds later we heard, “Grandniece? Is that you?”

  I recognized the voice—Peanut Man.

  I breathed out and relaxed for the first time since I’d started thinking those scary thoughts. “What are you two doing out this way? And you’re not even heading toward town. Where’s Markie Jean?” he said as he put the car in park and searched off to the sides like she’d emerge from the bushes. Guess he hadn’t ever seen me without her.

  “I’m on my way to Ms. Hannah’s to meet Markie.” I knew he had a hotline to the diner, so I sounded confident. I could say that Grandma Sugar and Aunt Essie both knew we were looking for Markie, but they didn’t mean this far and I knew it. “This is my best friend, Nikki, she’s visiting from Atlanta.”

  “How you do,” he said and nodded to Nikki, tugging at the edge of his cap.

  “Well, you missed the fork back there that would have led you to it. Unless you planning on cutting across Mae’s watermelon farm, you can’t rightfully get to it this way,” he said.

  “How far is it if I go back?” I dug my nails into my palm and bit my lip.

  “Good ten to fifteen minutes or more.” He reached over and opened the door. “If you two are destined to get there before it gets late, hop in. I’ve done some work up there. Take you right up to the door.”

  I’d told Nikki how Peanut Man took me to Aunt Vie’s to make sure Markie and I stayed off the property. As soon as we were in Peanut Man’s truck, he pulled off and the taste of dust was on my tongue. The pleather seats were so hot, I rocked like I was on a seesaw. I looked up at the sky that was still bright. I said a quick prayer that we’d find Markie before a layer of evening settled on us.

  This morning I’d woken up making fliers for the talent show and now I was clopping along the road with Peanut Man and Nikki. And what I thought I knew about my own mama was twisted around, and that hurt most of all. Then I thought about Markie. If Mama not being honest with me hurt this much, I just couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I thought she didn’t want me.

  I closed my eyes and prayed that Markie was at Ms. Hannah’s. It was like I could feel Aunt Vie’s presence helping us find Markie.

  As we traveled Peanut Man schooled us on the nutritional value of all things peanut.

  “Now everybody can’t be around the peanut. I understand that. It’s one of eight common food allergens, you know. I’ve seen a man’s tongue swell up to near ’bout the size of a catfish just from one peanut. Neither of you are, right?”

  “No, sir,” we said, seconds apart.

  “I have a cousin who is allergic, though,” Nikki added.

  Peanut Man took a swig of water. “I picked up a man and his son one day. And we didn’t know that just the peanut dust would trigger the boy.” Peanut Man flipped down his visor. “Lawd, I tell you if I didn’t have one of these EpiPen on me I don’t think that child would have made it.”

  “There it is,” I said aloud when I spotted Nettie’s store.

  “Oh, Nettie. She opens the store a little more these days. But she still spends most of her time in New Orleans at the Audubon Zoo. She’s a real zoologist and she does some kinda bird rescue, too.”

  He went up about another five minutes and we were at the entrance to Spirit Farms. “Here is good,” I said.

  “Well, not in my book. Ms. Hannah don’t like much traffic on her property cause of the horses, but I’d feel a little better about this whole situation if I took you up to the front door.” As we approached, the way the ground crackled underneath his tires was eerie.

  “Seems larger than when I was here the first time,” I said, hoping that Markie didn’t decide to hide out somewhere on the property.

  “There was a time when you could lose more than time coming up on Guidry Farms without a proper invite.”

  I hated to correct him, but it didn’t seem like he’d mind. I said it as softly as I could. “Excuse me, Peanut Man, but isn’t it called Spirit Farms?”

  He chuckled. “That’s telling my age. And you’re right. Guidry Farms was before Ms. Hannah and her mother, God rest her soul, took it over years ago. We call a few of them the “Good Guidrys.” Some folks in Bogalusa believe there is no such a thing. We believe Black people have met their end on this farm. No proof, though. Ms. Hannah changed it to Spirit Farms to honor that.”

  I tensed up a little, but I knew this was a chance to learn more about Ms. Hannah. “Oh, that’s why Aunt Essie and my grandma don’t favor them much.”

  “Some can put water under the bridge, but sometimes it hits too close to home,” he said. Close to home. I knew that I’d gotten about as much out of Peanut Man as I could, which was more than I knew before. But even if I wanted more information, my thoughts had shifted to Ms. Hannah’s porch.

>   Nikki’s fist hit my leg. “You see what I see?”

  “Sure do,” I said.

  There, like a mirage, was Ms. Hannah standing next to Bessie, whose rein was tied at the post. Ms. Hannah’s hair was braided the time I’d seen her before, but now it was loose and wavy. And sitting on the porch steps, watching us drive up, was Markie.

  Ms. Hannah turned and waved at us as we pulled up. Markie stood and leaned against the bannister.

  We thanked Peanut Man again and got out. “Y’all sure there’s no problem with getting back home, right?”

  “I got them covered,” Ms. Hannah said.

  Peanut Man tipped his hat and drove off.

  I didn’t even know what to say to Markie. Did I apologize for Mama? Since Nikki and I had been looking for her, I forgot to think about what to say or do if we found her.

  “We’re glad you’re okay, Markie,” Nikki said.

  She just hunched her shoulders, not looking at either of us.

  “You must be Nikki,” Ms. Hannah said.

  “Yes, ma’am. That’s a beautiful horse.”

  I was thankful for every word out of Nikki’s mouth. It was like she was speaking for me while I gathered my thoughts.

  “You knew about my mama and Markie’s mama. Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked. My voice was light as I tried to get the words out.

  She glanced up. “It’s getting late. Why don’t we all go inside for a bit?” We all nodded.

  She led us into the house. I took a deep breath and looked around for the source of the scent that calmed me.

  “That’s sage you’re smelling. Wards off any negativity that tries to settle in on old Ms. Hannah. I’m not having none of it, you hear me?” She shouted that up to the ceiling. “Can I get you three something to drink?”

  Nikki and I said, “Water,” and Markie said, “No, thank you.”

  “Have a seat, please,” Ms. Hannah said.

  Considering the rickety porch, I didn’t expect to see a comfy sectional and a big screen TV inside. Light shone in from several huge, back windows revealing miles of land.