Snow Whyte and the Queen of Mayhem

by Melissa Lemon

  “I want to marry you.”

  That seemed to get the princess’s attention more than anything else he’d said so far. “When?” she inquired, a look of disbelief spreading across her face.

  “I told you I have some things to take care of first. Kat, I want you to take this money—it is enough to live on for at least a year.”

  “But you won’t be gone that long, will you?” For the first time the confusion in her eyes dissipated, replaced entirely by fear. Wide-eyed, she waited breathlessly for reassurance.

  “I hope not.” He closed the remaining distance between them and rested his forehead on hers. “I don’t know how long I can stand being away from you. But the things I have to take care of are absolutely necessary if we are to be together.” And he meant it, judging by the sincerity in his voice, the honesty in his brow, the longing in his eyes.

  This calmed Katiyana slightly, but she continued to voice her doubts. “I still don’t know if I can leave him. Where am I to go?”

  Jeremy was the only other person she had ever known, aside from Barney. Would she really be able to leave her uncle? How could she survive on her own? Without a roof over her head? Without food to eat? Without Jeremy? But she had the money, and apparently, an offer of marriage. I liked Jeremy well enough, but marry the princess? Then again, I reasoned, perhaps it really would be better for her to live a common life. After all, what were the alternatives? Be discovered by the queen and face an early death? All things considered, I made an effort to swallow my initial disapproval.

  “You don’t have to decide now. When I am ready, I will find you, no matter how long I have to look.” Jeremy pulled back, peering deep into Katiyana’s eyes and caressing her face with his fingertips. The rain had finally stopped, though the clouds continued to thicken and blacken. “When you leave, if you leave, there is a man named Juno at the market. He works at the platform on the north end where they sell unclaimed property and things like that. He is a friend of mine. Tell him that you know me and he will help you find lodging. He can be trusted.”

  “But . . .”

  “Use the money with care. Don’t let anyone know you have it.”

  “But . . .”

  “I’m sorry that I don’t have more to give you. And I’m sorry that I have to leave you now.” He leaned forward, glancing at her lips, his hand still gently stroking her face. “Kat Whyte,” he spoke softly.

  “But . . .”

  Jeremy covered her lips with his, giving one last manifestation of his previous confessions. Katiyana didn’t even have the chance to respond to his kiss. “Good-bye,” he whispered, before turning away from her and bolting into a run. The determination on his face masked any regret, and his sodden feet sent off splashes of muddy water with every pounding step.

  “Wait!” she called, running after him through the foggy dim. “Wait!” She followed him all the way to the house, but his figure melted in the distance. Out of breath, Katiyana stumbled to her knees, eyes straining to see the last glimpse of her friend until he vanished altogether.

  Katiyana knelt there long after he’d gone, drenched, her face a mixture of sadness and confusion. The goats cried in the background, their noisy demands for feed finally pulling the princess out of her stupor. Slowly, she rose to her feet, slogging into the dark barn to feed the animals. Inside, Katiyana stowed the box Jeremy had given her beneath some hay. She stayed in the barn for hours, fiddling with straw and smudging her face with dirt as she wiped away tears.

  I couldn’t explain Jeremy’s mysteriousness, and his secrecy made me nervous, pulling his character under scrutiny. Most of the time, I used the powers of the mirror to focus solely on the princess of Mayhem. I knew then that I should have kept a closer eye on the boy she spent every passing day with. I had followed him home once, but a single night of peeking in on the Simkins’ was more than enough for me—thirteen children! What a mess of people and things and noise! What could Jeremy possibly have to take care of unless it involved his horrible, rambunctious family? Was it enough to justify encouraging the princess to go off on her own? I vowed to watch him with greater interest, despite the unpleasantness of his home.

  Katiyana eventually went into the house. She lit a candle in the kitchen, illuminating her unusually pale, clammy skin and black hair—the wet, clumpy strands stuck to her head, face, shoulders, and upper back. Barney still snoozed. She watched him, perhaps waiting to see if he’d wake. I longed to know her thoughts, the feelings of her heart, but her emotions hid behind a face of stone.

  Katiyana stepped up the rickety staircase and prepared for bed—slipping into her white, ruffled nightgown and hanging her dress and shawl on separate hooks near the window. She crept back down the stairs and took a seat in front of the ever dwindling, smoky fire. While in an uninterrupted daydream, she alternately brushed her hair and rubbed it between her hands until dry. Whether or not she reached a decision that night, I cannot say. After dousing the fire, she climbed the stairs, crawled under her bed covers, and gave into exhaustion.

  ^-]

  In the morning, Barney commanded her to make him breakfast. She refused. When he threatened to hurt her, she stood firm. When he tried to swing, she ducked. Around the room they went, Katiyana hiding, and Barney stumbling after her. Finally he grabbed hold of her arm and hit the side of her face, sending her to the floor. She scurried away from him and, struggling to hold back tears, Katiyana moved toward the door. “Good-bye, Uncle,” she murmured just before walking out.

  He went after her, stumbling toward the door, but did not brave the porch steps. “Kat!” he called. “Come back here!”

  Katiyana went to the barn and fed the animals one last time. Such a thoughtful girl! She retrieved Jeremy’s gift of money and packed a sack of apples before starting out, trekking across the orchard and out onto the road that led to Mischief. I knew it hurt her to walk away, because even when Barney’s house couldn’t be seen anymore, she continued to look back.

  To Market

  I watched earnestly as Princess Katiyana made her way down the road to Mischief. What would become of her? Maybe she hadn’t been taught as much as she should have been, but she knew how to reason, and was willing to learn. I predicted she would do well on her own, have a few adventures and invaluable experiences. But at the same time, I worried for her. Greatly.

  The brightness that morning deceived me; I longed to be in the sunshine. But Katiyana pulled her shawl close and tight, and in no time began to shiver.

  The road to Mischief ran straight, other than a few gentle curves, and no other roads connected to it between Barney’s orchard and the market, so the princess found her way with ease. She made the long walk in good time, arriving before sunset, having munched on the apples she’d brought. The market came into her view, and knowing her history, it’s no surprise she slowed her pace, savoring each sight, sound, and smell. With wide eyes, she watched men and boys walk about on tall sticks for the entertainment of shoppers; women carried babes and baskets and bushels of barley; a young girl held out a container of grapes, hoping to make a sale; children ran about in boisterous laughter, chasing and stopping and catching. Eventually, her expressions of wonder turned to a joyful but timid smile.

  Watching the princess take in the wonders of Mischief Market for the first time proved to be superior entertainment. Her bright eyes flitted from one spectacle to another as she weaved through passes lined with large, canvas tents and worn, wooden stands on wheels. It tortured me to see her smelling sage and autumn lilies and tasting cinnamon roasted almonds; how I hated that the powers of the mirror limited me to sight and sound alone.

  The final pass forced the princess to turn right, and nothing captured her attention like the male dwarf standing on a platform in the distance. She approached with delicate, cautious steps, a look of curiosity radiating from her eyes.

  “Who will have him?” a voice yelled.
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  The princess studied the man who had spoken, a beast of a fellow with a beard and a belly and unkempt clothing. He strode across the platform, gesturing with a coiled whip at the diminutive figure stooped in the center. As Katiyana looked on in dismay, he yanked back the small man’s head with a sharp tug at his black hair.

  “Who will have him?” the beastly man repeated.

  The crowd gathered in front of the platform shifted and murmured until a single hand rose above their heads. “Aye! I’ll take him . . . if you give me a gold coin.”

  The group roared in laughter.

  “Nay, but I’ll only ask a pair of silver coins.”

  Tearing her eyes away, Katiyana tapped the shoulder of a man near the back of the group. “Excuse me, sir. Is this the north platform?”

  He turned and gave her a considering look. “Why, yes,” he answered kindly. A sudden whip crack startled them both, drawing their eyes back to the platform and the short figure cowering under the lash. Katiyana and the man next to her both winced, as did many, but others cheered, shouting and raising celebratory fists in the air. The man inflicting pain shoved the small man—who scooted a few steps but otherwise remained steady—and spat on the top of his head.

  As if she couldn’t stand watching further, Katiyana abruptly asked another question. “Excuse me,” Katiyana said again. “Do you know where I can find a man named Juno?”

  “That’s him up there,” he answered, pointing to the whipping man.

  This caused me to wonder again at Jeremy’s character—sending the princess to get help from a man even more abusive that the one she just left.

  Katiyana slipped a hand inside her bag of apples, where Jeremy’s box of money also rested. She had never even opened the pouch. Were the coins she possessed gold or silver? Her hand moved through the pile of apples until it brushed across the box. She struggled to get the lid off with one hand. Finally, she loosened the tie around the pouch and pulled a few coins up and out of the bag. Silver.

  The large, bearded man began making a joke of the miniature man. “He cooks,” he said as he placed a bonnet on his head. “He cleans.” Now an apron was placed around his neck, and after that a broom shoved in his hand. “He even knows how to tend to the little ones.” Juno reached down and pulled a baby from his mother’s arms and handed it to the little man, who looked severely displeased. I can’t say I blamed him.

  A few members of the crowd doubled over in laughter, heaving and wheezing. “What will you give for such a worthy slave? I ask only two silver coins.” He held up two large, chubby fingers to the crowd. The baby began to cry and was handed back down to his mother.

  I admit, I was so enthralled with the scene that it surprised me when Katiyana spoke up. “I will take him.” Her voice faltered amid the shouting and hilarity of the crowd. With gritted, dirty teeth, Juno threw his whip into the back of the little man, causing him to fall to his child-sized knees.

  “I will take him!” Katiyana yelled. A few of the people quieted and looked around, trying to see where the voice had come from. She jerked an apple from her bag and launched it toward the platform. It flew through the air until it hit the front edge of the stage and split, sending apple shards in all directions.

  “I will take him!”

  Her final shout was followed by an eerie silence. Her feet remained firmly grounded as she stood tall, focusing all her attention on the men atop the platform rather than the dozens of eyes staring at her.

  “Well, come and get him, then.” Juno motioned her forward.

  Katiyana moved steadily through the crowd, stopping just in front of the little man on the platform. Juno bent down toward her to finalize the deal. Without looking at him, the princess dropped the coins into his outstretched, oversized hands.

  “Stupid girl,” he muttered after inspecting her payment. “I only asked for two silver coins and she’s given me two whole doces.” He laughed as he grabbed the small man by the shirt and thrust him off the platform.

  “Juno, is it?” Kat asked forcefully as the large, cruel man shuffled away.

  He turned toward her once more. “Who cares to know?” he shot back.

  Katiyana’s eyes narrowed. She lifted her chin and turned away, giving no more attention to Jeremy’s supposed friend.

  Noticing her newly acquired charge, she helped the little man to his feet and dusted him off, her efforts frustrated by his frantic attempts to rip off the bonnet and apron. His head, covered in bushy, dark hair, stood just a few short inches above her navel, and I wondered if his black eyes ever looked anything but annoyed. His ears, nose, and mouth all looked too big for his face, but his eyes fit just right.

  “Now what?” the princess asked her new slave.

  “You tell me! You’re the one who bought me. What, you want me to think of work to do for you?” The man threw his stubby arms up in exasperation. “I never heard of a slave who had to think for his master.”

  “I don’t have any work for you to do.” Katiyana smiled down at him. “Oh,” she reconsidered. “You can carry my pack if you’d like.”

  “No, I wouldn’t like,” he said.

  “Oh.”

  His tone displeased me. Katiyana had only acted out of pity, attempting to free him from humiliation. Now it appeared the little man wanted to humiliate her.

  “Well, where do you live? It’s late.”

  He was right; the sun was setting. But what could she tell him now?

  “I don’t live anywhere.” Such an honest girl!

  “You mean you don’t have any place to live? Why are you taking on a slave if you don’t have any place to live?”

  “I never meant to take on a slave, I just . . .”

  “Never mind,” he huffed. “Follow me.”

  The crowd dispersed rapidly once the auction was over, the last few stragglers making their final selections for the day as the shop owners began to close down. The sun disappeared behind the tall, surrounding trees of the forest, casting long, leafy shadows at the princess’s feet. Katiyana paused to watch, enjoying each moment of her newfound freedom.

  The tiny man had gone off during her reverie, and despite his short stature he moved quite fast. Katiyana had to run to catch up to him as he headed away from the market and out of town. She followed him, I imagine, because she didn’t know what else to do.

  All the noise of the market dimmed to nothing as they walked into Fluttering Forest. Katiyana struggled to keep up, peering all around her as if she expected something to jump out and eat her. The waking hoot of an owl sounded above, forcing her eyes upward to see. She slowed and turned about, looking in all directions until the sound of little legs bustling through fallen autumn leaves grew too distant. Katiyana hurried to catch up, and once she did, the glow of a small house came into view.

  The little man turned around. “Maybe you don’t have a place to live. But I do.” He motioned his thumb toward his chest.

  “Where should I stay then?”

  The little man debated. I hoped he would do something to help the princess. She had bought him after all, and by law had claim over him. But perhaps by now he could tell that she didn’t realize it. Was he considering escape? And if so, why had he led her to his home?

  A muffled voice sounded from inside the house. “I’m going out for a pee.”

  “Keeping a lady around would not be such a good idea,” the small man muttered. “Hide,” he whispered loudly.

  “Why should we hide?”

  But he had already clasped his pudgy fingers around her arm and begun pulling her behind a tree. “Close your eyes,” he said as they ducked. He peeked around to see the back of his fellow dwarf. Katiyana obeyed. “And your ears.”

  “What’s going on?” she asked. “I can’t close my ears anyway.”

  The little man mumbled something to himself, waiting as his acquainta
nce unbuttoned his trousers around the corner of the house.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Katiyana repeated.

  The other little man heard the chatter and quickly finished his business. He turned and looked about with suspicious eyes. “Who’s there?” he called.

  Neither Katiyana nor her little slave responded as the other man closed the short distance between them.

  “What are we hiding for?”

  Agitated, the dwarf answered. “Because I haven’t decided what to do with you yet!”

  “Kurz, is that you?”

  Katiyana peeked out from behind the tree. She stared in amazement upon discovering there was not just one little man, but two.

  “Stay here,” her bondsman insisted. Then he took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the tree.

  The eyes of the other little man widened. “It is you! Kurz, you’ve escaped, you devil.” Then he began calling to the others still in the house. What peculiar names they had—Corto and Jab (or something like that) and a few more. “Kurz is back! Come and see.”

  One by one they paraded out. Seven in all, including Kurz. And what a sight, congratulating and hugging with the shortest arms I’d ever seen in or out of the mirror.

  Kurz told his story of being captured, humiliated, and sold to the most peculiar master.

  “You haven’t brought him here, have you? He’ll enslave us all!” one of them shouted in fear.

  “It’s not a him,” Kurz corrected. “And I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want any of us for a slave.” He looked back to the tree where Katiyana hid from the others. “You can come out now.”

  “He has brought his master!” Oh, the commotion that followed, six little men trying at the same time to get back into the tiny door of the cozy-looking house. Katiyana stepped out from behind the tree and watched the frenzy in bewilderment. After the last dwarf had made it through the door, it closed and locked with a loud click.