Fast Lane

by Ashley, Kristen

  Until the end.

  That was the first album we were all in and there wasn’t one after that where that same thing didn’t happen.

  We found our footing recording as a band with that album and the footing we found would never be shaken.

  It could get iffy, because Preacher could be a steamroller, and Danny had a tendency to wanna go hard, what with him bein’ metal and all.

  [Smiles]

  Not to mention, six pairs of hands in one pie can get messy.

  But even when we weren’t getting along, or downright fighting, we kicked the shit out of our albums.

  I stand behind every second of every one of them.

  To this day.

  [Off tape]

  Are you saying the band was a democracy?

  [Shakes head]

  No. Danny was the man, Preacher was the vision. We all understood that.

  They weren’t all Preacher’s songs, but most of them were. It was Preach who knew the feel of the album he wanted, Danny and him hashed that out to something they both agreed on, and Danny led the way.

  What I’m saying is, we were all there. We were all involved. We didn’t play our part and go home. We got a say.

  In other words, you’re making perfectly clear that McCade was not a tyrant.

  [Curtly] In other words, I’m telling you those albums were Preacher McCade and the Roadmasters.

  It isn’t all about Preacher, especially sittin’ right here.

  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to anger you.

  [Shakes head]

  It’s cool. I’m alright.

  But I had decades of that, and I get it.

  Though I don’t need it in my own living room.

  The thing is…

  The thing that people don’t know, and even on occasion I forgot, is that Preach and me were the band.

  We were the band.

  And maybe you need to be in a band to get what that means.

  But we got it.

  We knew it, him and me.

  But gotta say, I got tired of the fact it was only him and me who knew it.

  And then, unfortunately, I let my part of that shit slide.

  And so did he.

  After we recorded it was videos and press and setting up the tour, which at first, was limited.

  Then they released “Trench Coat,” which soared to number two, and our ten-date tour became a fifteen-date tour.

  They release “Cards and Sharks,” and that only makes number four, but the album is selling so hot, it’s lunacy.

  So, the fifteen-date tour becomes a twenty-five-date tour.

  [Off tape]

  Can you talk about the press conference for the Like a Desperation tour?

  [Drops chin, closes eyes and shakes head before reengaging]

  Going through all this with you, I’m seeing why a kid your age would be interested in the whole story.

  We’ll just say that Preacher was not over that shit String magazine pulled.

  I mean, the man made a promise to Audie and there’s that picture, full color, for the whole world to see.

  And he and Lyla hadn’t even gone there yet.

  The man he is, he called Audie even though it was highly unlikely Audie read String magazine. Someone might show him, and Preacher wanted him forewarned, but also, he was put in a position to have to explain, which, I think you can imagine, was a seriously uncomfortable position to be in.

  And straight up, he was pissed not only his and Lyla’s privacy was violated like that, but the band’s.

  And I’ll tell you what.

  He was right to be pissed.

  We all were.

  Press is sitting in on a sound check, you should know press is sitting in at a sound check.

  Press is anywhere near you, you should know press is there.

  The end.

  And this is where what Josh pulled starts to escalate.

  Because, if he doesn’t blab his lies to a reporter, no one knows who Lyla is.

  Sure, she’d eventually be on Preacher’s arm at awards shows, and the woman she was, way she dressed and carried herself, she might get attention.

  But Josh made her a curiosity.

  The girl who was fuckin’ two members of a band, maybe both of them together at the same time, and starts that shit when she’s not of age, people are gonna wanna have a look at.

  We were all powerless to protect her.

  And obviously, the person who felt that the worst was Preacher.

  I’ll tell you this, when we finished Like a Desperation, I was fuckin’ elated.

  Not that it was done.

  That it was that fuckin’ good.

  That feeling lasted about five minutes before I was fuckin’ terrified.

  Because we gotta play it for the label, and what if they don’t agree?

  [Grins]

  They did, but then you release it, or when you release the singles from it, that whole thing cycles back.

  Never ending.

  Now, we’re sitting down to announce our tour, talk about Like a Desperation, something we’re all proud as fuck of, talk about Night Lies, about our music and the show we’re taking on the road, our first headliner, about the band and how we got where we are and what we think about it.

  Two questions in, reporters are asking about Lyla?

  [Shakes head]

  I was sitting next to him and I could actually feel the fury beating off Preacher.

  I was with him, and not a member of the band didn’t feel some level of the same.

  Tommy and the guy from the label try to deflect, get them back on track, some asshole gets up and asks about Lyla’s weight.

  [Shakes head again, now appearing to be getting angry]

  Her…fuckin’…weight.

  [Suddenly starts speaking through chuckling]

  So, Preacher leans forward to his microphone and says something like, “I done fucked the skinny ones and they were no good at it. Maybe it’s because they needed a sandwich. I’m keepin’ what I got. Finally found one who’s got a brain in her head as well as a body that looks good in jeans, and incidentally, she also doesn’t think with her twat.”

  [Explodes with laughter and continues speaking]

  He gets up and stalks off.

  Dave leans to a mic and says, “Fuck y’all.”

  Then he gets up and stalks off.

  Tim just flips them off and then he’s outta there.

  I’m sittin’ there, because if I move, I might punch somebody.

  So, Shawn leans to a mic and says, “Any more questions?” And without giving anyone the chance to say dick, he says, “Good. Hope you enjoy the album and the tour. Thanks for coming.”

  Then he grabs my arm, hauls me out of my chair…

  [Words barely decipherable due to laughter]

  And pulls me outta there.

  [Continues to laugh until laughter is spent]

  Shit.

  Our first press conference.

  [Smiles]

  The label was delighted.

  [Again, explodes with laughter]

  [Off tape]

  It cannot be denied, in retrospect, that all of this served the band far more than it detracted from it. It wasn’t just simply no press is bad press. The closer the band got to each other and the tighter it made its circle of protection around Lyla, the more you won hearts and minds and listeners. Especially considering most people knew many of your songs were about her and the affection, intimacy and romance in them were, there’s no other way to put it…epic.

  Yeah, that’s the Brightside.

  You take a phone call from your girlfriend who’s having shit said about the size of her ass in magazines.

  I’ll happily sell about ten million less albums so Lyla didn’t have to go through that.

  I understand. And I don’t want to belabor a point that’s emotional for you. But the dichotomy of the Roadmasters being gentlemen rockers, at the same time the bad boys of rock, this lat
ter coming out solely around looking after their own, was a part of your mystique that endures to this day and has made legend. Your most recent response being indicative of just that.

  [No reply for some time, and then a smile]

  Well, when you say it like that.

  And it cannot really be denied that, Lyla taking the high road, she got hers back. When Audie and Lynie Live On was released, the basis of the fascination with her shifted. It became less about Hardy’s comments, more about her romance and relationship with McCade, her style, as she was swiftly becoming an icon, and frankly, with her resolute refusal to rise to any bait and her stalwart support of McCade and the band, her substance.

  I hear you.

  But do that to another woman, she would have been chewed up.

  I’m not gonna thank Josh for bein’ an asshole and I’m not gonna thank the press for raking a twenty-year-old woman over the coals for no reason whatsoever. That’s not news and the size of the jeans she wears is nobody’s fuckin’ business and anyone’s opinion on it isn’t worth dick.

  I’m down with the idea that the band formed a reputation of looking after its own.

  Because, we did.

  The rest of them still can go fuck themselves.

  Night Lies enjoyed good sales and good reviews. Like a Desperation and its sold-out tour established a strong foothold. But would you agree that Audie and Lynie Live On, especially its overwhelming critical acclaim, put you on the musical map in the sense that you were a force to be reckoned with and nothing was going to take that away?

  Yeah.

  Oh yeah.

  Those two years of recording, promoting and touring for Like a Desperation then digging into Audie and Lynie were rife, sister.

  Audie was getting sicker and sicker.

  Lynie’d had her stroke. Then she had her next one.

  Lyla had graduated, but Julia was still in school.

  Preacher was mostly on the road, and when he wasn’t, his work was in LA.

  They were flying all over every-fuckin’-where to have time together and deal with all the shit that was piling on them.

  In the mix, my sister Penny gets married to her first husband, and he’s an asshole. I’m worried. Mom’s worried. Tim’s worried. Preach is worried. Lyla’s worried.

  And jacking that up further, this is when Nick Pileggi rears up again, a very unwelcome blast from the past, and we gotta deal with his shit in the press, handle Penny, the assholes who come forward, convinced they can get somethin’ outta the band ’cause they say they’ve adopted Penny’s kid and Nick’s bullshit lawsuits.

  So obviously, that goin’ on, Lyla’s the one who’s torn ’cause she’s worried about Penny and Mom with all this shit, but also Preacher and me.

  And now that Lyla’s out of school, what’s next?

  Does she leave all that’s going down in Indiana and find a teaching job in LA, living in a town her man is rarely in, and when he is, he’s got people pulling him every which way?

  Or does she stick by her family? And, to be honest, Penny, who she’s also now looking after, not to mention my mom.

  But if she does that, her chances to be with Preacher are practically nil.

  Preacher wants to build a studio on Audie and Lynie’s property.

  I’m down with that so I can keep an eye on my sister.

  But before we can even think about it, the label wants a follow up and they’re talking about another tour, and since our reach is growing, they want it starting in Asia, then Europe, then back in America.

  We’re nominated and a couple want us to present so Lyla’s flying to LA to go to awards shows.

  And when she does, she’s got mics in her face because everyone wants to know who’s dressing her and who did her hair and she’s saying shit like, “I got this at a vintage store.” And “Me.”

  [Off tape]

  Isn’t it during this period when McCade had his first altercation with the paparazzi?

  [Sighs]

  Yes, and it is rare I’ll call that man stupid, but that was not smart.

  In his defense, those incidents were close to the beginning, Lyla was getting shit on in the press, and he was protective.

  But Shawn sat him down, had a word with him and explained what Preach had already figured out.

  The minute he got up in their shit, it got worse.

  So, after the first, the next two happened because the photographer touched her.

  Preacher learned to block them with his body in a way that wasn’t aggressive and we all learned a variety of tricks to deal with that shit.

  And they ended.

  Audie and Lynie Live On is still our most raw, emotional album.

  Audie was gone by then, Lynie would die when we were on tour for that album, and it was good and bad we did that.

  Good because two people who would have gone quietly into that goodnight without anyone outside those closest to them knowing what solid, decent, good people they were would have sucked.

  Bad because we had to perform those songs at every gig and be gutted when we did.

  And I’ll tell you what, I never really got it, because the people that gutted the most were Preacher and especially Lyla.

  As great as that album was, as meaningful as it was, to the band, to music, to those two and Sonia and Jules [shakes head] I just never got it.

  It was like a new death every time, you know?

  Like losing them over and over again.

  And then I saw Laurie Anderson accept for Lou Reed when he was inducted into the [Rock and Roll] Hall of Fame.

  And I sat there and listened to Anderson talking about how you die three times. When your heart stops. When you’re buried or cremated. And the last time someone says your name.

  I watched that, her saying that, and the audience chanting, “Lou, Lou, Lou.”

  [Turns head, takes a moment, coughs, looks back]

  [Quietly] This is it, sister. Listen carefully.

  This was the kind of man Preacher was.

  This was the kind of thing that Preacher knew.

  It was right there in front of me and I was so close to it, I did not fuckin’ get it.

  It was all in the title.

  Audie and Lynie Live On.

  No matter it cut him to the bone to do it, he gave them to the world, but especially to Lyla and her sisters, in a way that they will never die.

  That was Preacher.

  [Clears throat]

  That was Preacher McCade.

  When their declining health made the decision easy for her, Lyla decided to move to LA.

  Preacher found a house…

  Strike that, Tom found Preach and Lyla a house a lot like that first one we had out there that Tommy rented, except smaller, more secluded, whole fuckin’ place was surrounded by green, even the front, and it didn’t have a view, but it had a pool.

  [Chuckles]

  So not like that first house at all, except it had a pool. But it felt like it since we were all there so often.

  We all had our own pads by then, but it felt like we were always with Lyla and Preach at their crib.

  Maybe because that’s the only place we could get good, home-cooked food and we all liked our food.

  [Bursts out laughing, then quiets]

  But mostly, we liked bein’ around Lyla and Preach.

  She got a job in the school system, which was a disaster from the start.

  First, she’s famous and living with a famous guy and you cannot be the first one of those and have a job in the Los Angeles Public School System.

  Second, being a teacher was her mother’s dream, not Lyla’s, and she didn’t take to it.

  It could be the first had to do with the second.

  After a while, she moved from the public-school system to a private school, but it didn’t get much better on either front.

  In the end, it was just clear, although Lyla loves kids, that wasn’t her calling.

  This was probably the worst thin
g that could have happened.

  Lyla trying to make a go of teaching, giving up on it and then she’s cast adrift.

  She felt like a failure.

  She felt like she was letting her mother down, her grandparents.

  She was lost and the man who could make her feel found was in Singapore or Berlin or Vancouver or wherever the fuck.

  Yeah.

  That was not good.

  We were all burning out, man.

  Preacher was the only man taken in the band, but he’s from Louisiana. Even if his woman is half a world away, he can party and do it where it doesn’t end with his dick getting sucked.

  And the man could party hard.

  But it wasn’t just booze and weed and blow and a good time after every gig.

  It was a pill to wake up and a pill to get some sleep and a pill to knock you out on the plane and a couple of lines before you go onstage, which would turn into someone getting a solo so the rest of us could walk off because we needed to do a couple more.

  Lyla doesn’t know any of this shit is happening.

  Preacher doesn’t understand all that’s going on with her seein’ as she’s putting on a brave face when Preacher phones home.

  And Preach isn’t exactly hiding, but he isn’t being forthcoming.

  But then she’s not working, and she starts flying out on occasion to join the tour for a while, and suddenly she’s in that mix, at his side, full bore.

  [Shakes head, smiling]

  She could party too.

  Or if we’re on a break and he’s with her and they go out, especially after that album and all that was in it that people now know, it’s almost a frenzy around them.

  And that is not her vibe.

  His either, obviously.

  Looking back, I wish she was on that tour with us, start to finish, and then all the ones after.

  Because when she was, the one-two tag team of Preach lookin’ after the band in his way, and Lyla doing it hers, with Tom’s overlording…

  [Laughs]

  I think, maybe…

  I might be wrong, but I think if she was all in instead of in and out, things woulda gone different.