Worth Every Step

by K. G. MacGregor

  Little by little, Mary Kate moved with the stroking hand inside her, her breathing hitching each time her clitoris was teased.

  “That’s it. I love it when you move with me.” Addison pressed her hips to Mary Kate’s thigh to quell her own need, which grew exponentially with each rise and fall. Then suddenly, the orgasm ripped through Mary Kate, and she bit into Addison’s shoulder to muffle a scream.

  “How do you do that?” Mary Kate rasped.

  “I told you. Your body knows.”

  They lay still for several minutes while Mary Kate caught her breath. “Can I touch you?”

  The question surprised her, but set her body aflame. “Of course.” She fell onto her back as Mary Kate rolled onto her side. A tentative hand stroked her stomach and hip before slowly tracking upward to touch her breast. Addison watched as her nipples darkened and formed peaks. “See how excited that gets me.”

  Mary Kate explored the shape and feel of her breasts, first one, then the other, before lowering her head to draw a nipple into her mouth.

  “And I love that.”

  Seemingly confident in this newfound pleasure, Mary Kate devoured her breasts, combining all possible tactics—licking, nibbling, blowing, tugging. Addison was ready to touch herself when finally a hand wandered lower and into the soft curls at the apex of her thighs. When it lingered too long, Addison gently took Mary Kate’s wrist and moved it lower.

  “Feel what you do to me.”

  She shuddered as Mary Kate’s fingers slid through her slickened folds, and then again as Mary Kate gasped in apparent wonder. In that instant, she realized the magnitude of the moment, her first touch of another woman.

  “I want to come for you.”

  Mary Kate seemed torn between looking into her eyes and watching what her hand was doing. Addison helped her choose.

  “See what you’re doing. You have so much power over me.”

  The pressure intensified as she thrust upward into Mary Kate’s rhythmic caress, until she could stand it no more. With her thighs stiffened and high off the bed, her climax ripped through her, the pulsing waves receding in its wake.

  “Please tell me you like doing that.”

  Mary Kate answered her with a passion-filled kiss that begged for a new round of sensations.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Mary Kate awoke to find her back spooned against Addison’s chest. As with yesterday morning, a protective arm snaked around her midsection, triggering an automatic need to clutch it tightly and draw even closer. If their night at the View Hotel had raised questions, they had been answered repeatedly last night. Addison had touched and tasted her until she nearly cried. She had no idea that her body was capable of the things drawn from her—five powerful climaxes in two days. Even the meager response she had felt with Bobby—which mimicked the simple release she achieved when she touched herself—was something she had managed only two or three times in a whole year of sporadic sexual relations, and added together, they didn’t equal the excitement she felt just from kissing Addison.

  It had never been intimacy with Bobby, she realized. There were barriers to her body that she hadn’t known existed until Addison broke them down. Addison had shown patience, coaxing her again to relax and to listen to what her body wanted. And what her body wanted from Addison was to be consumed.

  She shuddered at the thought that entered her head as they had blown out the candle and given in to exhaustion. This is what she wanted to feel when she finally fell in love.

  That idea had her soaring and sinking before she finally drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t necessary to set emotional boundaries, because their return on Saturday was a boundary unto itself. What they had here in Africa would have to end at the Kilimanjaro airport. Addison would go on to her exciting lesbian life in London, and she would go back to Mooresville to end things with Bobby and remake her life into something simple, something that would let her find a man who could make her feel this way.

  She wasn’t free to pursue this kind of love, even if by some miracle Addison felt the same way. Her stomach knotted to imagine the uproar such a decision would cause, not only between her and her family, but for all of them as they dealt with the fallout from others in their small town. She couldn’t put them through something like that. There was nothing Addison had shown her that she couldn’t have with someone else, now that she knew how it felt.

  A pair of soft lips on her shoulder announced that Addison was awake. Turning to greet smiling eyes, she shook off her complicated thoughts. “Good morning.”

  Addison answered with a kiss to the top of her head. “I like this,” she said. “Waking up with you.”

  Mary Kate snuggled closer, remembering their last morning at Millennium Hut. Lying together nude was warm and sensuous, but that didn’t make it natural for her, no matter how good it felt. Life was unfair like that, attaching kinks to everything so that nothing was perfect.

  As they lay quietly, Addison stroked her skin in an intimate way that wasn’t overtly sexual. From time to time, she would pause to kiss a particular spot or study it as though committing it to memory. Had it been anyone else, Mary Kate might have felt self-conscious under such scrutiny. But in their time together, on the mountain and here in bed, Addison had given her nothing but comforting reassurance, never once asking her to be someone she wasn’t. All she had asked was that Mary Kate surrender, not to her, but to herself.

  She had done so willingly, and had found a side of herself she hadn’t known existed, though she was left now with more questions than answers. What would it be like to go back home and have this secret between them? Would their friendship always include a sexual pull, even if they never gave in to it again? She knew already that she wouldn’t feel drawn to Bobby that way once they parted, but this intimacy with Addison was deeper.

  At seven sharp, Addison’s watch chimed and they pulled themselves reluctantly from bed. “This reminds me of those people who need a vacation to get over their vacation,” Addison said.

  “Because we’ve spent ours climbing a mountain?”

  “No, because sleeping with you leaves me knackered.”

  “Knackered. I’ve heard Brits use that. It means tired, right?”

  “It’s kind of a raunchy slang for being tired after sex. Very fitting.”

  All through breakfast, Mary Kate played the word over and over in her head. They had confessed to caring for each other, but Addison probably saw it the same way she did—an exciting sexual interlude, one they could enjoy without guilt or expectations.

  “You’re quiet,” Addison said as they climbed into their vehicle.

  “I’m knackered too,” she said, nervously checking John for any sign of understanding.

  From the lodge, they took a long, steep road down into the crater. John was adept at game spotting, and knew the English words for most of the wildlife. Driving away from herds of wildebeests, zebras and Thompson’s gazelles, he located a pair of rhinos grazing in the tall grass. Mary Kate got her best view standing atop the vehicle, and with Addison’s camera, captured the wonder of seeing the animals in their natural habitat.

  When they stopped by a lake to eat the box lunch provided by the lodge, John advised them in his best broken English not to exit the vehicle, because dangerous lions roamed the area at will. However, others were picnicking in the grass by the lake, so they bravely followed suit. Their only encounter with wildlife left them both laughing, as Addison lost her sandwich to a swooping bird while she was taking a photo.

  Before they left the crater, John stopped and set the roof panels back into place for the sixty-kilometer drive to the Serengeti. Mary Kate relaxed against the armrest, the gentle jostling almost lulling her to sleep.

  “We got some great photos. What will the folks back in Georgia say when they see how close you got to a rhinoceros?”

  Mary Kate chuckled. “Who knows if they’ll even care? At least my Aunt Jean will get a kick out of it. She always wanted to come to Af
rica, and she slipped me some money under the table to pay for this part.”

  “She must be a special lady.”

  “She’s the best. I’ve always thought I was her favorite, but I actually think all my cousins feel the same way.” Mary Kate chuckled as she thought of her aunt. “She’s my father’s oldest sister, and she helped raise all of her siblings after their mom died. She was like the grandmother we never had.”

  “That’s sweet. I didn’t know my grandparents at all. I was always jealous of my friends who had them.”

  “I was too, but Aunt Jean made up for it. She made a quilt for each of her nieces and nephews to give to them as a wedding present. My sister’s the youngest—she’s twenty—and she plans to marry the first guy who asks. I got my quilt when I was twenty- two because Aunt Jean said it looked like I wasn’t going to get married.”

  “She gave up on you at twenty-two?” Addison laughed. “On the other hand, you haven’t exactly proven her wrong.”

  “No, I guess I haven’t. And I’ve enjoyed my quilt for two winters already.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever really consider leaving Mooresville? I know we talked about it a little bit on the mountain, and there are things about being there that get under your skin. But could you give up being close to your family?”

  When Mary Kate thought about her cousins and Aunt Jean, to her growing up. But at some point, they had taken different paths, and hers was the only one that had led to college. “I think I could, but to be honest, I can’t imagine being too far away. Maybe I’ll feel different about it after I break up with Bobby.”

  With a jolt, it suddenly occurred to her that, technically, they were still a couple, and she had been unfaithful. Addison seemed to read her thoughts.

  “You’ve already broken up with Bobby. You just haven’t told him yet.”

  She nodded, uneasy about whether she would have seen it that way had the shoe been on the other foot. “I guess I’ll have the whole year to sort things out about work. Who knows what can happen in that much time?”

  “Maybe you’ll meet someone who makes you want to move away to London,” Addison said, batting her eyelashes.

  She wasn’t serious. Impossible. “I think my family would have me committed before they’d let me move to London.” Her stomach fluttered at the thought. Would she do such a thing? No, not even to Miami. That took nerve she didn’t have. She had pushed all reasonable limits just to come to Africa on her own, and that didn’t even count the fallout over Bobby.

  “But if you moved out of Mooresville—no matter where you went—you’d at least have your own life.”

  “I’ll never have a life without my family, no matter where I live.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about having a life outside of the one they have planned for you.”

  “Breaking up with Bobby’s going to burst that bubble. I don’t have to leave for that.”

  “But say you did.” She shifted in the seat so they were facing each other. “Where would you go if you left tomorrow?”

  She shrugged, and before she could think how to respond, Addison changed her question.

  “What’s important to you now? What kind of life do you want to live?”

  A storm of emotion washed over her, too much to comprehend. She shook her head and looked away.

  “Have you been listening to yourself at all these last few days, Mary Kate?” Addison touched her chin and forced her to make eye contact. “Not just to your words, but to everything. I think the answers are there if you’ll just pay attention to them.”

  Where? In her body’s response to Addison’s touch? “I hate to break it to you, but that part of me isn’t the most important thing in my life,” she said, sounding more irritated than she had intended.

  Addison recoiled, blowing out a breath and turning to look out the window. After an extended silence, she finally spoke, her mood deflated. “I’m sorry. I obviously need to butt out.”

  “Maasai,” John shouted, pointing to a group that had gathered along the side of the road. They were boys, all clad in black and turquoise, with painted white faces.

  Mary Kate reached for Addison’s camera.

  John rolled down his window and talked to the boys in Swahili. “One dollar,” he said after striking a bargain.

  Addison produced a couple of bills. One of the youths peeked inside the vehicle and resumed negotiations, raising the ante.

  “Water too,” John added, indicating their bottle on the backseat.

  They made the trade and got pictures, then continued the trip in awkward silence. Mary Kate wanted to cry with frustration. Addison hadn’t said or done anything wrong, certainly not enough to warrant being snapped at. The curt response had come from a morass of conflicting emotion, of wishing these last few days could be more than just a sexual romp, but knowing there was no room for the kind of romantic attraction she felt. It was easier just to deny the feelings than to face not being able to act on them. “You didn’t say anything wrong, Addison. I’ve got a lot going on in my head.”

  “I know, and I promised you I’d listen if you wanted to talk about it. I also promised myself I wouldn’t add to the chorus of people telling you what to do.” about making a move because everyone in Mooresville is going to have an opinion about it.”

  “You mean about you and Bobby?”

  “About Bobby. About my job.” She sighed. “Everything. I’m sorry if I sounded bitchy.”

  “It’s okay.” She jerked her head in the direction of John. “This isn’t exactly the best place to be talking about this anyway.”

  To signal the end of the episode, they began pointing out interesting sights along the roadside. The Serengeti terrain was different from what they had seen at the lake and at the crater, more desert-like with occasional stands of trees and boulders that lent shade to a variety of species. Plants were brown and yellow. Even the green leaves held a thick coat of grayish dust.

  It was here they got their best look at a lion, lazily stretched alongside the roadway, seemingly oblivious to their presence. From the top of the Land Cruiser, they were close enough to count the whiskers on his face. For almost a half hour, they watched quietly as he regally ignored them.

  “I hope we see a cheetah,” Mary Kate said, slumping into her seat as they moved on to the next stand of trees. It was tiresome to balance for a long period of time while standing on the seat.

  “And a leopard. Those are rarely spotted in the wild.”

  “I thought they were always spotted.” Her play on words earned her a gentle kick.

  Near sunset, they pulled into the Seronera Wildlife Lodge, where they were scheduled to stay for the next two nights. The lodge incorporated the indigenous rock into its architecture, and was home to thousands of gerbil-like rodents that huddled along the walkways and windowsills.

  Mary Kate shuddered uncontrollably. “Heebie-jeebies,” she said, imagining they were walking among rats.

  “Try not to think about it.”

  Their room was similar to the one at the crater lodge, twin beds on either side of a nightstand. After their conversation in the car, Mary Kate wasn’t sure what the night would bring. Addison by the door instead of choosing a bed.

  “Tom’s reviews said the food here was the best of all the lodges.”

  The centerpiece of the buffet dinner at the Seronera Lodge was barbecued pork ribs, made even more interesting by the suggestion from a tablemate from Australia that the meat was likely from a wild warthog rather than a farm-raised pig. Whatever the source, they ate their fill and headed back to their room to shower before the hot water was turned off at eight thirty. The desert ride had left them dusty, and the sun had sapped their energy.

  “Your nose is sunburned,” Addison said as Mary Kate exited the bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

  “I’m not surprised. I should probably wear a hat tomorrow.”

  “I have sunscreen if you want it.”

  Mary Kate hated t
heir stilted conversation. It was clear that Addison was being careful not to stir up another hornet’s nest with personal talk. “I never thought you were telling me what to do, Addison.” She sighed and sank onto the bed. “You make me think about things I’d rather run from.”

  Addison took a seat directly across from her so they could talk. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said. I wasn’t trying to suggest that sex was the answer to everything. I guess I just wanted you to realize that you didn’t have to be stuck with that life anymore.” She ran her hands through her hair anxiously. “And I wanted you to ask yourself if you needed what we have together. Because I do.”

  “Addison…”

  “I’m not saying either one of us is ready to make a big leap, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about how we might be able to make this work.”

  Mary Kate would be lying also to say she hadn’t entertained such a fantasy. But that had been back when they were on the mountain, when she had dismissed it as one-sided, thinking Addison could never find someone like her interesting enough to be more than a friend. Since then, she had held her fantasies in check believing they had no place to go. “What could you possibly see in someone like me?”

  Addison leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I see such a lovely person, like a pearl no one else has found. I hear you talk about the people back in Mooresville, and I can’t believe anyone would try to shape you into someone else, or that they wouldn’t be lined up to be with you.”

  Mary Kate stared at her in disbelief. No one, not even Bobby, had ever said such beautiful things.

  “So at the risk of telling you what to do, I really want you to start thinking about where we’re going to go from here. If you feel anything at all about me like I feel about you, and I don’t mean just sexually. I mean if you’re falling in love with me, then what’s happening between us is worth keeping. We’ll find a way to be together.”