Worth Every Step

by K. G. MacGregor

  The urge to talk with Addison was overpowering, even at the risk of waking her, and she pressed the call button on her cell phone. If only she could wake her with a kiss. “How soon can you get here?”

  “Mary Kate?”

  “Who else would be asking you that?”

  “I listened to your message fifty times. I think I broke my phone.”

  She could hear the smile in Addison’s voice. “I can leave another one if you want, but I’d rather tell you in person.”

  Addison said that she had come home to find a Contract Pending sign in her yard, and a message from her father saying she had sixty days to make the move to London. “I’m not going to do it, Mary Kate. I’m not going to London. It’s time we both took charge of our lives.”

  “What about your job?”

  “I’d rather wait tables in Homestead. Or hell, in Mooresville, Georgia.”

  “You might have some competition for that job. I can’t imagine they’ll let me teach any more once they find out I have a girlfriend.”

  “Did you tell Bobby?”

  “Not yet. I’ll talk to him tonight. But I talked to my mom a little, and it’s not going to be as bad as I thought. Of course, I haven’t told her about you yet.”

  “Just don’t tell her I laughed at you when you fell in the water.”

  Mary Kate couldn’t believe how close she had come to throwing this away. “I love you, Addison.”

  “I love you too.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  “I guess I have to find a job somewhere in the States. I had a couple of interesting bites from the stuff I sent out. I need to call them today and set something up.”

  “In Miami?”

  “I’m not sure. With these big institutions, their openings could be anywhere. I just have to be flexible and remember that anything is better than London. Besides, I like adventure. How about you?”

  The way they were talking, Mary Kate was actually starting to believe they could work things out. But there were still obstacles to overcome. “I don’t know if I can get out of my contract this year. It’s awfully late to be giving notice. They might not be able to find somebody else to take my class.”

  “We’ll work it out, Mary Kate. We don’t have to be together to build on this, at least not right now. Just knowing how you feel is enough for now.”

  “How I feel is that I’m in love with you.”

  “That’s all I need.”

  Her spirit buoyed by the call, Mary Kate attacked her housework with new vigor. By mid-afternoon, her laundry was done, her apartment aired out and her pantry and refrigerator restocked. Then she took a leisurely bath, talking to the soap dish as if it were Bobby. No matter what his objections, she would heed her mother’s advice and keep her reasons free of anything that might hurt his feelings. If life worked out the way she wanted, he would find out about Addison eventually and put it all together. For now, she would skip those details and lay the blame for their demise squarely on her own shoulders.

  After a quick dinner, she drove over to Bobby’s. They hadn’t set a time to meet, but he watched the six o’clock news every night, so she timed her arrival at seven. He met her at the door without a word, leaving her to close it when she stepped inside.

  The instant she entered the apartment, she knew something was wrong. The cheerful, accommodating demeanor that sometimes drove her to distraction was nowhere to be found. In its place was a stern formality, much like the one she had seen on those few occasions when he disciplined a student who had misbehaved.

  “Is everything okay, Bobby?”

  “You wanted to talk. That’s why you’re here.” He pushed his hands into his pockets and rested his hip on the credenza. It was intimidating to see him this way, coiled like a snake set to strike.

  Her mind raced to find an explanation for his obvious anger. She had never seen him like this. He had been fine yesterday when she left the house, and again on the phone last night. What could have happened? Had he talked to her mother?

  “You know, when you dropped me off at the airport, you asked me to do some thinking while I was gone…thinking about us.” She hated the way her voice shook. “I did, and I think we should break up.”

  She waited for his response, but got only a dark stare.

  “I haven’t meant to lead you on these last few months. I honestly thought it was all going to work out, but now I realize we don’t really want the same things.”

  This was getting ridiculous. He obviously had something to say, but wanted her to drag it out of him. That was a game she didn’t want to play.

  Looking at her with obvious contempt, he reached inside the top drawer of the credenza. She felt the blood drain from her face as she saw what was in his hand—her camera.

  “Who is she, Mary Kate?”

  “Give me that. You had no right to look at my pictures.” She lunged to grab it, but he pulled it out of her reach.

  “I should have listened to Corey when he told me what people said about you. Now I understand completely why you didn’t want me to come to Africa. You two were planning a little rendezvous.”

  “That’s not true. She was one of the people in our group. I didn’t even know her until—”

  “Ninety-five pictures, Mary Kate. Ninety-five out of a hundred and twelve. If I hadn’t seen some zebras in the background, I wouldn’t even know you’d been to Africa.”

  In her mind, she inventoried all of the photos she had taken. Most of them were inside the safari vehicle, either candid shots of Addison watching the scenery, or staged as she mugged with silly faces. None were risqué or suggested more than a friendship. As calmly as she could, she explained herself. “Addison had a better camera than mine. We took all the pictures with her camera and she promised to send them to me. I took those of her just playing around.”

  His face reddened and he stood up as if to approach her, an apology already on his lips.

  “The tour company paired us up for the safari.” She swallowed hard. “And we fell in love with each other.”

  He stopped in his tracks.

  “I wasn’t going to tell you, because she didn’t have anything to do with you and me. I made up my mind on the way over there that I was going to break up with you when I got back. I even sent Deb an e-mail as soon as I got there. You can ask her if you want.”

  Clearly anguished, he ran his hands through his hair and turned away, slumping into a chair in the living room.

  “I didn’t know, Bobby. I thought I was…I just thought it was something I could choose.”

  “Of course you can choose,” he said tersely. “You chose to have relations with me, didn’t you?”

  “I thought I wanted a husband and kids like everyone else, but I don’t. I’ve had these feelings all my life, wanting more from my girlfriends, but afraid to even think about it.”

  “You should have been,” he muttered. “It’s perverted.”

  She bit her tongue to keep from snapping back. Bobby wasn’t spouting things just to hurt her. He believed what he was saying, and nothing she could say would change his mind. “I don’t expect you to understand. But under the circumstances, I’d like you to see if you can get me out of my contract for this year, or at least get me a transfer over to Oak Hill.”

  “You’ll be lucky to keep your job at all, Mary Kate. This is going to be a big mess, and I don’t really care.”

  “Would you like that, Bobby? Would you like to tell everybody so they’ll all think I’m trash?”

  His jaw twitched with anger.

  “Look, I don’t expect you to feel good about anything right now. But think about what’s best for everybody. This is nobody else’s business. You don’t need to hurt my mom and dad, or Carol Lee. They’ve always been nice to you, and they’re going to have a hard enough time as it is.”

  Appealing to his sense of kindness toward others seemed to be having the desired effect. He finally sighed in resignation. “I just don’t underst
and it, Mary Kate. I thought we were good together.”

  “I thought we were too, most of the time. But there was always something missing for me, and I didn’t know what it was. That’s why I wouldn’t take the ring. I kept waiting for it to fix itself, and it never did.” She could almost hear her mother sitting on her shoulder and whispering what she ought to say next. “I should have figured it out sooner. Something had to be wrong if I couldn’t make it with a guy as good as you.”

  He looked at her with new interest.

  “Seriously, Bobby. I knew how lucky I was to have you for a boyfriend. Everybody said so. You’re smart, you’re as sweet as they come and you’re the handsomest guy in Hurston County.” She definitely had his attention now. “There’s only one thing that could have kept me from falling in love with you forever, and that was not being attracted to men. If a woman doesn’t like a porterhouse steak like you, don’t bother trying to give her a plain old sirloin.” She couldn’t believe she had actually said that.

  Bobby, though, seemed to grasp the analogy. “I really don’t want anybody to know about this, Mary Kate.”

  “I don’t plan on taking out an ad in the paper.” Nor did she plan to sneak around. “People will probably figure it out eventually, but you’ll be married with nine kids by then.”

  “I don’t know if I can get another special ed teacher. We don’t get many of those applications.”

  Mary Kate sat on the ottoman and leaned forward on her knees. “I’ll honor my contract if you need me to. But I hope we can find a way to be friends through this. If we’re not, it’s going to make all the other teachers uncomfortable.”

  “Fine.”

  She patted his knee and stood. “I’m really sorry.”

  Getting no more response, she collected her camera and headed for home.

  Chapter Thirty

  Addison spun the radio dial in a futile attempt to find something besides country music. Finally, she turned it off and returned her attention to the parking lot. From her space in the corner she could clearly see everyone who came and went.

  The building’s residents probably wondered who she was and what she was waiting for. She could see from the marked parking space in front of unit three that Mary Kate wasn’t home, and even though it wasn’t yet dark at eight o’clock, others had their lights on inside already.

  She should have told Mary Kate she was coming. Sometimes the wrong people got surprised.

  That was the nightmare that played over and over in her head, that Mary Kate would stay with Bobby tonight, either to comfort him or because she had changed her mind. Addison would wait until ten or so, then head back to Atlanta for the night. And probably throw up.

  This was the most impulsive thing she had ever done. It had seemed so romantic at the time, as she envisioned swooping Mary Kate into her arms and making love to her all night long.

  She had been miserable on the flight home yesterday, certain Mary Kate would collapse under pressure from her family and friends. The most frustrating part for Addison was knowing Mary Kate was giving up what she really wanted in order to make everyone else happy.

  When she had landed in Miami and listened to her messages, she let out a whoop that caused everyone in the first-class cabin to laugh at her obvious good fortune. Most even cheered when she explained why. “She loves me!”

  And now she was here in Mooresville, Georgia, with its main street and subdivisions, a school complex that housed K through twelve, and a huge blue water tower with the city’s name painted on the side. Thanks to the address on Tom Muncie’s information sheets, the navigation system in the rental car had led her right to the door.

  She had no idea what Mary Kate drove, but when she saw the white Dodge Neon, she began to smile. Sure enough, it parked at unit three, and Mary Kate got out.

  Addison opened her door and called out.

  “Oh, my God!”

  They met in the center of the lot and hugged.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “Me neither. Is it okay?”

  “Of course it is.” She lowered her voice. “But come inside so I can kiss you.”

  “Lead the way.”

  They walked up the stairs and into the apartment, where Mary Kate closed and locked the door. There they greeted like the lovers they were, hotly kissing and reaching inside one another’s clothes.

  “I missed you,” Addison said. She was excited to realize she was actually in Mary Kate’s home. Two days ago, this seemed impossible. When they came up for air, they reined in their lust and sat side by side on the couch with their hands entwined.

  “You’re never going to believe why I’m here.”

  “I don’t even care why you’re here. I’ve had just about the worst evening of my life. Bobby got hold of my camera and saw all those pictures I took of you on the safari. He jumped to conclusions, and he just happened to be right.”

  What Addison remembered was that those pictures were taken in the company of John, and should have been relatively benign. “There was nothing in there that should have given us away.”

  “I think he was overwhelmed by the volume.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “The truth. And that old saying is right. It sets you free.”

  “You broke up?”

  “I would say that’s a big ten-four.”

  She listened as Mary Kate told her story, ending with the likelihood she would stay in her job for another year. Addison had already decided they could work with that.

  “Would you like to hear what I’m doing in Mooresville?”

  “I assume you came to see me.”

  “I did, but can I stay the night, by the way?”

  “Don’t even try to leave. I have plans for you.” Mary Kate tightened her grip on Addison’s arm.

  “Good. I have plans for you too. But I’ll need to be out of here early to make my interview.” She grinned broadly as Mary Kate digested the news. “I heard from the Fed. They liked my work on the internship and asked me to call them to set up an interview. Their regional office is in Atlanta.”

  “You might be working in Atlanta?”

  “It’s possible. They have four openings, and they wanted me to come talk to them right away. I made an appointment for tomorrow morning at eleven and then I got the bright idea to visit my new girlfriend. In fact, I thought she might even come with me…sit in the car and keep me from getting nervous.”

  “I can do that. That gives me an excuse to postpone talking to my mother.”

  “Is that going to be tough?”

  Mary Kate managed a small smile. “Probably, but not as bad as I thought. Turns out she’s been talking to my best friend for a while, and the two of them figured it out before I did.”

  “It happens.”

  “I need to tell you something real important before we make any big decisions,” Mary Kate said seriously.

  “I thought we’d already made a big decision.”

  “We did, but I’m not going to be able to be as open about us as I know you want me to be, at least not right away. It doesn’t have anything to do with being ashamed. I just don’t want to hurt anybody.”

  Addison was admittedly disappointed, but after seeing what a truly small town this was, she understood the reluctance. “Is that going to be just a Mooresville thing?”

  “Pretty much. All the people that matter are going to know how I feel about you, but I’m not going to be able to walk down Main Street holding your hand. Mooresville just isn’t that kind of place.”

  “I can live with that.” She draped her arm around Mary Kate’s shoulder. “You know, for all this talk, it’s hard to believe we’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks.”

  “I know. It feels like a lot longer.”

  In the back of her head, Addison acknowledged the fear that plagued all lesbians, especially the ones who got involved with women who thought they were straight—that the girlfriend would realize her mistake
and go back to men. “It’s not such a bad idea that we take our time and ease into things. If I start a new job, I’m going to have to concentrate on that for a while.”

  “I have a whole month until school starts to help you move.”

  Addison smiled. “A girl after my own heart.”

  Mary Kate nestled her head on Addison’s shoulder. “I love you.”

  “It’s not going to be easy, Mary Kate.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if the easy stuff is worth doing. The whole time I was training for Kilimanjaro, I worried about whether or not I was going to make it to the summit. Even when things were going well, I was afraid something would happen, something beyond my control. Then it all just fell into place, you and me, standing at the top.”

  “You know what I remember? You asked me that morning when we were looking up at the mountain how much I wanted it.”

  “And you wanted it bad, just like I did.”

  “That’s right. We made a pact to get there, and we did it by working together. Now we just have to ask each other again. How much do you want this, Mary Kate?”

  Mary Kate turned and straddled her lap, wrapping both arms around her neck. The look on her face said all the things Addison needed to hear. “I want it bad.”

  “Then we’ll get there. Together.”

  Publications from

  Bella Books, Inc.

  The best in contemporary lesbian fiction

  P.O. Box 10543, Tallahassee, FL 32302

  Phone: 800-729-4992

  www.bellabooks.com

  WITHOUT WARNING: Book one in the Shaken series by KG MacGregor. Without Warning is the story of their courageous journey through adversity, and their promise of steadfast love.

  THE CANDIDATE by Tracey Richardson. Presidential candidate Jane Kincaid had always expected the road to the White House would exact a high personal toll. She just never knew how high until forced to choose between her heart and her political destiny.

  TALL IN THE SADDLE by Karin Kallmaker, Barbara Johnson, Therese Szymanski and Julia Watts. The playful quartet that penned the acclaimed Once Upon A Dyke and Stake Through the Heart are back and now turning to the Wild (and Very Hot) West to bring you another collection of erotically charged, action-packed tales.