Never Blamed: A Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Chosen Narratives Book 1)

by Sabrina Kade

  “How strange,” Exdrux says. “Sidyths usually try to find mates similar to them so their children will look similar. Are you telling me that your life givers sought out mates who were their opposite? They must have been risk takers, yes?”

  My ears grow hot. This conversation is hitting entirely too close to home. “They sought out someone they liked.”

  “Oh?”

  “Someone they could love. Color didn’t matter.”

  “How odd.”

  Feeling snubbed, I fall silent as I’m led around the massive high rise. Chimase’s residence is a strange place. It reminds me so much of a fancy hotel in New York City, and yet it’s not at all. Everything is so white. The counters and the floors are white. The trim around the enormous glass windows is white. The drapes over the windows are white. Most of the Sidyths working wear white uniforms. And it’s warm. I swear the temperature is blazing around ninety, and the humidity makes it borderline challenging to breathe. I’m sweating pretty profusely, and I’m sure I don’t smell great, especially for Sidyths are who are especially attuned to smell.

  “What is this? Another human? Why? For who? I’ll speak to my father about this!”

  I keep my head lowered when a tall, gangly, female Sidyth starts screaming at the sight of me. It’s not Vydeka, so I’m somewhat relieved, but I’m still nervous as she draws close to Exdrux and me.

  “This is too much,” another feminine voice bellows. “This isn’t an auction house!”

  “Seriously,” the taller one hisses.

  “Pay no attention to them,” Exdrux mutters, shocking me. “They are high lothids.”

  I can only assume what this means. I still can’t shake the horrible feeling that these supposed low ranked females are looking at me like I’m a diseased or something. They keep talking badly about me, some actually walking alongside with Exdrux. They probably think I can’t understand them. After all, most humans can’t speak or understand Sidese, but I hear every word. And every word hurts. My shoulders bunch together.

  “She smells, Exdrux. When was the last time someone dunked her in water?”

  “Maybe we should drop her off at the watercrest!”

  “She’d ruin it!”

  “That’s enough.” Exdrux’s voice shocks me, stopping and spinning towards the voices. “This human belongs to Chimase Etansyl. She was picked out personally by him. Perhaps you would like me to deliver a message of what you think of his taste in help?”

  The taller Sidyth woman hisses lowly in her throat.

  The shorter, stockier one is still not put off. “Why does he even need a female?”

  “Would you like to become a service worker, Andrek?” Exdrux’s voice is borderline teasing, but the shorter Sidyth doesn’t seem amused. “Or perhaps you’d like to try your hand at winning him for a Chosen?”

  “I wouldn’t dare!” she gasps. “Vydeka is a vicious woman.”

  “Then I suppose this conversation is complete,” Exdrux says. “Be off with you, Andrek.”

  She hisses once more. “This is getting ridiculous.”

  And then they’re gone.

  Exdrux starts walking again, but I can’t help but feel that I owe him a thank you of some sort. But did he really defend me? Or did he merely defend Chimase? I guess I can’t be sure, but I notice my cheeks are wet. Their words did hurt me. Exdrux could have easily let them keep talking about me.

  “Thank you,” I say in a low voice.

  “Do not thank me. I do not care for these climbers.”

  “Climbers?”

  “Lothids who wish to land Chimase for themselves. They have no reason to complain about anything. It is a great honor to be chosen to work for someone with a name as important as Etansyl. I will not have his choices disrespected in my presence.” He frowns and looks down at me.

  I push my hand through my dark hair. It’s greasier than I’d care for. “I’m surprised they didn’t try to squeeze you.”

  “Me?”

  “That’s how females claim their Chosens. They squeeze you?” My eyes dip up and down Exdrux’s frame. “You said they are lower thirds… or lothids. And you’re not a bad looking guy. Couldn’t they claim you as a mate?”

  He scoffs. “They wouldn’t deign to squeeze someone as low as me. Despite their foolish behavior, they are still many steps above me. It would be so offensive that it would need to be reported.” He frowns. “I am not Chimase.”

  I have no idea what he’s talking about anymore, but this is the most Exdrux has ever spoken to me directly, and I’m not about to fuck it up. Besides, his conversation topic is interesting. Tothids and lothids. Chimase isn’t just wealthy; he’s wealthy amongst the wealthy. Those women could be reported for trying to claim Chimase because he’s too highly ranked, but Exdrux would report them if they wanted to claim him because he’s too lowly ranked.

  It’s complicated being a female on Sidetha.

  “Besides, I already have a mate,” Exdrux grumbles.

  “Oh? Well, that’s nice—”

  “I cannot stand her.”

  “Oh.”

  “The last thing I would want is another female in my life bothering me. Sidyth females are cruel.”

  I don’t dare say anything about that. He’s probably not wrong, but I would never speak ill of a Sidyth woman. They’re stronger than me. More powerful.

  I’m already on bad terms with one of them.

  “You must be alert at all times when and if Chimase calls you to his privacy lair,” he continues. “If I am not able to escort you, be on your highest guard. Word will spread that Chimase has personally picked a human. They will assume you are here for pleasure. Some may even view you as competition. A silly belief, I know, but when rutting, Sidyth females cannot think of anything other than a mate, and someone who stands in the way of landing that mate.”

  “But I’m a human.”

  “It matters not, I’m afraid.”

  “So, what…” I struggle to find the words. “What does Chimase want me for? If not for a pleasure mate?”

  Exdrux stops and stares down the white halls. There are still a few Sidyths walking around in fancy clothing despite the humidity, but all I can focus on is Exdrux’s broad back and massive shoulders. He’s well built. Fit to be a guard for someone as important as Chimase, and yet I’m not attracted to him in the least. He’s not cruel, but I’m not interested. He doesn’t make my thighs tingle like Soh. Like Chimase.

  I quickly shake the thought away. I shouldn’t be thinking about him. Weird or not. Kind or not. Chimase is still an alien. An alien who took me away from my only source of kindness.

  I approach Exdrux slowly, not wanting to startle him when he doesn’t answer me right away.

  “Please,” I whisper. Even now I don’t want a lot of others to know that I can speak Sidese well. “What does he want with me? I’m not a pleasure mate, am I? I belong to—”

  “You were not purchased for pleasure. I told you. Someone of the Etansyl name does not need to purchase a pleasure toy. Especially a lowly human.”

  “Then what the hell am I here for?”

  Finally, he turns towards me. I swear, he looks a little sad.

  “That, I do not know. That is something you will find out on your own, I suppose.”

  ***

  Even sitting in my private room in the basement of this high rise, Exdrux’s words have stuck to me. I can’t get them out of my head. This room is nice. Nicer than expected. When I heard the lowest level, I thought it would look like a basement. But it’s not bad — kind of like a crappy motel for senior week at the beach. The bed is simple but bigger than the one Soh gave me. It’s bigger than the room at the hospital. There are no windows, and the doors lock from the outside, but I don’t mind. I have to hit a button to use the bathroom. Another button gets food sent down a hole next to my cooking area. I can request almost anything if I can explain it properly in my thoughts.

  This room. This place. It’s not bad. What it is, is
boring.

  I’m alone with my thoughts, and though there’s an entertainment comm, I’m not in the mood for the news. Sidyths don’t exactly have reruns of America’s Next Top Model or Gossip Girl playing around the clock. They don’t have anything — just news.

  And so, I’m left to think.

  What could a Sidyth like Chimase want with me?

  If he’s not planning to use me as a pleasure toy, then what? Does he expect me to teach other humans how to speak and understand Sidese? Exdrux never mentioned anything about it since we got here.

  And then there’s that look on Exdrux’s face when he said he wasn’t sure what Chimase’s intentions with me were. That also bothered me.

  “Your master is on his way.”

  I lift my head towards the entertainment comm. It’s on now, with a large fanged mouth speaking to me like the beginning of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Only instead of red lips and clean white teeth, there’s fangs and a forked tongue.

  “Verbal acknowledgment required for this message. Provide verbal acknowledgment.”

  I try not to snarl at the screen. “I hear you. My master is coming.”

  The comm beeps. “Verbal acknowledgment acknowledged.”

  “Fantastic,” I say drily as the entertainment comm turns black again.

  I lean back in bed and stare up at the mirrored ceiling. The person I’m staring up at looks like complete and utter shit. I should have taken a shower, but I was so relieved by the temperature change down here that I didn’t see much of a point. But now, knowing Chimase is coming down here to retrieve me, I’m annoyed by the little voice saying I should have taken the time to clean myself up.

  “What do I care if I look like shit?” I say up to my reflection. “I’m a human. No one cares about human appearances. Soh never did.”

  The door flies openly suddenly. “Soh never did what?”

  Startled, I sit up in bed as the door closes again and a familiar face beams down at me.

  Chimase.

  Ugh, now that voice is getting loud because while I probably look like something pulled out from a drain, he’s sparkling clean and well dressed. I swear to God his fangs look shinier. He’s quite impressive to look at and, unlike before with Exdrux; my body has a definite reaction. I pinch my thighs together as Chimase all but makes himself at home, crossing the floor in a few quick strides, and taking a seat at the end of the bed.

  “How do you like it here?” he asks, brandishing a hand around the room. “Nice, yes?”

  “For a cage,” I mutter.

  “A cage?” He cocks his head to the side as though he’s surprised. “Do you not like your bed?”

  I stare down at the fluffy white comforter and heavy blanket. “It’s nice.”

  “And the size of the room?”

  “This room could be the size of a planet, and it’d still be a cage because I need permission to leave. I don’t like being locked up.”

  “It’s for your protection.”

  “Like I’m going to do anything to anyone.”

  He frowns. “The protection isn’t against you. It’s for you.”

  Now I’m the one to cock my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

  “The Sidyths in this building are very important. Even some of the lothids. Therefore, humans are extensions of themselves. Therefore, the humans are important as well. We cannot risk lowlifes being able to come in here and taste what is not theirs.” His expression darkens. “Believe it or not, not everyone can afford a service worker for cleaning or even for pleasure. And here is a free collection for anyone if not properly protected. Would you like any Sidyth to be able to come into your chamber for free pleasure?”

  “No!” The thought never occurred to me. “So, this, this really is for my protection?”

  “Of course.” He seems completely aghast. “I’m surprised you didn’t figure that out on your own. Exdrux told me that some of the lothids were saying bad things about you. He was quite upset about it. He knows how much I am taken with you already. He smelled your humiliation. Are you alright now?”

  “I’m fine.”

  This conversation keeps getting more and more confusing. I thought Exdrux didn’t care. I thought he said he only defended me because of Chimase. But Chimase is saying something else entirely.

  I think I know who’s story I believe.

  Chimase mistakes my silence for sadness.

  “You must not let their words bother you, Hollis. They are in heat. They want to mate, but they do not dare to try anything because of their low status. But they will have the courage to do something in secret. And that is another reason why most humans are down here. You are safest here. The doors lock at night. You will be safe. But you do not like it here, yes?” He presses his lips together, looking surprisingly boyish despite being seven feet tall and rocking shaved sides on his head.

  I sigh. “It’s just different. I miss Soh.”

  Chimase hisses.

  “Seriously, what is with you?” I can’t censor myself before the words fly out. But enough is enough. “What is your problem with Soh? He’s good to me. I like him. He likes me. And everything was fine until you and that woman crashed into my life. Literally! I don’t understand you.”

  “What would you like to understand?”

  I jerk my head up. “For one, I want to know why you were acting so strangely at the human hospital.”

  “Strangely?”

  “Strangely!” I squeak, growing exasperated as he resituates himself on the bed. He’s closer, and I can’t tell if I’m more excited or nervous about this. Either way, I make sure to keep my distance because I don’t like what this Sidyth does to my body. He makes me feel strange things. Things I only want to feel for Soh.

  “You must elaborate for me, Hollis,” he says, using my name properly again. “Perhaps there was a miscommunication due to the language.”

  “I speak and hear Sidese just fine, thank you. I know what I heard. I know what you said. And it was strange. I’m trying to figure out what your end game is. Did Soh’s family do something to yours? Is this all a plan to piss him off?”

  “Piss him off?”

  I shake my head. “Are you guys like vampires or something?”

  “Vampires? Hollis, what is this?”

  “Long story short. Are you so rich that you get bored?”

  “Is that a human problem?”

  “Maybe you’re like the families on Gossip Girl. You have so much money and nothing but time, so you’re petty to pass the time?”

  “That is nothing more than another reference I don’t quite understand, Hollis.”

  “Why the hell did you say Soh was lucky because I cared so much about him? What does that even mean? You almost sounded jealous.”

  Silence falls over the tiny room — an uncomfortable silence. I lift my head, still surprised at myself with the way I’m able to speak to Chimase. I shouldn’t be so brazen with him. Sidyths don’t like it, and I wouldn’t even talk or shout to Soh in this manner. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But with Chimase I feel like I’m safe to be myself around him. Or at least, safer. Now that he’s quiet, I take the time to openly appraise him again, desperately hoping that my first reaction to him was a mistake of some kind.

  Fuck me. It’s not.

  He still looks shockingly beautiful for an alien. Thick, streamlined muscles. His forearms are thick with scales around them that remind me of cuffs on a sports coat. And those piercings on his ears. Those are hot, too. I swallow hard, wishing my body wouldn’t react in this way to him, but I can’t help it. He looks only a few years older than me. He’s probably in his mid to late-twenties in human years.

  I can’t allow myself to become more drawn to him than I am already.

  Liking a Sidyth other than Soh will be nothing better than playing with fire.

  And, even though Soh gave me up (supposedly), I’m still not sure if I believe Chimase’s story.

  I square my jaw. “Seriousl
y, I don’t like being fucked with. Don’t say things to me that you don’t mean, okay? If you’re playing a game with Soh to piss him off, fine. But don’t drag me into it. I’ll stay here, and I’ll comply. When it’s time to see him, I’ll beg him to take me back so that I can get away from all this drama. But don’t say things like you said to me the other day.”

  “What did I say?”

  “First of all,” I bark over him, “it’s cruel to fuck with me just because I’m human. Second? It’s dangerous—”

  “What if I was not, as you say, fucking with you? What would you say to that?”

  My retort dies in my throat as I stare at him fully. As though taking him in for the first time. He’s still on the bed. He’s still close to me and hunched over slightly. I desperately try to remember that he’s still a male Sidyth and intimidating as hell even without a powerful family name. However, he seems vulnerable, too. Like he’s nervous about my response.

  Can anyone be so cruel? Is this for real?

  “You… you can’t,” I stammer. “I’m a… and you’re a…”

  He straightens suddenly and stands, taking a few steps to the head of the bed where I’m sitting. He stares down at me from his great height, eyes flicking everywhere. When his attention focuses, and he’s staring into my eyes, I look away. I still feel him looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his attention dip to my shirt, or rather, my breasts. His attention dips lower. Shit. Can he smell how turned on I am?

  What if he isn’t fucking with me? What the hell do I think about it?

  I don’t have an answer to that question!

  Soh. I need to think about Soh. Getting back to him. To Soh. Going to the only home I have now. Getting back to something familiar. Not being here in this cramped little room with an attractive, young Sidyth hanging over me and saying things that are practically considered illegal.

  A finger and thumb pinch my chin and pull my head upward.

  My eyes meet Chimase’s.

  “You didn’t answer my question. If I was serious, what would your complaint be, then? I am curious, Hollis.”

  If he was serious.

  I swear the air leaves my lungs as he continues to stare at me, crouching lower and lower. I can only pay attention to his mouth: full, thick lips and terrifying fangs lining each side. I shouldn’t even consider kissing this mouth. It’s not the same as Soh’s – not that we kissed that often. Soh always muttered about how it didn’t seem appropriate – whatever the fuck that meant. I’ll say, Chimase certainly doesn’t seem opposed to it.