Facing Us (Kids of the District #1)

by Nicci Harris

  “Duchess,” my voice softens, “I’m sorry. I should never talk like that, and if you want to go, then we’ll go.”

  She sniffs back a tear and glances down at her feet, shuffling them in the dirt. “He wrote you ‘earnt it,’” she whispers, her voice cracking with each word. “Like I earnt whatever prize he has for keeping you kidnapped, like I was his accomplice of something.”

  She peers up at me as a tear drops from the corner of her eye and glides slowly down her cheek.

  I wipe it away with the side of my finger. “He’s an arsehole, Duch. He wants to hurt you. He probably knows you blame yourself.”

  “I know,” she says sadly. “But it still makes me feel sick.”

  Sighing, I brush her hair back with my hand, her golden locks slip through my fingers like silk. I remind myself how lucky I am to have her, how lucky I am to touch her, and how incredibly lucky I am that every time I touch her, she moves into me, letting me know she wants me, too. Nothing else matters.

  “I love you, Duchess. You know that, right?” I say.

  She nods. “I just . . . I was hoping to feel some kind of family connection, anything. He is the only person I know who shares the same blood as me,” she mumbles, dropping her head back on the car.

  “I’m your family.” I pull her into my chest and hug her against me before peering over my shoulder and calling out, “Looks like we’re going back to The District.”

  TWENTY: Blesk

  I spent my life from the age of eight in a city called Connolly, which is part of four sister cities in a section of Western Australia, notoriously known as The District. It has a lot of corruption, and organised crime, and for this very reason, there is almost no petty criminal activity of any kind. It consists mainly of families—big, wealthy families. On the outside, The District appears to be the perfect place to raise children, with its excellent universities and clean streets.

  My parents are of humble origin within this prosperous area. I remained under the radar for most of my youth. While my brother went to Connolly High and quickly made a name for himself, I went to an all-girls school, Saint Martha’s, and stayed purposefully out of the spotlight. Konnor grew up in The District as well, but his family lived in the sister city, Brussman. Connolly, Brussman, Moorup and Stormy River make up this section of the countryside, and are all connected by a common river, Stormy River. I didn't think I'd be back so soon, but because my biological father's farm is on the outskirts of The District the nears town is Morrup, and that is where the locker is.

  When I place my hand on Konnor’s leg, he flashes me a sweet smile before turning back to concentrate on the road. It still surprises me that whenever we touch, I can feel the ripples of our feelings rush through my veins. A month ago, when he stepped up onto that stage, and everyone went wild, I knew he was special. He spoke eloquently and engagingly about the importance of education. His words have more significance now that I understand their deeper meaning. For over four years he was denied the right to an education, and now he is teaching others; he is enabling them. I am so proud of the person he has become. He walks the walk and talks the talk and is everything I could ever want in a friend and lover. My chest feels airy and my stomach is doing flips as I stare at his profile. I’m completely unable to screen the emotions filling me, because I know now that I am in love with him. Without him, I wouldn’t feel the way I do now—proud. I am proud of myself for the first time in my life. Facing my father took every ounce of strength I possess, but I did it.

  I didn’t run.

  One day I will tell him how I feel. One day I will thank him.

  Jaxon sighs from the backseat. “Ya know, my mum used to foster kids. After my dad left mum, she started filling her life with strangers and their kids. Like a damn hostel for the bohemian.”

  “Sorry, that sounds like it could have been hard,” I say, wondering why he decided to share this now and feeling guilty for not having something better than sorry to say.

  “I’m not trying to overshare or anything, but today kinda reminded me of growing up in that house.”

  “What happened?” Elise asks, her voice soft and cautious.

  “My mum became a parent to lots of needy kids. I’m not sure when, but at some point, that became everything she was, and we had a constant influx of people and kids through the house.”

  “You never told me that,” Konnor says, glancing into the rear-view mirror. I squeeze Konnor’s leg and try desperately to think of something to say.

  “I learned something about family then that kind of expanded its meaning for me. Because I was raised by so many people: my parent’s closest friend, and a revolving door of her boyfriends, and all those kids and random people from God only knows were. It’s not like I’m dark about that. My mum loves me, and I got to pick and choose whose advice I’d take.” He glances at me and his expression softens. “I’m getting off-track, but I’ve never been good at explaining things. What I’m trying to say is, family is based on behaviour, not blood. We are your family, Blesk, and you find loyalty is the strangest places.”

  I smile. “Thanks, Jaxon.”

  Elise feigns a snivel and says, “Who is this guy?”

  “You have all of us, Duch,” Konnor mutters, squeezing our fingers together. Then he coughs, “pussy,” jokingly under his breath.

  “Shut up, dickhead,” Jaxon says. “Right… I have this sudden urge to go hunting or do something else equally as manly, like boxing, maybe. Does anyone have any trash they need taking out?”

  Elise chuckles. “We still think you’re manly, Jaxon, no need to compensate.” She leans in and wraps her arms around the back of my headrest, smothering my face, and adds, “love you, Wally.”

  I pull her arms down below my head and say, “You go alright, my Delinquent Family.”

  Jaxon cracks up laughing, and slumps back into his seat. “Delinquent Family? Yeah, okay, I’m in.”

  As we roll over the Brussman Bridge, I’m overwhelmed by its grandeur and height. This city is thriving, rich in wealth, and… rich in gossip. I can see the streets of Moorup from above, streets that appear akin to veins pulsing through this living city. As we approach 45 South Street Moorup, we find ourselves rolling into the visitors parking for the Trans Moorup inter-district rail-line. Elise and I stay in the car while Jaxon and Konnor go inside to ask for assistance and look for the locker room. They are going to get the lay of the land and then come back to see us before actually approaching it. I highly doubt my father has managed to organise an ambush since speaking with me less than two hours ago. Nevertheless, we are all prickly with nervous energy. My fingers are finding anything to fidget with as we anxiously wait.

  This train station has several floors, with the inclined floors for bus transportation and parking, and the lower floors for trains. The locker could be on any level. Security at city stations of this size are usually second to none… or so I keep telling myself. The words from my father’s letter keep flashing in my head. I feel I’ve missed something. It is all yours… you’ve earnt it. What is all mine? The information? Money? Why would he give me anything if he wanted me dead? Why would he want me dead? Because I could testify against him? They didn’t need my testimony because he pleaded guilty. It is all nonsensical.

  Whenever my brain has a spot for anything other than my father or Konnor, it is filled with Erik. Lying in that hospital bed. My feelings are conflicting, my stomach aches for the little boy who held me in his arms while I cried at night, who went without sleep, who dragged me lifeless from a pool of my own blood, and still never blamed me for a second of his misery.

  But then my heart aches at the thought of what he did to me.

  I twist in my seat, peering back at Elise, words on the edge of my tongue.

  Elise breaks the silence. “What are you thinking about, Wally? You have that little dimpled brow thing happening.”

  Trying to relax my face, I reply, “What dimpled brow thing?”

  She chuckles and p
oints at my profile. “That one!”

  “Honestly? I was thinking about Erik.”

  Elise slumps into the upholstery and crosses her arms, tiling her head questioningly. “And?”

  “I just don’t understand. I just feel like there has to be an explanation, that he was sick, or on drugs or drunk, but it wasn’t him, and I know he loves me.”

  She takes an exaggerated breath in and out. “It’s hard to understand why anyone would put up with what you have, it really is. But then… Okay, so before I say this, please don’t think I agree with you, because I don’t. I don’t think he should ever be forgiven. But I just want you to know I’m actively trying to understand your stance on this subject. So, here I go.

  “The first time I met you, I thought Erik was your boyfriend because of the way he looked at you. It was pretty clear he adored you. He watched you move; he watched your mouth when you spoke. Then, when you said he was your brother I was like, wow, I wish I had a brother because he seriously loves you. I wish I had someone who adores me that much. Yes, I don’t deny he loves you. But even if he was drunk, even if he was on drugs, does that make what he did okay? You cried, Blesk. You cried while he forced himself on you. So, at what point is it not okay? One more chance, two more?”

  I listen to everything she says and try to absorb it. This event hurts just as much as every hit I’ve endured at the hand of my father. Contemplating a life without Erik is unfathomable, because he kept me sane, kept me safe.

  I am alive because of him.

  “One more chance? I’ll tell him it was wrong. I’ll stand up to him for the first time, ever. And I’ll tell him that Konnor and I are together,” I say and search her expression impatiently for approval.

  She pauses and then shakes her head, just once. My stomach aches.

  “No,” she states adamantly. “No chances. Do you want to know why? It isn’t for the reason you think. If Erik was willing to gain back your trust and never so much as look at you as more than his sister again, then I would say maybe and that it’s up to you. I’d say he can still be a part of your life, if that would make you happy. But I’m saying no. No chances. Not for you… but for Konnor.” Her voice breaks. “Because seeing what he saw that day must have really mess with his head. We both know going down there would have destroyed him. I mean, look at him today! He couldn’t even look at the prison. Which, mind you, is fair enough. I went crazy when I fractured both my legs and spent eight weeks inside with my nanny. Imagine four years. I don’t know how he isn’t more stuffed up. But that day he went down there, chasing after your cries, and then saw what he saw. You can’t put that sweet boy in the same room as Erik. You can’t ask Konnor to be okay with you being in the same room with Erik when he isn’t there. You mean so much to him. You just can’t ask that of him.”

  Everything she says has me barely holding myself together, because she’s so right; I can’t do that to Konnor. Whether I show it or not, he means more to me than life itself, and Erik and anyone else. If this decision is based on his happiness, then I’m in. Part of me feels sick for not seeing it that way to start with.

  Elise leans forward and touches my knee. “Stop, Wally, I know that look. Stop self-hating. There’s too much going on in your head, and you’ve faced some crazy hurdles today that most people couldn’t even comprehend. I think you should trust Konnor enough to talk to him about it too, because he’s reasonable and has your best interests at heart. But you need to attempt to make decisions that consider his feelings, too, because he will only think about yours. He needs some looking after as well. I worry about you, Wally, I do, but to be honest, I also know I don’t need to, because Konnor will love you and look out for you… if you let him.”

  I nod. “I’m going to love him and look out for him, too.”

  She beams at me. “Good to hear, because love you he does.”

  “Love him I do,” I whisper, the words sounding so nice to actually hear out loud.

  “Tell him you should,” she mutters knowingly.

  I jump when both car doors swing open, still immersed in the deep conversation I just had with Elise. Konnor moves in behind the wheel and Jax slumps down behind me, the energy in the car shifting as they glance hesitantly at one another.

  “What have you two done?” I ask, squinting at them.

  “Nothing.” Konnor chuckles evasively and flashes Jaxon a “busted” kind of look. “We haven’t done anything.”

  “Why are you both grinning at each other like that?” Elise probes.

  “We just got some stuff for you,” Jaxon says, and pulls a Pez out from his back pocket, handing it to Elise. “I got you the Daenerys Mother of Dragons, Pez style.” His lips curve up to the side as Elise’s eyes widen.

  And I’m completely missing something?

  She snatches it from him and holds it to her chest, exhaling slowly.

  “Explain?” I query, my eyes shifting around the car. Elise sinks into her chair with the Pez clutched tightly to her heart, a big dopey smile stretching from ear-to-ear.

  She melts into a sigh. “I told Jaxon and Konnor last time we went driving that I hadn’t been on a real road trip before. They were horrified. Anyway, now apparently Pez is one of the major staples of a road trip. But Jaxon couldn’t find any. I also told them about my two mums, who are both lawyers. Which, by the way, they seemed awkwardly eager to hear about,” she teases.

  I cock an eyebrow at Konnor. “Were they just?”

  “I don’t know what you are implying, Elise, but I object.” Konnor laughs.

  “Lawyer jokes,” Jaxon guffaws, taking on a pose to obstruct an incoming hand or fist from Elise.

  Elise hisses at them playfully. “Shut up you two delinquents... So, Jaxon and I had lunch a few days ago, and he dared to challenge my woman-power—”

  “Oh no, he didn’t,” Konnor cuts in. I crack up laughing as he twerks his finger and bobbles his head. His smile, his playfulness, his confidence… it is the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever seen, and I love it.

  I love him, and I love the look in his eyes, right now.

  Jaxon snorts. “I didn’t challenge your woman-power or whatever you just said, thank you. I just said growing up without a masculine presence would have been hard, and there is no wonder she is so…I dunno, little and quaint and shit.”

  “‘And shit!’” Konnor mocks. Then we all laugh, because Elise isn’t the least bit quaint.

  “He said no wonder I was so fragile and girly. He said fragile and girly. I said, having only mothers has made me way fiercer than if I’d grown up with a father. Women are crazy protective and extremely resilient. Women have been squashed for thousands of years and have only been given a real voice in the past fifty. I said, look at what we have accomplished in that time. I told him that he wouldn’t want to see me mad because I am fiery.”

  I exhale with realisation. “Ah, and so he got you a Mother of Dragons Pez. Aw, that’s kind of sweet.”

  She grins at me with a new look, a goofy, Elise-in-love look. “Yeah.”

  Konnor leans in and kisses my cheeks, running his lips quickly across to my chin, and then giving me a chaste peck on the mouth. He opens the car door and steps out, caution flashing in his eyes.

  “Don’t get upset okay? Just be happy,” Konnor says apprehensively, and leans down beside the tyre, winking at me as he fiddles around with something on the floor. As he rises again, he has a white cardboard cake box in his hand and a pleased smile fixed to his face. He moves inside the car and flashes a look at Jaxon, before putting the box into my eagerly outstretched arms.

  “This is from Jax, Elise, and me. We know that you missed out on a lot of birthday cakes over the years. And we wanted to rectify that. We got you twenty cupcakes, one for every birthday your real family missed, because we didn’t mean to miss them, and will never miss another one again”

  “This is such a Wallflower moment,” Elise says, with a grin.

  I stare at the box open-mouthed and wide-e
yed. This moment right now is the happiest of my entire life; this moment right now rivals every happy moment anyone has ever experienced. This moment means more to me than I could ever express, and these people—my family—mean more to me than I could ever show them. But I will try to start showing them how I love them.

  I don’t try to stop the tears, because this crying I like. This kind makes every other tear worth crying.

  “Thank you,” I say. “Thank you so much.”

  “What flavour are the cupcakes?” Elise asks.

  “All different, I think,” Konnor says. “We got them from this little bakery in the station.” I pass the cake box back to Elise, and she places it on the seat between her and Jaxon. Konnor leans in, pulling me over the centre console and onto his lap, engulfing me in his arms as I lose a few of those awesome tears, those happy tears, those tears of joy.

  “And now don’t get mad, Duch, please.” Konnor hands me an A4 yellow envelope, and my face immediately crumbles, squinting down at it. I slide from his lap and back into the seat beside him, unease stirring my belly. He looks nervous, which makes me nervous. My fingers wrap around the envelope, and I fake a grin while searching his guilty face, a grin that says, “This isn’t what I think it is, is it?”

  “Duchess, we didn’t go to the locker. We asked a security guard to go for us, and tipped him handsomely, might I add. He didn’t seem too fazed at all, and then returned with this. I know you are probably mad I didn’t discuss it with you first, but I’m just relieved it is done. So… that’s it.”

  “I’m not mad.” I crinkle the envelope in my hand and hold it to my stomach, my breath quickening. The first part of accepting my new friends, my new family, is to trust them and their decisions. “I’m freaked out, and I’m not happy you took a risk without discussing it with me first.”