by Bet Milner
Julia sighed. "I'm not gay."
Danni nodded and smiled. "Yeah it's cool. I get it. Let me drop you back and we can call it a night."
Julia sighed internally. She knew she had just hurt Danni and she regretted saying anything. She should have waited until tomorrow and claimed that she was too drunk to remember anything. This was awful. She walked over and hugged the blonde. "Please don’t disappear on me. I really love our friendship and I don't want this to be awkward."
Danni returned the hug. "Dude, it's cool. I'm not going anywhere. Come on. I'll take you home." The food was forgotten as they left the restaurant. Danni was disappointed but still drunk enough for the reality not to have hit her completely. The fact she'd kissed Julia Jones was in itself amazing and that the woman was worried about losing her friendship warmed her heart. She remembered what she'd told herself a few days ago. Better having her as a friend than not having her at all.
Danni woke up cringing as the memories of the previous night caught up to her. She had done this before. The amount of female friendships she'd ruined with a silly unrequited crush was phenomenal. She cursed herself for doing it to the one person who really, really mattered to her. She grabbed her phone off the night stand and wasn't surprised to see three messages from Julia. She prepared herself for the back lash and clicked open the first message.
J: Just wanted to say thank you again for an amazing evening. X
J: I imagine you are still sleeping. Is your head as bad as mine? X
J: Let me know if you want to do something when you're up. I make a pretty mean Thai green curry which has been known to cure even the most persistent of hangovers. Xx
Danni grinned. That was not what she was expecting at all. An invitation for dinner and zero reference to their faux pas. Her stomach growled in response to the message and she typed back.
D: Just woke up. Gonna need coffee and aspirin. Curry that cures hangovers? That sounds like my kind of deal. What time should I come over? Want me to bring anything? X
She waited with bated breath for the response and put the kettle on to boil to distract herself. Her phone pinged again.
J: Let's say around 5. I like to eat early when I can. Just bring yourself and whatever you feel like drinking. X
It was only midday and Danni wondered what she could do with herself for the rest of the day. She should really get in touch with that entertainment lawyer and have them look over the contract. The kettle boiled and she emptied the contents of one of the instant coffee sachets into the small hotel mug. She'd definitely missed breakfast and there was no way she could go until five before getting something in her stomach. Her thoughts turned to the burger she didn't get to eat last night and decided it was worth getting dressed for.
Julia had woken up bright and early with more of a moral hangover than an actual hangover. She could not get that kiss out of her mind. Danni's lips were so soft and her tongue moved perfectly against her own. Each time she tried to push the image from her mind, it came back stronger and made her tingle. She had never had a kiss like it. She justified to herself that it must have just been down to the newness of kissing a woman. It was titillating and didn't necessarily mean that she had sexual feelings towards the blonde. She tried to imagine kissing another woman, maybe one of her co-stars. The thought made her cringe. It was even worse than having to kiss Garth on screen and she was adamant that she certainly wasn't attracted to other women. But the thought of Danni's lips against her own again excited her. She blushed even thinking about such a thing. Last night had been one of those mistakes that can happen when one gets too close to another person after a lack of intimacy for such a long time. It wouldn't happen again and tonight she wanted to prove to Danni that they could be friends without things being awkward.
She was pleased that Danni had accepted the invitation but now she was panicking about having the woman alone in her apartment. She didn't trust herself not to dig deeper into this curiosity of hers and she did not want to ruin such a beautiful friendship. Danni Rose had only been in her life for a short time in reality, but she was the closest friend she'd had in years. She had an idea and hoped it was a good one.
✽ ✽ ✽
The doorbell rang and Julia went to answer it expectantly. She opened the door wearing her Oscar winning smile and ushered the guest in. "So glad you could make it! Come on in!"
"Thanks for inviting me. I must say, I was a little surprised to hear from you. I thought you'd be spending your time off in L.A. with Brent."
Julia smiled politely and handed a glass of wine to her guest. "Well Tania, I have been meaning to arrange something with you for quite a while now. I mean, we've been working together for so many years and yet, we hardly know anything about each other. I thought it was time to change that." She clinked glasses with her blonde co-star and hoped things would be less awkward as the evening progressed. She never had guests at her home and she never made much effort with other women on screen but Tania had always seemed like someone she could hang out with, although she was a little cool and aloof at times. She hoped Danni would be happy to meet some other people in New York too.
"So how are you? Have you been doing anything exciting lately?" Julia asked trying to build some ease and lessen the tension.
"Not particularly, other than my divorce. I'm sure you've heard the rumors already." Tania commented dryly.
Julia winced. "I had heard something but I'm not one for believing gossip. Looks like we have something in common."
Tania raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Does that have anything to do with Harley Simms?"
Julia laughed. "Well, Brent and I have an arrangement however, it hasn't really been much of an advantage on my part. It's so hard to keep things alive when you see each other once or twice a year."
Tania nodded. "This is the price of fame my sweet. And those arrangements never work out. Somebody always gets the harder end of the bargain and it's usually us women, wouldn't you say?"
"Agreed. It's nice to be able to talk to someone about this who understands." The doorbell rang again. "I have invited a friend over also. You may have heard of her. Danni Rose. She's a singer songwriter and is just getting her bearings here. I've taken her under my wing I suppose."
Tania grinned. "I have heard of her, yes. It's nice to do something low key for a change. Just us girls."
Julia opened the door and smiled brightly when she saw the blonde standing there with a huge plastic carrier rattling its contents. "Hi!"
"Hi." Danni grinned back and they both fumbled to give each other an awkward half-hug. Tania watched curiously. She had no idea why Julia was trying to make friends suddenly but the tension between these two women was sure to be entertaining enough for the evening and she honestly had nothing better to do.
"I brought red and white because I wasn't sure what you preferred and I got soda in case you were too..." She trailed off for a second as her eyes landed on Tania Watson, Julia's co-star, perched on a stool in the woman's kitchen staring predatorily at her. "...hungover. Hi." Her mouth went dry and her inner fangirl was screaming.
Julia took the bottles and placed them down on the countertop. "Danni, this is Tania, Tania, Danni. Would you like a glass of white?"
Danni awkwardly shook the woman's hand and felt quite embarrassed as images of certain fan fiction's she had read shipping Julia's character, Ashra, with Tania's character, Gwendal. It was called GwenAsh in the community and it was fem slash and extremely graphic. All those guilty pervy feelings she'd felt when she first met Julia came swarming back to her now and she was sure she was blushing profusely. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm erm, I'm a huge fan."
Julia stood back and watched feeling mixed emotions. She wasn't expecting Danni to act like a giddy school girl around her co-star and a part of her was quite annoyed that Tania had caused her to stutter and blush.
"Oh, no need to flatter me my sweet. We're just three talented ladies having some drinks and..." She sniffed the air sensually, "...T
hai food is it Julia? Trying to fatten me up so I don't fit into that blue body suit next week?"
Julia rolled her eyes. "Oh please! You have an amazing body and I've seen you eating the donuts at the onset buffet between takes."
Tania laughed. "Well luckily, I have an excellent metabolism. I can pretty much eat whatever I like and simply cannot gain weight."
Julia laughed. "See, those kind of comments are what leads to the rumors that you are a bitch."
"I thought you didn't listen to rumors."
"I still hear things."
Danni wasn't sure what was going on. They were either really good friends or had a very strange way of interacting with each other. She didn't particularly like it and she was starting to get the feeling that Tania was only here to act as a buffer for the evening so Danni didn't do anything stupid again. She imagined the co-stars having a good giggle at her expense over the silly little fangirl and her crush.
"Yes well then I suppose if the rumors are to be believed, we must have that as a common trait." Tania knew her reputation on set was not Miss Congeniality but then again, neither was Julia's. She'd often wondered if they'd get along.
Julia laughed and filled Tania and Danni's glasses again. "Touché. I guess I am a bit of a bitch on set too. I just don't stand for other people's crap. Danni, take a seat dear." She patted the stool next to her and Danni sat silently in the middle of the two women in a triangle formation.
Tania grinned. "Hmm, I'm regretting us not getting to know each other sooner Julia. Maybe the GwenAsh shippers got something right."
"The what?" Julia scowled. She had no idea what Tania had just said. Danni was the color of the merlot which was currently sat on the counter top and Tania laughed.
"Danni knows what I'm talking about, maybe she should explain it!"
Julia looked at Danni waiting to be let in on the secret. Danni shook her head. "I don't know what..."
Tania cut in. "And I don't believe you! There's no shame in it Danni. I've read a few myself and I have to admit, some of them are quite sexy, if you're into that kind of thing."
Danni couldn't hide the grin sneaking over her face now. The thought of Tania reading a femslash about herself and finding it sexy was pretty amusing. "Okay, fine! I may have googled it when the first Recoil movie aired. There was a lot of subtext open to interpretation and I was sure Ashra and Gwendal were gonna hook up." She felt relieved admitting it out loud and took a massive swig of her wine. She felt better knowing that Julia had no idea what they were referring to and that she obviously hadn't invited Tania over to rub something in her face. 'Thanks dude!' She thought to herself. Now she had the image of Julia rubbing something in Tania's face in her mind.
Julia's eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "You thought our characters were gay?"
"Well, technically yes. I mean you were an alien so it would be more complicated than that but not just me. I mean, there's a whole community out there dedicated to writing fan fiction about the two of you. How do you not know that?"
Julia was stunned. "But, Ashra has a love interest. Why would people think she was interested in Gwendal, no offence Tania!"
"None taken but have you honestly never considered our lines and screen time? When I got the script, I was sure that's where things were heading." Tania was quite amused. She had dabbled in her past and openly lived with another woman for six years before her most recent flop of a marriage. She could tell Danni was also no stranger to the feminine allure. She pinged so hard on her radar.
Julia thought about it and honestly couldn't recall any overtly gay scene between them. Tania sighed and continued, quoting some of her own lines from the movie.
"We may be from different worlds but we are the same. We feel the same emotions, experience the same pleasure..."
Julia laughed. "That was like a friend thing. When Gwendal wanted to stop the fighting between them."
Danni grinned remembering that scene. Gwendal had placed a hand over Ashra's heart and laced their fingers together. It was pretty gay.
"The fight scenes when Ashra says, I will come for you Gwendal and you will..."
Julia said her line. "You will not know whether to laugh or cry when I am finished with you. Ohh. Okay, that is a little subtexty."
"And all the scenes where Gwendal tries to convince Ashra that Davenport isn't good enough for her." Danni chimed in. This was awesome. She couldn't believe she was getting the opportunity to talk about this with the actual stars of the show.
"Wow! Honestly, I'd never thought about it before. I thought it was a beautiful tale of them learning to accept each other and going from enemies to friends. Now I think about it, if either of us had been male, those are the usual hooks that would signify sexual chemistry. Wow!" Julia was baffled that she'd managed to completely miss that before. She prided herself on knowing the back story and the motivations of her characters but she'd not picked up on the undertones. She face-palmed and shook her head now fully understanding the various GwenAsh questions at conventions. “Oh my God! I have totally missed the mark on panels! Why didn’t you ever tell me Tania?”
Tania laughed and Danni couldn’t help but giggle too. “I genuinely thought you were just playing dumb to avoid the questions. I only realized you were genuinely clueless at our last con when you responded to a girl’s question about our relationship potential deepening and you said we were almost like sisters.”
Julia blushed. “I am so embarrassed!” She thought about things more and was silent for a few moments before continuing.
"Why would they write it like that if they didn't intend to pursue the storyline?"
Danni laughed. "Queer baiting. Don't get me wrong. I love the movies but the writers seriously need to get a grip. Either commit to it or don’t bring it up at all."
Tania quirked an eyebrow. "I genuinely took the part because I thought that's where they were going. I assumed I would be playing a main character with a progressive storyline. In the end, I think there was some backlash and they scrapped the storyline in favor of Davenport. That's why I play it bitchier now. They're chicken shit of doing anything that will alienate the majority audience."
Julia nodded realizing that she'd had kept her eyes closed about so much for so long. She never really understood the Ashra Davenport connection. It had seemed to come from nowhere and she was quite upset now that a genuine lead up could clearly be seen between her and Tania's character but it was ignored because of societal norms. She herself was guilty of not seeing it.
"So would you be against playing a lesbian alien? Would you have taken the part of you'd thought about it earlier on?" Tania asked with a grin.
Julia thought about it. "No. I wouldn't have been against it at all. I think the connection was a beautiful one. I just assumed it was a friendship because that's what we are conditioned to believe. Would you have been against it?"
Tania laughed. "Not at all. I was hoping for a box office hit with a major LGBTQ storyline, not being sidelined to best friend."
Danni looked at Tania now with a sadness in her eyes. Oh how the woman had just summed up the story of her life.
Julia had a sudden realization and it panicked her. "I'm going to... I need to get the food out of the... won’t be a moment."
Julia stood in the kitchen staring at the oven. Why was she being so closed minded? She really liked Danni and had enjoyed their kiss. She couldn't stop thinking about it but her own inner prejudice was blocking her. She was more concerned with what other people would think than how she would feel. It had felt so right being with Danni last night and since their very first meeting they'd just clicked. She was a very attractive woman and there was no way she would be questioning her attraction to her if she were male. They had chemistry together and Julia felt she had truly messed things up. She was ready to go back out to the lounge and apologize to the woman properly when she heard giggling. She opened the door and saw Tania and Danni sat closely having a laughing about something on Tania's phone. "
Care to share the joke?" Julia drawled.
Tania and Danni blushed like naughty school girls being caught out doing something they shouldn't. "It's just some fan art. You probably won't like it."
Julia raised an eyebrow and snatched the phone from Tania. She stared at the image of herself super-imposed onto the body of a rather naked woman and whipping another woman's ass with Tania's head stuck on. She blushed. "Well that's... creative and completely inaccurate. My tits are nowhere near as perky as that! My God do people really have time to spare to do this?"
Tania and Danni laughed at Julia's surprising reaction. Tania had thought Julia would hit the roof as she came across as rather prissy at work and her no nudity clause was renowned in the industry for being iron clad. "Our fandom are nothing if not creative. But you're wrong. Your tits are better, aren't they Danni."
Danni blushed and stammered. "Uhm well yeah, of course... not that I've been looking at them. Not that I wouldn’t look I mean..."
Tania laughed at Danni stumbling over her words and the blush on Julia's cheeks. It was quite obvious to her that she was in the middle of something here and that she had been invited to play the middle man so to speak. It was a little annoying if she was honest as Danni was quite an attractive young woman and Tania had taken a shine to her. She could see how Julia was struggling with her attraction and that whatever she was feeling for Danni was something that made her uncomfortable. She wondered if maybe her job here was to seduce Danni away rather than act as council. Either way, she was leaving here tonight with at least the blonde's phone number.
"Danni honey, your gay is showing." She followed the statement with a little wink. "Julia darling, I have to ask, what were your intentions bringing two attractive bisexual women to your home, hmm?"
Julia laughed. "Tania, I honestly didn't remember that little fact about you. I just thought we might all get along. No ulterior motive."
Tania sipped her wine with a sparkle in her eye. "So you wouldn't mind if I asked Danni for her phone number?" She looked straight over at Danni to gauge her reaction.