by Bet Milner
16
Two Months Later
Danni was finishing off the harmonies on her newest song in the studio. She'd had no intention of releasing this song or of anyone ever hearing it for that matter, but her producer had walked in when she was playing it to herself and told her it was the hit they needed to jump start her career. She'd protested. It was too personal, too fresh and still hurt like hell. Plus there was no denying who the song was about and when she heard it, she'd never speak to her again. Not that they'd spoken much at all. There has been some messages here and there. She still liked some of her Instagram posts but it was all quite professional. No personal life was talked about. No mention of the wonderful week they'd spent together. Nothing.
Danni felt a tear slip down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away before Gary could see. He was playing back the almost finalized mix and it really was amazing. For a moment, she could almost forget what had inspired the song and pretend it was someone else's work or that she had no attachment to the words whatsoever. That is until Gary spoke.
"So I gotta ask, who is it about? Someone famous right?"
Danni laughed. "Gary, I already told you, there's only four people on the planet that know that information and that how it's gonna stay!"
"People are gonna ask Dan. You need to be prepared with an answer."
She huffed. "I know Gary. I will be."
She lost her train of thought as her phone buzzed in her pocket. She took it out to see who was texting her. It was just a notification. Wait...
She read the calendar notification and her heart stopped. She had forgotten all about that. Danni laughed to herself.
"What's so funny? Did you put something in my hair again?" Gary complained running a hand over his bald head.
"No! It's nothing. I just remembered, I have somewhere I need to be. Are we done here?"
"Sure. Take the rest of the day off. You deserve it kiddo!"
✽ ✽ ✽
"Nope."
"Oh come on Reese!"
"No freakin way!"
"Why the hell not?"
Reese glared at her clearly psychotic friend. "Have you lost your mind? Why the hell would you want to go there after all that shit?"
Danni huffed. "I think I need it. I need to put a lid on it and move forward. Besides, we're kind of friends now. It would be poetic."
Reese spluttered. "Poetic?! Give me a fucking break! Your music. That's poetic. That song. Poetic. This shit is just plain stupid!"
Danni rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll go on my own then."
17
Julia took to the stage as the crowd cheered and clapped loudly. She tried not to look too pointedly at the crowds just in case she did she her. It had been months since they'd seen each other. She had reached out a few times but the conversation felt stunted and as though they were both walking on egg shells. She knew she didn't deserve to be welcomed back into her life with open arms but she hoped they would work through it. Her eyes fell on a blonde in the third row and her heart stopped. It wasn't Danni. It never was. She'd paced up and down outside Starrdom Records on the days she thought Danni would be there but she never once caught another glimpse of the woman.
She smiled and began answering the questions from the crowds as best she could. They were the same as always. Safe subjects and some random GwenAsh ones she'd come to appreciate more. She responded enthusiastically as she caught Tania's eye who was sat next to her. "I think Ashra and Gwen would have made a cute couple if the producers had decided to go that way."
Cheers and wolf whistles went up from the crowd and Tania winked, proud that her friend was finally speaking up and seeing the truth. She added extending a hand to her unconventional friend. "I already told Julia, I'd totally be down for that scene."
The crowds screamed. No doubt this part of the con would be all over the internet before long. Julia had surprised herself after what had happened and reached out to Tania. She didn't think she'd want to sit in the same room as the woman after what had happened between her and Danni but it was obvious to her that there had been no harm intended and she couldn't blame the woman for finding Danni attractive. She hadn't exactly made her feelings clear and they had talked openly about everything. Julia hated what had happened but Tania had helped her to open up about the whole thing and after some screaming and crying, they took comfort in each other's company. Tania had made Julia laugh her ass off when she said,
"If it bothers you that much, I could fuck you too. Maybe if I'm your first, it will be easier when you finally work up the nerve to call her. At least you'll know what you're doing."
The idea was so ridiculous to Julia and she knew in that moment that Tania was just Tania. She meant no harm and was unapologetic about enjoying sex. She was an opportunist and took whatever was thrown her way. They began meeting up for drinks on a weekly basis after that and helped each other through their divorces.
The panel closed and the stars made their way to the autograph sessions. Julia signed various bits and pieces for fans and looked at the line of people still left to get through. It was huge as always and her hand was aching. She couldn't wait to finish up and get a drink. Being in Boston was making her jittery. The line moved down quicker than she expected and when she looked up again, there were only six people left. Her heart stopped. Her pen stopped. The fan in front of her was saying something but she didn't register it. The last person in line was Danni. She smiled and looked back at the fan. "What's your name dear?"
She quickly scribbled it down and moved on to the next person.
Five. Her mouth went dry and she tried hard to not write Danni's name on the photograph she was currently signing.
Four. Danni laughed. Why was she laughing? That's a good sign right?
Three. Julia had no idea what she was going to say to the woman she'd been desperate to see again. They were friends now. It would be fine, wouldn't it?
Two. "What's your name, Danni? I mean, dear?" What the fuck?! She blushed as Danni bit her lip. She heard that, didn't she?
One. "Hey."
"Hey yourself."
She cleared her throat. "Did you have something for me to sign?" What the hell are you saying Julia?
Danni blushed now. Actually, I do. I erm, wanted to give you the first copy of my single and... this is embarrassing... apologize for it." She placed the CD down on the table feeling like the biggest fool ever. She should have listened to Reese. She clearly couldn't breathe the same air as the woman without turning to jelly. She watched in fascination as Julia smoothed her fingers over the cover and pulled out the inlay. It was old school. Julia probably only downloaded mp3's nowadays. She just wanted to justify the song before she heard it from anyone else. She wanted to own it. "I erm, wrote it a few months ago and I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, so..."
Julia smiled at the title then full on laughed. Danni wasn't sure if she was being cruel or not. It was uncomfortable. Julia began scribbling down something and she handed it back to Danni saying, "It's a great title."
Danni looked down at her single confused. She wanted Julia to listen to it not sign it. She read what was written under the title.
Danni Rose: He won't love you like I do.
Good job I divorced the douche. X
Danni smiled. She had not been expecting that. Julia stood up from the table. And cracked her fingers. She pulled Danni into a hug. "It's good to see you Danni."
"You too."
"How about we get a drink?"
Tania looked over and smiled. She'd seen Danni come in earlier and she had to hand it to the woman, it was a smooth move. Very smooth indeed.
"This sort of feels like the first time we met, doesn't it?" Julia asked chirpily twisting the bourbon glass between her fingers.
"Yeah, I guess it does. Hotel bar in Boston. Bottle of Bourbon. Just this time it's you doing the gig and not me." Danni tipped back her drink and refilled her glass. She didn't know what she'd expected coming here. She was hoping fo
r closure and instead she found herself immediately being drawn in by the woman's enchantment. She was annoyed at herself but also quite relieved that the air between them seemed easy and breezy as it once had.
"You look good Danni. Amazing actually."
Danni looked up and tried to smile but she couldn't. It wasn't fair for Julia to talk like that.
"I'm sorry. I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"
Danni looked down. She didn't want to admit that she still harbored feelings for the woman. So what if she was divorced now? So what if she thought she looked good?
"I heard your answer to the GwenAsh question. I was surprised."
Julia smiled. "Tania and I are pretty good friends these days, Danni. I guess she helped me come to terms with some issues and I'm grateful for that. I just wish she'd been able to do it sooner."
Danni looked up into the eyes she'd been avoiding so far. "Really? You're friends?"
Julia sighed. "Yes, Danni. You fucked her. I fucked him. I think it's fair to say we both fucked up."
An eyebrow quirked and a hint of a smile pulled at the corner of her lips. They had to talk about it if they were going to be in each other's lives again. Julia really hoped that's why she came.
Danni couldn't help but smile. "You did like me, right? I didn't just imagine all that like some psycho fanatical stalker?" It sounded lame to her own ears.
Julia leant forward in the seat and put her elbows on her knees whilst gently touching Danni's. "Yes of course I did. I mean, I do. I was really shocked and confused and l... was an idiot."
Danni's body was pulsating from the fingers lightly touching her knee. She didn't think it would still be this strong. This magnetic pull that seemed to always point to her north star. "I do get it Julia. Believe me, I get it. I never meant to project my feelings onto you, but, like I admitted already, I'd had a crush on you for a long, long time."
Julia smiled. "Danni, I basically cyber-stalked you for three months before we even met. I liked you. I just didn't know I wanted to sleep with you until..." She broke off wondering if that was too much too soon.
"Until?" Danni asked hanging on every word.
"Until I had a dream about you one night before you came to New York."
Danni felt her heart quicken.
"When I kissed you, I knew what I was doing. I wanted it. I'd hoped for it. I just, hadn't admitted it to myself yet. After you left the cafe, I knew I'd made the biggest mistake of my life."
Danni scoffed. She didn't mean to.
"What? Spit it out!" Julia sassed. Whatever Danni had to say, it was better she got it off her chest now. Julia was going all in. This was it for her.
"Nothing no."
"Danni."
"It's just, if you thought you'd made a mistake, why did you go to that gala with him and look so happy on the red carpet?"
Julia dropped her head. "I went because I said I would and I may have looked happy but in case you've forgotten, I'm an actress dear."
Danni scowled, a technique she'd learnt from living with Reese. "Oh I haven't forgotten. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're acting now." She was so angry. She'd come here in control of herself and her emotions and here was this woman tearing her down again.
"You know what Danni, I didn't think it was going to be this difficult to tell you how I feel. I didn't think you would dismiss my words so easily." Julia was annoyed. She knew it was a risk that Danni had moved on and there was nothing left between them but she'd hoped, how she'd hoped when she saw her standing in line.
"Right, and we both know how you like to take the easy road." Danni hated herself in that moment.
Julia froze. "You really believe that?"
She waited.
"No, I don't. I'm sorry Julia. Look. I shouldn't have come here. I'm just gonna..."
"You're just gonna stay right where you are Danni Rose and be truthful for a moment because, as far as I can tell, the majority of what you've said so far has been nothing but half-truths and scathing comebacks. So tell me, why did you come here?"
Danni knew she was right. She deserved a real answer. "I came here because... well because I missed you, alright? There. Satisfied? I missed you so badly and I made up some shitty excuse to come here and see you again in person, not just some crappy photo or half-assed text message."
Julia smiled painfully. "I missed you. Every single day. I thought I had no right to make demands on you after the way we left things. I honestly thought you'd never want to see me again and those 'half-assed texts' as you so eloquently put it, were my feeble attempt at extending an olive branch." She pulled her chair around to be closer to Danni.
Danni caught her breath and muttered. "I don't want to be your friend Julia."
Julia laughed. "Well that's honest at least!" She put her arm around the blonde woman and a finger under her chin, turning her head. "Good. Because I don't want to be your friend either." She closed her eyes and ghosted a kiss against Danni's lips. She whispered, "I do however, want to be with you... if... you'll have me."
"Oh God, Julia. You have no idea what you do to me." Danni murmured against luscious lips. It felt so right to be pressed up against the brunette again. Even after so long, she couldn't deny that she hadn't been able to get over the woman.
Julia smiled gently and bit her lip as she sat back to take in the blonde's expression. "It took me a while to figure out but I think I have some idea, Danni. If it's anything like what you do to me." She couldn't resist and leaned in for another kiss. This time, she lingered, knowing her advance would be well received. Her tongue confidently darted out and met no resistance as it pushed hungrily inside the blonde's mouth. Danni pulled Julia closer, melting into her soft frame as their tongues danced a secret dance only the other knew. It felt like an eternity yet not long enough as the pair eventually broke for air.
"I'm so glad you came here today. I was worried I'd never see you again." Julia spoke shyly.
Danni grinned. "I doubt I could stay away from you for too long. I'm glad I came too." She rested a hand on the woman's cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. She had so many questions. She'd never considered herself the needy type but she could not bear the thought of losing the woman again. Not now. It felt so right and much too real.
Julia seemed to sense what Danni was asking and made the first move again. "I'm new to this, Danni. Do you want to try and see where this takes us?" She seemed unsure of her own words and a blush crept across her cheeks.
Danni nodded. "I really do, Julia. I know it's going to be tough with me going on tour and you on location but, I really want to be with you."
Julia hugged Danni tight. Her heart was singing. She hadn't felt this light for years. "I wish we could go to my room right now but I have to finish up here." She looked annoyed.
Danni stroked her cheek. "There's plenty of time for that Julia. No rush. What time are you done? Are you flying back out tonight?"
Julia shook her head. "I'm here for both days. My flight is tomorrow evening and then back to Washington for two weeks."
Danni nodded. She knew it was going to be difficult to date this woman properly. "I start my tour in two weeks’ time too." She looked apologetic then her expression turned into a grin. "Do you have any plans for dinner? I seem to remember promising you pizza."
Julia laughed. "I had forgotten about that. Pizza sounds good. Shall I come to your place?"
Danni felt embarrassed. "I erm, I'm kinda sharing with Reese. My room is the couch!"
Julia laughed. "I would love to meet her. How about this. You give me the address and I'll come over say around eight. We can order pizza, have some drinks and be sociable then..." her fingers crept up the lapel of Danni's shirt, "...you bring me back here."
Danni gulped. Her mind filled with all the possibilities of what being alone with Julia in a hotel room would entail. Her fantasies were coming to life and her heart was beating at such a pace, she wondered whether she could survive such an encounter. "Done." She cleared he
r throat and checked the time on her phone. "Come on. I think you have a photo session to get to and I paid good money for it! Did anyone ever tell you your rates are fucking extortionate?"
Julia laughed. "I have heard yes! You paid for a photo op?!"
"Yup so I better not be disappointed."
"Well then I guess I better make it count." She winked. "I have an outfit change. Wanna come help me?"
Danni's mouth went dry. "I'd love to but you have ten minutes to get ready and I don't wanna be on the receiving end of some angry fans."
Julia pouted. "Fine. I'll see you in a little while then." She leant down and placed a lingering kiss on the blonde's lips then grabbed the CD off the table.
Danni waved. She watched as Julia waltzed off out of sight and she whipped out her phone.
D: Hey. So... Julia and I are gonna try dating. Pizza night tonight. She wants to meet you. X
She knew after everything, Reese was going to be pissed. Her phone pinged.
R: What? How did that happen? Dan, you are setting yourself up for a fall.
D: Already fell a long time ago.
R: I know you idiot. Don't say I didn't warn you.
D: just, be nice okay? Give her a chance. X
R: Fine. But I ain't cleaning up your shit. Dude you're seriously gonna bring her here? The place is a tip.
Danni swore under her breath.
D: Please Reese... help a girl out here. Just this once. I'll make it worth your while. Xxx
She knew exactly what Reese wanted and she'd refused for months now. She swore again knowing she'd have to give in.
R: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
She reluctantly typed back.
D: Yeah... fuck! So you better ace it on the cleaning.