Feather From a Stranger

by Marianne Schlegelmilch

  Turning again to Doug, he continued. “There may be others involved, though, or his appearance today may just be an isolated coincidence—especially if he had no idea that Mara here was in Alaska. The fact that he ran when she recognized him, makes him suspect, I can tell you that. Anyway, both of you, Ellie and Mara, stay close to Doug, and we'll probably know more Monday after the feds get in touch with the officials in both Brazil and Peru.”

  “Any chance you can spare an officer to stay up at Ellie's place tonight?” Doug asked Ken.

  “I think that can be arranged for tonight, but I'm going to have to pull them off site during the day due to staffing issues,” Tandry responded. “What are you thinking, Doug?”

  “I'm supposed to meet Sassy at her place and take her to a dance tonight over in The Butte,” Doug answered. “Don't get me wrong. I could care less about the dance. The truth is, I was planning on breaking up with Sassy tonight, long before any of this came down. I want to let her down easy, make it as friendly as possible,” Doug said. “I don't want to switch plans and arouse suspicion either, especially if there's any way that she's involved.”

  “Do what you have to do and whatever you think's best Doug,” Ken answered. “I'll post a couple of officers up there till you get back. Doesn't sound like Sassy will find it odd that you're not bringing her back up here what with the break-up and all, so that may well work to our advantage.”

  Doug, Sarah, and Ken watched as two officers walked with Mara over to an unmarked car.

  “Sarah's already filled Ellie in,” Ken told Doug. “Ellie left to drop Anna off at her friend's house and should be back by the time Mara and the officers get there. Don't worry about Ellie, either. I've got an undercover man keeping an eye on her place tonight just to be safe. He'll be getting there about seven tonight.”

  “I appreciate it, Ken,” Doug said shaking his friend's hand.

  “Play it cool, Doug—you know, with Sassy tonight. Don't let on that this is anything that hasn't been coming for a while now. Sassy left the wedding to go home long before Brad Edwards showed up, and as far as anyone knows, no one knows what happened except you, Sarah, and me.

  The rest of the crowd out there were told that Mara had a medical condition and they dispersed pretty quickly once we had Mara out of there. Even if by some chance someone said something to Sassy, she would have no way of putting it together. As far as she is concerned, the man we now know as Brad Edwards is Steve Bitten.

  “Gotcha, Ken,” Doug answered. “I'll play it safe like my life—our lives… “he said looking at Mara, “like all our lives depend on it.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  The Dance

  “HI, BABY,” SASSY CALLED AS SHE FLOUNCED OUT OF HER HOUSE TO MEET Doug in the driveway. She was in an unusually happy mood, and Doug knew that meant that he would have no trouble keeping her busy on the dance floor this night.

  “You look pretty as ever,” Doug said, leaning down to kiss her lips lightly.

  “Come on, Dougy,” Sassy said, pulling him toward her for a lingering kiss. ‘What's wrong with you?”

  “I guess I'm just not in the mood to party tonight, Sassy,” Doug answered, pulling himself away from her. “But that's no reason we can't go to the dance now, is it?”

  He feigned a smile to make the words seem more convincing. “I can watch you dance with every other lucky guy in that room.”

  “Okay, Dougy,” Sassy said, with a playful scowl. “I'll have you all to myself later tonight.”

  Watching her dance, Doug thought about what had first attracted him to Sassy. She was an excellent dancer, beautiful both in body and in movement. He knew that with her by his side, he was the envy of many men. Their first year together had been filled with fun and passion, and even now, Sassy could arouse him with just a look. Lately, though, he had come to realize that his physical attraction to her was really all he felt for her.

  Dan's death had brought a sobering aspect to Doug's thinking. He realized how short life could be and how much quality mattered in a relationship. He had always thought of Dan and Ellie's love for each other as unique, thinking that something like they had was meant only for the lucky few. He finally realized that whatever he had with Sassy did not fall into that category. The relationship with Sassy had run its course. What he had come to realize was that he needed more than she could offer him.

  For weeks he had been thinking about the best way to break it off with Sassy in a way that wouldn't hurt her. Few others, beside himself, knew how much hurt she had sustained in life. He had long been aware of how, upon losing her mother to cancer when she was twelve, she had lived with her father, helping him raise Adam who was ten. She had told him how her father took to drinking and even remarried a woman he made them call ‘mom’, and how her father had beat his new wife when he was drunk.

  Sassy had never learned to like her new stepmother and she definitely had no respect for a woman who would tolerate the abuse her father or any man, for that matter, was heaping upon her. Right before her father died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound three years later, tired of witnessing the abuse, she had taken Adam and run away. Forging a life for them on the streets, she had pan-handled enough money to keep them in food, moving them from shelter to shelter to escape authorities, and even sleeping in a tent one entire summer.

  Eventually she began finding odd jobs where she was able to take her brother with her to work. When they had no place to stay, they would sometimes sleep in un-locked vehicles, once even getting lucky and finding a large RV in somebody's back yard, where they lived undetected for a whole month.

  All of this had made Sassy the strong and independent woman she was today. In spite of the outward appearance of coyness and naiveté, Amanda Carlson was nobody's fool.

  There had been a brief marriage at age eighteen to a rancher thirty years her senior, who died right after their first anniversary leaving her enough money to finish paying for the ranch and the horses. Her work with teaching riding and boarding horses kept her with an income and she easily held her reputation as one of the finest horsewomen in the Valley. She was fiercely independent, while at the same time intensely insecure. The result was a personality that seemed harsh on the outside and clingy with the very few she allowed to get close to her.

  In all of this, she pandered to her younger brother, Adam, mostly supporting him aside from the few jobs that she was able to secure for him. She turned a blind eye to the fact that, for whatever reason, he was unable to sustain most of them for more than a short time. If survival was Sassy's main motivator in life, then saving Adam was second. The two were emotionally inseparable, and the direction of Adam's life and pursuit of happiness were tantamount to Sassy's own life purpose.

  Doug knew that Sassy needed him to make herself feel desirable and beautiful. He knew that she didn't like it when she couldn't have any man she wanted. She had easily wrapped Doug around her little finger early on, having learned at a young age how to use her womanly powers to control a man. She often told him how she loved the free and frequent expression of their desire for each other. The situation with Doug had worked out better than she expected it would when she had first decided to set her sights on Dan Williams’ brother.

  Watching Sassy on the dance floor as she flipped between partners, Doug tried to hide the irritability he felt and keep the sullenness of his mood from showing. Sassy had not seemed to notice. As he sipped a drink at a table near the edge of the dance floor, Doug watched her immerse herself in the spirit of the evening. A couple of times she looked his way, which prompted him to force a smile and wink at her, knowing that he made her feel desirable in front of others. Just for him, she would dance a little harder and wink back.

  She had often told him that he made her feel special, and how she loved that he didn't try to control her like Steve Bitten had. It didn't matter, she told him, if he didn't love her back. As far as she was concerned, love was just another four-letter word and nothing like the romantics w
ould have you believe.

  The music had stopped as the band left for a break. It was no more than a minute before someone put a coin in the old jukebox in the corner, drawing a few old timers onto the dance floor, while the younger crowd headed to the restrooms and the bar.

  Sassy made her way through the crowd back to Doug. Standing behind his chair and wrapping her arms around his chest, she placed her mouth near his ear and whispered, “You look so serious tonight, Dougy.”

  “You look beautiful, Sassy,” Doug replied without looking up. “I'm the envy of every man here.”

  He turned his chair to face her and pulled her towards him, sitting her on his lap.

  “Sassy…”he began, “I think we need to go somewhere and talk.”

  “Okay, Dougy, “she answered. “Let me get my coat and say goodbye to some of the gang and I'll meet you by the door in a minute.”

  Doug watched her flit from table to table saying her goodbyes before putting on her coat and meeting him by the door. The dim sound of music followed them as they walked in the night air to Doug's truck.

  “Sassy,” he began, “we have been good together these last couple of years.”

  “Oh, Dougy,” Sassy giggled, “you're going to propose, aren't you? You're finally going to marry me!”

  “Stop it, Sassy,” Doug said evenly. “Listen to me. You're not making this any easier…”

  “Making what easier, Dougy?” Sassy said, pulling herself away to look him squarely in the eyes.

  “Sassy, I know you never stopped loving Steve Bitten and I know you contacted him as recently as a month or so ago, even though you knew he was engaged to Karen Steele.”

  “Doug Williams!” Sassy said emphatically. “I have not been unfaithful to you, if that's where this is going!”

  “Sassy. Listen to me. I know that you took up with me when it didn't work out with Steve. That's fine, Sassy. It's been good for me, too. But the point is that you still love Steve, and with me it is really just the sex and the security.” Doug paused before finishing. “You know that's true, Sassy, and so do I.”

  “It's more than that, Dougy,” Sassy said with words that did not match the truth he saw flash in her eyes. “We're perfect together. What is love anyway, but getting along, and making a life together, and turning each other on? We make a good couple, Dougy.”

  Doug took in her words. As she paced outside his truck, Sassy lit a cigarette, a habit that Doug despised. After taking several long drags from it, she stomped it into the ground and lit another.

  “Dougy,” she said in a tightly controlled voice. She pursed her lips and took a long draw on her cigarette, holding the smoke in her lungs before blowing it out the side of her mouth into the air above.

  “What can I do to make you happy? Whatever you need, I'll try to do it.” The tone in her voice rose with each sentence. “We have nearly two years under us. You gonna just throw that away?”

  Sassy threw the cigarette on the dirt right beside the last one and ground it out with the toe of her faux-jewel bedecked sandal as she stared at Doug Williams.

  “I don't love you, Sassy,” he said flatly. “The bottom line is that I think you are a good person, you are great in bed, and so beautiful, but the plain truth— and this is hard for me to say to you—but the plain truth is that I don't love you. As good as it's been, well, I need more, Sassy. I need to feel something deeper, more meaningful than what we've got.”

  “Is there someone else?” Sassy said, anger rising in her voice. “Is it that girl from Outside? You know, that Mara whose been stayin’ at your brother's place? I saw the way you looked at her.”

  Sassy's voice took on an accusatory tone, as Doug looked at her, not sure how to respond.

  “Sassy,” he continued. “I have never been unfaithful to you. It's just that since Dan died, I have been doing a lot of thinking and it's time to be honest with myself and think more about the future. I'm sorry to have to tell you all this, but it wouldn't be right for me to keep leading you on.”

  Sassy stood with her back to him as he continued. “I do not want to marry you, Sassy. You deserve to find a man who does, someone who will love you more than life itself. You deserve that and I can't give it to you. Don't hate me, Sassy. I wouldn't hurt you for the world. I know that special guy is out there somewhere. It's just that, well…it's just that it's not me.”

  “That's all right, Dougy,” Sassy said, straightening her stance and abruptly regaining her composure. She felt almost relieved that he finally was admitting the truth that she had known all along. “Sure, You're right. What we had was good while it lasted.”

  Doug watched her closely, seeing the protective wall come over her emotions.

  “Sassy?” he said.

  “Don't worry, Dougy,” Sassy interrupted him. “The truth is, there's a guy— he's right there inside—who I've been feeling kind of interested in. I'll be all right. No hard feelings.”

  Doug knew she was lying. Sassy kissed him lightly on the lips before walking back into the dance hall without turning back.

  “You can pick your things up in the morning, but not too early, okay?” she called over her shoulder.

  Doug watched the screen door to the dance hall slam shut behind her, as he sat for a moment wondering at how impersonal her response had been. Maybe he had made more of her feelings for him than there had actually been. Driving off, he thought how funny it was that something as intense as a committed relationship could end with so little emotion.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  A Brether's Scorn

  ELLIE WALKED INTO THE HOUSE TO FIND MARA NAPPING IN THE ROCKING chair with Thor curled at her feet. Startled, and wearing a look of panic, Mara jumped up. Thor took advantage of the disruption to bound out the door before the spring pulled it closed.

  “I'm sorry I scared you,” Ellie said. “Sarah told me everything. I can't think of a worse shock. Even losing my husband… I mean to lose the man you love is about as bad as it gets… but to have him turn up alive… Mara… I can't even imagine the shock…”

  “It's not your fault, Ellie. You and Sarah… you're as close to family as I have right now.”

  “Mara, she said—I can't even imagine this—Sarah said that your husband is our former business partner, Steve Bitten. I can't believe this is happening. How can this even be possible? You're a stranger to us…at least you were… and now they're saying that your husband, who has been dead for four years, ended up as the business partner of my husband, who is also now… dead. It's all just all totally unbelievable.”

  “I know, Ellie. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't trust me after all this. Since I arrived, nothing but bad luck has come to you and everyone around you. But, Ellie, it's as much a shock to me as it is to all of you. Please say you believe me.”

  Mara felt wracked with a confusing rush of fear and emotion.

  “There is no doubt in my mind, Mara. None. Please believe that. Maybe you were sent here just for that purpose, so that you could be near people who could help you stay strong through all this, and so you could help us in return. I love you, Mara. Sarah and Anna love you. You are where you are supposed to be, here for us, and we are here for you. I mean, look at Sarah, it took Dan dying to get her back to me and now she is so happy with Ken. You settle down. Together we are all going to get through this.”

  Mara threw her arms around Ellie in a heartfelt embrace. “Thank you, Ellie. Your words…they are such powerful words. I love all of you, too. I can't even imagine how life was before I knew all of you. And Doug, it's like he guided me here somehow. It's too weird to explain, but somehow he makes me feel safe.”

  “Mara, Doug's going to stay out in the bunkhouse to watch after both of us. Did I tell you that already? He's also going to help me with the business until I can get things under control again. Luckily, several of our pilot friends are going to take on Dan's obligations with the mushers and our other accounts, so we can basically just shut down for a few months to re-organ
ize.”

  “What about the other work around the homestead, Ellie?”

  “Ken Tandry and Sarah will be living only two miles beyond here up the road,” Ellie told her. “Somebody at the wedding heard them talking about Ken's apartment and, as it turns out, one of the other troopers has a house up there that he wants to sell so he can move closer into town. Apparently the guy is just getting through a divorce, and so he is going to let Ken and Sarah live in his house until they can make arrangements to buy it, and he is going to sub-let Ken's apartment. They promised to help where they could, and Ken will be driving by here every day on the way to work now, so he will be keeping a close eye on me. With Doug living in the bunkhouse and offering to help me out for a while, too, I think we should be okay. I'm also going to hire a hand to help me around here during the week—maybe come in and plow snow and do repairs and things like that.”

  “How about Anna?” Mara asked her.

  “You know by now that Anna is my heart and soul,” Ellie replied, smiling. “She has been so strong. Can you believe a five-year-old is holding her mother up like she has been doing? I can see so much of Dan in her.”

  “Mara,” Ellie said, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder, “you have been through the worst shock I can imagine—right up there with my own, but with an even more horrible twist, if that's even possible. I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you need to.”

  “I wouldn't impose on you, Ellie…”

  “There's no imposing going on, Mara. You need some time before you go back to work. Think about it.”

  Suddenly, Doug Williams appeared at the door.

  “You don't have much choice, Mara. You either, Ellie. Craig Pilson says you're going to need to stick around for the foreseeable future until he can get the investigation completed on Steve—I mean Brad—you know, your husband.”