Out of the Shade

by S. A. McAuley

  Living in New York he’d developed a swagger. Or maybe it was a wall, he wasn’t quite sure anymore. He’d come home because he needed to leave behind that version of himself and confront who he’d used to be. He could’ve pretended to ditch the baggage he carried, but he’d known that he needed to examine every facet of his life and discover what was worth keeping and what had to be tossed away for his own sanity.

  He wanted to be happy again.

  He wanted to smile and to experience that happiness even in the most mundane parts his day, instead of in erratic fits and bursts. Being with Jesse tonight was doing a damn good job of coaxing genuine contentment to the surface.

  They’d started off playing Call of Duty but when Jesse got up to grab a couple more beers, Chuck had found a copy of Just Dance in the stack of cases. When Jesse had returned he’d only had to wave the case, and before he’d had to challenge the man to a dance-off, Jesse had been putting the game into the system. Two songs into it, it was clear Jesse was going to kick his ass. For a big guy, Jesse could really move.

  And if that didn’t just send his libido into overdrive.

  Chuck climbed into the shower and pulled the curtain closed. He only lasted through cursory swipes of the soap across his chest and under his arms before he abandoned the bar and took his cock in his hand. He’d had a semi for hours now and his balls ached. He wasn’t sure if Jesse was ever going to make a move on him, but he was going to be shooting off in his sleep if he didn’t get off soon.

  It didn’t take him long to stroke himself to life. All he had to do was conjure the image of Jesse’s thick lips and black scruff working their way down his neck, Jesse’s tongue around the barbell in his nipple, following the line of tattoos down his left side to his cock, and Chuck stifled a moan as his release surged through him. He rested his head on the cool tile and let the water run down his back as he caught his breath.

  He could hear Jesse talking downstairs. It was only one side of a conversation, so he had to be on the phone. Jesse had a deep, rumbling voice and laugh. Booming. The reverberations of Jesse’s chuckle rolled through him, mixing with the last of the aftershocks.

  He quickly soaped up his hair and rinsed off, then shut off the shower. He wrapped the towel around his waist and glared at the pile of sweaty, discarded clothes on the floor. He didn’t want to put them back on, but he’d left his duffel bag in his truck at McLoughlin’s.

  That left him with three options as he could see it—one, go out naked, two, go out in a towel, or three, raid Jesse’s closet before he went back downstairs. Option number three was invasive and even if Jesse was okay with it, would probably leave Chuck looking like a teenager wrapped in miles of fabric. Jesse was just as tall as he was but easily had one hundred pounds on him. Option one was way too brazen for him. It was something the Charles of New York would’ve done, and he wasn’t that guy anymore.

  So he knotted the towel tighter at his hip and grabbed the pile of dirty clothes, hoping that Jesse had a washer he could throw them into.

  The first floor was quiet as he padded down the stairs. Jesse wasn’t on the phone anymore and the absence of even background noise made him think that Jesse must have turned off the TV. Maybe he’d even gone to bed while Chuck was in the bathroom.

  Then Chuck turned the corner into the living room and Jesse was on the couch, his eyes closed, head reclined on the black leather…naked. Completely and fuckibly naked.

  Chuck froze. He tried to swallow and couldn’t.

  Jesse lifted his head and gave Chuck a grin that left no question what he wanted to happen next.

  And yet, Chuck hesitated.

  The hitch to it all was that he really liked Jesse. He didn’t often feel like he could be himself with someone he’d just met. But he hadn’t been anyone else but the real Chuck all night and here Jesse was—his thighs spread wide and inviting, black hair curling on his arms and legs, his strong hands resting on the leather, and his long shaft well on its way to full attention—wanting him, Chuck Dunn. Jesse didn’t even know the hotshot Charles Dunnbradley whose photos graced the pages of every sports mag littering the coffee table.

  Chuck’s head spun from how quickly his desire for Jesse had taken over. Jesse riled his blood into a frenzy yet set him at ease. If he wasn’t so hard up, then maybe he would’ve wanted to take the time to get to know him. To find out if there was more than just an attraction there. But it had been months since his last one-night stand, and he wanted Jesse’s cock. He needed to taste Jesse’s sweat and get his hand around those heavy balls.

  So he dropped the clothes in his arms, lost the towel, and crossed the room in two wide, determined steps.

  Jesse gave a low chuckle and scooted back on the couch. “Get on top,” he rumbled.

  Chuck didn’t hesitate this time. He straddled Jesse’s thick thighs, chills passing over him from the tips of his ears to his toes when he pressed his chest against Jesse’s, stifling a moan as their lengths brushed together. He’d just gotten off, but the powerful body beneath him was enough to get him going again.

  “You have condoms?” he breathed into Jesse’s ear. Jesse shivered underneath him.

  “Fuck yes,” Jesse ground out.

  Chuck smiled as he kissed down the line of Jesse’s neck. Jesse sighed and slid his hands over Chuck’s ass, thrusting them together.

  “Then get that cock inside me, Beast.”

  Jesse’s responding laugh rumbled through Chuck, warming him and lighting up every nerve with the desperate need to be touched. Jesse grabbed the lube, slicked his fingers and slid his hand under Chuck’s balls. He circled the rim lazily, teasing, before pushing one finger inside.

  Chuck leaned back and stared intently at Jesse as he fucked back on Jesse’s finger, needing him to go deeper. Jesse’s teeth tugged at his lip, and his other hand wrapped around Chuck’s hip in a vise grip.

  “Come on, Jesse. I know how powerful those hands are.”

  Jesse slid another finger inside, pumping them slowly. “You saying I can do better?”

  “I’m saying you won’t break me,” Chuck rasped out. He licked his lips and clenched around Jesse’s fingers. “So fuck me like you mean it.”

  Jesse shifted the angle of his fingers, and pulses of electricity shot up Chuck’s spine. Chuck swore and leaned forward, bracing his palms on Jesse’s chest to keep himself up. Jesse’s fingers slammed into his ass over and over again, fucking him until Chuck’s legs shook and he felt every thrust of Jesse’s hand all the way to his toes.

  Chuck skated his hand down Jesse’s chest, and over his belly, then gripped the base of his own cock to hold back the pressure building steadily out of control. He desperately reached out for the bottle of lube.

  “You could make me come like this, Jesse. But I need you inside me.”

  He slicked Jesse’s cock and Jesse’s eyes fluttered shut with a low groan, his fingers slipping out and wrapping around Chuck’s ass instead. He dropped his head against the back of the couch, moaning, as Chuck worked him over.

  “So that’s how you tame the beast, huh?”

  Jesse side-eyed him with a smirk and let go of Chuck long enough to snatch the foil wrapper off the couch and hand it over to Chuck. Chuck ripped it open, slipping it on.

  Jesse’s cock pushed inside, filling and stretching him, but it was the heat and softness of Jesse’s lips that had Chuck digging his nails into Jesse’s skin, begging for more. Fuck. When had one simple kiss ever made him this hard? He opened for Jesse and Jesse’s tongue swept inside, tasting him, and consuming every thought Chuck had except for taking everything Jesse was giving him.

  Jesse’s palm slid up Chuck’s side, thumb teasing at the nipple with his barbell. Chuck moaned into Jesse’s mouth and kissed him harder. He fucked himself on Jesse’s cock, taking control and chasing the fevered, heady rush of Jesse lifting his hips to drive even deeper inside him.

  Chuck threw his head back as Jesse took his cock in hand, pumping him until Chuck moaned and
spilled over Jesse’s hand, painting Jesse’s belly with his come. Jesse slammed his hips up, burying himself in Chuck’s ass, his release shaking Chuck to the core.

  Chuck slumped forward and dropped his head onto Jesse’s shoulder, struggling to regain his breath. He hadn’t come that hard…ever. Jesse held the bottom of the condom, fingertips grazing over Chuck’s asshole and sending a fresh wave of shivers over his skin.

  When Jesse pulled out, Chuck rolled to the side and dropped to the couch, his legs still tangled with Jesse’s. Then he watched as Jesse swiped the cum off his chest with his boxers and chucked the tied off condom across the room in a bank shot that arced into the trashcan.

  Chuck laughed and Jesse smiled down at him.

  “Nothing broken?”

  Chuck shook his head. “Matt was wrong, though. It was you who owned my ass.”

  Jesse beamed and Chuck’s heart stuttered at the unguarded sight.

  Jesse swiped his shirt up and Chuck stopped him. “Don’t cover up that belly yet, it’s hot. And if I don’t have clothes, you don’t get to wear them either.”

  Jesse eyed the pile on the floor. “You want something of mine to wear? I’ll throw those in the wash for you.”

  Chuck’s heartbeat sped at that casually delivered offer. He’d always been the one to take care of Adalric. “I can handle it. Just point me in the right direction.”

  “Washer and dryer are through the kitchen, in the closet by the back door.”

  Chuck extracted himself from Jesse and got up on shaking legs. A quiet chuckle accompanied his lurching around the coffee table and Chuck glared over his shoulder at Jesse.

  “I have clean stuff in the laundry basket on the dryer if you want to grab something,” Jesse said. “Although, I’m cool with you stumbling around naked too.”

  “‘Cool’ being the operative word there,” Chuck responded as he picked up his clothes. “It’s almost November.”

  Chuck headed into the kitchen and heard steps behind him. He glanced back to find Jesse tracking across the living room in just his sweatpants, his shirt abandoned on the couch.

  “Can you let Precious in too when you’re back there?”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Jesse opened the freezer door. “There’s nothing better than Ben and Jerry’s after a great fuck.”

  Who the hell was this man? Five minutes ago they’d been in the heat of a rough fuck, now Jesse was offering to do his laundry and chasing his orgasm with ice cream.

  Chuck huffed out a laugh. “Grab two spoons then.”

  He opened the doors to the laundry closet and dropped his clothes in the washer, getting it started before he dug through the basket for something to wear. Despite his earlier worry that he’d be swallowed up by any of Jesse’s clothes, he found a Henley and basketball shorts that were both only one size bigger than his usual and pulled them on. No longer under threat of hypothermia, he reached over and flipped the bolt for the back door and barely had it open before Precious rushed inside. He rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and followed her into the kitchen.

  Jesse had his ass against the counter, leaning back—a spoon in one hand and a pint of ice cream in the other as his gaze raked over Chuck.

  Jesse pointed his spoon at Chuck. “Okay. Those tats are hot, but them peeking out of my shirt like that is even hotter.”

  Chuck grinned as he settled next to Jesse, his hip leaned against the counter. He surveyed the five ice cream canisters lined up. “You like having choices, huh?”

  “I like ice cream.”

  Chuck popped the top on the Vanilla Caramel Fudge pint. “You know, Kam told me that you and I would get along.”

  “He did, huh?”

  “Yeah. He said that you’re a foul-mouthed giant who lives for sports and competition, and that most people are terrified of you because of your size, but that’s only because they don’t know you’re a teddy bear.”

  Jesse dug his spoon into his pint. “Kam can fuck off.”

  “Doesn’t work on me, Jesse.” Chuck intercepted Jesse lifting the spoon to his mouth and brought it to his own lips instead. “I already know you’re a teddy bear.”

  Jesse scoffed and Chuck swallowed down Jesse’s ice cream around a grin.

  “So, what do you do at the boxing club?” Jesse asked as he dug in again.

  “Kam didn’t tell you?”

  Jesse shook his head. “He didn’t mention you until tonight.”

  “I’m documenting the progress of the kids. Hopefully helping Kam and them get more publicity, and more money.”

  Jesse scrunched his brows together. “Like a consultant doing an evaluation?”

  Chuck held back a derisive snort. That was a career his father would’ve seen as honorable—especially if it had been with one of the international business firms his father worked with on a daily basis. “I’m taking pictures of them. Building a visual story that can be used in reports and for public relations.”

  “So photography is your thing?”

  Chuck smirked. “Yeah.”

  “Speaking of Kam…. He called to check in on you. Said you weren’t answering the texts he sent.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That you were crashing at my place and that we’d drank and played video games.” Jesse shrugged. “A night like Kam and I normally have.”

  Chuck arched an eyebrow.

  “Normal until about thirty minutes ago,” Jesse admitted. “Does he know you’re gay?”

  They’d never had a direct conversation about it, but Chuck had mentioned an ex-boyfriend one day at the club and Kam hadn’t even flinched.

  Chuck nodded. “You?”

  “He doesn’t know I’ve hooked up with guys.” Jesse cleared his throat. He set aside his spoon and pint and crossed his arms. “Look. We didn’t talk about this before, but…. I’m hoping you’re okay with keeping this quiet. From everyone. Even Kam.”

  Chuck studied Jesse’s defensive posture and sighed. His post-orgasmic bubble had definitively popped. That request wasn’t a surprise because of how guarded Jesse had been up until Chuck had found him on the couch.

  He wasn’t completely okay with it, but, “I picked up that vibe from you. I’m not in the business of outing anyone who isn’t ready.”

  Jesse exhaled a long breath. “Thanks.”

  The relief in Jesse’s face made Chuck’s stomach churn.

  He’d felt more like himself on the field and playing video games with Jesse than he had in years. He’d never hit it off with any guy on every level so quickly—sports, banter, sex…. But none of that mattered.

  The reality of Jesse being closeted crashed into him like a tidal wave. There wasn’t a possibility of anything besides friendship with Jesse, no matter what kind of connection he felt.

  Shit.

  And two friends—even if they did occasionally fuck—didn’t moon at each other over post-sex tubs of ice cream.

  Chuck dropped his spoon into the sink with a clatter and started to turn away. “If the offer still stands, I’ll take your guest bed for a few hours while my clothes finish up, then I can go get my truck.”

  Jesse grabbed Chuck’s arm, pulling him to a stop. “Fuck the guest room. Come to bed with me.”

  Chuck met Jesse’s eyes and swallowed against the tightening of his throat.

  He could’ve made a biting, flippant comment about cuddling not being manly, but Jesse’s voice had softened and his grip on Chuck was gentle. As if this physically domineering man was frightened of asking for what he wanted and scared of being rejected….

  Not “as if.” Jesse was scared.

  Chuck took a deep breath. Jesse was a thirty-three-year-old man who wasn’t out to even his closest friend. He had to be carrying a lot of fear for that to be the case. That fear was something Chuck understood, even if it didn’t affect his life the same way anymore.

  He pushed away his doubt and stepped between Jesse’s legs, settling his palm on Jesse’s chest. J
esse’s heartbeat thundered under his fingertips.

  Jesse wasn’t asking for more than one night, but he also wasn’t pushing Chuck away. They got along well together and it wasn’t as if he had a group like the Kensington boys in the area. Or anywhere. He could use friends.

  He’d take this all one day, or night, at a time, and enjoy whatever happened while it lasted.

  He lifted his eyes to Jesse’s. “Naked?”

  Jesse’s lips curved into a smile. “If you want.”

  “Yeah, Jesse. I want.”

  “Then let’s go to bed.”

  Jesse struggled to open his eyes and figure out who had their warm mouth wrapped around his cock. Who had he brought home last night?

  The memories came slamming back—Chuck with a towel around his waist, hesitating just long enough for Jesse to wonder if he’d read him wrong, then his cock slamming home, Chuck riding him until the leather couch was slick with their sweat, Chuck’s cum was all over his chest, and Jesse was lost in the merciless grinding of Chuck’s ass on his shaft. Jesse hadn’t held any of himself back. He’d been brutal, punishing in his assault of Chuck’s body, and Chuck had taken it all with moans ripped from his throat.

  The sharp memory made him want to beg for more now. Faster. Deeper. To have Chuck touch his ass and fingerfuck him with the same roughness he’d taken Chuck. He fisted his hands in Chuck’s hair and thrust deeper into Chuck’s hot mouth. Fuck yes. No woman could suck cock the way a man could.

  Chuck opened his throat and took Jesse to the hilt. He cried out and leaned up, needing to watch Chuck’s mouth work so exquisitely up and down his cock. Then Chuck’s finger was at his entrance, light strokes. Teasing. A question.

  “Fuck me with it,” he begged, his voice raw and hoarse, and throat sore from too much drinking.