A Life Worth Living

by Louise Guy

  Nicola managed a wry smile. ‘That whack on the head has a lot to answer for. I’m worried that when you get your memory back, you’ll have a change of heart. Are you involved at all with the development project of Ben’s?’

  Peter had come into her office the previous day, his delight in her return quite overwhelming.

  It’d brought tears to Leah’s eyes, knowing how much Eve was respected. She’d spoken to him about the accident and how it’d changed her outlook on her life.

  Luckily for her, Eve’s boss was a man who put family in front of everything. He’d agreed to a trial of a reduced working week, even gave her the flexibility of deciding her own hours. He’d mentioned the development in South Melbourne that she’d been asked to consult on with Ben. Curt had been looking after the project in her absence and from all reports was doing a fantastic job. Leah had convinced him to leave the project with her co-worker.

  She’d said she would be happy to visit the site if required, but as she was reducing her hours, it made sense to hand over a big project like that.

  Peter had then spoken with Ben, who’d been fine with the change, although he’d sent her an email that afternoon saying if her memory returned and she’d like to work on the development, to be in touch.

  To Nicola however, she shook her head. ‘I’ve completely handed it over to Curt. I’m reducing my hours, and it makes sense to step aside from large projects. I don’t think Ben minded. The email he sent yesterday said to get back in touch if my memory returns.’

  Her sister’s best friend stared as if she was looking at a stranger. ‘I bet it did.’ She downed the rest of her drink in one gulp.

  16

  Leah sat in her car outside her parent’s house. She opened her handbag and retrieved the small black phone. Her lunch with Nicola had left her rattled. After she’d left Café Zee, she’d rung Kate and arranged for her to collect the girls from school before stopping at the office.

  She made up an excuse to why she needed to leave early, and collected the phone. She wanted to believe Eve wouldn’t have strayed, but Nicola had been so adamant and Sean’s reaction certainly confirmed it. She took a deep breath and switched it on. It had a password lock. She keyed in 1183, half hoping Eve’s standard password wouldn’t work this time.

  But it did.

  The screen opened showing fifteen missed calls.

  Leah opened the recent call history. Fifteen missed calls from one number. One name. Ben.

  She closed the phone and slipped it back into her bag. She’d seen enough. Even though she didn’t want to believe Eve was capable of an affair, there was enough evidence to suggest she had.

  Her own phone chimed. A text from Kate.

  Have picked up girls. Stopping at the park for a play.

  She quickly sent a message back telling them to have fun and stepped out of the car. She wanted the comfort of her mum. Leah wanted to tell her mum about the pregnancy and have at least one person be excited for her.

  The curtain flapped in the living room as she made her way towards the front door and she smiled. Her mother had always spied on visitors. The minute she heard a car in the driveway, she was at the curtain, thinking no one noticed.

  The front door opened.

  ‘Eve!’ Her mother’s arms were around her before she even had time to say hello.

  She sank into the comfort of the embrace.

  ‘What a lovely surprise.’ Her mother said, leading her inside. ‘Shouldn’t you be at work?’

  ‘I left a bit early. Kate’s picking up the twins from school so I thought I’d pop in and see you.’

  Her mother led her through to the kitchen. ‘Cuppa?’

  Leah nodded and sat down at the kitchen table while her mother switched on the kettle and organised some cups.

  ‘Where’s Dad?’

  Her mother gestured towards the back. ‘He’ll either be in the veggie garden or sitting on the ride on mower in the shed.’

  ‘Still sitting on the mower? Does he ever come inside?’

  She sighed. ‘Rarely. The garden seems to be the only place he’s at peace. I guess he and Leah had a connection there, and he feels close to her. He hasn’t been coping very well.’

  Tears pricked Leah’s eyes. Her poor dad. He hadn’t shared a close bond with Eve. She’d always been very dismissive of their parents. They were too old and out-dated to be of use, she’d often said. Although, she’d been quite happy to leave her daughters with them on weekends when it suited her.

  Mum sat a steaming cup in front of her. ‘Green tea with a squeeze of lemon. Exactly how you like it.’

  She smiled through her tears. This was probably not the time to ask for a cup of tea with sugar.

  Her mother sat across from her. ‘So, what brings you here this afternoon?’

  ‘Do I have to have a reason?’

  Her mother’s eyes widened. She reached across the table and patted her hand. ‘Hon, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you’ve ever dropped in without calling first. Did you need me to look after the girls for you? You know we’re always happy to do that. We love having them.’

  Leah shook her head. ‘No, it’s not that. I’ve got some news and I’m hoping you’ll be more excited for me than Sean or Nicola have been.’

  ‘Go on.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘I’m pregnant.’

  Her mum’s mouth dropped open. ‘Really? Are you sure?’

  ‘One hundred percent sure.’

  Her mother pushed her chair back from the table and stood. She walked across and shut the window that opened out onto the backyard.

  ‘Why’re you shutting that?’ Leah asked.

  ‘In case your father isn’t in the shed. I’d prefer he didn’t hear the rest of our conversation.’

  ‘I thought he’d be happy. In fact, I hoped you would be, too.’

  She whirled back to face her. ‘Of course I’m happy. I’m delighted. Another grandchild. With Leah gone, I’d assumed Ava and Harry were going to be it. It’s not that, and you know it.’

  She swallowed at her mother’s piercing stare.

  Her eyes were full of questions.

  ‘You know exactly why I’m concerned. Don’t you?’

  Surely her mother couldn’t know about the affair?

  ‘How did Sean take the news?’

  Her hand trembled reaching for her tea. ‘He stormed out last night and didn’t come home.’

  Her mother’s smile was mixed with compassion and concern. ‘He knows.’

  ‘That I’m pregnant?’

  ‘Oh, come on, Eve. I warned you months ago you were playing with fire. That he’d find out and it would ruin your marriage. To walk out on you like that suggests to me, he’s aware of what’s been going on.’

  Heat rushed to her face. Her mother did know. She couldn’t believe Eve had told her mother, but not her.

  ‘I’m trying not to be judgmental. But you’ve created this mess, and now you’ll have to deal with the fallout.’

  ‘The baby could be Sean’s.’

  ‘Really?’ Her mother was silent for a moment, digesting this news. ‘That’s excellent. You’ll need to prove it to him. They can do those DNA tests these days. You might even be able to find out while you’re pregnant.’

  A DNA test was hardly going to smooth things over with Sean. It would open a completely different can of worms. His reaction certainly made sense if he knew of the affair, but what Leah couldn’t work out was why he hadn’t mentioned it, and why he’d wanted to take her to bed.

  ‘Are you going to tell the other man?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Assuming Sean knows about the affair, it’s probably the end of our marriage.’

  The marriage that had only just begun for Leah. Over the last few weeks, Sean had started off distant but it hadn’t taken long for him to relax around her. He’d kissed her, attempted to be intimate—which would’ve happened if not for the twins interruptin
g.

  Why would he do all that if he knew about the affair?

  Leah shook her head. ‘But, I’m really hoping he doesn’t know and his reaction was due to something else.’ Even as the words left Leah’s lips she knew the likelihood of them being true was very slim.

  Her mother gave her a wry smile. ‘I hope so love, I really do hope so.’

  Sean shivered as the cold breeze from the ocean ripped through him. He pulled his knees up to his chest, shifting to find a more comfortable position on the rock he’d chosen.

  He hadn’t been down to the beach since he’d brought his daughters last summer. He rubbed his chin, the roughness of yesterday’s stubble confirming his decision to ring in sick today had been the right one. He looked like shit.

  He shook his head. He still didn’t understand how she’d been able to deliver the pregnancy news so calmly, as if she’d actually expected he might be happy.

  All the pregnancy did was confirm his suspicions Eve had been having an affair.

  She’d cheated on him.

  Sean’s mind drifted to the place it’d been many times in the months leading up to the accident. Considering the guys his wife worked with, the mutual acquaintances they both knew. Men Eve could be having an affair with. Who else knew? Was he a laughingstock amongst their friends?

  No doubt Nicola thought the whole thing was hilarious. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if she’d introduced Eve to the guy in the first place.

  Anger surged through him, thinking back to the lies she’d told. She’d been able to look him in the eye and deny having an affair.

  He should’ve done more when he first suspected. Had her followed. He wouldn’t be going through this pain now if he had. He would’ve left her ages ago.

  Sean rested his head on his knees, a huge weight on top of him. He thought of the girls and what this meant for them.

  Two homes. Divorced parents.

  He’d never wanted this. He’d tried to make allowances for Eve. Tried to understand that she needed her space, but this?

  From the woman who’d only a few years back said if she fell pregnant again she’d terminate it in a flash. Declared she’d never go through what she did with the twins again. If he wanted a son, he was going to have to adopt and raise it himself.

  The same woman who’d gazed at him adoringly last night and told him she was pregnant. Pregnant with a child they both knew couldn’t be his.

  He shook his head. Nothing made sense.

  The afternoon passed slowly for Leah. Not even the girls or their constant babble were enough to distract her from her swirling thoughts.

  Dread settled in the pit of her stomach while she went through the motions of helping the twins with their homework. She couldn’t begin to plan what she’d say to Sean.

  How did she admit to, or deny an affair she had no knowledge of? She had enough evidence now to know it certainly had taken place. She had no idea what Eve would’ve done in this situation. Then again, her sister wasn’t pregnant and probably never intended to be.

  Leah’s mind was a jumble when her phone chimed with a text message. It was from Sean.

  At mum and dad’s. Had a few drinks. Will be home tomorrow night.

  ‘Who was that, Mummy?’ Ava asked.

  She looked up at the twins, who were both waiting for her to speak. She smiled. ‘Daddy. He won’t be back until tomorrow night. He was letting us know, and…’ She put an arm around each of them and drew them close. ‘…he wanted me to give you both this.’

  They hugged her back.

  Harriet was the first to pull away, declaring it time to get on with their work. They wrote their spelling words in sentences.

  She was relieved. She couldn’t handle talking to Sean tonight. It was all too overwhelming. Leah needed to get it straight in her head before she even considered talking to him. She’d been given twenty-four hours’ reprieve.

  The next evening, Sean pushed the front door open a little before six. He’d contemplated staying out until his daughters were in bed but had changed his mind. He wanted to see them.

  A small smile crept onto his lips as he heard Harriet’s scream from the floor above followed by the twins collapsing with shrieks of laughter.

  The crash that followed silenced them momentarily before Harriet bellowed, ‘Lewis!’

  That cat was a source of constant entertainment and the centre of many disasters.

  It still amazed him that Eve had decided to adopt Lewis, and that she hadn’t threatened to get rid of him yet.

  Breaking into his thoughts, she appeared from the kitchen.

  She stopped, her face colouring when she saw him. ‘Are you okay?’

  Sean stared. She was genuinely concerned. Worried about him even. He shook his head. More likely, Eve was worried about the consequences. She’d cheated on him. And he was now certain he knew who it was with.

  ‘Mummy,’ the shriek caused them both to look upstairs. ‘Mummy!’

  Eve dropped her gaze and hurried up the steps.

  Sean remained rooted to the spot.

  Harriet’s high-pitched voice was telling Eve how naughty Lewis was. That he’d broken the lamp, and his daughter asked if they could still keep him.

  His wife’s laughter and reassurance left him shaking his head again. He needed a drink.

  He moved into the kitchen. He was hit by the smell of freshly baked bread as he made his way to the fridge.

  Sean’s stomach growled, reminding him he’d survived all day on coffee. Kate’s bread was always amazing. He grabbed a Corona, twisted off the cap and took a long swig. He was going to need a few of these tonight. He sat on the kitchen bench and waited.

  Leah told the twins to clean up for dinner while she collected the broken pieces from the lamp Lewis had pushed over. Luckily, it’d broken into five large pieces rather than shattering everywhere.

  She smiled, remembering the girls’ faces transforming from anxiety to delight when she’d confirmed Lewis, whilst certainly in trouble, would be allowed to stay. She still saw signs of anxiety, particularly from Ava, but was relieved it seemed to be less and less often. They’d settled into a comfortable routine but now and then, at times like this, the child’s insecurities and concerns rose to the surface.

  Leah put the last bits of the lamp into an empty box she’d used to clean up and called for the girls. ‘Come on, dinner’s ready, and I think Daddy might even be downstairs somewhere.’ She swallowed. Sean.

  He’d looked terrible. He was dressed in the old jumper and track pants he’d been wearing the night he’d stormed out, so presumably he hadn’t been to work.

  Had he been with his parents all day? Had he told them?

  The more she thought about the situation and his reaction the more it was obvious he must know about the affair.

  Damn Eve. Why had she gone and messed with a marriage that was so good? What was Leah supposed to say? Did she apologise? Admit to the affair? Did she deny it completely? If he and Eve hadn’t been sleeping together then denying it certainly wouldn’t help the situation.

  ‘Are you okay, Mummy?’ Ava was staring up at her.

  She reached out and ruffled her hair. ‘Of course, I was thinking, that’s all.’

  ‘You seem sad,’ the little girl said. Her eyes filled with tears. ‘You’re not having second thoughts about Lewis, are you? It was an accident. He didn’t mean to break your lamp. I can buy a new one with the money I saved. I have at least thirty dollars. Would that be enough?’

  ‘Aves, I love Lewis. Of course, he’s not going to be sent away. I’ll never send him away, no matter what he does. Okay? I promise.’

  ‘Good, but why are you so sad? Were you thinking of Aunty Leah?’

  ‘For a moment I was.’ She could hardly tell Ava the truth.

  ‘Do you think she would’ve been mad with Lewis?’

  Leah shook her head and placed an arm around the small girl. ‘No, she loved everything about him. Even his craziness and habit of bre
aking things. She would’ve said Oh, Lewis, then probably given him a cat treat.’

  ‘Oh yes,’ Ava said. ‘You’re right. We should probably get him one too.’

  She laughed and called for Harriet. She kept an arm around Ava and walked her to the top of the stairs. ‘I’m not sure I want to reward him, but we can certainly fuss over him a bit later. Now come on, it’s time to eat.’

  The twins proved an easy distraction at dinner. Both gabbed on about their days, filling Sean in on what they hadn’t already told him.

  The bread disappeared quickly, each of them dipping it into the rich minestrone soup Leah had made earlier.

  ‘You’ve eaten five pieces already, Daddy,’ Harriet said as he reached for another slice.

  He grinned. ‘I know, I can’t stop. Kate’s bread is the best bread in the universe.’

  Harriet giggled. ‘You mean, our bread. Kate didn’t come this afternoon.’

  Sean’s eyes locked with Leah’s. ‘Didn’t come?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, I’m finishing early now on Monday, Thursday and Fridays. So I picked the girls up, and we came home and made the bread.’

  ‘Have you reduced Kate’s hours?’

  Leah hesitated. The look on Sean’s face shouted she should’ve spoken to him first. ‘Not officially. I told her things had changed a little since the accident, and you and I needed to discuss how we move forward.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ he muttered.

  She ignored him. ‘I don’t think we need her on the days I’m only working school hours.’

  ‘I doubt she’ll agree to only working two days a week.’ Sean’s eyes flashed with anger.

  Leah took a deep breath. ‘Why don’t we chat about it later, once the girls are in bed. I know they have lots of news about their day to share with us.’