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The Ravana Clan Vampires: a Young Adult Paranormal Romance (Complete Series)

Page 37

by E. M. Moore


  She pointed down to the other end of the table where Shannon sat. Behind her, Evan was making his way toward us. “We’ve been calling you. Did you see us sitting down there?”

  I shook my head. “Sorry. Preoccupied, I guess.”

  Gesturing with her head back toward the other end of the table, she asked, “Why don’t you come sit with us?”

  Part of me knew that acting as if nothing had happened would be smart, but the other part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and think of nothing else other than what I’d lost. Shannon gave me a quick wave, and by this time, Evan had sat next to her, his eyes assessing. I stood, dragging my tray to sit next to Liv and sat down, my limbs hanging and lulling around as if I was sluggish. I’d wasted so much energy already today thinking and talking. By the time breakfast was over, I’d probably need a nap, not another round of calisthenics.

  I pushed my tray away and scratched my head before pulling my hand through my hair. My hair tie was around my wrist so I took it and bundled my hair at the base of my neck for something to do.

  “You seem on edge,” Shannon said. She looked me up and down, a small frown tugging at her lips. I owed Shannon a lot. She was the first one to speak to me when I’d come here. The one who’d reached out to befriend me when no one else had. The least I could do was talk to her.

  “Rough weekend,” I ventured, trying to smile, but it wilted from my face immediately. There was literally nothing humorous about what had happened at the Ravanas.

  “We heard about the guard up at the estate. Were you there?”

  I nodded, my mind slow to think of a response. What a nightmare that had been. I’d gone from picking out rooms with the princes, sharing pieces of myself with Connor and Stephan and then reality set in again like a resounding smack to the face. Who were we to get ahead of ourselves? Who were we to think we were special? “In the flesh,” I said, picking up my fork and moving food around on my tray.

  I peeked up, but immediately lowered my gaze again. They were all looking at me as if I had information they wanted. I didn’t know what else I could share with them. It happened. It sucked. But ridiculously, that hadn’t been the part of the evening that was the worst blow. At least not for me.

  “This whole new law about guard and vampire relationships being strictly forbidden is bullshit,” Shannon said, taking the pressure off me to speak. She twisted her red hair behind her and threw it behind her shoulder. “Who the hell do they think they are?”

  I looked up. Shannon’s eyes were hard, but Liv’s were glowing. “You’re just pissed because you’ll never get to live out your fantasy. Which one is it again that you want?”

  Shannon fanned herself. I recognized the gleam in her eye from the few times I’d truly felt it. Lust, pure and insurmountable. “Nicolai.”

  “Nicolai?” I blurted out, my thoughts shaken. Jealousy pricked at my skin. My fingers tensed around my fork. My Nicolai…

  Shannon smirked. “You too, huh?” She gave me a wink, and I briefly thought about punching her in that eye so she forever lost the ability to wink again. She didn’t know me. She had no idea what my feelings were for Nic. It wasn’t just because he was a handsome specimen of a man. He had a deep soul. A relaxing smoothness to him that outsiders didn’t get to witness. Sure, he was every bit the Dark, Sexy & Badass bit, but he was the protective shield. The one who took action when things needed done. He was…

  “Oh no,” Evan said, staring at me. “Not you, too.”

  “Hate to break it to you, Evan, but I can’t name one female guard in this place that wouldn’t like a little piece of the Ravanas.” Liv shoved a forkful of egg into her mouth and then waggled her eyebrows.

  “There're some guys, too,” Shannon said, smiling and nodding.

  Had I been living under a rock? I certainly wasn’t immune to the Ravanas’ charms, but everyone else, too? I looked from Shannon to Liv and wanted to wipe the dreamy smile from their faces. They were mine. All of them.

  “Maybe I should be happy about this strict rule then,” Evan said, staring at me. “Might give some of us who aren’t genetically manipulated an actual chance.”

  At the very exterior, I knew it was a joke. But the more it banged around in my head, there was no way I could let him get away with it. “Happy?” I asked. “Are you kidding? This law shouldn’t make you happy, it should make you angry.” I stood, my hands clenching into fists and blood pumping. A thousand different things were running through my head, but as soon as I thought them, I dismissed every last one. Each word that bubbled to the surface could’ve been construed as my having feelings for them and there was no way I wanted anyone to catch on to that. Guards sure as hell weren’t second-class citizens. We should be allowed to be with whoever we wanted.

  Yeah? And why did I think that? My brain challenged. Was it just because I wanted to be with my vampire princes or was it because it truly wasn’t right? Was I being selfish or a radical thinker?

  Liv put a hand on my arm. “Calm down, Ariana. Evan was just joking.”

  My whole body locked up. Without saying another word, I swung my leg around the bench and stalked off. Talking about this with them wasn’t going to do any good. I was like a piece of tissue paper. Quick to rip and entirely too easy to see right through.

  20

  Instead of just heading right out to the lawn to start our morning run, I ran to my room. Slamming the door behind me, I looked around at the few objects strewed around until I found it. My phone.

  It sat on the dresser just as innocently as it had when Nicolai left it for me. Now, it was like a beacon reminding me of what I couldn’t have. I hadn’t dared turn it on since I left their estate. What if they were trying to contact me? I told Isabelle to keep them away from me, but the thought of them sending me messages wasn’t the worst thought. The worst thought was the one that came right after. What if they hadn’t tried to contact me? As if I was old news being thrown in the recycle bin. I never thought I was a needy person. In fact, I’d prided myself on being the exact opposite, but that was only because I never had something I needed in my life.

  Sure, I could contact them if I wanted. But the same old fears kept popping up. What if they didn’t answer? Realistically, I knew that if they didn’t, it was because they were just trying to play a part. However, what if we had to play it so long, they just forgot? Or they just didn’t care anymore? What if I was too much work? They not only had to bring me into this world, but now I couldn’t even be with them. We couldn’t share our feelings, we couldn’t feel or touch to know the truth. The memory of Nicolai’s hands on me brought me to my knees. He’d wanted me. Hell, he’d even told me what he wanted to do to me. What if he found someone else to take the ache away?

  I clenched my teeth and screamed out in frustration. I should’ve punched Shannon for even putting those thoughts in my head. I scrambled forward for my phone, bringing it to my chest. All the answers were right there in front of me, all I had to do was turn it on. My fingers trembled, my heart skittered away into a beating frenzy. Then there was that niggle. That idea in the back of my head. The one I’d focused on when I told Isabelle to keep them away from me. Even something so innocent such as a text or phone call would be evidence against us. What was all that relief worth if my mind was wiped and sent away from them for good?

  Absolutely nothing.

  I pried the back off the phone and then took the battery out. I threw the three pieces into my closet and jumped to my feet, moving toward the door again. You don’t have a phone, I told myself. You don’t have any way to contact them. Train. Graduate. Change the law.

  That was it. That was all I had to do. With everything I’d had to endure, the heartache and the loneliness, I sure as hell could show the princes how tough I was when it came to this. Train. Graduate. Change the law.

  I was back outside a minute after everyone else. I caught up with the back of the running crowd. Samuel inclined his head toward me, and I did the same. He’d been noticeably ab
sent the couple days I was here when barely anyone else was around. I wished I’d had enough guts to pick his brain on the drive back to The Fort. His sister was on the side of the Ravanas, but what about him? He was gruff around the edges, but he worked with guards day in and day out. He had to have some opinion on the law that was just passed down. In fact, I’d be surprised if he was for it.

  My toe caught on a fallen tree branch, and I stumbled forward. I shook my head, chastising myself. I really needed to pay attention to what I was doing and not think. Uncomfortable in the back of the pack, I picked up the pace. I was used to finishing our three miles first or very close to it. I started to pass people, my legs working harder to move up. Bits of conversation made their way to me as I passed groups jogging next to one another. There was some speculation on who was going to teach the normal vamp-human politics class since it was usually Natalie Rajyvik. With her new baby, everyone was sure it wouldn’t be her, but they didn’t know who would be taking her place. Of course, there were a lot of people talking about the Council meeting and the new law too. I tried to run faster passed them, but one group caught me. I heard someone say, “There she is,” and then in the next instant another voice called my name.

  I slowed down and looked over. I knew their names as Shelby and Rick, but I’d never spoken to them before. Never had a reason to. “Yeah?”

  “You were at the Council meeting, right?” Shelby asked, her lips a thin line.

  I nodded, a small knot starting in my side since I wasn’t breathing properly. This was why conversation wasn’t necessary when running. There were too many things to concentrate on if you wanted to do it well.

  Rick sneered. “It’s bullshit, isn’t it? I heard the vamps got scared because Royce Michaelson offed himself because of his relationship with a guard. As if every vampire is going to kill themselves if they spend time with us.”

  I had to agree with him. That was one of the first reactions I had.

  “It must’ve been awful to be there,” Shelby said, true sympathy showing through.

  “Yeah, you’re in a room full of vamps and then they decree you can only have business relationships with them. As if we have an epic case of cooties they can catch.”

  A smile pulled at my lips. This Rick guy was pretty funny even though it was masquerading as anger. “Yes,” I said sarcastically. “I particularly enjoyed the part where they asked the Ravanas why they went out of their way to save my life.”

  Shelby’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding?”

  I shook my head and Rick cursed. “Don’t know why I’m surprised,” he said, his voice hard, the amusement already strained from it. “I bet that made you feel all sorts of awesome inside.” He jogged closer to me and lowered his voice. “You know, if you ever want to talk to someone about your true feelings…” He looked around, his gaze appraising, steady, yet alert at the same time. “…you can talk to us. There are more than a few of us who think this is all bullshit. Actually, to tell the truth, we’d be more than happy to have you come in and tell us exactly what happened. There’s—”

  “Stuart,” Samuel barked out.

  I jumped away from Rick and searched for the tall, foreboding instructor. He stood off to the side, beckoning me over with his hand. I gave Rick a shrug and jogged over, running in place as I stayed next to him. When I got there, he stared off at the pack. I followed his gaze as it stopped on Shelby and Rick. “You’re smart, Stuart, so I’m just going to leave it at this. There is more than one way to make change, and you certainly don’t want to get mixed up in the wrong way. You follow me?”

  I nodded. Abstractly, yes, I followed him completely, but why he had brought me over right then, that I was clueless about. Though, my gut was telling me it was about Shelby and Rick and whoever these people were who wanted to hear my side of the story.

  “Get back out there and show me what you can do,” he said, grabbing my arm just above my elbow and moving me forward. “I want to see the back of your shirt when you cross that finish line first.”

  With his words, I sped up again. We had one more lap left around the perimeter. With the time I’d taken to talk to Shelby and Rick coupled with my late start, I had a lot of ground to make up. His words propelled me forward though. I didn’t know where Samuel stood, but I did know that he held all the cards when it came to my placement in the field. In hopes that we could get the stupid law overturned, I needed to be close to my princes in order to make it worthwhile. An overturned law without the princes would mean nothing to me.

  Even as I thought it, the wrongness of that statement twisted my gut. It wasn’t just about me. It was about all of them. Whatever Rick and Shelby were invested in, it was about them too, and everyone else who didn’t like being made to feel less than. It wasn’t even about loving who you wanted to, it was about being free to do the things you wanted and not wondering who was looking over your shoulder. If I wanted to call Connor, I could call Connor without asking myself if I was going to get in trouble doing it. If Shannon wanted to call Nic…

  No. That wasn’t going to happen. Law or no law, she could back the hell off.

  The frustration and anger bubbling inside me did wonders for my stride. I pushed harder as if I was physically breaking down barriers. Maybe if I showed everyone how awesome guards were, if I proved how indispensable we were to them, they would start taking us seriously. Without us, who knew what would happen? There’d been a fight for power before, and there could be one again. An uprising with a bunch of vamps that didn’t know how to protect themselves would be a slaughter. It would become a race to who could arm themselves faster and nothing to do with what was right or wrong.

  My breath labored from my lungs. I thought about how I’d torn my phone apart and threw the pieces into the closet. I didn’t just do that because I was pissed. I did it for a reason. I did it because I wanted to show everyone I was strong enough to handle anything put in my way. No Ravanas? No problem. Stupid law? We’ll see. We’ll see what a little perseverance and determination could do for it. If the guards really wanted change, maybe we shouldn’t wait for the vampires to come to their senses, maybe we should start rallying for our own rights. Isn’t that how everything changed in the human world? It wasn’t until the people who had been wronged began to speak up that things changed.

  Right now, the vampire elite were a bunch of Nazi-vamps. I’d only wished I’d been there to hear the final determination. It would be nice to know what exactly we were up against. Did the law pass by a landslide? Or was it more of a wet snowball rolling down-hill quickly picking up momentum until it was big and almost insurmountable?

  So, the vamps were scared. What could we do to show them there was nothing to be scared of? That would be a hard thing to do without coming clean about everything going on. Without throwing in their faces that people had already defied the laws and done whatever they wanted, anyway. In any case, I was finally coming to the conclusion that I needed to be more proactive. Sure, the Ravanas had the power, but what about us? Couldn’t we become the mouthpiece?

  With that thought, I propelled toward the finish line and threw myself over, landing in the grass as if I’d just sprinted all out. In reality, I guessed I had. My heart beat like mad in my chest. My breath came out in short gasps. I stared up at the protective mesh above me and smiled. It wasn’t until Samuel walked by that I realized I’d finished first. In that moment, it hadn’t really mattered. I’d given it my all.

  “That a girl,” Samuel said, then continued by.

  I hoisted myself up and followed after. Train. Graduate. Change the law.

  21

  When I walked into the gym after our run, I almost took a step back. T.J. stood at the front of the room twirling a wooden stake in his hand. His dirt blond hair with hints of platinum streaks gleamed in the artificial lighting. It stuck to his forehead while moved the stake around like a ninja. He made the dangerous movements into an art form, sometimes throwing the stake up in the air and catching i
t as it arced down at exactly the right time. Sometimes making big, sweeping movements disguised in beautiful dance-like poses that were really just kill shots.

  Students streamed around me on either side, and it was only then that T.J. looked up. He caught my eye and winked. “Ariana, hey. How’s it going?”

  He spurred my feet to move. I walked up to him cautiously even though he wasn’t twisting around the stake anymore. “What are you doing here?”

  He smiled, but it wasn’t as big as some of the ones I’d seen him use. He shrugged. “Samuel asked me to step in for stake class. I thought, hey, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

  I frowned at that. He did have something better to do. Last I knew, he was keeping the Ravana Estate safe from the rogue vamps.

  I glanced down. He’d trapped the stake between two fingers, moving it from his pinky all the way back to his thumb and around again like I’d seen kids do back in high school with a pencil. “You’re pretty good at that,” I said, loving the fact that we were going to get a human guard up in here to show us some stuff. Not only that, but T.J. had real skill. I’d been out on a mission with him before and witnessed it in the flesh.

  He gave me a wink. “Wait until you get done with this class; the stake will be like an extension of your arm.”

  I liked the sound of that. My fingers itched to touch it, to be as badass, yet graceful at the same time, as he was while wielding it.

  T.J. stepped back and told everyone to move to the front and take a seat on the mats. He gave a brief introduction of himself including telling everyone he was a retired guard at twenty-nine. Though my mouth dropped at that, it didn’t faze anyone else in the class like it was old news to them. He’d been the youngest I’d heard of retiring. In retrospect, I’d understood that retiring at upper-twenties and thirties made sense in the vampire world. If thirty-five was a ripe age for them, I could imagine they wanted what they would deem young, fit guards. But realistically, it was amazing they even had enough guards to cover every vampire family.

 

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