Search Me

by Katie Ashley

  “Thanks,” Maddox said, taking the key.

  “Night sweet thing,” West teased.

  “Night,” I murmured.

  “Dickhead,” Maddox called over his shoulder as he pulled me to the kitchen. I stumbled a little as we weaved our way through the boxes and equipment. Besides the dizziness, it felt like someone was stabbing me between the eyes with an ice pick. The moment we got outside I sighed with relief. I gulped in the fresh air not tainted with cigarette smoke.

  “Come on. Just a little further,” he said, nudging me to the right.

  When he came to a stop, I lifted my head and gazed up the flight of stairs. They seemed to spiral to infinity and beyond. Thoughts of climbing them made the brass band beating in my head even worse. “I can’t make it up there,” I whined.

  “You don’t have to.” Maddox then took my arm and slung it over his shoulder. He then stooped over and cuffed one arm under my knees. In one swooping motion, he swept me off my feet. My eyes widened in horror. “You’re going to carry me?”

  “You said you couldn’t make it.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t mean for you to do this. This is so embarrasking,” I moaned.

  “Embarrasking?” Maddox questioned with a snort.

  “You know what I mean,” I slurred. The alcohol seemed to be having an even greater effect on me.

  “Yeah, well, regardless of how you say it, I would’ve rather you thought it was romantic,” Maddox mumbled.

  When I glanced up, I caught the flicker of his wounded expression before he hardened his face. “Aw, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize you were tryin’ to be romantic.”

  Maddox rolled his eyes. “All right, you better hold on tight. I’d hate to drop your helpless ass on the steps.”

  With a squeak, I brought my other arm around his neck and clasped my hands together. Our faces were mere inches apart, and the intoxicating mixture of his woodsy smell and tequila invaded my inebriated senses. “You’re soooo strong, Maddox.”

  When I glanced up at him, he huffed out a frustrated breath. “I can’t believe you got drunk off your ass. Literally.”

  I hiccupped. “Yeah, well, you…you shouldn’t have told that guy—” I peered up at Maddox. “What’s Sebastian’s real name again?”

  Amusement twinkled in Maddox’s eyes. “You mean West.”

  “That’s right. West. You shouldn’t have told West I wouldn’t drink. I hate it when you undermine me…I mean, underestimate me. You’ve done that shit since we were kids.”

  “Yeah, well, the first shot of tequila proved me wrong, Princess. The last two were out of emotion—anger and frustration mainly.”

  “Yeah and whose fault was that?” The exertion of arguing, coupled with the mention of my consumption of four shots of Patron, sent my stomach churning and lurching. “Oh God. Don’t ever talk about alcohol again,” I groaned as we reached the landing.

  “Can you stand on your own?” Maddox asked.

  “I think so.”

  Maddox gently eased me down onto the concrete. As my legs wobbled, I clung to his neck for dear life to keep on my feet. “Whoa, hang on now,” he urged.

  In my drunken state, I couldn’t help the shivers of excitement that ran up and down my spine at the feeling of being plastered against his hard chest and abs. Being held tight in his arms had a dizzying effect. I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to him, inhaling his shirt.

  Tensing, Maddox said, “Lane, I gotta get the door open.”

  “But I like it here,” I murmured drowsily.

  He sighed. “Come on. We need to get inside so you can lie down.” While I kept my head against his chest, he shifted me to the left. “Let’s try this.” He leaned me up against the wall, keeping one palm splayed against my abdomen to steady me. He then unlocked the door and swung it open. His hand then left my abdomen to wrap around my waist. He led me slowly inside.

  We both gazed around the room, taking in its peeling wallpaper, tiny kitchenette, and straight back chairs. It looked like something out of a bad 70’s TV show.

  “Ah, a single bed.” A teasing grin gleamed on Maddox’s face. “That should be nice and cozy.”

  And that’s when I puked.

  All over Maddox.

  My eyelids fluttered as I struggled back into consciousness. The smell of smoke mixed with sour milk filled my nostrils. I realized I was face down a ratty mattress. I moved, and pain shot through my arms and legs. Pitch darkness enveloped me except for a tiny beam of light coming through the cracked bathroom door. From the sound of running water, I assumed Maddox was showering.

  Groaning, I rolled over in the bed. The small exertion caused my head to spin even more. Cool air hitting my legs made me realize I was absent my jeans. A quick hand swipe over my bare abdomen revealed I was also without a shirt. “What the…” A mixture of white-hot anger and embarrassment coursed through me. Maddox had stripped me while I was passed out. Just when I thought the gentleman in him was overtaking the asshole, he proved me wrong.

  I whirled out of bed, which sent the room tilting and spinning around me. As I brought my hand to my forehead to still the maddening twirling, the events of the evening came crashing over me so hard I shuddered. Each and every word Maddox had said to me played like a movie reel in my mind. Oh.My.God. Maddox had come clean with me. He had cared for me all those years ago, and he still cared for me.

  And instead of telling him I still loved him, I’d gotten drunk…and then I’d puked on him. Bile rose in my throat, and I raced as best I could across the small trek to the bathroom. I didn’t want to see more of Maddox than I needed to, but I had no choice. As I started to make a beeline for the toilet, a low groan came from inside the shower, and my horror of puking again quickly vanished.

  From behind the flimsy excuse for a shower curtain, every chiseled feature of Maddox’s naked body was on display. But instead of scrubbing off the sweat and grime of the day, his soapy hand had a much more definitive purpose. It slid up and down over his straining hard-on.

  Even though every fiber of my being told me to get the hell out of there, I stood frozen to the spot, mesmerized by his body’s reactions to what he was doing to himself. With his other hand braced above his head on the grimy tile, he pressed his head against his muscular, tattooed bicep. His face was curved toward me, but thankfully his eyes were pinched shut in ecstasy. Tiny pants and grunts emitted from his lips.

  My heartbeat thundered in my chest while a slow, steady burn filled my lower half as I watched what he was doing. “Oh God,” I moaned in a whisper before I could stop myself. Beads of sweat popped and crackled over my skin, and it wasn’t from the hot, steamy water. Wetness filled my panties while my nipples hardened beneath my bra.

  But then a moment of clarity broke through my lust haze. I realized I was nothing more than a Peeping Tom getting a thrill from watching Maddox pleasure himself, so I spun around, ready to run out of the bathroom. And then a low, throaty growl of a word caused me to freeze.

  “Lane.”

  My hand froze on the doorknob while my already frantic breaths kicked up a notch into full on panting. Shit, had he caught me? Turning slowly back around, my hungry gaze honed in on him again. Thankfully, his eyes were still pinched shut. “Oh fuck yes, Lane,” he murmured as his hand began pumping faster and harder. His words caused a dizzying flurry to fill my mind, and I had to reach out for the sink to brace myself or I might have slid to floor. Maddox was fantasizing about me…Maddox was calling out to me.

  Without another thought, I reached over and snatched back the shower curtain. Maddox jumped so hard that he whirled around, and his back slammed against the other side of the tile. His tanned features paled at the sight of me while his eyebrows shot into his hairline. “What the—”

  I didn’t give him a chance to question why the hell I was standing before him in my underwear watching him. Instead, I stepped into the shower, not even stopping to take off my bra and panties. His eyes, hazy with both surprise and unfulfilled l
ust, drank in my appearance. Soaked to the bone within a few seconds, I stood only a few inches from him. The heat radiated off his body and scorched against mine. A thousand unsaid thoughts and emotions whirled through my mind at what to say. But instead of saying anything, I reached over to tentatively wrap my fingers around his straining erection.

  Maddox’s dark eyes widened. “Lane…”

  “You called out my name,” I whispered.

  He grimaced. “Yeah…I, uh, well, we were practically humping out there on the dance floor earlier tonight. Then it kinda got to me seeing you in your bra and panties when I stripped you.”

  I cocked my head to the side while squeezing him a little tighter in my hand. “So I was just the most convenient image you could think of to jerk-off to?” I countered.

  Maddox’s chest rose and fell both at my ministrations and my question. “No,” he murmured.

  “Then why?”

  His body shuddered when I stilled my movements. His dark eyes drilled into me. “Even though I shouldn’t and even though it’s wrong, I want you.”

  My heartbeat thumped wildly at his admission. “Then take me.”

  Tightening his jaw, Maddox shook his head. “I can’t. Not with all this life and death shit hanging around us.”

  I shot him a scathing look. “So you’d rather jerk off in a soap scum infested shower than have sex with me?”

  “I just don’t want to hurt you again.”

  Inching closer to him, I said, “I’ll let you know if you’re too rough.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he growled.

  He tensed when I slid an arm around his neck. “The only way you could ever hurt me again was if you ran away, and the way I look at it now, we’re both on the run.”

  “This isn’t something to joke about, Lane.”

  I sighed. “Fine then. It doesn’t change how I feel.”

  “You still want me?” he asked incredulously.

  “Mmm, hmm.” Picking up my pace, I asked, “And no matter what your mind and heart are telling you, I can tell how much your body wants me, right?”

  “Yes,” he replied in an almost agonized groan.

  I brought my lips to where they hovered over his ear. “And you loved me once.”

  He jerked back to stare at me with wide eyes. “Even with all the tequila, you remember what I said on the dance floor?”

  “Let’s just say it all kinda came back to me.” I smiled up at him. “When it comes down to it, you’ve always been the one, Maddox. Since I was fourteen years old, there’s never been another guy for me, and there never will be.”

  A hesitant grin played on Maddox’s lips. “So you still love me?”

  Cocking my head at him, I asked, “Now who is being stupid?”

  He laughed. “I love you, Lane.”

  “And I love you, Maddox.”

  When he finally brought his lips to mine, every molecule in my body exploded, and I shuddered. I fought the urge to pinch myself to make sure this was all real, and I wasn’t having some late alcohol-induced hallucination. But then when Maddox’s warm tongue slid into my mouth, I knew it was oh so real. I reached up to bring my arms around his neck. His lips were slow and gentle at first, but then both of us grew hungry. I guess being shot at and on the run from thugs really amped up the passion.

  We stayed lip-locked for what felt like a delicious eternity until I could no longer ignore the hardness pressing against my abdomen. As Maddox’s erection pulsed against me, I knew he needed taking care of.

  Pulling my lips away from his, I started sliding down his body. When I was almost kneeling in front of him, Maddox grabbed me under my arms and lifted me up. “Don’t, Lane.”

  As I slid my hand over his straining erection, I replied, “You need this, and I didn’t get to do this for you last time.”

  He shook his head. “No way am I letting my girl service me on her knees in this disgusting shower.” Before I could protest, he shut off the water and then stepped out of the tub and onto the tile. His strong hands came to rest at my waist before he lifted me over the side. Once again, he slipped his arm under my knees to carry me out of the bathroom.

  “What about drying off?” I questioned.

  He gave me a wicked grin. “I like you better wet.”

  Since I couldn’t argue with that, my lips went to nip and suck along his neck, causing him to groan. In a tangle of arms and legs, we collapsed onto the rickety mattress. In a flash, Maddox had stripped off my bra and panties. He then returned his lips to mine. Our tongues battled each other as Maddox moved his erection between my legs. I raised my hips to meet his, eager to have him inside me. He jerked away when we came a little too close. “Wait a minute, baby. We can’t do this without protection.”

  “I’m on birth control,” I panted.

  He shook his head. “I’m not risking anything with you, Princess. Not yet.”

  I gave him a shy smile as he grappled along the floor for his pants. After digging out a condom from his wallet, he grimaced. “Dammit, this is my only one.”

  Propping up on my elbow, I shot him a knowing look as he ripped into the foil. “Guess you used too many banging all the nurses in the hospital, huh?”

  Maddox’s expression darkened. “Regardless of what West said, I didn’t do that many nurses.” Before I knew it, he had slid the condom on and pinned me back on the mattress. His dark eyes stared intently at me. “Believe me when I say this, Lane, that no matter who I was with after you, I always wished it was you.”

  Maddox’s words left me breathless, and I fought to bring air in and out of lungs. “Really?” I gasped.

  He nodded. “I wanted it to be your lips I was kissing.” He brought his mouth to mine, tenderly sucking my bottom lip between his. “And your tits I was touching.” He cupped my breast, palming the sensitive flesh in his hand. “Most of all, I wanted it to be you I was inside of.” His other hand slid between my legs, causing me to moan. Just as his fingers worked me into a frenzy of lust and had me drenched in need, he pulled his hand away, causing me to whimper. “But I never wanted just your body, Lane. I always wanted your heart. I was just too afraid to ask for it.”

  “It was always yours,” I panted, my chest rising and falling in desperate heaves. “My heart, body, and soul have always been and always will be yours, Maddox.” I brought my hands up to cup his face. “Now make love to me.”

  He grinned. “I’ll be happy to.”

  Settling between my legs, he guided his erection to my folds. With one thrust, we were one again, just like that night under the stars so many years ago. Gently, he worked himself in and out of me in long, languid strokes. Our eyes stayed locked on each other as our breaths rose and fell in unison. “You feel amazing,” he murmured.

  I smiled. “You do too.”

  “Are you okay with this?” he questioned about his languorous pace.

  “Take me however you want me, Maddox. Fast, hard, slow, I’m yours.”

  “If you insist.” He winked before sliding out of me. “Roll over,” he instructed. Flipping over, I waited on my stomach. He then pushed me up onto my knees. “Hold onto the frame.” My fingers sought out the iron frame of the rickety bed. As I gripped the headboard, Maddox slammed into me, causing me to gasp.

  “Oh fuck, was I too hard?” he asked in a panic as he pulled put.

  “No, no, it’s good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I gave him a wicked grin. “Just do me like you want, Mad Dog.”

  Maddox’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t call me that ever again. That was the past, and this is the future.” He thrust into me again. “I’m Maddox to you, never Mad Dog.”

  I gasped. “Okay then. Do me like you want, Maddox.”

  He licked his lips. “Okay, babe, you got it,” he growled as he slammed into me again. This was so much different than our first time, but I wasn’t going to complain one bit. With each hard thrust, my hands caused the iron h
eadboard to beat into the wall, not to mention the creaky mattress was groaning under our exertions.

  When Maddox pulled out again, I whimpered. Before I could question him, he was crawling underneath me. He leaned back against the headboard. Taking my hands, he put them on his shoulders and urged me to straddle him. At my questioning expression, he smiled. “I wanna be able to look into your eyes when you come.”

  My heartbeat accelerated at his words as I eased my hips up to let him slide back into me. “I want to be able to see you too.”

  Maddox brushed the long strands of my hair out of my face. Cupping my chin in his fingers, he brought his lips to mine. I rose and fell over his erection while his tongue thrust in and out of my mouth. His hands left my hair to grip my hips, working me harder and frantically against him. Closing my eyes, I felt myself growing closer and closer. When Maddox’s hand slipped between my legs to where we joined, I shuddered. “Oh Maddox!” I cried, as I started going over the edge.

  “Open your eyes, Lane,” he commanded.

  As I started to convulse around him, I opened my eyes. My gaze locked on Maddox’s as I rode out the waves of my orgasm. He continued thrusting up his hips until he too came. His eyes only left mine when his head fell forward onto my chest. He then brought his hands to my back to feather his fingers in slow strokes up and down. After several seconds of trying to catch our breath, he chuckled. Raising his head, he smiled at me. “Three years and we’ve still got it.”

  Tilting my head, I grinned. “I don’t know. I think we might’ve gotten a little bit better with time.”

  “You might be right there, Princess.” Maddox grazed my bottom lip playfully with his teeth. “But I still think practice makes perfect,” he said with a wicked grin.

  “Of course you do.” I eased off of his lap to snuggle against his side. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, drawing me nearer to him. We lay in silence for several minutes. Then I remembered what had me ticked off to start with and made me go to the bathroom. “By the way, where are my clothes?”