Demon Lord, Retry! Volume 1

by Kurone Kanzaki

  But, Carnival didn’t move. How could he have? Who in this world could have initiated an attack against such an opponent?

  “No... I don’t want to die... I don’t want to be killed by a human!!!”

  “You’ve killed a bunch, though, right? Won’t hurt for you to see what all the fuss is about.”

  Without a care, the Demon Lord approached Carnival and clamped his head, tossing him high into the air as if the devil was a baseball. The giant devil shot up into the sky with blistering speed. To the onlookers, this seemed so far off from reality. The people of the Business District had been watching the fight, entranced, when something even more astonishing took place. With a burst of white light, Sodom’s Fire erupted from the Demon Lord’s hand, piercing through Carnival. In that instance, the very sky shook, and infernal flames erupted above the Holy City, painting the night sky red. Body parts and pieces of flesh that must have belonged to Carnival fell down on the city. For a while, no one could move a muscle. It seemed like they couldn’t even make a single sound after what they had just witnessed.

  “Just like I thought... What a shitty firework.”

  When the Demon Lord cackled, the adventurers, now freed from the heinous devil, burst into cheers. Drawn by their roaring celebration, the residents of the district poured out into the streets, embracing and rejoicing that they were still alive.

  “Long live the Demon Lord!”

  “You’re freaking nuts, man!”

  “It’s like Carnival was some whining kid... What a story I’ll get to tell!”

  “Let me buy you a drink, sir!”

  Amidst the cheers, the Demon Lord looked around nervously. He had never guessed this was how things would turn out. Although, considering that they were just liberated from the overpowering dread of death, their reactions were only natural.

  “W-Well... That was nothing.”

  Fidgeting, the Demon Lord lit a cigarette and looked up at the sky. Now that it was over, the fact that he roleplayed so hard through that combat seemed embarrassing. The people he saved didn’t see the Demon Lord in that light, though. They took his words to heart, cheering so loud that he couldn’t hear what they were saying at all.

  “N-Now... I’ll excuse myself. There are still attacks on the city, it seems.”

  The Demon Lord tried to scurry away, but not before a mage stood in his path. The White Mage Yukikaze.

  “You are...”

  “...This is the second time you’ve saved my life. I must repay you.”

  “No need. It was important for me to do that.”

  To farm SP, of course. Yukikaze took this statement at face value and wiggled around a bit, blushing.

  “...Silver Fox.”

  He felt like an important word was missing from the sentence, but the Demon Lord just wanted to get away as fast as possible. But Yukikaze was looking more and more like a princess in love, although he was a boy.

  “...Tell me your name, Silver Fox.”

  “Sil... M-My name is Hakuto Kunai.”

  The repeated ‘Silver Fox’ comment had knocked down the Demon Lord’s spirits. He whispered softly ‘the real me is still young, I swear...’ over and over with desperation, but no one in the roaring crowd heard him.

  (Still, I guess a guy in his thirties fits that category for someone like her...)

  With a sad little thought like that, he looked up at the moon. Seeing the Demon Lord’s expression lit with a shade of gloom, Yukikaze’s heart beat faster. While the Demon Lord was intimidating, his face was far from unattractive. He had a certain sense of allure that only the biggest criminals could pull off.

  “Kunai! Kunai! Kunai! Kunai! Kunai!”

  Before he knew it, the adventurers around him were chanting his name. Blame it on adrenaline or the thrill of being alive, as the crowd was just liberated from looming death, their cheers only grew as they drank in celebration. The barkeeps on the street were passing out drinks to celebrate the occasion.

  (What’s happening!? Give me a break...!)

  Sure, the Demon Lord wanted his bad reputation gone, but he hadn’t expected this turn of events. This was becoming more and more torturous. He leapt onto a roof to flee the scene and flew into the night.

  “That’s the Demon Lord, huh...?”

  Mikan mumbled powerlessly as she slouched down onto the ground. After defeating five hundred Satanists in an instant, he even blew up a medium-rank Devil like it was a firecracker. He was an existence beyond human comprehension.

  “...Him and I are bonded with the red string of fate.”

  “W-Wait! Yukikaze... He’s tricking you, somehow!”

  “...Jealous much, Mikan?”

  “Why would I be jealous!? You know what? My type is more like the rumored silver Dragonborn. Someone who loves justice!”

  “...How naughty. Your type is someone who loves ‘just ass’?”

  “You’re doing this on purpose!!”

  The threat to the Business District had been dealt with without much casualties, but the other districts were still in turmoil.

  Meanwhile, a clown was approaching the high-end restaurant Artemis. Without knowing, of course, that there was a terrible witch, loyal to the Demon Lord, sitting at a table there.

  A Fairy-Tale Game

  —Satanists’ headquarters

  “What the hell is happening...!? They shouldn’t be using it this early!”

  Enraged, Utopia slammed his fist down on the throne. This man had rarely been heard raising his voice up until this point. Seeing him lose his temper, the girl next to him quietly shook.

  “Marge... Has he lost his mind!?”

  “I-I’m sure... Some unexpected event has...”

  Utopia gave the girl shaking next to him a cold, serpent-like glare. Without a word, his eyes said it all... ‘you failure.’ The girl, who visualized the souls and emotions of others as colors, couldn’t help but avert her eyes. She couldn’t stand to look at that miserable hue.

  “Tron... Take that and tell them to use the other two in front of the Holy Castle. You can at least manage that, can’t you...? You mixed-blooded failure.”

  “...Uh-Uh huh...”

  The girl, wearing a black Lolita outfit, walked away sulking, before glancing back at the throne just once. Perhaps she had hope for a certain response, but the one she got was a perfectly cold one.

  “Get out of here, now... What an eyesore.”

  Waving his hand as if to shoo a dog, Utopia looked away. He didn’t even seem to want her in his field of vision. As a devil with immense powers and incredible status, the mere existence of a mixed-blood was disgusting. If he wasn’t short-staffed, that little girl would have been torn to pieces by Utopia. Just like Olgan, this girl was a part Hellion.

  †　†　†

  A clown was approaching Artemis. Not a metaphor, but a man dressed like an actual circus clown. He had deviated from his assigned group, going rogue. He was practically skipping down the street, after just having discovered that the coveted Holy Maiden was dining alone, carelessly without any guards. As soon as he had heard this tip, the clown had left the rest of the group in order to assassinate the Holy Maiden.

  “This Holy Maiden must be a dumb-dumb...”

  His name was Carmiya, an assassin considerably well-known in the shadowy parts of town. His M.O. was to infiltrate parties and balls wearing an innocuous costume. Most of his weapons were various poisons, blow darts, and other delayed methods of assassination. He had kept his career by sneaking away from the scene of the crime without a trace. Now, he had joined the Satanists to put food on his table, taking on the assassinations of various nobles. The Holy Maiden was on the top of his list. Peculiarly, he was an oddball even among the Satanists, as he didn’t worship devils. His work was nothing more than a means to earn a living.

  “So this is her abode...”

  Carmiya opened the door of Artemis, mumbling some nonsense. There were a bunch of customers in the restaurant — most of them noble
s — but that wasn’t a problem. In fact, this was perfectly favorable for Carmiya. Nobles and other high-ranking members of society were usually the best customers of his clown act. They must have considered him an ape, or some other creature that understood their language, rather than a man. They would ridicule him without remorse, and throw change at him with some pity. A clown played an important part in stroking the egos of the nobles.

  “Wow, look at all the beautiful people in here! Ah, my eyes!”

  Faltering, Carmiya covered his eyes in a conspicuous gesture. He acted as if everyone was gleaming too bright to look at them directly. The noble children giggle at his practiced, exaggerated movements.

  “It’s so bright that these beautiful roses are growing from my eyes...!”

  Somehow, Carmiya had produced a beautiful bouquet of roses in his hands as soon as he uncovered his eyes, as the petals gracefully danced in the air. A round of applause arose in the restaurant to praise the surprising act of entertainment. As far as the patrons were considered, this performance was produced by the restaurant.

  “This is why I love Artemis. They called a clown in this emergency just to make us feel better.”

  “Indeed. As nobles, we shan’t lose our composure, especially during such trying times.”

  “Our valiant ancestors would laugh at us from beyond their graves if we show weakness at such a trivial incident.”

  Nobles, after all, were comprised entirely of ego and bravado. They would lose face if they showed any sign of uncertainty while the patrons at the next table were comfortably enjoying the clown act. Despite their internal terror at the commotion outside, the patrons clamored with nearly too much applause and whistling. Carmiya, reading the room, went from table to table, drawing laughs with comical gestures, pulling pigeons from his hat, and even changing a silver coin handed to him into a gold coin, garnering thunderous applause for utilizing the full extent of his magic trick repertoire. No one would have imagined that he was here to assassinate someone.

  Finally, he had reached the Holy Maiden’s table. Unexpectedly, the grand Madame of the city had joined her. The Madame was extremely observant, sizing up most anyone she was introduced to upon her first impression. Carmiya felt as if he was walking barefoot on a bed of nails. But, in reality, he should have paid closer attention to the other woman at the table, the doctor with a dangerously alluring appearance. With a gentle smile, that woman spoke to Carmiya.

  “What a fun clown you are. Would you mind if I perform a little trick of my own?”

  “Oh, such a beauty with a talent for magic tricks!? You’re making me jealous!”

  With exaggerated movement, Carmiya bit down on his handkerchief, drawing a burst of laughter from the patrons in the restaurant. He would have made a good living as an honest clown without working nights as an assassin. Even through his act, he had kept his eyes on the Holy Maiden. But now, his gaze froze. Somehow, he was missing his entire right arm.

  “Heh...? Th-That’s strange... My...”

  As he gulped down some saliva clueless of what had happened, his left arm disappeared. It had been cleanly removed at the shoulder.

  “W-Weird... Why don’t I have... my arms...?”

  No pain. Not even a drop of blood. Still, he now had no arms. He tried to move his nonexistent arms, but couldn’t feel them at all. Just when Carmiya was about to scream, the gorgeous woman asked him with a gentle tone.

  “...Was it your right arm... or left arm that you have lost?”

  She laughed. In her hands, she held both of his arms.

  The woman was wearing a seductive smile that any man would have fallen for. Out of his control, Carmiya’s heart pounded loudly. This was nothing as sweet as a romantic moment. He had felt an overwhelming sense of death wash over him. A sense of death that was inescapable.

  “B-Both... I suppose...”

  “Oh, you’re a greedy one. But today’s your lucky day.”

  —God’s Hand: Stitch Together

  While he still had no clue as to what was happening, Carmiya’s arms were reattached. Cold sweat gushed out of every pore on his body.

  “Oh... I’m sorry, I think I mixed them up.”

  “W-Wait! That’s not funny!”

  Carmiya screamed, drawing a knee-slapping burst of laughter from the crowd. They had no clue that Carmiya’s arms had actually been detached. It was all part of the show to them. In fact, most of them were impressed by Carmiya’s prowess.

  “That clown is quite impressive... Perhaps we should invite him to our manor at the next occasion.”

  “Daddy, I want him to come to our house!”

  “Hm. It’s not a bad idea to invite the Viscount’s family to a party.”

  “Who does that clown work for? He could be the entertainment for our next ball.”

  Unbeknownst to him, Carmiya’s reputation grew out of control. Still, it was tragic to imagine what was going through his mind at this moment. His left arm was where his right arm should be, and vice versa. ‘Oops’ didn’t exactly cut it. The fact that his appearance had become so absurd aided in convincing the rest of the restaurant that it was all an act, though.

  “Alright... I’ll put them back the right way, this time. Aren’t you glad, Mr. Clown?”

  “Hrph...! Th-They’re there! My arms are back!”

  With his hands returned to their rightful place on his anatomy, Carmiya couldn’t help but raise his hands in the air in relief. Thunderous applause was awarded to the clown for pulling off such a breathtaking trick. Aku and Luna joined in on the applause with smiles on their faces, and even the Madame was smiling. They, on the other hand, thought that the trick was planned by the Demon Lord. To reinforce that idea, Yu was whispering something in the clown’s ear.

  “Make sure not to lose them again, Mr. Clown. Oh, and the poison in your pocket...? Such a horrible stench. You’ll have to buy the good stuff if you want to make the kill. Don’t you think?”

  “Y-Yes...”

  “If I ever see you again, I’ll make you into a sashimi plate, alive. Better watch out.”

  Carmiya nodded with breakneck speed, like a broken bobble-head. True, she would follow through on her threat without any hesitation, laughing along the way. Just through their brief interaction, Carmiya was sure of that.

  After that, Carmiya left the restaurant as he gathered the mountain of tips thrown at him, and awkwardly waved to the patrons.

  (I have to leave. I have to run... As fast as I can!)

  Carmiya madly ran north on his horse, travelling all the way up to the city states. He must have been one of the luckiest men in history to have encountered the Witch and survived.

  While the incident at Artemis came to a conclusion, the main event ensued. Strange things were happening in the other two attack points, too.

  The Holy Castle

  —Noble District, Holy City

  The Noble District was also attacked by the Satanists, resulting in many casualties. Perhaps because the majority of the nobles’ manors were here, the attack was furious. As most of the Satanists were far from privileged, their hatred for nobles was deep-rooted. They set anything they could on fire and killed anyone they could, even women and children. Because the Holy Knights’ Order held its headquarters in this district, the Satanists had dedicated a majority of their forces here. Amidst the humans, there were the likes of Death’s Mists, Hellhounds, and Skeleton Warriors attacking the city. These were all Hellion familiars of the lowest rank, but a whole bunch of them became troublesome.

  Amidst the roaring flames, a street-gang-looking woman and a giant man were running around: Killer Queen, the Holy Maiden, and Mount Fuji.

  “At this rate, My Queen...”

  “Fucker... What good’s your mouth if you just keep drooling bullshit!?”

  Queen yelled as she kicked a cursed Hellhound’s head clean off of its body. Next, she slammed her metal club against a Satanist’s torso to tear it into two flying pieces of flesh. Meanwhile, Fuji wore thre
e freshly decapitated Satanist heads on his belt. They couldn’t have blamed anyone for pegging them to be devils.

  But then, two real devils appeared in front of the pair. Two Hunnitraps, low-ranking devils. These were devils that looked like women, who reveled in manipulating human men and pitting them against each other until they end up killing one another.

  “Hey, big boy. Why don’t you come in and play...”

  “You stink like hell, bitch... Asura.”

  As the words left Queen’s mouth, six bombs were thrown from her hands. First, the attractive face of one of the Hunnitraps was blown to bits, before five other gaping craters were made into its body. Without even a moment to scream, the Hunnitrap fell to the ground.

  “Stomach-acid-looking whore... Go fuck a rusty pole.”

  Queen thrusted her middle finger up at the corpse. A magnificent gesture, although her methods of attack and the words out of her mouth and everything else about her were the polar opposite of how a Holy Maiden was expected to act.

  “H-How dare you... My sister!”

  The other Hunnitrap attacked Queen, only to have her face grabbed by Fuji and crushed like an apple. Even as the Hunnitrap’s head turned to mush, Fuji’s expression was unchanged.

  “How are the other districts doing, dumbass?”

  “Lady White protects the Holy Castle, and the Church is...”

  He was interrupted by an erupting inferno above the Business District, far off in the distance.

  “What the fuck... Is that Luna!?”