by Nora Cobb
Looking at nothing, I scowl at my thoughts. “As I’ve gotten older, I realize that my dad is a dick,” I say. “He can be mean.”
Walking past the kitchen, I lead the way downstairs into the basement. Natalie hesitates at the door, but her face relaxes when I switch on the overhead lights. I use the basement den as my second bedroom when I don’t want to go upstairs. Since being grounded, I’ve decked it out using my Amex. Now, there are three wide-screen monitors on the wall—one for internet, one for gaming, and the other for streaming. A black matte leather sectional sofa is placed on the opposite wall, and the end seats recline back like space-age armchairs. I jump into one and push the lever as I kick off my sneakers. Cracking my back, my feet rise toward the ceiling.
“Come on, Natalie,” I say gently. “Relax. You’re with me.”
I don’t know if she wants to talk or what, so I keep the conversation to a minimum while we start our homework. The fridge is an arm’s length away from my recliner, so I open the door, take out an OJ, and toss it to her. Natalie thanks me, but except for that, she says nothing.
“Thanks for coming,” I finally say.
Her pencil stills on the paper, but she doesn’t look up. Her hair is in her face, covering her eyes. I want to push it aside, but I don’t. My heartbeat races, but I’m no coward. I won’t hurt her. I can’t … not anymore.
“Natalie?”
Her face is rigid with fear. “It went too far this time,” Natalie whispers, but she won’t lift her eyes. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”
“No.” I slide off the recliner and onto the sofa closer to her seat. “You’re not a bad person. Actually, you’re very kind. You care enough to keep tutoring me. ”
She laughs, but not because anything’s funny. “Then why am I being treated this way? I must be horrible, or maybe I was in another life. Do you believe in karma?”
I shake my head and wondering where this is going.
“Well, I must’ve done something really shady in a past life for this to happen. Maybe I was a witch that baked children into cakes.” She giggles a little, and I relax.
“That’s insane,” I grin, watching her expression lighten.
“Or maybe I started the black plague by not washing under my nails.”
“You would never do that.” I crack a smile, and her eyes lift to mine. “Maybe you told them to eat cake.”
Natalie’s face brightens up a little more as we continue her strange game. “Maybe I was a game hunter who wiped out a species of something we’ll never know about.”
I laugh. “Or a greedy banker who evicted orphans from their home.”
I realize too late what I said. Christ, I’ve learned about her awful past, but I forgot. Natalie’s shoulders slump, and her happiness quickly fades away.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I quickly explain. “I can be a dumb jock.”
“No, it’s okay.” A stray tear trails down her soft cheek. “It’s not your fault or anyone else’s. It’s all mine.” Her voice cracks, but she continues, “I’ve been self-destructive since my parents died. I feel the loss, but I deny it. I don’t accept it. They left me behind and they’re never coming back. It’s a surreal nightmare that goes on for days and days.” She wipes a lone tear away and quickly, another follows. “I should have taken a year off from school. But I wanted the distraction.” She looks at me, and I feel cold. “I needed it, so I wouldn’t have to think about anything.”
Gently, I reach out and brush the tear off her cheek with the tip of my thumb. Her cheek is so soft that I don’t move my hand. I just keep stroking her skin. In a small way, maybe I’m helping. I’m not used to this situation, and I just don’t know what to do, but I want to be more than a distraction.
Natalie continues in a soft voice, “One minute, I want to fit in, and the next, I want to fight. Life has to change, but I want everything to be the same.” She lifts her eyes to me, and another tear falls. “Deep down, I knew what I was doing. I knew I was fucking up, but I did it anyway. Normal makes me feel numb, but being an outcast makes me feel alive.”
My hand leaves her cheek and touches her hair. It feels silky under my fingertips, and I pull more into my hands. She leans into my touch and closes her eyes. She’s shaking against my hand, and I can’t help myself.
I pull Natalie toward me, lifting her off the recliner and into my lap. She’s so delicate compared to me, and I don’t want to hurt her. I want her badly. She feels warm, cuddling against my body. I hold her in my arms, and Natalie holds me tight around my waist. Her body shakes with each sob.
“I’m sorry, Natalie.” I brush back her golden hair with my fingers.
“Why?” She lifts her head and stares at me urgently. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Sure, you were an ass at first, but you’re innocent compared to the rest of them.”
“I should have trusted you.” My voice is low, and I can’t make it louder. “I should have known that Troy would try something else. I should have looked out for you. Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. I really feel I let you down.”
She holds me tighter, gripping the front of my sweatshirt in her fists. It’s hard for me to say what I’m saying. I never apologize unless I want something.
“You were hurting,” I continue, “and we took advantage. It wasn’t right. I was out of line to boss you around like a member of my team. I can’t tell you what to do.”
“If I had listened to you,” she interrupts, “I wouldn’t be in this mess. You tried to warn me. You tried to teach me about the code. I’ll never recover from this and my reputation is ruined. Not just at Montlake, but out there in the real world.”
“Does your uncle know?”
She lowers her head slowly to my chest. I can feel her trembling as she clings to me. I don’t think she’s ever held me this close before.
***
I shift on the couch, feeling like a royal asshole as my cock hardens. This is the closeness I wanted on homecoming night, and I understand completely what she meant by being a jerk. Instead of finding Natalie, I drank shots with Lexi and Cora. I was almost willing to let Lexi seduce me. Lexi’s not on the team, but she played me well.
I don’t want Natalie to think I’m going to take advantage of her now. I’m a hothead, not a dicky jerk. I put myself on pause while Natalie cries it out. I never knew how much we had hurt her because she gave it all back with attitude. But today, she lets her guard down because she trusts me despite everything.
I dip my head and brush my lips against her forehead. Her sobs change over to ragged breaths as I kiss her soft blonde hair. Her hands tighten on my sweatshirt again. Her body stiffens, and the tension in her breathing lifts and lowers her chest.
“You still want me after all of it?” she asks.
“I’ll always want you.” And I kiss her again.
“Why?”
“Because you’re the only one I can trust at that school. And I know you think the same about me.” I see the sparkle in her eyes again when she lifts her chin to look at me. “A lot of people would have made fun of me because I was being tutored. That’s why I always turned it down. Behind my back, they would have talked about how dumb I am, but you never said a word. Not even when you were angry with me. You never made fun of me the way I used to make fun of you.”
“You’re not dumb,” she smiles. “You just don’t like math.”
Returning her gaze, I laugh. “I fucking hate it, except when you’re around.”
Tugging her towards me, I place my lips against her cheek. A soft kiss, a gentle nudge, as if I’m trying to prove that it’s enough to hold her. Natalie sighs and presses her body into my chest. I would do anything for her, but what should I do now?
“I want to really kiss you.” It sounds like a question, and I’m not that guy. I take what I want because it’s given to me freely and willingly, but this time, I wait to be told what I can do.
Her soft brown eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn’t call me insensitive.
I feel her breath warm my skin before we touch. Natalie kisses my hand as if it could save her. I want to be the one. I could be the one as I grip the back of her head in my hands and press her lips to mine. My fingers weave into her hair as my mouth explores the curves of her lips.
My hand cups her cheek, holding it still while feeling the wet warmth of her tongue against mine. I deepen the kiss. Within a second, I pull her closer though there is no space between us. Her hands hold me tight as if I might slip away. Natalie needs me to reassure her that I don’t play games. And I can’t. Not anymore.
I pull away, and Natalie lets out a soft sigh from her plump lips. I rest my forehead against hers as we catch our breath.
“This is real,” I whisper. I inhale, smelling her sweetness.
Her intense expression tells me that our kiss meant something. Does it mean more than Lucas’? I can’t go there. I pull Natalie back toward me. Full and soft, her lips meet mine, kissing slowly and patiently. I take my time, knowing that she’s delicate because of us. I coax her with my kisses into trusting me completely. A trust that I’ll work to earn.
Natalie wraps her arms around my shoulders, and she leans into my body as we get comfortable on the couch. My hands caress her thighs as she clings to me. Her hands press against my chest as I consume her with hungry kisses, one after the next.
She gasps when I let go of her mouth, and I feel the thrill of her wanting me. If I had taken her sooner, no one would have messed with her. Ever.
I tug her back toward me. Her brown eyes are soft and half closed as she watches me and a smile appears on her plump, pink lips.
“This is how I like to see you.” My voice is low and rough.
“How’s that?” she smiles shyly.
“Happy.”
Her tongue sweeps inside my ready mouth, and the kiss feels delicious, as if it could go on and on. My hand inches slowly up her body. Daring to move my fingers, I touch her breast under her cotton T-shirt. Natalie moans in my mouth. It feels too good; I can’t stop. My fingers stroke the curve of her breasts as my erection tugs in my jeans. Natalie arches her body hard against my hardness, and my restraint crumbles.
“Are you sure?” I pause.
Her fingers stroke my chest teasingly as I lift up the hem of her T-shirt, and soon, she’s in her bra and skirt lying on top of me, smiling. Natalie is absolutely beautiful with smooth skin over soft girlish curves. An electric shock shakes my body to the core. Finally, I’m with the only girl I want.
“That night, I was angry because I wanted you, but I didn’t think …” My voice trails off.
“Didn’t think what?” She reaches behind her back and unhooks her bra. My words catch in my throat as she tosses it to the floor.
“That you wanted me too.”
Natalie looks at me like I’m nuts, but I’m not nuts. I’m lying. I want to tell the truth, but I can’t. It was the code that kept me away that night like a tall stone fence between us. But following the rules hasn’t gotten me the girl I want.
I press my face against her breasts that are deliciously soft as they rub against my nose. My tongue teases her nipples into hard pink peaks. Gently, I nip one in my teeth. I’m so hard that my brain is pounding against my temples, but I’ve got to take my time. I’ve got to prove that I’m the right one. The right one, I scoff. I am the right one. My hands grab her legs off me, and her eyelids fly open with surprise.
I move off the couch, and she watches as I reach for the light switch by the bottom of the steps. Immediately, she leaps off the couch.
“Leave the lights on.” Her voice is ragged. Looking away, Natalie shudders, and she won’t close her eyes. I wonder who she thinks about when she does close them. Tonight, I’m going to erase that memory.
Standing up, I pull her skirt up past her waist and tuck the hem in her waistband. Breathing loudly, I ran my fingertips across the dampness on her panties, feeling the sweet mound underneath.
“Jacob,” she gasps.
Towering over her, I smile at the sound of my name. “Say it again.”
“Jacob.” She reaches her arms out toward me, and I watch her face, flushed and eager for me, and only me. This beautiful girl wants me, and it’s like my hottest dream come to life. My hand slips down the front of her panties. She writhes against me as I touch and explore her. Feeling the slick wetness, I watch as Natalie closes her eyes. She opens her mouth and lets out a hungry moan.
“Say my name again,” I whisper.
Her eyes flutter open, and she mouths, “Jacob.”
I yank her panties off her and kneel down in front of her. My tongue dives into her, and my fingers explore her. Tasting her sweetness, I feel her hands weave into my hair, tugging it hard.
“Jacob,” she whispers, tilting her head back, and I open my eyes, watching her pleasure. I’m determined to erase all the other guys from her head and own her fantasies.
When the tip of my tongue slides over her clit, she tilts her bottom, pressing into me. I’ll make my baby shake until she soars.
Determination gets me what I want on the field, but with a woman, I know what to do. I was taught how to please, and I’m no sad, fumbling virgin. Anthony’s face, and then Troy’s, flash into my mind. Quickly, I push those fuckers out of my head.
Anger spurs me on. Not at Natalie; never with her, not anymore, but with the others. They can’t give her what she wants, but I know now that she craves thrills. With my hands, I spread her legs apart. Tasting her, my mouth is covered in her honeyed juices as she wiggles in my firm grip. She’s whimpering for mercy, but I suck her sweet folds until her legs shake.
Natalie shouts again, and my name flies off her lips. Again.
“Jacob.”
It’s the greatest sound I’ll ever hear. For now, I’m satisfied. Her skin glistens with a glow, and I smell her sweetness in the steamy air. She’s holding my shoulders, panting as her long legs continue to tremble. I stand up and hold her steady in my arms. With one hand, I pull off my sweatshirt and drape it over her bare shoulders.
Trembling, she opens her eyes, “What about you?” Her voice is breathless. “Don’t you want to?”
I shake my head, and her voice trails off.
“After you’ve come clean with everyone,” I whisper against her hair. “If you want me, you’ll tell them the truth.”
Her eyes widen as she grips my sweaty biceps. “I don’t know what the truth is.”
I won’t push Natalie, but she’s got to make up her mind. “You know it. Just take some time to think, and admit it to yourself.”
CHAPTER 21
Natalie
Tired of bread crumbs and paper wrappers all over my car, I venture into the cafeteria to buy lunch. With dark sunglasses on, I could walk a straight line to the sandwich counter in the dark without bumping into anything. I pass by the lunch monitor, and today, it’s Coach Stanford. The school has assigned a teacher to observe and make sure that no one is bullied during lunch. Turns out that I’m not alone, and several other students have complained about being taunted and teased to their wealthy parents, who demanded results. Principal Cromwell couldn’t pretend that his school was a happy, safe place when confronted. I approach the counter and order a simple chicken salad sandwich. I don’t intend to stay, but I refuse to hide in a hole.
“Hey, trashalicious, wanna sit on my face?” A junior grabs my ass and laughs as I shove him away. The boy turns, and bang, he lands face-first into Jacob’s solid chest. He may be tall, but Jacob is taller and glares down on him. Unfortunately for him, he’s not on any team either, so no captain is rushing to his rescue.
The shaky kid tries to joke it off. He shrugs his shoulders and says, “She doesn’t mind it, man.”
With a grim stare, Jacob shakes his head, “I do.”
Before the boy can raise his hands in self-defense, Jacob lands a hard punch in his gut, and the boy crumples to the floor like a balloon deflated with a pin. Anyone in the room who wasn’t watching now turns around to look
.
“Fleming,” shouts Coach Stanford.
Jacob holds his arms up in a questioning pose. “I’m enforcing the no-bullying policy, Coach.”
Stanford looks at me, and instantly, he guesses that something terrible happened while he wasn’t looking. My picture must be posted in the teacher’s lounge.
“Five laps, Coach?” Jacob walks over. Stanford grabs him roughly by the back of the neck and leads him outside.
My appreciative eyes meet Jacob’s, and he winks, making me melt inside. My knees almost give out from underneath me when he smiles. At least the bullying stops for today.
***
In calculus class, Jacob pushes my seat playfully with his feet, but it’s nothing like our first day. When I turn to look at him, he winks again. He knows how much that heats me up. Lucas faces forward and pretends we don’t exist. It shouldn’t bother me that he’s still upset. But it does. Biting his stylus, Jacob gives me a look that can’t mean anything else, and I blush so hard that I think my chair will burst into flames. Lucas’ mouth twists tight, and Jacob must have talked. Well, he won’t give details, but he will stake his claim.