The Naughtiest Unicorn on a School Trip

by Pip Bird

  Tap tap crack crack tap crack TAP CRACK.

  A tiny, bent horn emerged from the eggshell, followed by a pale blue fluffy chickicorn. It gave an adorable cheep and shook the rest of the shell off its back. It stared at Dave.

  Dave stared at it. Then the chickicorn jumped on to Dave’s nose and nestled in his mane.

  Cheep! it cheeped.

  ‘Awww,’ said Flo. ‘It thinks your hair is rainbow straw!’

  Dave shook his head. The chickicorn rolled back down his nose and into the nesting box. It sat up, hopped up Dave’s nose and snuggled into his mane again. Dave kept shaking his head, but the chickicorn was clinging on tightly now with its beak.

  CHEEP! it cheeped happily.

  Dave seemed to have started a trend. There was more tapping and cracking, and lots of colourful little fluffy chickicorns were hatching all over the table and jumping all over the place.

  ‘I’ve never seen so many hatch at once!’ cried Bruce in a panic. ‘Quick, we’ve got to get the babies back into their nests!’

  Class Red didn’t need telling twice. They all started running around, trying to catch the baby chickicorns and scoop them back into their nests.

  By the time they’d rounded up all the chickicorns, the morning was almost over.

  ‘No time for soil sieving,’ said Bruce, shaking his head sadly.

  ‘Oh no,’ said Darcy.

  ‘You’re right – it’s a real shame,’ said Bruce, brightening up. ‘Maybe I can swap the afternoon activity –’

  ‘NO!’ shouted Class Red.

  Everyone saw Bruce’s face fall.

  ‘We mean, you just explained it so well,’ said Mira quickly. ‘We’ve all noted down lots of facts and drawn the soil.’

  The class nodded.

  ‘I actually have done that,’ said Raheem.

  ‘That’s great!’ said Bruce, looking pleased. ‘I guess it’s time for lunch then.’

  At the word ‘lunch’, there was a loud SMASH as Dave bolted through the barn doors and raced towards the trailer.

  Everyone was very pleased to get to the picnic field (and to get out of the soil sieving). They were having their lunch in a wildflower meadow, where red and white checked picnic blankets had been laid out. Next to the field there was a little pond with a bridge over it, with a family of duckicorns swimming about. In the field to the right was a bullicorn and its baby. Even though the animals were grazing peacefully, they were still a bit on the scary side with their red eyes and sharp horns.

  Class Red lined up to collect a bag of hay for their unicorns. Then they all sat down on the picnic blankets and opened up their lunchboxes.

  Jake was sitting behind Mira, Raheem and Darcy with his unicorn, Pegasus.

  ‘Hey!’ shouted Jake. ‘Dave’s eaten three of my four chocolate biscuits!’

  Mira turned around and looked in Jake’s lunchbox. There were indeed three empty chocolate biscuit wrappers. She looked at Dave, who was licking his lips. There was a large smear of chocolate on his nose.

  ‘Well,’ said Mira. ‘You can’t prove it was Dave.’

  ‘I actually saw him eat them,’ said Jake.

  ‘I’ll swap you a biscuit for your crisps,’ said Seb.

  ‘Great teamwork, guys!’ said Bruce, clapping his hands.

  ‘I’ll swap you a sandwich for my biscuit,’ added Darcy.

  Jake smiled. ‘Fine, here you go,’ he said, handing her a square of sandwich.

  Darcy shook her head. ‘No, the whole thing.’

  ‘But that’s not fair!’ protested Jake.

  Darcy shrugged. ‘Come back to me when you have a serious offer.’

  Mira gave Dave a whole packet of custard creams to stop him from stealing any more lunches. Then she noticed that Raheem and Brave weren’t eating their lunch and were staring intently at the clipboard.

  ‘Are you okay?’ asked Mira.

  ‘We’re just looking at the quest list to see if we can solve some of the riddles,’ said Raheem. ‘I’m sure we’ll have spotted some things already.’

  ‘I’m not that fussed about the quest,’ said Mira, sharing her sandwich with Dave. ‘Even though I would like to get a medal. But mostly I just want to see a kitticorn.’

  Flo sighed into her packet of crisps. ‘Me too.’

  ‘Did you know, kitticorn horns are soft and furry when they’re first born?’ Mira said.

  ‘Nooooooo!’

  ‘Yes!’ said Mira happily. ‘And if they’re feeling playful, they tickle your face with their tail.’

  Mira took a sip of her juice, and tried to remember her next favourite kitticorn fact.

  She turned back to Flo, but for some reason, Dave’s bum was in her face. He swooshed his tail around.

  ‘Bluerghle argle flargh!’ As Mira tried to stop Dave’s tail tickling her, she spilled her juice. Dave quickly licked it up, then burped grumpily.

  ‘Is Dave okay?’ asked Flo.

  ‘Are we playing Burp Alphabet again?’ said Seb.

  ‘I think Dave’s just hungry,’ said Mira, giving her unicorn a bit more sandwich. ‘Did you know that if kitticorns want your attention, they wind around your ankles over and over again?’

  There was a THUD as Dave dived over the picnic blanket and collided with Mira’s ankles, knocking her over.

  ‘Dave!’ Mira said. ‘Calm down!’ She handed him a biscuit. ‘And,’ Mira went on, turning back to Flo, ‘if they REALLY love you, kitticorns roll over and show you their tummies for tickling.’

  ‘Awww!’ said Flo.

  Dave dropped to the ground, rolled over on to his back and kicked his legs in the air. Unfortunately, as his legs flailed around, he kicked Sparkles in the nose. Sparkles snorted, stepped back, tripped over Jake’s lunchbox and fell into his lap, squashing his last biscuit.

  ‘Arghh, you’re all SO annoying!’ shouted Jake, pushing Sparkles away.

  ‘Do you think Dave is trying to tell you something?’ asked Flo thoughtfully.

  ‘No,’ said Mira. ‘He’s just being Dave.’

  Dave plopped himself down on the picnic blanket. For a moment Mira thought he looked sad. Was Flo right?

  ‘MEEARRGH!’ whinnied Dave suddenly, and shook his head. ‘MEEEEEEEARGH!’

  Mira stared at him. It was the strangest sound she’d ever heard.

  ‘Maybe he’s trying to tell you that he’s got a chickicorn in his mane,’ said Flo, nibbling on a crisp.

  ‘WHAT?!’

  Mira rushed over to Dave and checked.

  Sure enough, there was the baby blue chickicorn snoozing in Dave’s mane. It looked very cosy.

  ‘Dave, how did this happen?’ Mira said.

  Dave shrugged. The chickicorn woke up and cheeped.

  ‘The second rule of BARCC is not to take any of the baby animals,’ said Raheem, worriedly.

  Mira gulped. They hadn’t meant to take the chickicorn, but what if they got into trouble for breaking the rules? What if they didn’t get a chance to see a kitticorn?

  ‘We’ve got to get it back to its barn without Bruce seeing,’ Mira said.

  ‘Everything all right over there?’ Bruce called over as he packed up the picnic blankets.

  The chickicorn cheep-cheeped again and they all shushed it.

  ‘Absolutely fine!’ shouted Darcy. ‘We were just saying how much we love the soil in this wildflower meadow!’

  Bruce beamed. ‘Quite right too. Okay kids, let’s get back to the trailers and get on to your second awesome activity for the day!’

  ‘What can be more awesome than sieving soil?’ asked Darcy.

  ‘Just you wait and see!’ said Bruce with a huge grin, starting up the tractor.

  A few minutes later Bruce stopped the tractor.

  ‘Right-o, kids!’ he said. ‘Here we are in the sparklecorn field. Your second awesome activity today is . . . measuring the sparklecorn!’

  All the children and their unicorns slowly climbed down from the trailers. Bruce handed out measuring tapes and chart
s.

  Raheem carefully attached the chart to his clipboard and sharpened his pencil.

  ‘We need to measure the sparklecorn each spring to make sure it’s healthy and happy. You will see on your measuring tapes the perfect height for each corn stalk,’ said Bruce.

  Mira unfurled her tape and saw centimetre markings with numbers and pictures. At ‘1m’ there was a picture of a sparklecorn stalk, surrounded by lots of sparkles and words that read, ‘Perfect sparklecorn height!’

  ‘Each team of four will have one square metre to measure,’ said Bruce. ‘I’ve marked out the areas with rainbow tape. Please measure all the sparklecorn stalks in your patch and write them down on the chart. You have one hour to complete this activity. After that, it’ll be almost time for you to go back to Unicorn School. So make the most of it! I’ll just be over in the tractor if you need me.’

  Jake flung his arms in the air. ‘This is going to take for ever!’ he moaned. ‘What about the quest?’

  The chickicorn cheeped loudly from inside Dave’s mane and Dave frowned.

  Raheem looked up from the clipboard. ‘Actually, I think we’re doing pretty well on the quest. I’ve been working out the riddles.’

  ‘Really?’ said Mira.

  Raheem pointed to the checklist. ‘Number one was “what is brown and sticky but is not a stick”?’ Well, that’s awesome activity one: soil.’

  ‘Don’t call it awesome,’ muttered Darcy.

  ‘And then, “What has ears but cannot hear?”,’ continued Raheem. He pointed at the sparklecorn. ‘Ears of corn can’t hear. I haven’t worked out number three yet – “What has a bark but no bite”.’

  ‘The farm monster?’ said Darcy.

  ‘That’s stupid!’ said Jake, but Mira saw him glancing around.

  ‘Wait, what was number four?’ said Mira.

  ‘“What hisses but is not a snake”,’ said Raheem.

  ‘I KNOW THAT ONE!’ shrieked Mira. ‘Hissing is just one of the many adorable noises that a kitticorn makes! That must be the answer!’ An idea suddenly came to her. ‘Bruce said we don’t have much time left. Why don’t we return the chickicorn and find the kitticorns at the same time? AND we might find the missing answers and complete the quest!’

  Jake grinned and punched the air. ‘Woo! If we complete the quest, we win the MEDAL!’ Jake loved medals almost as much as Mira.

  ‘I’m in,’ said Darcy. ‘This is actually awesome.’

  Raheem pointed to the measuring tape. ‘But what about the activity? We have to measure ALL the corn.’

  ‘Leave that to me,’ said Darcy.

  She took four sweets out of her lunchbox and held them under Dave’s nose. Just as he was about to chomp them, Darcy threw one to each corner of their sparklecorn patch. Dave sped away, the little chickicorn on his head cheeping excitedly – and gobbled up all four biscuits, flattening the entire patch of corn into a neat little square.

  Raheem gasped.

  ‘Our corn all comes in at zero centimetres,’ said Darcy, writing a big ‘0’ on the clipboard with a flourish. ‘So, which way to the chicks?’

  ‘And the kitticorns!’ said Mira.

  ‘And the quest!’ said Jake.

  ‘Show me the map,’ said Darcy. ‘Let’s do this, Team Awesome!’

  ‘We know where the chickicorn barn is, so let’s find the kitticorns first,’ said Jake. ‘Does anyone know where they might be?’

  ‘I have LOTS of ideas,’ said Mira enthusiastically.

  ‘Shall we start with one idea, maybe?’ Raheem said, looking at his watch. ‘We have to find the kitticorns AND return the chickicorn AND complete the quest AND get back before the school bus leaves . . .’

  Mira thought for a minute. ‘Well, kitticorns really like to play with glitter daisies. There were lots near the Cuddle Corner. Which way was that?’

  Raheem looked at the map on his clipboard. ‘We probably shouldn’t go round the tractor trail as we don’t want Bruce to see us, so we might have to go straight through the sparklecorn field.’

  Jake took the map off Raheem and said it was definitely left. Darcy took it off Jake and said it was definitely right. Raheem reached over and carefully turned the map the right way up. Then he pointed to the unicorns, who had all shuffled to face the same way. (Except Dave, who was having a nap. The chickicorn on his head had fallen asleep too and was doing cute little cheepy snores.)

  ‘The unicorns are pointing north,’ said Raheem. ‘So according to the map, the Cuddle Corner is . . . that way!’

  Mira woke up Dave and everyone got on to their unicorns and headed through the sparklecorn, one behind the other. The leaves tickled Dave’s ears as they brushed past the stalks and he gave a series of giggly snorts as he wove in and out of the tall plants. The chickicorn kept sneezing.

  After a few minutes they reached the Cuddle Corner. They looked all the way round the fence twice. There were so many glitter daisies that the unicorns got sparkles all over their hooves, but they didn’t see any kitticorns. Dave started snacking on the flowers and got a glittery tongue.

  Jake folded his arms. ‘You said they’d be here,’ he said to Mira.

  ‘I didn’t!’ Mira protested. ‘I said they might be here. Ooh, I know! Kitticorns love to snuggle up in soft wool. Maybe they’ll be –’

  ‘Near the baby lambicorns!’ cried Darcy. ‘This way!’

  Raheem pointed in the opposite direction. ‘It’s actually over there.’

  ‘Yes, that’s what I meant,’ said Darcy. ‘Follow me!’ She and Star whirled round and started trotting back through the sparklecorn.

  When they reached the baby lambicorns, there was plenty of wool but no kitticorns.

  Jake looked very grumpy. ‘We’re never going to find them and finish this quest,’ he said. ‘Let’s just return the silly chickicorn and go back to the stupid sparklecorn measuring activity.’

  Cheep, said the chickicorn happily.

  Raheem tapped his watch. ‘That might be a good idea,’ he said.

  ‘No!’ cried Mira. ‘Let’s try one more place. Umm . . . Where else could they be?’

  As Mira thought hard, she was distracted by a strange snuffling sound. Turning around she realised that Dave had climbed into a large rubbish bin and was tucking into some old chips.

  ‘Dave!’ she shouted crossly. Dave reversed out of the bin. He was eating a chip and there was a banana skin on his horn. The chick was also eating a chip.

  Mira suddenly had a brilliant idea.

  ‘The bins!’ she yelled.

  ‘What?’ asked Jake.

  ‘My book said that kitticorns like to make their nests in a nice warm place that’s a bit smelly. It puts other animals off finding their nest. There were some compost bins behind the pigicorn pens,’ Mira said excitedly. ‘Let’s have one more try, and if they’re not there, then we’ll just return the chickicorn and go back to the bus. Pleeeeease?’

  ‘It’ll have to be a very quick look,’ said Raheem, looking a bit anxious.

  Mira jumped back on to Dave. ‘Come on, team – to the pigicorn pens!’

  And they charged off through the sparklecorn as quickly as Dave’s little legs could carry him, the chickicorn in his mane happily cheep-cheeping away.

  The pigicorn pens were easy to find, as they were in front of a very tall tree. There was a sign on the tree saying it was a ‘Doglark’ tree and the tallest tree on the farm. Raheem wrote this down.

  ‘Okay everybody, let’s find the compost bins NICE AND QUIETLY,’ said Mira, taking charge.

  They trotted round the back of the pigicorn pens. The pigicorns were asleep, surrounded by old bits of food and lots of mud. Dave farted approvingly.

  Prrrrrrrrrr.

  Mira gasped. ‘It’s a purr!’ she whispered.

  ‘Isn’t it a pig fart?’ whispered Darcy.

  PRRRRRRRR.

  The sound was coming from behind the compost bin. Mira slid off Dave and tiptoed to the compost bin. Dave was close behind her. She
was so excited that she took a deep breath, then regretted it because of the smell. She squeezed her eyes shut to calm down, then peeped round the bin.

  There they were! A grown-up caticorn had made a nest in the long grass and was snoozing. Beside her was a litter of four rainbow-coloured kitticorns and . . . Mira could hardly believe her eyes. ONE golden kitticorn!

  ‘Awwww!’ said Jake quietly.

  ‘They actually are a bit cute in real life,’ whispered Darcy.

  Mira squealed in amazement. They were even more adorable than she had ever imagined. Her dream had come true!

  Her squeal woke up the mother caticorn. She hissed loudly at Mira.

  Mira turned to the group. ‘See, they do hiss!’ she said happily. Then she turned back to the nest. ‘It’s okay, lovely kitty,’ she began. ‘I’m your best friend –’

  HIISSSSSSSSSSSS! The caticorn stood up, arched her back and narrowed her eyes at Mira.

  ‘Um, Mira, that doesn’t sound like a happy sound . . .’ said Darcy.

  Mira thought that might be true, but she couldn’t help it. She just HAD to cuddle one! Carefully, she reached out a hand to stroke the golden kitticorn.

  ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ asked Raheem, who was standing way back by the compost bin.

  Just as Mira’s fingers were about to touch the golden kitticorn’s fur, the mother caticorn gave an extra loud HIISSSSSSSSSSSS, waking up the rest of the kitticorns before she darted off behind the compost bin. The kitticorns scattered.

  Mira’s shoulders slumped. ‘Why don’t the kitticorns like me?’ she asked. Dave shrugged and gave Mira a nuzzle.

  Mira suddenly heard Darcy giggling. She turned around to see that her friend was covered in kitticorns. One was perched on Darcy’s shoulders, another was sitting on her welly, and one kitticorn was curled up purring on her lap.