Tomboys Don't Love Christmas

by Christina Benjamin

  I braced myself as I stood by the door while Chris gave Chelsea the information she needed to check on Ian’s flight. I sent up a silent prayer that he was safe. Then I closed my eyes and telepathed a message to him, as useless as it might be. You promised, Ian. You promised you wouldn’t ever leave me.

  Of course, he probably couldn’t be blamed for a blizzard or plane crash, but I was going to hold him to that promise.

  Come back to me, Ian. Please.

  Chris

  “So, we have good news and bad news,” I said when we returned to the table.

  “Bad news first!” Alex demanded.

  I was about to reply when Chelsea cut me off. “There’s no bad news. Ian’s flight isn’t lost. His connection in Atlanta was diverted because the storms in the Northeast grounded too many flights and there wasn’t room for his plane to land. The last update was that his flight was sent to Washington-Dulles.”

  “Was that the bad news or the good news?” Grant asked.

  “It’s all good news,” Chelsea repeated. “His flight’s not lost.”

  “True,” I replied. “But the bad news is if that info is correct, Ian was supposed to have landed in Washington-Dulles already.”

  “And we still haven’t heard from him,” Nicole added.

  I put my arm around her for solidarity. “We will, Nic.”

  “But if he’s safe, why hasn’t he called?” she squeaked.

  “Maybe his phone battery died,” Chelsea offered.

  I knew she was trying to help, and she truly had by calling her dad, but Nicole wasn’t thinking rationally right now. She wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less than speaking to Ian.

  Thankfully, the rest of our friends jumped in offering a million more reasons why Ian might not have called. It probably didn’t ease her worry, but it was a good distraction, if nothing else.

  “He could still be stuck on the runway,” Grant suggest.

  “Ugh, that’s the worst,” Alex said. “Remember when that happened to us last year?”

  Archer chimed in. “Yeah and they never let you turn your phones on until you’re deboarding. Ian’s probably just sitting there on the tarmac dying to text you.”

  “But of course he won’t because Ian never breaks the rules,” Marissa teased.

  “Yeah, except to secretly date my little sister behind my back,” I joked.

  That had everyone laughing and soon our conversation turned into a pretty fun roast of my best friend.

  Despite my own worries, even I couldn’t help smiling as I retold some of my favorite Ian stories from our high school days. And even though Nicole’s face was still tinged with worry, I could see she was in good hands, as Marissa warmly rubbed her shoulder.

  I was truly grateful that we’d made such incredible friends at Northwood. They’d become our own little extended family. And nothing meant more to me than family.

  “You’re really worried, aren’t you?” Chelsea asked, startling me from my distracted musings as my friends continued their conversation.

  “About Nic? Nah, she’s tougher than she looks.”

  “I can see that. I was talking about your friend.”

  “Oh. Ian can take care of himself.” I huffed a laugh. “In case you couldn’t tell from the stories, he’s the kind of guy to survive a plane crash and hike all the way back here through a blizzard like it’s no big deal.”

  “Ah, so he’s the unassuming hero-type,” she teased. “I can see why your sister fell for him.”

  “Me too,” I joked back.

  Chelsea’s smile made my chest hurt, but strangely, it wasn’t that familiar ache from earlier, when I’d been dying to return her flirtations with some of my own. It was something else, something foreign and disarming, but a little bit comforting, too.

  I didn’t know why, but I felt like I was seeing the real her for the first time and it made me want to get to know her even more. Maybe that was why I couldn’t seem to stop the truth from spilling out of me.

  “Hey thanks for your help back there,” I said.

  She waved me off.

  “No, seriously. That was really nice of you to call your dad on Christmas Eve and get him to look into Ian’s flight for us. We’d probably still be on hold with the airline without you.”

  “It was the least I could do.”

  “Well, I’m grateful you’re here. So thanks.”

  A bright smile lit her face. “You’re welcome.”

  A silence settled between us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Actually, it felt like I’d known Chelsea for years. She fit in easily with our loud little group. But I had a feeling she was the kind of girl who could be comfortable anywhere—a runway, a stage, my bed.

  Okay so I wasn’t entirely over wanting to flirt with her . . .

  “So,” she said, interrupting my shameless thoughts, “how did you and Ian become best friends?”

  I didn’t know if anyone had ever asked me that before. But Chelsea seemed genuinely interested and for some reason, I decided to tell her everything. Starting all the way at the beginning. My adoption story—the real one, not the one I told to get girls to fall for me.

  I even told her about Nicole’s adoption, Ian’s rough childhood and how the three of us had always been there for each other. By the time I was done, I felt lighter.

  I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to talk about my life with Chelsea. It felt great to be real with someone, rather than using the same old phony pick-up lines I normally relied on to keep a superficial conversation going. There was nothing fake about the connection I felt with this girl. And whether she’d meant to offer it or not, she was a pretty great shoulder to lean on considering we’d just met.

  Besides Ian, I didn’t really have anyone else in my life that I could share my worries with. I tried to be the perfect son for my parents since they’d taken a chance on me and given me a better life than I ever could have imagined. And with Nicole, I wanted to fill the big brother role; be the strong shoulder to cry on should she ever need it.

  But often, that left me feeling alone, keeping my worries to myself without my own person to lean on. Maybe that’s why I was always searching for a new girl to distract me rather than facing that hole in my life. But tonight, talking to Chelsea lessened that void.

  “What’s that smirk about?” she asked.

  I was startled to find she was right. I was smiling. I schooled my features and shrugged. “I guess I was just thinking that meeting you has been a welcome distraction.”

  “Really?”

  My grin widened. “Well, your flirting certainly kept me from thinking about Ian.”

  “Ah, so you did notice I was flirting with you?”

  “Uh, I’m pretty sure a guy in a coma would’ve noticed your flirting.”

  She laughed. “Okay, so what’s the deal? Am I not your type?”

  Shaking my head, I huffed a laugh. “That’s definitely not it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I sorta promised my sister we’d be Team Fraser tonight,” I said, sheepishly.

  Chelsea raised her perfectly sculpted eyebrows in question.

  “Tonight is supposed to be about sibling bonding,” I explained. “That means no flirting. Which is kinda something I’m known for.”

  “I see.” Chelsea grinned. “So it’s just my bad luck to catch you on the one night a year you’re not trying to charm the pants off some poor girl with those killer dimples?”

  I laughed. “C’est la vie.”

  Chelsea faked stabbing the butter knife into her heart. “And he speaks French.”

  I winked. “Oui.”

  “You’re killing me, dimples.”

  “There’s always tomorrow,” I said, doing my best not to sound too hopeful or flirtatious, but I couldn’t help it, Chelsea’s grin made the world stop turning.

  “There’s always tomorrow,” she replied, snagging her bottom lip with her teeth as she fought a flirty grin.

  “H
ey,” Grant said loudly, pulling my attention away from Chelsea. “Where did Casey and Lucas disappear to?”

  “Oh, I saw them sneaking off for some alone time,” Marissa said. “Being at two different colleges can be tough.”

  “Tell me about it,” Nicole and Archer said in unison.

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I grumped, sticking my fingers in my ears. “I’m cool with you dating my best friend, Nic, but I draw the line at hearing about your love life.”

  That made everyone laugh, but I didn’t pull my fingers out of my ears for a good long while as Nicole and Archer bonded over the woes of having to navigate long-distance relationships.

  It was Chelsea, who eventually pulled my hands from my ears. And to my surprise she didn’t let go. Instead, she held onto one hand and wove her fingers through mine under the table, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before letting our joined hands rest on my knee.

  Her smile was so shy and vulnerable that it almost transformed her into a different person. If possible, it made her even more beautiful. My need to know her was growing more desperate by the second.

  I squeezed her hand back and let my shoulder rest against hers as I prayed for tomorrow to get here already.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lucas

  “It’s a simple question, Casey. What did you tell Marissa?”

  Casey crossed her arms and glared at me. Normally, I found her stubbornness adorable, but the betrayal I felt made it easy to ignore.

  “So you’re gonna keep that from me, too?” I challenged

  “Seriously, Lucas!” Casey threw her hands up. “Not everything is a conspiracy against you.”

  “Then tell me what you two were talking about?”

  “About how heartbroken I am that you don’t trust me, which is blindingly obvious right now.”

  “And for good reason!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You lied again, Casey!”

  “About what?”

  “I thought we weren’t telling people we were broken up?”

  “I didn’t tell Marissa. She figured it out, which was pretty easy considering how you’re acting.”

  “How I’m acting?”

  “You barely said two words to me all night and you turned down my dad’s dinner invitation. Which by the way, tell Grant he needs to work on his acting skills when he’s covering for fake plans with you next time.”

  My nostrils flared as I tried to control my temper. I turned around wanting room to pace, but there was nowhere to go. There wasn’t enough space in this tiny closet to contain all the emotions I was feeling, but if I kept them bottled up, I was going to explode.

  I raked a hand through my hair and turned back to face Casey, ready to dive back into this fight. But her delicate features were paler than usual making her freckles stand out like cinnamon dusting a latte.

  That’s when I noticed her hands were shaking, which sort of took the fight out of me.

  I knew how much Casey truly hated confined spaces. Her claustrophobia was no joke.

  Last year when she’d come to one of my away games in St. Louis, we got to play tourists and went up in the Gateway Arch. Casey hadn’t realized how small the elevator that took you to the top was. Of course, by the time she started panicking there was no turning back. She’d nearly passed out and I think she actually might have if I hadn’t talked her through it.

  She had that same wild fear in her big brown eyes right now as she stared up at me with apprehension. I couldn’t make this any worse for her.

  Yes, thinking she lied to me so she could spend time with another guy hurt like crazy. But seeing Casey hurt . . . nothing ever hurt worse than that.

  “Hey,” I said, taking a tentative step toward her. “Take a breath, okay.”

  “I don’t need to take a breath,” she argued, backing away from me and into the door. “I need to get out of this stupid closet!”

  Casey spun and began pounding on the door, shouting for help. Her voice sounded so desperate it made my heart hurt. But the sound of her erratic breathing had me jumping into action.

  “Hey, hey, Casey, calm down.” My hands closed around her wrists and I pulled her away from the door. “The last thing I need is for you to start hyperventilating.”

  “Lucas, just leave me alone. I get it. You don’t want to be here anymore than I do.”

  I didn’t know what to say. It was true, I wasn’t too stoked to be locked in a closet having this fight with Casey again. But at the same time, I was torn. I knew as soon as we left Champs tonight, that was it. We would truly be over. And even though we had our issues, I’d never thought this day would come. I wasn’t prepared for it.

  But how could anyone ever be prepared to lose a girl like Casey Beeler?

  A sudden surge of emotion had me pulling her into my arms. For one perfect moment I felt her relax into my chest, letting me rub her back like I’d done a million times before. It transported me back to all the incredible times we’d shared together. I couldn’t believe we were over.

  With her in my arms like this, it certainly didn’t feel over.

  I hated the effect she had on me. Even if she told me she didn’t love me and had secretly been dating that Kelly jerk for months, I knew I’d still want to hold her like this. I’d still crave the way she made my heart race; my soul feel home.

  She was my everything and I didn’t know how to let her go.

  But I didn’t know how to trust that I could ever deserve her either. I was just about to tell her that when I felt her start crying. Her entire body began to tremble as she pulled away from me.

  “You don’t have to try to make me feel better.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “I know you hate me.”

  “Hate you? Casey . . . Is that what you think?”

  She gave a sad little shrug. “I made you give up Harvard and now we’re not even together. I’d hate me if I were you.”

  “Casey, I don’t hate you.” She looked away and my heart pounded with anger. If I made one thing clear tonight, it was going to be this. I took her face in my hands so she had to look at me. “I don’t hate you, Casey. I could never hate you.” And staring into those gorgeous eyes of hers the truth came tumbling out. “I love you way too much to ever hate you. The only person I hate is myself, for not being enough for you.”

  “Not enough for me? Lucas, you’re everything. I’m the one who’s not enough. You gave up Harvard and—”

  “Casey, I didn’t give up anything. Being with you has given me so much more than I ever could’ve asked for, more than going to any Ivy League school ever could, even Harvard. And you never asked me to give it up. I wanted to.” I stroked her soft hair, tucking it behind her ear. “You’ve gotta stop thinking of it that way. I’ve never given anything up when it comes to you. Being with you is an immeasurable gain. Not a sacrifice.”

  “Then I don’t understand why we’re fighting. I feel exactly the same way. I love you so much, Lucas. I don’t want to break up.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “You don’t?”

  There was so much hope in her voice I ached to close the distance between our lips and show her exactly how much I didn’t want to break up. But my own fears that this was too good to be true kept me rooted to the spot. All I could manage was a shake of my head.

  “Then how did we get here?” she asked.

  “Kelly,” I said bitterly, never hating a name more.

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but our problem isn’t Kelly. It’s believing in each other, more than we believe in our doubts.”

  Her words hit home and I felt my throat tighten with emotion. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Casey. I think . . . I think this whole time I’ve been mad at myself for not being able to do more to keep you at Columbia.”

  “It’s not your fault I had to transfer. The school ran out of funding for my scholarship.”

  “Yeah, but I should’ve found a way, gotten a loan or money from
my parents—”

  Casey shook her head, pressing a hand to my chest, making my heart beat even faster. “Lucas, I don’t expect you to fix my problems. Just stick by me through them.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I am?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been a jealous idiot. I know you would never purposely do anything to hurt me. I just couldn’t see past my own insecurities.”

  Her hand moved to my cheek. “I love you so much, Lucas, but we can’t keep having this fight. You have to trust me.”

  “I know.”

  Tears slid down her cheeks and I felt my own eyes water as I finally realized my mistake. It wasn’t my timing that was wrong. It was my faith in myself, in Casey, in our love.

  All our time spent apart had somehow let me forget that I was in control of my fate. But here, with her in my arms I knew it was up to me to fight for want I wanted.

  And I wanted Casey. Pure and simple. I always had and I always would. And I needed her to know that before I lost her for good.

  “Casey, I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. For the way I reacted about Kelly, about Syracuse, about everything. It’s not an excuse, but I was scared of losing you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said, desperately. “I want to make it up to you. I want to be the guy who does more than sticks by you. I want to be the guy who makes everything better for you. Forever.” I cupped her cheek. “Will you let me?”

  Her face glowed with renewed hope as she nodded vigorously. Relief swelled through me. Then we were kissing. And those short desperate breaths she was gasping for . . . they were because of me. And I answered each one with my lips like I could breathe for her, as she clung to me like I was the only oxygen she’d ever need.

  Our make out session grew hot and heavy, and before I knew it, I was pressing Casey into the wobbly metal shelves as we clawed at each other like a couple of kittens turned loose on a pile of Christmas presents. But instead of making it rain shredded gift wrap, it was green and gold foam fingers falling around us.