Still Into You

by Roni Loren

  This was his fault.

  And he needed to fix it.

  If it could be fixed at all.

  He carried her over to the back wall and lined her up with a set of eyebolts drilled into the wood. Leather cuffs had been attached to bolts with chains. “Hands above your head.”

  She lifted her arms and he swiftly locked her into the cuffs.

  He shoved her dress up her thighs, loving that she was still bare underneath, and lifted her legs again, spreading her wide and pressing her back into the wall.

  “That boy’s still here, pretty girl. And there’s no other woman in the world whose fantasies I’d rather fulfill.” Seth thrust inside her without finesse, finding her searing hot and soaked. He groaned as her body clenched around him.

  Seth knew they had a lot to work out besides sex. But this felt like the most effective way to remind them both what they could be for each other. And on top of that, there was no way he was going to let his wife walk away simply because he was too chickenshit to push his own limits.

  She wasn’t the only one who could get off on the dirty.

  Chapter Nine

  Seth squatted behind Leila, lacing the back of the black and purple corset he had insisted she wear tonight with the precision of a surgeon. She stayed still on the vanity stool and stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His dark eyes were cast down in concentration as he threaded the eyelets, making it impossible for her to read his expression. But the cute way the tip of his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth had her smiling.

  They’d woken up that morning, and after a steam-filled interlude in the shower where Seth had schooled her on how much better he was than the shower massager, they had decided to take advantage of some of the non-X-rated activities at The Ranch—horseback riding, a winery tour, lunch by the lake. It had felt like they were dating again, stealing kisses under the shade of one of the big oaks on the grounds, stripping naked and taking a dip in the lake, laughing when the resident geese chased them out of said lake. They’d even managed to talk about things other than the kids or work.

  But as the day had gone on, Leila has sensed Seth getting increasingly quiet, more intense. The shift had her nerves hopping and her senses on full alert. She knew that look. He was planning something.

  She took a deep breath, the boning of the corset pressing into her ribs.

  “Is it too tight?” he asked.

  She glanced in the mirror, catching sight of the way the lingerie made her breasts plump and lush beneath the simple silver necklace she wore. The snug fit was comforting, like it was somehow helping keep not just her waistline but her ragged nerves tucked in tight. “No, I like the way it feels.”

  He stood and traced his hands over her shoulders as he took in the sight in the mirror. “You look gorgeous, Lei.”

  She smiled at her reflection, absorbing the compliment. Seth had sent her to the small salon here this afternoon to get her hair and makeup done, and the guy who’d been in charge of her makeover had really outdone himself. Her hair was in soft waves around her shoulders and her makeup had dramatic tones of gray and plum, smudged kohl eyeliner rimming her lids. She looked about as far from her suburban mom persona as she could get. She looked like a different woman.

  She kind of liked it.

  “So are you going to tell me what’s going on tonight?” she asked.

  He stepped around her and leaned a hip against the bathroom counter, ignoring her question with a conspiratorial smile.

  Her eyes traveled down his soft wool sweater and landed on the clear ridge in his slacks. “Looks like you have plans for me already.”

  His eyes glinted with mischief. “You can’t expect me to look at you like this and not get hard.”

  She laughed and gave his thigh a playful swat. “You should’ve probably figured that out before you laced up the entire corset. It’s going to take you a while to get it back off me.”

  He bent over, capturing her chin in his fingers, and laid a soft kiss against her lips. “Hmm, what if I’m not the one who is going to get the privilege of taking you out of it?”

  Her eyes widened as he backed away. “What?”

  “Last night was dipping a toe in the threesome waters. I thought tonight we’d dive into the deep end.” He pulled something out of the bag he had stowed under the bathroom counter—another of her books—and set one of her favorite novels down on the counter, the illicit cover staring back at them. “I’m going to give you your fantasy, pretty girl.”

  Her nails dug into the cushion of the vanity bench as the revelation zipped through her. They were going to have a ménage. Seth would no longer be the only man she’d ever slept with. A little beat of sadness went through her, surprising her. “Honey, we don’t have to—”

  He smiled. “I know. But I want to. I’m over the jealousy thing. I want you to be able to let go and enjoy yourself.”

  She wet her lips, not sure if that’s what she wanted at all anymore. Last night had been exciting with Ian, but more so because of Seth, how focused he’d been on her, how intense that sexual spark had been between them. And today had been . . . perfect. Spending time together, enjoying and indulging in each other like courting lovers. The thought of adding another man into that mix suddenly seemed far less appealing than it had a few days ago.

  “Honey—” she started, but the shrill ring of a phone cut her off.

  Seth grimaced before hurrying into the bedroom to grab his cell phone. After a few moments, she realized Seth hadn’t gone to shut off the phone. He’d taken the call. She went to the doorway, hoping nothing had gone awry with the kids. She’d talked to them the night before and they had been having a good time at their grandparents’ house.

  Seth had his back to her, but she could see the tension in the way he held himself so stiffly. He mumbled something into the phone that she couldn’t hear, and then, “Yes, sir. No problem. Thank you.”

  Leila’s grip tightened on the doorframe. Seth only talked to one person with that formal of a tone. She found herself holding her breath as Seth ended the call and tossed the phone on the bed. He ran a hand over the back of his hair and sighed before turning around.

  His whole expression had changed. From lighthearted and sexy to grim in two minutes flat.

  “Who was it?” she asked, already knowing.

  “Rory.”

  His boss. “Did you remind him you’re on vacation?”

  “The company vice president flew into town unexpectedly today. Rory has to entertain him and my assistant manager has food poisoning. Someone needs to manage the restaurant.”

  She took a deep breath. “You’re on vacation. Rory is supposed to cover for you.”

  Seth looked away. “Lei, I can’t say no. I’ve been busting my ass trying to get him to consider me for that promotion. If I don’t help out—”

  She crossed her arms. “That’s always the excuse. They dangle that promotion in front of you like you’re a rat in the lab, but you never get to eat the cheese. You just keep running in the wheel.”

  His jaw flexed. “It’s not like that. I’m close. If I get this promotion, we could—”

  She turned her back on him and stalked into the bathroom. If, if, if. It was an excuse she heard way too often. Seth had been called away so many times before. He’d even missed Preston’s last birthday party because he’d had to work. Plus, the restaurant was open for Christmas and Thanksgiving and every other fucking holiday known to man. And inevitably Seth was the one volunteering for those shifts because it made him “look like a company guy.”

  She’d thought that maybe this weekend had been the start of something different. A reshuffling of priorities for the both of them, but apparently not. Once they got home, this little bubble would burst and they’d fall right back into their same old roles.

  Seth darkened the doorway behind her, and she ignored his reflection in the mirror as she glossed her lips, her heart breaking on the inside.

  “Babe,
I promise we can come back here. I’ll shift my vacation days to next weekend if I have to. We’ll get our time together.”

  “Next weekend is Myra’s gymnastics meet.”

  “Then the next,” he insisted.

  “Until there’s another crisis at work and you run off again.” She jabbed the cap onto the lip gloss.

  “You’re not being reasonable. You know what this promotion could mean for us.”

  Yep. More money. Along with more hours, more responsibility, and more fires to put out. “I know exactly what it would mean for us.”

  It would mean the end.

  Perhaps, they were already there.

  He sighed in that way a man does when he thinks his woman is being irrational, which only served to piss her off more. “We need to leave in about an hour if I’m going to make it on time.”

  She turned around to face him, chin jutted out. “I’m not going.”

  “Lei, I have to be there.”

  She shrugged, a move not so easy in the tight corset. “So go. I’m staying here.”

  His shoulders stiffened. “The hell you are. I’m not leaving you here by yourself.”

  She stepped past him, and he followed her as she went back into the bedroom to slip on her shoes. “I’m not leaving, Seth. You can either stay here with me or you can go. It’s your choice.”

  “What in God’s name are you going to do here by yourself?” he asked, his voice rising.

  She looked up at him, lifting an eyebrow. “Last I checked, you gave me a free weekend. No vows, remember?”

  She knew it was a low blow and had said it with the intention of jabbing him. Apparently it had the desired effect because his face paled. “But I thought . . .”

  She gave him a humorless smile. “Yeah, I thought, too. But guess I was wrong.” Maybe some things really couldn’t be fixed. She grabbed her purse and headed toward the bedroom door. “Have a safe drive back, Seth.”

  He may have called her name as she walked out the cabin, but she didn’t stop. And after walking a few yards toward the main house, she knew he wasn’t coming after her. He’d made his choice. It hadn’t been her.

  Grief burned in her throat but she straightened her spine and kept walking like a wind-up toy that had no control over its movement. One foot in front of the other. She didn’t know where exactly she’d intended to go, but somehow she found herself opening the back door of the main house and heading to the dance club she’d been in last night.

  If she couldn’t go back to her cabin, maybe she could hide in the mass of loud music and people. She made her way through the crowded dance floor and found a small table in the back. Only after she collapsed in the chair did she remember that she was dressed like a woman on a mission in her corset and brief skirt. She groaned. God bless, why couldn’t this place have alcohol? She’d never needed a stiff drink more than she needed one right now.

  She pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned back in the chair as the reality of her situation crashed down around her. What had she been thinking staying at this place? What the hell was she going to do here for another night and day by herself? She’d used it as a bluff with Seth, trying to get him to stay with her, but it had backfired. And now her husband was gone and here she was—a mom, alone, at a sex club. Fucking terrific.

  She closed her eyes and let the mind-numbing beat of the music mix with the cyclone of thoughts and worries in her head.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” said a male voice, a voice with the perfect mix of twang and old money, one she’d recognize anywhere. Her eyelids flew open as Kade Vandergriff tucked his hands in his pockets and grinned down at her. “Is this seat taken?”

  She sat up in her chair as if she’d been pinched. “Kade?”

  He laughed and took her response as an invitation to sit. “Guess I didn’t need to be so secretive about my game room. Your brother Jace recommended you to me because he said you wouldn’t have an issue with designing a playroom, but he didn’t tell me you were actually part of the scene.”

  Her lips parted in shock. “I—I’m not.”

  He leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee, openly scanning her outfit with appreciative blue eyes. “Oh, so what, you’re here for the great virgin daiquiris?”

  Her cheeks heated. Shit. This was bad. So bad. “I’m here with my husband.”

  “Oh?” he asked, his gaze not leaving hers. “Am I in his seat, then?”

  Her breath seemed to forget how to move in and out of her lungs. “He, uh, had to leave. For work.”

  “Mmm,” Kade said, grabbing two fruity-looking drinks off a passing cocktail waitress’s tray and handing one to Leila. “And he let you stay without him? Trusting husband.”

  She took the drink from him and sipped, the citrusy concoction burning her dry throat. “Something like that.”

  He frowned, stirring his straw in his glass and studying her. “So you have an open marriage? I would’ve never guessed based on how freaked out you got the other night when I flirted with you.”

  She nearly choked on her drink. “We don’t have a . . .”

  But she trailed off when she realized what she was saying. Wasn’t that exactly what Seth had set up for this weekend? She sighed, too emotionally exhausted to keep up some façade. Who cared if Kade knew? She’d already planned to turn down the job with him anyway. Not to mention him seeing her here in this getup pretty much wiped out any chance of professionalism anyway. “This weekend was a bit of a try-to-save-our-marriage experiment.”

  “Ahh.” His expression turned sympathetic. “Guess it didn’t go so well if he’s not here anymore.”

  “Epic fail.”

  “I’m sorry, Leila. Truly. I know how it is to lose something you thought would be forever.”

  She glanced up and caught a glimpse of some past hurt flash through his eyes—a layer of emotion she hadn’t noticed in him before. For a moment, she got the sense that he knew exactly how she was feeling right now. Mr. Nordic God had lost someone important to him. She looked back down at her glass, impaling a piece of pineapple with her straw. “Thanks, but can we talk about something else? And while we’re at it, can you magically turn this drink into fifty percent vodka?”

  He chuckled. “Actually, I can. But that would involve getting out of here and me making a stop at my room.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Did you sneak alcohol in here, young man?”

  He leaned forward with a conspiratorial whisper. “You bet. And I’m not that young.”

  Despite herself, she smiled. Kade was probably only two or three years younger than she was, but it felt like a decade. They were at such different points in their lives.

  He laid an open palm on the table and met her eyes. “I’ll share some with you if you promise not to tell on me.”

  She stared at his hand, her heart beating a tattoo against her ribs. “It’s supposedly dangerous to drink here.”

  “Only if you plan on playing with someone.” His words were low, intimate in the loud, crowded room. “Do you plan on playing tonight, Leila?”

  She shook her head, the idea sending a nervous jitter through her. “No. But what about you? I’m sure you didn’t come here tonight to get drunk with your interior designer.”

  He wiggled his fingers. “Come on. I’m here for a few days. I don’t need to play tonight.”

  She stared at his open palm, his long tapered fingers beckoning her with what she knew was a bad idea. But she didn’t want to spend the rest of the night alone. Kade was easy to talk to, and for some reason, she trusted him not to cross any lines.

  The only question was, did she trust herself?

  After a long moment, she laid her hand in his. Her husband had walked out on her. What else did she have to lose?

  Kade smiled and lifted her hand to lay a quick kiss on top of it. “Come on, gorgeous. Let’s go get comfortably numb.”

  Chapter Ten

  Seth finished verifying the night’s cash count and slammed the
safe shut with a loud thud, cursing when the impact knocked a nearby picture off the wall of the office. With a sigh, he bent over to grab the frame and set it back to rights.

  The shift had been ridiculously busy, and he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but the fact that Leila was still at The Ranch. She’d been so unreasonable about the whole thing. How could she not understand that this promotion could mean the difference between them getting the house of her dreams and not? Could be the game changer in her father finally taking him seriously as a businessman? Seth could finally prove to every naysayer in his life that he could become more than what he’d come from. Not a gardener or a construction worker but a real deal executive.

  He shook his head, the weight of all that had happened in the last few hours pressing down on him. The betrayal in Leila’s eyes had been akin to a scorned lover—like he was leaving her to go to his mistress or something.

  He sat on the edge of his desk, his shoulders sagging. Maybe that’s what it felt like to her. Maybe work was his mistress. How many times had he had to rush off to the restaurant when Leila or the kids needed him for something? He grabbed the brochure on the corner of his desk and stared at it. The real estate agent had given it to him when he’d gone out a few weeks back to look at properties outside the city. He’d found a rambling farmhouse Leila would’ve loved to get her hands on. And it’d been just out of his price range. If he got the promotion, he could put a down payment on the damn thing today. Give Leila what she always wanted. A place to remodel. A big, sprawling yard for the kids to run around in. A home and husband she could be proud of.

  A knock on the office door startled him out of his ruminations. He’d shut down the place for the night, so only he and the bartender were left in the building. “Come in.”

  John stuck his head in the door. “Hey, boss. You’ve got some company.”

  Seth’s heart did a little leap. Had Leila come back? Maybe she’d realized—like he had—how stupid it had been to fight. Things had been going so well today. He pushed himself off the desk and hurried out of his office. But he halted in his tracks when he saw his visitor was definitely not his wife.