Paper Stars Rewritten: Fallen Brook Series: Book 2
Page 24
Ryder drops his arms from the top of the doorframe and lifts me up in one lithe move. My arms, legs, and ankles lock tight around him as he carries me to our bed. He turns us so that I’m straddling him and he’s sitting on the mattress. I climb off his lap and begin to slowly remove his socks and jeans.
After I pull the second sock off, I ask, “Why do you think you’re going to lose me?”
“Something Jay said. It struck a nerve.”
I take his zipper between my teeth and tug it open, then grab the front loops of his jeans and tug, peeling his slacks down and off.
“Let me rephrase that. What precisely did Jayson say that made you think that?”
Next, I remove his boxers, freeing his very engorged and throbbing cock. I lick the tip and he hisses.
“I’m waiting, Ryder.” I lick again like a kitten lapping milk, then place a kiss to the head and stand up.
“He reminded me that he was your first in everything,” Ryder tries to say, but his breath is too choppy with desire and his words come out uneven.
“I don’t remember him that way, Ryder. You are my first,” I reply, stripping my clothes off. “Only you,” I say and push him back to lie flat on the bed.
I crawl up his tanned, muscled body and situate my core directly over his manhood. Ryder’s hands grip my hips so tightly that I’m sure I’ll see the finger marks tomorrow. I stretch my arms out and bend over him, my face floating above his, my hair forming a curtain of jasmine-scented blond silk around us. I lower my pelvis enough to bring his cock to my entrance, but no more than that.
“What are the three things I told you?”
Ryder groans when I rock back and forth, sliding him across my wetness. His fingers grip even more around my hips. “You said you want me,” he grits out between clenched teeth, the hold on his desire close to breaking its tether.
I continue my gradual rocking motion. “And?”
“You said you love me.”
I lower the rest of the way and take his mouth, wrapping my tongue with his in a soul-shaking, wet and hungry kiss. When I release his lips, I ask, “What was the third thing?” My body ignites with a devil fire when I feel his tethered control snap.
“You’re mine.”
In one synchronous movement, he jerks his pelvis up as I slam down, my body hungry for him to be inside of me. A second. A breath. A beat. Then I rise and lower, sleek and sweaty, meeting him push for pull, my orgasm already building. Ryder sits up and cups each of my breasts, fondling and sucking, like he can’t get enough. I spear my hands through his hair and grab hold, my skin being flayed by our heat. He latches on to one nipple with his mouth and pulls it with his teeth. I jerk as if being zapped by electricity, the sensation too much but one that I know will never be enough. My hips piston harder, the sounds of our bodies coming together crash in a frantic staccato.
Suddenly, Ryder flips me over so I’m on all fours, my face cradled against the thick bedspread. He pulls my hips up and slams back into me. “Fuck, yes!” I yell out because it feels so damn good. We devolve into sexual chaos and it’s the most fantastic thing I have ever experienced. Ryder drums into me hard. Once, twice, three times, and I’m done, gripped by an orgasm so strong, I actually see stars. I feel him thicken inside of me, my walls clamping down hard. He grunts then utters the sexiest moan as his own orgasm takes over.
My forearms and knees give out and I collapse on the bed, Ryder on top of me. I love the feel of his warm skin and heavy body pressing into me. Every time we make love, I hold him in place and refuse to let him get up. This time is no different. “Don’t you fucking move,” I warn him, and he chuckles near my ear.
“I know better. You’ve trained me well, sweet Elizabeth,” he replies, then kisses my shoulder and neck. God, this feels so good. I may never get up even though wetness is trickling out of me. We can change the bedsheets later. It was so worth it.
As our sweat-slicked skin cools and dries, I tap Ryder’s arm to let him know I need room so I can wiggle around. Once I’m on my back, I snuggle my face into his shoulder. “That was fun.” And it was. Everything we do together, every time we make love, all of it is new for the both of us.
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll turn it into fun-tastic.”
I fall into a fit of giggles. “That was so cheesy.”
“Thank you,” he says happily, sounding proud of himself. He rolls over to his side taking me with him. I snuggle back in and he drapes a leg over mine.
“I hope I didn’t hurt your gorgeous face with my enthusiastic sexcapades.”
It’s Ryder’s turn to laugh, the deep sound music to my ears. “It looks worse than it feels,” he assures me but I’ll make sure to tend to it once we get up.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“You believe me, right?” He cocks a curious brow my way. “That I’m yours and I love you. Don’t let Jayson get in your head. Trust me when I tell you that he and I will have our own talk.”
“You don’t need to fight my battles for me, Elizabeth.”
“I have a feeling that this is also my battle. Besides, isn’t that what couples do? Fight for each other and stand by one another?” For some reason, my questions earn me a very long, toe-curling kiss.
“Yeah. That’s what they do.”
“Remember your promise to me — that if you ever find yourself falling into a dark place, you come find me and talk to me first.” He nods in acknowledgment and caresses my arm and side before resting his hand over my butterfly tattoos. “Good. Now how about a naked picnic in bed?”
“What’s a naked picnic?”
“It’s where I eat food off your naked body.” I grin mischievously.
“Only if I get to reciprocate.”
“Deal.” I smack a kiss to his lips and he winces. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry,” I apologize, giving him several tiny, little pecks around his mouth. I’ll have to be gentler with my kisses until his cut has healed.
After our naked picnic, which involves a lot of strawberries, a few grapes, and some dark chocolate I melt in the microwave, Ryder gives me another first when he perches me on top of the kitchen counter and fucks me into delirium. Afterward, we take a quick shower and crash hard into bed. I wake up a few hours later, restless from a memory dream of Jayson that was of him in a tuxedo taking a knee in front of me beside the Eiffel Tower.
I ease myself out of Ryder’s arms so as not to wake him. Even in the dark, I can make out the slight swelling on the side of his mouth. I lean over and plant a feathery kiss to the bruise and sit up, draping my legs over the side of the bed. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I look over to check the time on the clock. One in the morning. I silently groan. I’m still too restless to fall back asleep. I look over at Ryder again. His face is relaxed and peaceful. He’s the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My girlie heart sighs and I shake my head at myself. Ryder takes such good care of me. He takes care of everyone. My man is selfless and good and kind to the core. An idea forms in my head and I ease off the bed, grabbing my phone. Tiptoeing to the other side, I grab Ryder’s phone and sneak out of the bedroom.
When I get to the living room, I sit on the couch and open Ryder’s contacts. Finding the name I want, I enter it into my phone and send a text.
Me: It’s Elizabeth.
I don’t expect to get a response since it’s after midnight, so I’m surprised when one comes through almost immediately.
Fallon: Kitten?
Me: Do we have to go thru that again. Stop calling me kitten.
Fallon:
Fallon: Color me surprised when I say u r the last person I expected to text me.
Me: Well, this is new Elizabeth.
Fallon: Heard Trevor was hanging at Ry’s place last week.
Me: Not choosing sides so don’t start. I hang with who I want.
Fallon: Haven’t seen my boy all week. He ok?
Me: That’s why I’m texting u. Things are hard for him right no
w.
Fallon: What do u need me to do.
Just like that, I think. Just “what do you need me to do.” I move Fallon up another rung on my respect ladder.
Me: Something fun. Any ideas?
Fallon: Oh little kitten. You have no idea how dangerous those words are.
Fallon: I’ll get back in touch.
Me: Thanks Fallon.
Fallon: A secret for a secret?
Another flash of déjà vu hits me, but it makes me more curious than anything else.
Me: I’m game.
Fallon: I really like the new kitten.
Fallon: What’s your worst fear?
I sit back against the sofa cushions and tuck my legs under myself. My worst fear? I bite my lip. I have so many. Such as fear of that night, fear of never knowing why, fear of finding out why, fear of losing my guys, fear of losing Ryder, fear that I will never be able to have any more children. But my worst fear of all…
Me: Getting my memory back.
Me: Your turn.
Fallon: Having you think I’m a worthless piece of shit.
Fallon: Be careful around my older brother.
Me: What?
Fallon: Goodnight kitten.
Me: Fallon. Wait.
I stare at my phone for a good half hour, waiting for Fallon to reply.
“Babe? What are you doing up?” Ryder asks, yawning hugely. He shuffles into the living room and plops down beside me. I’m able to hide both our phones under the couch pillow before he sits down.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Aren’t you running with Julien in a few hours?”
Shit. I completely forgot about our five a.m. run. “I’m supposed to. Maybe I should cancel, especially after what happened between you and Jayson.”
I lay back and rest my head on his chest. His arm goes around me.
“Jules actually stood up for me against Jay.”
“I’m glad he did.”
“Come on back to bed. You need to sleep.”
“Okay.”
I grab our phones from under the pillow, hiding his under mine, as Ryder lifts me off the couch and carries me honeymoon-style down the hallway. I keep my teasing to myself because he’s being sweet and I’m really enjoying being carried. I’m able to fall asleep in Ryder’s arms, but thoughts of Fallon’s text have me dreaming about sitting with him on a bench swing having a similar conversation. A secret for a secret.
Chapter 29
Elizabeth
“How is he?” Julien asks me as we amble down the path side by side.
After mile five, we slowed to walk the remaining five so we could talk about what went down last night between Jayson and Ryder. It’s the end of September and mornings are quite comfortable. A blanket of clouds hangs low, a precursor to the rain which is forecasted for later today. A few other joggers who are out give us small waves as they pass by.
“First, why don’t you tell me what Jayson said to Ryder last night?” I counter.
Ryder was still asleep when I left this morning, so I wrote him a cute note and left it on my pillow. I wrote several more and placed them strategically around the apartment where he would find them after he woke up. Well, the notes weren’t exactly cute. They were filled with filthy promises of what I wanted to do to his body and what I wanted him to do to mine. I expect to be pounced upon as soon as I walk through the door tonight when I get home.
“Honestly? I don’t want to tell you because you’re going to get pissed. But it was pretty brutal.”
“Did Ryder fight back? I saw the cut and bruise on his mouth.”
“He didn’t lift a finger. He didn’t even say a word. He just stood there and took everything my brother threw at him.”
Oh, Jayson. You and I are definitely going to have a talk later. “Ryder didn’t tell me much, but I got the general gist of things.”
“Jay threw his past relationship with you at Ry. Told him once your memory came back that you would leave. Before that, he landed a punch on Ry as soon as he walked through the door. E and I had to break it up. I haven’t spoken to Elijah since last night.”
“What? Julien, no. I don’t want that. I don’t want issues in my life to mess up yours.”
“It is what it is. I chose to stand by Ry, and E chose Jay. Couples fight all the time. We’ll get over it, eventually. I plan to make him sweat a little first.”
I give Julien a look.
“What? I can be petty when I want to be,” he says. “Daniel has tried to call my phone a few times. I’ve declined each one.”
“Oh?”
“Have you talked to him yet?”
“No. And I lovingly ask that you drop it.”
“Got it,” Julien replies.
We’re almost back to where I parked my car. I met up with Julien at the park this morning for our run. He jogged there, whereas I drove. “Want a lift back to your place?”
“That would be nice.”
“Just to warn you, I’m coming up and talking to Jayson.”
“Want back-up?”
I shake my head no and unlock the car. “If I need you, I’ll yell.”
Julien opens the driver-side door for me but stops me before I get in. “Tread carefully. I know this situation is all sorts of fucked-up, but Jay is hurting. I don’t agree with what he said, but I understand where it’s coming from.”
“I get it, Julien. I really do. I know that Jayson and I will forever be tied together through our past and through our child. But right now, I need to fight for my future, the one I see with Ryder. Jayson swore to me that the four of us would remain a family. That he wouldn’t shut Ryder out. I don’t know why or how I know he’ll keep that promise, but I have faith that he will.”
As soon as we enter the condo, Julien kisses my cheek and heads off to shower. I’m all kinds of sweaty, but I don’t care. On the drive here, I worked myself up into a frenzy of anger. One that’s about to get released on the man I’m staring at in the kitchen.
I rush over and punch him hard in the arm. It feels like I just punched a wall of concrete.
“Jayson, what the hell? You punched Ryder.” I know that’s a dumb thing to accuse him of since I just punched him myself.
Jayson is eating a bowl of cereal, shirtless, and in loose cotton sweatpants. His hair is wet and slicked back. He looks up at me like I didn’t just accost him in his kitchen. “Good morning, princess.”
I grit my teeth. “You promised,” I remind him.
“That I did. I won’t break that promise, Liz. But you knew full well last night would happen eventually. Now it’s over and done, so no need for you to worry anymore.”
In a weird sort of way, I get it. Jayson did it for me. I won’t have to wait around, worrying anymore. It’s a screwed-up round-about logic, but I do get it.
He stands and places the cereal bowl in the sink, and I get distracted by the tattoo on his chest. The similarity to Ryder’s tattoo is unmistakable. I see my name in bright red carved into the trunk of a tree, stars hanging from its branches. It’s the tree from my dream. The anger I felt moments ago ebbs away and I sigh.
“Well, okay then.”
Jayson laughs. The sound does something to me, like a feeling of childhood trying to resurface. “Sorry to ruin your moment. You look gorgeous when you’re angry. I may have to piss you off more often.”
“You’ve done an excellent job of that ever since you broke my door.” I can’t help but smile. “Dammit, Jayson. You’re making it hard to stay angry at you, but I really am mad at you for what you said to Ryder.”
“He told you?”
“No. Julien did.”
Jayson releases an exasperated sigh, “Jules and his white hat complex.”
“Again, no. You need to apologize for what you said.”
“I’m sorry, Liz.”
“Not to me, you frustrating idiot! To Ryder.”
“I’ll apologize to Ry. I promise,” he relents. Jayson walks over and gives me a hug.<
br />
“I’m gross,” I protest, but I return his embrace.
“I don’t care,” he says back. “I’ve missed you.” The hug is brief but powerful. “Stay here. I have something for you.” While I wait for Jayson to return, I pour myself some coffee. It’s lukewarm but beggars can’t be choosers.
“Here, I got this for you.”
When I see the small black jewelry box in the outstretched palm of his hand, I freeze, eyes wide, coffee mug poised in front of my face. My eyes flick from the box to him. “Jayson?”
“It’s not what you think. Just open it.” He places the box on the counter in front of me. I eye it as if it’s full of snakes waiting to jump out at me. “Liz, open the damn box.”
“Okay. Fine,” I snap, but don’t move to touch it.
“Liz.”
“Okay!” I slam my mug down and grab the box. I lift the lid just a fraction. Good, no snakes. I pop it open the rest of the way. Inside is a large heart-shaped locket like the ones you put pictures in. It’s gold and has intricate filigree designs.
“Turn it over.”
I do and gasp. Inscribed on the back is our daughter’s name, Elizabeth Ann. But there’s something added to the end. Jameson. “Elizabeth Ann Jameson. Our beloved daughter. You will forever be in our hearts.”
I lose it. Right there. Just sink down onto the floor and cry. Jayson sits down beside me and lifts me into his lap, holding me like I’ve imagined holding my little girl a million times this past week.
“It’s beautiful, Jayson,” I cry. He takes the box out of my clenched hand and removes the necklace, placing it around my neck. I touch the heart. Our precious girl.
He opens the locket. “You can decide later if you want to put a picture in it. But I wanted you to have something so it wouldn’t be empty.”
Inside the locket is a picture of the two of us as children. We have our arms slung over each other’s shoulders, my pale blond locks contrasting with his dark brown hair.
“I always imagined our daughter would have your blond hair and green eyes,” he whispers.