Chapter 5
10 am – 2 hours into surgery
The woman walked into the surgery waiting room with an almost royal grace. Her heels clicked crisply on the antiseptic looking tiles that the floors were made of as she practically glided to the center of the room. Her grace, however, stopped at her face. It looked ragged. Her makeup was all off by just a little, like she had rubbed her face with her hands multiple times over the past few hours, and stark wrinkles framed her tired eyes. She looked remarkably different than the woman who had run into her son that morning in an apartment hallway.
It was the same woman, though. Her gaze finally alighted on a semi-familiar face. Andrew. She remembered the name from the night her son had walked out of her life. She had travelled to the city to try and convince him to take back what he had said and come home. She had never expected to encounter the wraith of a man who had coolly blown by her this morning. What could have happened in the past four and a half months to have changed her son so much? She wondered if it was AIDS, but she didn’t think that was helped much by surgery.
She walked over to the chair Andrew had collapsed in. He looked even worse than she did. Trying to keep her voice calm, she said, “You must be Andrew.”
Andrew startled and looked up at her. After a moment of confusion, she saw understanding enter his eyes. “And you must be Mrs. Dempsey.” His voice was as icy as someone who has reached a complete state of exhaustion and fear can manage.
Without sitting down, or relaxing even a little bit, she asked the question she had been dying to ask all morning. “What has happened to my son?”
Andrew appeared to deliberate for a moment and then replied with a resigned sigh, “He has a brain tumor. It didn’t respond to chemo treatments, so now they are trying to cut it out.”
Without any thought, Mrs. Dempsey collapsed in the chair next to Andrew’s and almost instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand. Silent tears streamed down her face as her heart broke for her son, who didn’t know she still loved him, and for herself, who might never get to see him again.
1 pm – 5 hours into surgery
Mrs. Dempsey looked up as a middle aged man in scrubs came into the room. He located Andrew in the seat next to her and started walking in their direction.
“Hi, Andrew,” he greeted before turning towards her. He held out his hand as he spoke, “I’m Dr. Tillman, Shawn’s surgeon. Are you related?”
Mrs. Dempsey bristled for just a moment before she calmed, realizing there was no way this man would know about her if Shawn hadn’t mentioned her. “Yes, I’m Shawn’s mother.”
“Oh,” Dr. Tillman responded in a slightly shocked voice, “Shawn said he didn’t have any family.”
Mrs. Dempsey’s heart seized, and she forced herself to grate out, “We’ve been estranged.”
“Okay, well, as Shawn’s Medical Power of Attorney, Andrew will make any decisions regarding his care.” Turning slightly towards Andrew, he continued, “Is it alright if I update you with her here?”
Mrs. Dempsey froze and prayed to a God she very much believed in that the man her son loved would have a kind heart.
“Of course.”
She breathed again.
“As you know, we are about five hours into the surgery. Everything is going according to plan so far. There was a little too much bleeding but we got that taken care of pretty quickly. We still have another 3 or 4 hours left. I just wanted to take a moment to come and let you know how things were going.”
Andrew reached out and shook Dr. Tillman’s hand before replying, “Thank you, Doctor. I’ll be here if anything changes.”
Dr. Tillman nodded at Mrs. Dempsey before he turned and headed back into her son’s surgery.
4:30 pm – 8.5 hrs into surgery
In the eight and half hours they had been sitting next to each other, Shawn’s mother and Shawn’s boyfriend spoke barely five words to each other. Both merely sat curled in their worlds of pain and tedium. No matter how afraid you are, waiting gets boring after awhile.
Mrs. Dempsey broke out her stupor briefly in order to be shocked when a chaplain came in and spoke with Andrew for a few minutes, left, and returned with a cup of coffee and a God bless you.
A few hours ago a nurse had come out to tell them that surgery was still on track, but other than that there had been no interruptions to their hours of waiting.
Until now.
Dr. Tillman came into the waiting room wearing a new pair of scrubs. These were closer to teal instead of the blue he had been wearing earlier.
He had barely stopped walking before he started talking, “Shawn is out of surgery. Everything went as well as could be expected. You can visit him, one at a time, in recovery in about an hour. He’ll still be asleep but I know it will ease your mind to see him breathing.” With a crooked smile, and many profuse thanks on Andrew’s part, Dr. Tillman left the waiting room.
An hour later, a nurse came to tell them that one of them could go back and see Shawn. Andrew told Shawn’s mother she should go first. Mrs. Dempsey assumed it was because he thought she would be leaving after she saw Shawn and he would be staying. He was correct, but she resented the assumption.
However, she didn’t hesitate to follow the nurse back to her son’s room. He looked so small and fragile, hooked up to the various IV’s and machines. A constant steady beep beep beep was the soundtrack to her reunion with her son.
Stifling a resigned sigh, she walked over to his side, kissed his head, and whispered, “Good bye.”
She turned around and left the room. As she passed through the waiting room once more on her way out of the hospital, she stopped in front Andrew and said, “Tell my son I love him.”
Then Shawn’s mother walked out of the hospital and her son’s life forever, knowing her husband would never let her see him again. Knowing she was not brave enough to leave the life her husband made possible.
*****
Chapter 6
Life in Chaos Page 5