The Scars of a Pure Heart

by Grace Clemens

  “Troy’s riding for the midwife,” Judy called over her shoulder as she led the way through the darkness. “Once Mrs. Barston arrives, she’ll handle most of the birthing. There’s plenty for us to do, though.”

  Not an hour later, Macie had learned the truth of those words. Clora lay in her bed, moaning ever louder with each new set of pains. Judy stayed calm as she gave Macie instructions.

  “Go build up the fire in the stove,” she directed. Macie hurried to oblige.

  “Now, get a pot of water boiling. There’s probably some in the reservoir on the back of the stove, but another pot full will likely be helpful. Oh, and make some tea,” Judy called as the younger woman made for the pump.

  Clora was removed from the bed between pains and Judy ordered Macie to help her change the bedding. To her surprise, Macie was told to place several layers of newspaper on top of the fresh sheet before a light blanket was added and Clora was allowed to return to her place on the mattress.

  Mrs. Barston arrived along with a harried-looking Troy. The small, spare midwife bustled in, confident in her ability to take charge. To her surprise, the middle-aged woman asked Macie for a cup of tea before settling in and chatting amiably with Judy for some time. All the while, Clora’s moans grew and Macie found herself wringing her hands. Surely there was something that they should be doing? How could they ignore the woman sweating and groaning on the bed?

  The sun was peeking over the horizon when Clora’s moans turned to real cries of pain. Mrs. Barston moved into action and the pushing began. It began to become clear to Macie why the older women hadn’t been in a hurry before and why the newspapers were needed. She was greatly relieved that her role in the whole endeavor was following orders, as she wouldn’t have had any idea what to do if she’d been on her own.

  Finally, around mid-morning, Clora was encouraged to give a final push and a wet, wiggling baby girl entered the world. Judy scooped up the little scrap of life and began to clean her while Mrs. Barston dealt with the cord. Macie mopped up her sister-in-law’s face.

  “It’s a girl?” Clora panted tiredly.

  “It is!” Macie grinned. This had been the most intense night of her life, but it had also been one of the most marvelous. She could hardly believe Clora had gone through so much to bring that tiny baby into the world.

  Mrs. Barston busied herself with wrapping up the birthing business while Judy washed the baby. Once satisfied that the job had been done well, Clora was finally allowed to stretch out her arms and hold her new daughter.

  The other women slipped out of the room before sending the anxious father and oblivious brother in to meet the new addition to their family.

  “Thank you for your help, Macie,” Judy praised her. “Go home and get some rest.”

  Macie was all too glad to obey. Her heart sang with thankfulness as she flopped onto her bed. Both Clora and the baby were doing fine! She lifted up a weary prayer of thanks before drifting off to sleep.

  ***

  After the birth of the baby, Macie found that she was no longer stuck in a deep pit of warring emotions. Maybe it was little more than the passage of time which allowed her to become accustomed to the knowledge that Blake wanted to annul their marriage.

  The shock was gone and she’d distributed the blame equally between them, no longer heaping it unfairly on either of them. She was deeply saddened by the way things had turned out but knew that she could move forward with her life.

  She waited a few days before going to visit Clora, unable to resist the call of the new baby any longer. Clora was sitting up in bed, just finishing feeding time. Troy Junior waved happily at his auntie from his place on the floor where he was making an attempt to play quietly.

  “How are you?” Macie asked sincerely as she bent and kissed her sister-in-law on the cheek.

  “A bit sore, but getting better every day,” Clora replied with a tired smile. “It’s different the second time. With Troy Junior, I labored a long time and took weeks to recover from the birth. But I could sleep whenever he slept and that helped. With this one,” she looked down lovingly, “the birthing was easier, but I have another little person to care for.”

  Macie took the chair next to the bed. “I can’t believe how brave you were during all that! I didn’t know what it would be like. I kept watching you and feeling amazed that you were so calm.”

  Clora laughed lightly. “I knew less than you did the first time. I was so afraid when Troy Junior was born! It helps to know it’ll all be over eventually.” She moved the tiny bundle to her lap and held her expertly as she patted the baby’s back. “Did you hear that we decided to name her Judith?”

  “After Judy? What a thoughtful idea!” Macie watched the little girl greedily. She was amazed by the array of expressions that passed over that pudgy, red face.

  Finally, the smallest of burps issued from the infant and Macie laughed.

  Clora smiled wryly. “Would you like to hold her?”

  “Yes, but I’m afraid I’ll hurt her. She’s so small!”

  “You’ll be fine. Here, cradle her like this.” Clora demonstrated and then waited until Macie moved her arms to the right position before placing the baby there.

  Macie was instantly smitten. She’d never before seen anything so perfect and amazing in her life. Her heart melted and she found herself sniffing back tears.

  “I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Clora said quietly.

  “I don’t know that I did much,” Macie admitted.

  Clora shook her dark head. “You did a thousand little things to make it easier on me. Judy and Mrs. Barston couldn’t have done their work nearly as well without you there.”

  Smiling humbly, Macie found it easier to look down at Judith, whose wee fists rubbed over her face as she mewled gently.

  “I don’t mean to pry,” Clora began tentatively. “I wanted you to know, though, that I’m willing to listen should you need a friend.”

  Though Macie knew exactly to what the older woman referred, she kept her face blank.

  Clora hurried on, “I’m sorry if that was too intrusive. All this disagreeing over Ewell has made all the Bradfield men touchy. There are times when I want to shake them all until they rattle. It must be very hard on you, though, to be alone and not have any friends nearby.”

  “I don’t know that I can share much.” Macie bit her lower lip. “Blake wouldn’t want his words getting back to Troy and I would never ask you to keep secrets from your husband.”

  The new mother gave that some thought. Finally, she said, “Would it be all right if I ask you some questions about how you’re doing rather than about Blake? Anything you tell me, I’ll keep in confidence.”

  She was so eager to share what was on her heart that Macie didn’t do more than pause briefly before agreeing.

  “All right.” Clora smiled bracingly. “I know that Blake has gone indefinitely, trying to complete Ewell’s treasure hunt. I was a little surprised that he went alone. Did you want to stay behind?”

  Macie shook her head minutely. “I wasn’t invited,” she admitted, hurt coloring her words.

  Her sister-in-law didn’t gloat or heap insults on Blake. Rather, her face registered commiseration but no judgment. Clora pressed, “The two of you married quickly. Even if you knew each other through letters, you must still have so much to learn about one another. Did you know that Blake was so determined to go off on his own?”

  “Yes,” Macie said slowly. “He made that clear right from the start.” She sighed heavily before admitting, “I was so sure I could change his mind.”

  She glanced up in time to see Clora roll her eyes self-deprecatingly.

  “You are hardly the first woman to ever make that mistake, Macie,” she said dryly. “It took me more than three years before I started to give up my hopes that Troy would somehow shift into the man that I imagined I wanted him to be. There’s something in us women that makes us see a man’s potential and there’s something in men that
resists ever achieving it.”

  Macie appreciated the support but needed to say more. “I thought that there were only two possibilities for our life together; either we would stay put and build a home and Blake would give up his dream, or else he would travel, only returning now and again and I would give up my dreams of a family and a home. But now he’s told me that there is another option: annulment.”

  Clora’s eyes widened at that. “Annulment? You aren’t seriously considering ending your marriage? Are things that bad?”

  “I don’t want to end our marriage,” Macie said, heart aching.

  Fortunately, Clora was a clever woman and understood what her sister-in-law hadn’t said. “Oh, Macie,” she said softly.

  “How will I face it? Everyone in town will know what happened.” Tears pricked again at Macie’s eyes. “And that’s not to mention how awful it will be to have to keep my distance from your family.”

  “I could cheerfully strangle Blake,” Clora declared. Then she took Macie’s hand and said, “First of all, Macie, know that our family will stand with you. You are one of us now. If Blake plans to take off and go exploring, you are still going to be welcomed here as long as you want to stay.”

  Macie nodded, touched by Clora’s kindness.

  The older woman continued, “As for facing the humiliation, remember that you are more than a spurned woman. If Blake is foolish enough to let you go, that speaks poorly of him, not you. People might say cruel things, it’s true. I suppose you’ll simply have to trust that God will take care of your needs. Rest in his hands.”

  Talk moved on to other things, but Macie found herself considering Clora’s advice as she walked home some time later. She knew, in theory, that she should trust God with her marriage and her reputation. It was the huge leap of actually doing it that concerned her. Could she really hand over her dreams and expect God to make things turn out for her good? Macie found that, as she had no other choice, she was certainly willing to try.

  Chapter 25

  “Where are you three headed?” Macie asked Harris a few days later.

  Her red-headed brother-in-law looked back over his shoulder at the wagon where his father and eldest brother were climbing aboard.

  “Mr. Nelson sent word that our order of replacement barbed wire came in. Pa’s anxious to pick it up just as soon as he can,” explained Harris.

  Macie’s eyebrows lifted. “I’m surprised Len wants to go himself. He’s been rather reluctant to leave the ranch since the fences were cut.”

  “Pa’s only going because all the other hands are busy watching the herd. With the fences down, we have to be extra careful to keep them from straying out and rustlers from straying in. It’ll take all three of us to load the wagon.” Harris shrugged, “There hasn’t been any more trouble since the business with the fences. Pa hopes to hurry back and get them repaired as soon as possible.”

  Her stomach gave a nervous skitter and Macie asked, “What’s keeping Lucien Durning from sending his goons right back to cut the wires again?”

  It was Harris’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You think it was Durning, too?”

  “I think it’s too much of a coincidence that he told Blake that your father would regret not accepting his offer and then these problems started not long after. I saw Mr. Durning approach Blake. It was plain to see your brother was shaken by their conversation.” Macie crossed her arms.

  Harris rubbed at the back of his neck, giving this new information a thorough going over. Finally, he sighed and said, “I can’t think of another plausible reason for someone to light that fire and cut our fences.”

  “I just wish you three had listened to Blake when he told you about Lucien Durning in the first place,” Macie sighed. She caught her brother-in-law’s dismissive expression and questioned, “Do you automatically discount everything that Blake says for some reason? If it turns out that Durning is behind this, that would mean Blake was right and you three refused to listen.”

  The younger man’s face became rueful.

  “It’s no wonder that he feels there’s no place for him here.” Macie shook her head. A surge of empathy for her husband flooded through her and she turned and walked back to her cabin.

  There’d been quite a change in her heart over the past few days. Macie had spent far more time praying for Blake and far less time being driven by her constantly-shifting emotions. As the afternoon wore on, she pieced quilt squares with Judy and Clora while lifting up the entire Bradfield family in prayer whenever she fell silent. The whole lot of them were weighing on her spirit today and she hoped that there would be some sort of peaceful resolution to be had.

  Though Judy invited Macie to supper at the big house, she refused. She’d fried a chicken the other day and needed to finish the remains. Humming to herself, Macie moved around her little kitchen. Being alone in this cabin was far more pleasant than she would have guessed. The evenings by the fire might drag on a bit, she admitted to herself, but she enjoyed the freedom to choose how to pass the time. It gave her hope that she would be able to be content after she and Blake were no longer married.

  Tonight, she decided as she sat at her table eating her small supper, she wanted to finish reading “Jane Eyre.” She’d borrowed the book from Judy and found it to be a deliciously gothic tale. Whatever would happen to poor Jane who had only last night been made an offer of marriage by St. John?

  Suddenly, there was a distant crash. Her head jerked up and she froze, chicken leg halfway to her mouth. What on earth was going on?

  Not five heartbeats later, the cabin’s front door slammed open and two surly men burst in, pistols pointed.

  “Don’t move,” commanded the shorter of the pair.

  Fear coursed through her veins and Macie wondered absently if she could have moved if she wanted to.

  The two thugs clomped further into the cabin. As they walked, they tipped chairs and knocked over anything they could reach, sneering all the while.

  “What are you doing here?” she was finally able to ask.

  “We’ve got a message for you,” the shorter man cackled.

  “A message? From whom?” Macie responded automatically.

  Texas was still a wild place, she knew. An isolated cattle ranch would certainly be an easy target for ruffians. Typically, the four Bradfield men and the dozen or so ranch hands were formidable enough to deter most troublemakers. But the men had gone into town and the hands were all guarding the cattle. Macie was suddenly too aware of the fact that the women and children were on their own.

  “Lucien Durning would like to repeat his offer to buy this ranch,” the taller man finally said in a cracked voice.

  “Why are you delivering this message to me?” Macie frowned. “My father-in-law is the one who owns this land.”

  The smaller man leered at her and Macie finally thought to put down the chicken leg and wipe her fingers on the napkin.

  “We happen to know that your father- and brothers-in-law are all tied up at the moment,” he snickered.

  “And your hired men aren’t available for consultation,” the other man added.

  From the way the two of them grinned at their own wittiness, Macie suspected that the Bradfield men had dealt with their own trouble on their trip to town. She worried, suddenly, that they’d been hurt.

  Uncharacteristic anger bubbled in her gut. This sort of behavior was not only illegal, it was also downright despicable.

  “All right, then,” she said coolly, “you’ve delivered your message. I’ll be sure to pass it on to my father-in-law when he returns home. Get out of my house.”