by Lilly Wilder
“Maybe I should go get him.”
Suddenly, he jumped up, but before he could go past her, she grabbed him by the elbow instinctively. The last thing she wanted him to do right now is force Parker to come and say hi. That would be the wrong start, and it might undermine everything she could achieve with him. Spontaneity was a far better option.
“No, don’t,” she shook her head. “He appears really shy and it’s a mistake to make him come out here if he doesn’t feel the need to do so on his own.”
“Oh,” he murmured, pulling his hand away immediately, as if her touch burned him. “I guess you’re right.”
He thought about it for a second, then went back to his seat. He was still smiling, but it was a painful kind of smile, a forced smile. Rene was sure that the smile he would give his son was genuine, it was a smile that never revealed its deep pain hidden underneath, but with her, he didn’t need to put in so much effort, and it showed. As someone who knew what it felt like to carry a deep sadness that never really went away, she could recognize it the moment she saw it in someone else. It was easy. It was like looking into a mirror that went past the mere surface and showed what truly lies beneath.
“Your house is really lovely, Mr. McGallan,” she smiled, feeling as if she was losing him, even though she was sure she hadn’t done anything.
“Thank you,” he nodded, a little pensively, but a second later, he was smiling again.
There was an obvious effort on his part not to succumb to that brooding pensiveness once more, but to remain the smiling, charming person he wanted her to think he was.
“And, please, call me Hyde. I think that’ll help Parker be more open with you,” he added.
She agreed with this. Moving away from those social confines was usually beneficial in her line of work. However, the line still had to be drawn somewhere, and in this case, Rene herself would be drawing it by forcing herself to stop thinking about how hot her possibly future boss was.
“Anything you can tell me about him?” Rene wondered. “His hobbies, interests?”
“He loves books, he’s got this little um…” Hyde paused, raking his fingers through his hair as he spoke, “microscope my w… his mother and I got him last year, and it’s still one of his favorite things to do. You know, look at stuff underneath, and you see what it’s made of.”
Rene nodded and smiled. This sentence actually revealed more about him than his son. It was all still fresh and this man was still in shambles over what had happened. She could see that much. The fact that he refused to refer to her as his ex-wife, but rather just his son’s mother told her that it was probably she who wanted the divorce.
“I have a book about biology and stuff, which I think would be great for him. I’ll make sure to bring it next time,” she said it, then bit her tongue.
The position still wasn’t hers. It was too soon to talk like this. She could only hope that he wouldn’t hold it against her.
“You know, that’s a great idea,” he smiled, encouragingly.
Rene smiled back, happy to see that she didn’t cross the line.
“You come highly recommended, Miss… I mean, Rene,” he corrected himself quickly, “and as you can imagine, I’m in a bit of a rush to find someone to watch Parker, because I start tomorrow.”
Rene wasn’t expecting to start that early, but she wasn’t in a position to be overly picky. She’d have to make it work, one way or another.
“I trust my instinct when it comes to these things,” he revealed, and there was something about the way he said it that assured her this was so. “First impressions usually make it or break it for me, and you left a good one.”
“Despite the fact that Parker wouldn’t even come out to greet me?” she asked, with a shy smile.
She was hoping that she would at least get to say hi to him, but that was obviously not happening. Despite that, the whole conversation was going exactly how she wanted it to. She was grateful for that.
“Like I said, don’t take that personally,” Hyde shrugged his shoulders. “He’s an introverted child. He takes after me. But, once he decides he likes someone, well then, you won’t be able to get rid of him.”
Rene grinned at this thought. Was he like that, too? Suddenly, she got overly curious about him and his wife. Was he still in love with her? What happened between them? Did she cheat on him or did he? Judging from the way he talked about her, the look on his face, the sound of his voice - she was sure that it was her decision to divorce. Not his. She could bet her life on it.
“I hope that I’ll get to see what that’s like,” she replied, realizing that she took a little too long to reply, and he was waiting for her, with a puzzled look on his face.
“Are you free to come tomorrow morning?” he asked.
“I am,” she nodded.
“Then that’s settled,” he said, getting up.
She wasn’t sure if that meant that their conversation was over. She got the job, didn’t she?
“I’ll just need you in the mornings, as my new job allows me to get off work earlier, and if there are any things that need to be wrapped up, I can always do it from home.”
“That sounds really convenient,” she replied, feeling a little envious of this kind of work, where he got to choose his own work hours, instead of having others do that for him.
But, it was the line of work she had chosen for herself and, despite a few drawbacks, she wouldn’t change it for the world. She never saw herself working in an office. She was more of a people person.
“I got lucky,” he answered, sounding just a little proud.
“Or they really wanted someone like you,” she corrected him.
“Oh, I’m nothing special,” he waved his hand dismissively, “there are millions of people like me out there.”
“And yet, you got the job,” she smiled at him, feeling like he was putting himself down unnecessarily. “It’s OK to feel proud of yourself and your achievements, you know.”
“It’s been a while since I felt proud of myself,” he revealed. “Actually, the last time I felt proud of myself was when I got Parker.”
Rene smiled. This man, who was standing before her, was a broken soul. His outer appearance presented a god-like being, a strong powerful masculine persona, but his words revealed the deep, seething pain that was echoing deep within him. He had been hurt so badly, so deeply, that even she, who knew little about it, feared that it might leave scars that would never heal.
She felt a sudden urge to hug him, to caress his cheek and tell him that there was nothing to worry about, that things would be alright in the end. Scars heal, if only we let them. Brooding and constantly thinking about the person that caused us pain is never a good road to recovery. Instead of telling him this, all she could do was smile, as she shook his warm, gentle hand.
A minute later, she was waving goodbye from her seasoned, worn out Chevrolet Caprice, begging it to start and get her at least around the first corner. Luckily for her, it started up with a heavy cough, like a smoker who knew his lungs were filled with dark liquid, killing him slowly but surely.
Chapter 2
Rene was back the following day, knocking on the same grey door, a few minutes before 7 am, which was the time she was expected to be there. She was dressed in a pair of plain pants that allowed for easy stretching, as she expected to be physically active with a child Parker’s age. Her blouse was buttoned up almost to her neck. She was wearing zero make up, grateful for good genes that didn’t allow the few wrinkles she had to be overly visible.
Hyde immediately opened the door, and as soon as he did so, the faint smell of his cologne filled up her nostrils and her mind filled with dirty images. Quickly, she got them out of her mind, like an annoying swarm of mosquitoes that threatened to suck her dry.
“A few minutes early, I like that,” he smiled, inviting her in.
Rene wanted to tell him all about how her car wouldn’t start t
his morning and how she had to call a cab, and how she thought she’d be late, but the only reason she wasn’t late was because she initially started super early. If all of those things didn’t happen, she’d be way too early, waiting down the street, so they wouldn’t notice her.
That was one of her little quirks. She couldn’t allow herself to be late, under any circumstances. That was why she always started crazy early, knowing full well that she’d have to wait 15, sometimes even 20 minutes, but that never seemed to bother her. Being on time was more important than anything. Maybe it was about leaving a good impression. Maybe it didn’t have a reasonable explanation, and it was just a part of what made Rene Olsen the girl she was.
However, instead of explaining all of this, she just nodded and smiled. He probably didn’t want to be bothered by this silly story anyway.
She entered his home again and nothing had changed since the previous day. She had no idea why she expected it to be different. Maybe messier, or maybe cleaner. But, she expected it not to be the same. Maybe because she herself was entering it now with a different frame of mind. This was her job now, this child was hers to take care of. This man… she wasn’t sure what he was. Just her employer? Of course that was all. He couldn’t be more. Not in a million years.
And yet, the thought of him never left her mind. As she laid her head on the pillow the previous night, excited about her new job, about the financial freedom that was finally within her reach, all she could see was Hyde’s face smiling at her. Despite all her conscious efforts, she kept thinking about his hands on her burning cheeks, on her neck, on her hips. She could almost hear his voice filling up her bedroom, him calling out her name in ecstasy.
“Parker is still asleep,” Hyde said, as she closed the door.
He looked around, looking for something, then saw his keys in a little glass bowl that sat on a nightstand in the hallway.
“He doesn’t wake up before 8, so you have about an hour to relax,” he smiled gently.
“Have you…?” she started, but he seemed to read her mind.
“I told him all about you,” he assured her. “He knows I need to go to work and he also knows that you will be taking care of him while I’m gone.”
“Is he OK with that?” she asked, a little unsure of the whole thing.
She was hoping that Hyde would be there to introduce them. That was how these things usually went. The child would feel much more at ease when the parent was present, and, of course, it made total sense. The fact that a stranger would be there when he woke up seemed like a bad start.
“He saw you yesterday,” Hyde told her, “he said you have a kind voice and he wanted me to ask you if you would read to him today.”
When Hyde said that, she felt a pleasant warmth surround her heart. If that was true, then there shouldn’t be any issues. Reading was a special time for most kids and they usually didn’t want just anyone reading to them.
“Of course,” she replied, quickly. “I brought that biology book I mentioned…”
“Great!” Hyde exclaimed cheerfully. “He likes porridge oats for breakfast and orange juice. He likes squeezing it himself. You’ll see, he’s a very capable almost 5-year-old.”
Rene smiled. The way Hyde spoke about his son was contagious. The joy. The pride. The happiness. It was heart-warming.
“I wish I could be here to introduce you to him, but…” he stopped, gesturing at the way he was dressed.
He looked suave in that suit, with just the right amount of professionalism. It wasn’t over the top, which was what Rene usually thought about those stuck up business suits. His was immaculate.
“It’s OK,” she assured him. “We’ll be fine.”
“My number is on the fridge,” he told her, pointing in the direction of the kitchen. “If you need me for anything, and I do mean anything, just call. Even if it’s to ask me where the milk is.”
“OK,” she replied, unable to resist the urge to laugh. “I will.”
“I’m serious,” he added, his tone turning somewhat grave. “If he wants to call just to hear me, let him. I’m never too busy for him.”
“Of course,” she nodded again.
Hyde looked down, as if he was trying to remember something, something that was at the tip of his tongue, but he still couldn’t remember it. He took a few steps forward, then backward, then looked up at her again. He looked nervous, like he didn’t really want to go.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, worried that he might change his mind about hiring her.
“Yes, I just, “ he started, raking his fingers through his hair. “I wish I could stay with him just a little while longer…”
He was almost whispering now, and she wasn’t sure if that was because he was afraid to wake up Parker, or because this pain was pressing on him so heavily. Whatever the reason, she understood how painful that could be. She wanted him to know that Parker was in good hands, that there was absolutely no need for him to worry about anything, but she knew that her saying this wouldn’t be enough. He had to see it.
“Listen, why don’t we give you a call when he wakes up, just so you could see how we’re doing?” she suggested.
He seemed surprised to hear this, like he wasn’t expecting this suggestion. Then, a smile of agreement appeared on his face, and that anxiety was gone as quickly as it appeared.
“I’d really appreciate that,” he beamed.
“Then, it’s settled. When he wakes up, we’ll call and you can tell him you love him and that you’ll be back shortly. That way, it should be an easier transition.”
“I… thank you…”
He smiled, then his face leaned upward, and his nostrils flared open. For a second, Rene thought he must have smelled something, but she herself couldn’t. Was there something in the air? She took a shower, so she was sure it wasn’t her he was smelling. It was a silly gesture, one Rene didn’t understand nor did she want to discuss it, so she just waited for it to pass. A second later and Hyde was looking at her again, breathing normally.
“Actually, I’ll be fine. Don’t call. I mean, you don’t have to, unless Parker wants to. If you see he’s fine, just keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing,” he suddenly added, changing his mind.
“Are you sure?” she asked, eyeing him weirdly.
She tried to read him, but she couldn’t. He was a book she wouldn’t be able to open so easily. He seemed to be all over the place, behaving in an increasingly puzzling way, even bordering on scary and anxious. But, at the same time, she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was a man, freshly divorced, starting a new job, trying to keep the little remnants of his old life intact. Then, there was his son. The love he had for him was almost tangible. She could feel it in every word he used to talk about him, and she was sure this man would do anything for his family, even lay down his life if he had to.
All of a sudden, the thought made her sad. That was what she herself always wanted: a man who would value family over anything else, but she kept meeting one asshole after another. She was even pissed off at his ex for not recognizing what a prize she had when she married Hyde McGallan.
Rene would allow herself to think about this for a few seconds, then she would remind herself that she was being unfair. She didn’t know what happened. She had no idea who was wrong, who made the mistake that destroyed everything. She couldn’t judge either of them. It just wasn’t fair, without hearing both sides, which was something she was sure she’d never get to do anyway. So, she would just stop thinking about it and focus on why she was here in the first place.
“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m sorry I’m like this…” he added, with a sorrowful tone in his voice. “I’m nervous about the new job, and also, because of Parker…”
“For Parker you’ve got nothing to worry about,” she assured him with a disarming smile. “And, besides…”
Before she could continue, a sleepy toddler walked out of a neighboring r
oom, dragging his bare little feet against the carpeted floor. In his left hand, a limp teddy bear lay, while he was rubbing his eyes with his right hand. His blonde curls made it seem as if he had a haystack on his head. He took a few steps, then stopped right before them.
He looked at his dad, then at Rene. He yawned, without putting his hand over his mouth. Then, gazed at his dad again, in his eyes an equal mixture of sleepiness and curiosity.
“Well, good morning there, champ,” Hyde smiled, picking the boy up in his arms.
The boy was smiling. He had the cutest little gap between his two front teeth. He hugged the teddy tight, finding safety in his father’s loving arms.