by Lilly Wilder
“This is Rene,” Hyde explained, speaking softly to the boy. “She will be watching you while I’m at work, remember?”
But, Parker didn’t reply. He just eyed Rene, as if he was trying to figure out whether he liked her or not, and whether she would be allowed to stay with him or not - as if the whole thing depended on him. Rene found this amusing.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Parker,” she took the lead, knowing this initial impression would be the corner stone on which she would build the foundations of her professional relationship with this little boy and his father.
“You know,” she continued, fumbling in her tote bag, which still hung loosely on her left shoulder, “your dad mentioned that you have a fantastic microscope.”
Instead of a reply, Parker just nodded. That coy smile was still on his face and she could see the flicker of curiosity in his eyes. He wanted to know if she had some new ideas for his microscope.
“I have this book on biology,” she continued, taking a big book out of her bag, “and in it, we can read about all sorts of animals, plants and insects. We could even go out in the garden, find some and then see what they look like underneath the lens of your awesome microscope.”
She tried to say this with as much enthusiasm as she could, without it sounding fake. Kids could always tell when someone was exaggerating. They were smart like that, even though not many people gave them the credit they deserved.
“Really?” he finally voiced his curiosity, and Rene could see the satisfied smile on his father’s face.
“Of course,” Hyde nodded, kissing his son on the cheek. “She promised me you’d do all kinds of cool and interesting stuff, and when I get back home, you’ll tell me all about it. What do you say?”
“A-OK!” Parker gave his dad a high five, then Hyde put him down.
“Have fun you two!” he greeted them quickly, kissing Parker on the forehead, then rushing out the door.
The following five hours passed incredibly quickly and Rene was surprised to hear the key in the lock. Hyde walked in, and for one second, she could see the weight of the world pressing on his shoulders. But, the moment he saw his son, his expression changed. A warm, happy glow washed over him and there was no sign of that sadness that was there a mere second ago.
Rene watched as Parker left the train set they were playing with, and rushed to jump into his father’s arms. He did it with such force, that both of them almost fell, stumbling backwards.
“Whoa there, cowboy,” Hyde said, laughing, his fingers digging gently into the boy’s body as he tried to make sure they didn’t fall.
Parker’s face hid in his father’s neck. The sight was priceless and Rene almost felt like she didn’t belong there. This moment belonged to Hyde and his son. Right then, as if sensing her feeling of displacement, Hyde smiled at her, lifting himself up, with his boy in his arms.
“So, I take it that all went well?” Hyde asked, carrying Parker into the living room.
Rene silently followed after them. She was mesmerized by the magic of the moment, the feeling of pure happiness that had nothing to do with her. Hyde and his son created it all on their own, inside their little private universe. A part of her was a little jealous that she didn’t have anyone who would be so happy to see her. By this point, she had hoped she would, but fate had decided otherwise.
“Maybe you should let him tell you,” Rene smiled as she replied.
“What did you and Rene do today?” Hyde asked Parker, as he gently put him down on the sofa, then seated himself right next to him.
Rene remained standing. She would be going in a few minutes, there was no point in getting too cozy. Despite all the fun she’d had, she was exhausted. She felt pressured to do her best and make it a fun day for Parker and, hopefully, she’d managed to obtain that goal.
“We found the longest worm ever!” Parker squealed in delight, and Rene couldn’t resist the temptation to laugh out loud.
“Oh, really?” Hyde glanced at her, and they smiled at each other. “Was it really the longest worm ever?”
“It really was!” Parker’s excitement was infectious.
He spread out his arms wide to the side, in a sweet effort to show Hyde how big and long this enormous giant of a worm was.
“And, it was all wriggly!” Parker added excitedly, moving his body left and right, trying to resemble a worm.
“So, a wriggly worm, huh?” Hyde asked, feigning shock and awe at this amazing animal.
“The wriggliest!”
“The wriggliest, you say?”
It was all so sweet, and Rene just couldn’t stop smiling, watching them.
“We were inspecting it under the microscope,” Parker continued, all important.
It didn’t escape Hyde’s attention to hear Parker use a new word. Inspecting. He smiled, patting his son on the head.
“I see,” Hyde nodded, “it sounds like you really had a fun time.”
“It was great! Can Rene come again tomorrow?” Parker said, so effortlessly that he caught both adults off guard.
Hyde glanced at Rene. She was gleaming with pride. Her eyes glowed and, for a second, it seemed as if she was about to start crying.
“I think you and I both would love her to,” Hyde hugged his boy, and their eyes were glued to Rene, waiting for her to reply.
“Of course,” she finally said, smitten with the attention she was receiving.
For a second, it looked like Hyde was about to say something else. The smile on his face revealed more than a thousand words could, but as soon as that flame appeared, it equally quickly died out, and in its place, professionalism and composure appeared once again.
“Alright then,” Hyde suddenly got up, still holding his son’s hand in his own, “let’s not keep Rene any longer. I’m sure she’s had enough of us and she wants to go home now.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Rene waved at Parker and he shyly waved back.
“I’ll see you out,” Hyde quickly added, letting go of his son’s hand, who rushed back into the room to play with his toy trains some more.
Rene slowly walked towards the door, feeling Hyde’s presence closely behind. She had to admit to herself that it’d been a while since a man’s presence made her feel like this. Her palms were getting clammy and she felt a need to wipe them against her pants. She stopped by the door, and waited for Hyde to open it. His hand passed by hers, brushing it softly and accidentally, and that touch made her shudder. It was a strange feeling, a sensation of excitement mixed with fear so powerful that she wanted to open the door herself and run away. But, she couldn’t do that. She was done running away from her past, from all the things which threatened to drown her.
“Do you need a ride?” he suddenly asked.
She eyed him strangely. Didn’t he know she had a car? A lousy one, but at least it still worked.
“No, thanks,” she replied, strangely grateful for the offer. “I’m parked just down the street. That crappy Caprice.”
She laughed at her own comment, but it was true.
“I wondered whose it was, because I haven’t seen it before,” he grinned.
“Yeah, mine,” she repeated, feeling unburdened by the fact that she just admitted to owning the crappiest car in the street. Somehow, it didn’t bother her as it usually did when she had to tell people this.
“Could be a real beauty, if you pimped it up a little,” he suggested.
“Yeah, I wish,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Can’t afford any pimping right now. I got other stuff to take care of, so the Caprice will have to wait, unless it dies on me before that.”
Hyde’s lips parted slightly and she expected him to say something, but instead of his voice, she heard Parker shouting from the inside.
“Da-ad!”
She smiled, remembering the first time she got there, listening to that very same sound.
“You’d best head on back inside,” she
gestured at him.
“I guess you’re right,” he replied, scratching the back of his head, in a cute, I-don’t-know-what’s-happening way. “So, tomorrow, the same time?”
“Of course,” she nodded, the corners of her lips dancing upward.
“Well, good night then.”
“Good night,” she raised her hand in an effort at a carefree goodbye, but all she managed to pull off was a weird, clumsy twitch to the left and then to the right.
She turned around, and walked down the stairs. She knew Hyde was still at the door, watching her, so she tried to make her exit effortlessly nonchalant, with her booty swaying gently to the left, then to the right, as if following some silent music.
In theory, she figured, she nailed it. In practice, she had absolutely no idea.
Chapter 3
Rene was sitting comfortably on the sofa, waiting for her roommate Alice to finally get out of the bathroom. Alice always took too long, using up all the hot water. But, Alice allowed her to stay here free of charge for the first month or so, which meant that Rene couldn’t really say anything disagreeable. Not that she wanted to. She’d known Alice for quite a while and, despite what others thought of her, Alice was always there when Rene needed her, including now.
Rene was holding a glass of dry, not overly sweet, red wine in her hand and she was leafing through the latest issue of Vogue. It was one of her secret pleasures, looking at those effortlessly beautiful women who seemed to have it all together. Those smiles were always picture worthy, those dresses always immaculate, those shoes always impossible to walk in, but when it came to leaving an impression, boy did they ever.
She desperately wished she was one of those happy, pretty women, who had it all: looks, smarts, love, and security. She wanted in on that, too.
“Looking for a wedding gown already?” Alice chirped.
She walked into the room, wearing nothing but a pair of funny looking, grandma underpants, with the word Wednesday. It was Monday and the reality of that made Rene laugh out loud. Alice looked down, then laughed herself.
Her hair was still wet, dripping noiselessly onto the floorboards below her bare feet, creating tiny little puddles. She had that flawless entrance going for her, no matter where she was or what she was wearing. She could make the whole room focus on her, without lifting a finger to do it. It was just one of those things that made Alice, Alice.
“What are you talking about?” Rene lifted her gaze to meet Alice’s.
The wine glass in her hands was half full. The taste soothed her tired mind and lulled her heart into a promise of something better to come, something she knew she deserved. For now, that was only a glass of fine wine. Later on, something else might be added to it, if she was lucky.
“I noticed the way you were talking about him yesterday,” Alice teased, sitting down next to Rene, releasing a sigh that signaled this would be one of those conversations.
“I did not,” Rene defended herself a little more zealously than she intended to. “I talked normally.”
“That’s what you think,” Alice grinned. “Oh, Hyde… oh, honey… oh, right there!”
Alice playfully made erotic sounds, sighing and moaning, her lips parted in mock ecstasy and Rene saw no other way to make her stop than to smack her with one of the bigger sofa cushions.
“Ouch!” Alice laughed. “That hurt!”
“You deserved it,” Rene laughed as well.
“So, you’ll try to convince me that you don’t have the hots for your new boss?” Alice’s eyes gleamed as they always did when she knew she caught someone in a big, fat lie.
“He is a good-looking man, I won’t deny that,” Rene always felt best when she was speaking politely and making sure to uphold her manners. “But, our relationship is and will remain strictly professional.”
“Is that right, your honor?” Alice laughed again, making herself comfortable on the sofa. “Then, if he’s that good-looking and you don’t want him, maybe I could have him?”
“Well…” Rene started, but then bit her tongue. “Of course, be my guest.”
“No, no, no,” Alice kept on laughing, “you hesitated.”
“I was just considering the boy,” Rene was quick to reply.
“Sure you were.”
“He really is the sweetest boy you could imagine. I’m so sorry he has to go through this kind of hardship. Divorce is always the hardest on the kids.”
“Well, then it’s lucky he has you for his nanny,” Alice stopped teasing. This one came straight from the heart.
“Thank you,” Rene smiled, taking a sip of her wine.
“I’m just teasing, you know that,” Alice continued. “All I want for you is to find the man who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”
“That is easier said than done,” Rene sighed.
“I know,” Alice nodded, “but, I’m sure he’s out there, just waiting for you to find him.”
“You always make everything seem so easy,” Rene snorted.
“That’s because it is,” Alice informed her importantly. “We make it more difficult for ourselves, instead of just accepting the natural flow of things, and going along, instead of fighting it.”
“You’re an incorrigible hippie, you know that, right?” Rene laughed, and Alice joined in.
They spent the following hour in a relaxed atmosphere and then Rene wished Alice good night, retiring to her bedroom. She felt exhausted and yet, somehow, sleep wouldn’t come to her, no matter how hard she tried to relax and count sheep. The moment she would close her eyes, she saw Hyde. His smile burned an imprint deep inside her mind and she knew that she would never forget him. She would always recognize the sound of his voice, even after fifty years, even if she never saw him again.
Then, she would open her eyes and scold herself. The last thing she needed right now was to fall in love with her current employer. The mess that could create… but, the heart wouldn’t listen. The moment she would close her eyes, again and again, she would see the brightness of his smile, she would hear the melodious sound of his voice.
Chapter 4
It was about a month later, that Rene found herself in front of Hyde’s door, knocking at their usual, arranged time. Things had become routine by now and she managed to calm herself down every time she had to exchange a few pleasantries with Hyde.
She knew she felt something for him. Her heart didn’t allow her to neglect this realization even for one second, but she was reasonable enough to know that she could never act on this. So, every time she would talk to him, she would breathe deeply, neglecting the heavy beating of her fluttering heart, as she stood before him, gazing at him straight in the eyes, pretending that everything was alright.
As she waited in front of Hyde’s door, she knew that her heart would awaken once again when she saw him. It would flutter about, skip a beat, and go all crazy. She was prepared for that.
What she wasn’t prepared for was the fact that someone else opened the door.
“Hey there, you must be Rene,” a man addressed her casually, as if it was his house.
She swallowed heavily, feeling a sudden dryness of throat. She had never seen this man before and here he was, opening the door only Hyde should be opening. Was there a change of plans she wasn’t informed about? Who was this guy who pranced about as if he owned the place?
“I’m sorry and you are?” she asked, a little more defensively than she wanted to.
She was confused and she hated being confused. It made her feel weak. And right now, she felt unprepared, which made her feel angry.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I’m Jesse,” he grinned, offering her his hand.
She thought about it for a second and he noticed her hesitation.
“I promise I’m not a psycho or anything,” he kept on smiling, “I’m a friend of the family. Hyde should have informed you of this.”
“Of what?” she asked, forgetting that she still ha
dn’t accepted his hand, which stood hanging in the air between them, like a bridge she was supposed to cross, and yet, she was somehow reluctant to do it.
“He had to go to work early, because he’ll be flying to Chicago today, and that’s why he needed me to be here before you…”
But, Jesse wasn’t allowed to continue his thought, because Rene’s phone interrupted him. Without a word, she reached inside her purse and extracted her phone. It was Hyde.
“Yes?” she answered, still flushed with this feeling of not knowing exactly what was going on.