Double Blind_A Novel

by Iris Johansen

  “No. And extremely.” Jessie grimaced as she got to her feet. “But I regard it as a learning experience. I’m sticking with it. I keep telling her it’s those braille chess pieces.”

  “Excuses. Excuses,” Olivia said. “How did it go with the kids today, Kendra?”

  “Pretty good. No breakthroughs.” She glanced at Jessie. “Are you going to stick around for supper? Those sandwiches are delicious and I bought plenty.”

  “Nope. I have to get going. I need to tie up some loose ends before I start my next job.” She looked at her watch. “Time got away from me.”

  “Loose ends?”

  “Yeah, I have to get a couple shots at the health department.” She made a face. “Damn, I hate foreign assignments. With my luck I’ll end up with some weird exotic bug.”

  “You’ve changed your mind about going to Abu Dhabi to babysit your action hero?”

  She shrugged. “What the hell? I decided my action hero might actually need me.” She headed for the door. “See you later.”

  “Bye.” Kendra was taking the sandwiches out of the sack. “Do you want to make the salad, Olivia? You’re never satisfied with the way I do it.”

  “Because your kitchen skills are barely passable. I’ll do it.” Olivia smiled gently. “Because it will be a very small salad for a party of one. I’m kicking you out, Kendra. Go away.”

  “What?” Kendra whirled to face her

  “You heard me,” Olivia said. “You’re driving me crazy. I can stand only so much hovering. Look, I kind of understand. I know that you’re feeling all sorts of guilt feelings and that’s a little crazy, too. You risked your life to save me.”

  “Big deal. If you weren’t my friend, you wouldn’t have been a target. And I got really scared when I saw you lying on that stupid cot looking like some kind of effigy on a tomb.” She smiled. “You just have to put up with me until I get over it.”

  “No, I don’t,” Olivia said flatly. “I have to take care of myself. I can’t do that with you coddling me and ready to jump in if I show any sign of weakness.” She hesitated. “Because I do have weakness and I have a right to show it until I beat it.” She reached out and grasped Kendra’s hand. “And I will beat it. But I have to do it alone. You’re bad for me right now. I’ve never felt more vulnerable than when Derek had me penned in that room and took everything away from me that he thought would make my life worth living. You can imagine the panic.”

  “Yes, I can,” Kendra said unevenly. “It nearly killed me just knowing he was doing it.”

  “I know it did.” She paused. “And that’s why you won’t be able to take half measures about walking out that door and leaving me alone to work this out for myself. You’ve got to go cold turkey.”

  Kendra was gazing at her in bewilderment. “For heaven’s sake, you’re talking as if this is all about me.”

  “No, only half of it is about you.” Olivia smiled faintly. “Because we’re like two halves of a whole and we always have been. It’s perfectly natural that you would overreact a bit.”

  “Look, what you went through was a traumatic experience. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slowly for a little while.”

  “I have been taking it slowly. I’ve let you stay with me for the last six days. I’ve even let you arrange with Jessie to visit me when you had to be gone so I’d never be alone. I’ve been pampering myself. Now it’s time I got back to being who I am.” She shook her head. “I can tell you’re frowning and thinking of ways to talk me out of it. It’s not going to happen.”

  “Six days isn’t that long.”

  “You’re wrong, I’m beginning to get too comfortable.” Her hand tightened on Kendra’s. “Because my friend Kendra is here and I like that a lot. I’m closer to you than anyone else in the world and it’s too easy. I’m beginning to depend on you. You make me feel safe. Do you realize how dangerous that is?”

  “I want you to feel safe.”

  “And I want to feel that Derek hasn’t destroyed who I am. I want to be able to take everything he threw at me and still be myself. I have to be totally independent.” She leaned forward. “I got very confused about that when he had me in that damn cocoon. But do you know what I found out? That no matter what senses he took away from me, I was going to be okay, because the mind is a wonderful, splendid thing.” She grinned. “And I have a particularly good one. I just have to know that I can always rely on it when nasty things like this show up.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small case and flipped it open. “But I also have to be sure I never forget it.”

  Kendra was staring in shock at a set of ear plugs like the ones Derek had put on Olivia. “Where did you get those?”

  “Jessie. I told her I needed a pair. She didn’t even question, they just appeared the next day. Our Jessie is very clever.”

  “Yes, she is.” She moistened her lips. “But I’m not quite so clever. Why did you want them?”

  “So I’ll never be afraid of them.” She touched the nubs gently. “I used them after I went to bed last night. A little panic and then it was gone. I only wore them for a few hours and then I put them away. But I’ll use them every night until I’m so accustomed to them that they’re like old friends. I’ll lie there and think and dream and gradually all the fear will go away. Doesn’t that sound like a good plan?”

  Kendra had to clear her throat to ease the tightness. “It sounds like a very brave plan.”

  “Self-preservation.” Olivia said brusquely, “When this is over, I’ll be stronger than ever. Screw you, Derek.” Her voice softened. “But it will be easier for me if you’re not around to lean on. As I said, I have to be totally independent. So you’re going to hug me and then you’re going to get out of here. When I’ve become my usual Wonder Woman persona again, I’ll give you a call and you can come back.”

  “But I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  “Please. I’m not Little Orphan Annie. I’m never alone. I have friends. I have a career. They’re all fine. You’re the only one I have to kick out.”

  She wasn’t going to be able to talk her out of it, Kendra thought in disbelief. “I’m not the only one who has bad ideas. This one is lousy. I don’t want you to kick me out.”

  “Because you love me. That’s your hard luck. You shouldn’t have made a friend of me all those years ago at Woodward Academy.” She reached out and hugged Kendra. “Hey, it won’t be that long. Soon I’ll be so independent again that I won’t need you around at all. You’ll just be entertainment value. You know how superior I am.”

  “Yes, I do.” She hugged Olivia tightly and then forced herself to let her go. “Are you at least going to let Jessie come? She wouldn’t get in your way. You said that she didn’t even question you.”

  “I’m tempted, but she probably won’t be around for long. She has plans.”

  Kendra nodded. “Abu Dhabi.”

  “Maybe. Jessie doesn’t lie, but she’s dropped a hint or two in the last couple days. If you think about it, you’ll probably come up with the same answer I did. You would have probably done it already, if you hadn’t been concentrating on me.” She waved at the door. “Out.”

  Kendra hesitated.

  “Out,” Olivia said again.

  “For a little while.” Kendra sighed and then headed for the door. “But I’m going to call and text. You’re not going to get rid of me.”

  “Now that would be a nightmare worse than any Derek could concoct for me.” Olivia’s luminous smile lit her face. “I’m counting on it.”

  Kendra stood for a moment outside in the hall after the door closed behind her. She felt a little lost and bewildered as she turned away. She had been so intent on making certain Olivia was completely back to normal that it had not occurred to her that she might be one of the problems. Was it true? How could she know? Olivia was so intelligent and knew herself so well that it might very well be true. But it seemed nothing was as Kendra had thought it to be.

  Including Jessie?r />
  Those few cryptic sentences that Olivia had uttered before Kendra left had pointed in that direction.

  You would have noticed yourself if you hadn’t been concentrating on me.

  Well, it seemed she wasn’t concentrating on Olivia now, she thought wryly.

  Start thinking so she wouldn’t make any more dumb mistakes as she’d done with Olivia.

  Scripps Coastal Medical Center Hillcrest

  San Diego

  “What are you doing here?” Jessie asked warily as she saw Kendra straighten away from the building as she came out the front entrance. “Something wrong?”

  “You tell me,” Kendra said. “Did you get your shots?”

  “Yes and it hurt like hell.” Jessie’s gaze was still narrowed on Kendra’s face. “I’ve never taken shots well. My arm usually swells up like a watermelon.”

  “I’m surprised you don’t become accustomed to them. You’ve traveled all over the world, haven’t you?”

  “Yes,” Jessie said cautiously. Then she shook her head. “I’m blown, right? Okay, stop playing games. Shall we go to your car and talk? I don’t think you’re in the mood to hop on my bike.”

  Kendra waved at her Toyota parked down the street. “You’re right. After you.” She waited until they were settled in her car before she said, “You didn’t exactly lie to me, but you came close, didn’t you?”

  “Not extremely close. I hate lying.” She shrugged. “I was trying to walk a balanced line. But you can never please everyone and I thought you might be so busy with Olivia that I might get away with it.” She raised her brows. “She kicked you out?”

  “You saw it coming?” She made a face. “I didn’t. Did she say something to you?”

  “Not a word. I just read between the lines. She was ready to be on her own.” She paused. “It’s going to be inconvenient.”

  “You mean inconvenient for you. I imagine it will be. Where are you going, Jessie?”

  “Where do you think?”

  “Afghanistan?”

  She nodded. “First. But we might not stay there. It depends on what we find there and how he can manipulate the climate to get what he wants.”

  “He,” Kendra repeated. “Lynch.”

  “Who else?” Jessie said. “I told you I hated lying. He is my favorite action hero.” Her lips tightened. “He can get things done that nobody else can. And he’s in a mood to do it. He doesn’t like how well Brock is managing to cover their asses and get rid of evidence. They’re claiming that only a few of their employees were involved with Derek’s activities and they were making every attempt to weed them out and capture him. Between bribery and Senate influence, they’re beginning to cloud the issue.”

  Kendra shook her head. “They can’t get away with it.”

  “They might. Derek’s evidence against Brock never surfaced after his death. Which means that Blake or maybe someone else in the Brock stable might have discovered where it was hidden and retrieved it.” Jessie shrugged. “Lynch has a hunch that Vivianne Kerstine shipped most of the incriminating evidence we were looking for overseas to Afghanistan since she has so much influence there. That might include the Derek blackmail bonanza.” She paused. “Put that all together with the fact that Lynch is very pissed off about Brock’s part in what you and Olivia went through. He wants to bring them down.”

  Kendra tried to control her temper. “Yet he didn’t say a word to me. I’ve scarcely seen him in the last six days.”

  “He’s been busy.” She grimaced. “And he’s probably been avoiding you. I’d imagine he’s superb at lying, but he doesn’t want to lie to you.”

  “But he told you what he was going to do. He’s taking you with him.”

  “I went to him. I could see where he was headed and I asked him to let me go along. I told him how useful I’d be. I know the military over there and they know they can trust me.” She met Kendra’s eyes. “I need to do this. I owe it to my guys over there. Like I said, Lynch is the person people bring to the table when they want a regime change. It’s time the Brock regime goes down the tubes.”

  “I can understand how you feel, I’m just mad as hell at Lynch for doing this to me,” Kendra said jerkily. “When do you leave?”

  “Another two days.”

  “Lynch?”

  “Tonight. He borrowed the jet that his billionaire friend, Giancarlo, keeps at Montgomery Field and he’s going over early to make contact with the Justice Department bigwigs in Kabul.”

  “And not let me know until he was on his way?”

  “I don’t know.” She held up her hands. “That’s way above my pay grade.”

  “But I’m sure you could see where that was heading, too,” Kendra said. “But you’d leave it up to him because you’re now on the same team.”

  “As I said, he’s going to find it inconvenient. But that’s between the two of you. I’m out of it now. I’ve given you the entire scope and I didn’t try to dodge.” She opened the car door. “And you’re my friend so I won’t call Lynch and warn him you’re on the warpath. But you’re right, I’m on his team or anyone else who goes after Brock. You’re on your own, Kendra.”

  She was gone.

  Kendra sat there, her hands clenching the steering wheel. She was feeling a mixture of anger and frustration and sheer terror.

  Lynch.

  Afghanistan.

  Brock Limited

  The combination was deadly.

  And Jessie was right.

  Kendra was on her own.

  Montgomery Field

  Lynch was getting out of his rental car at the parking lot and locking it.

  “Maybe it’s a good thing that you don’t have to worry about taking care of that fancy Ferrari right now.” Kendra stepped out of the shadows. “You wouldn’t have wanted to leave it here.”

  He stiffened but didn’t turn around for an instant. “One can always make arrangements for a Ferrari, Kendra.”

  “When were you going to call and let me know you’d left? Jessie wasn’t sure.”

  “I was figuring on maybe tomorrow morning when I was over the Atlantic.” He turned around and smiled at her. “Because then you couldn’t do me physical damage and it would be a done deal. How angry are you?”

  “Angry enough.” She met his eyes. “And hurt and maybe a little humiliated.”

  His smile faded. “That won’t do at all.” He took her arm and pulled her across the tarmac to the plane. “I’ll take the anger. But the rest has to go. Come on board and have a drink with me and get it all out of your system.”

  “You make it sound simple.” She didn’t look at him as she climbed the steps and boarded the Cessna Citation. She dropped down on one of the white leather couches. “I don’t believe it’s simple at all, Lynch.”

  “Not simple.” He got her a glass of wine from the bar. “But not complicated enough to cause us any real problems. I told you we’d have to work things out.” He sat down opposite her. “I take it everything blew up and you began thinking instead of feeling.”

  She took a sip of wine. “Which you obviously didn’t want to happen. Heaven forbid, I think.”

  “I wanted whatever was good for you at this particular time,” he said softly. “Anything. But I do admit that I took advantage of the situation. I didn’t offer you any alternate solution.”

  “You were planning this from the time I told you I was going to move in with Olivia.”

  “Before that.” His lips tightened. “From the moment that I saw what that maniac and Brock’s people were doing to you and Olivia. I couldn’t allow them to get away with that, Kendra.”

  “So you sent me away to take care of my friend and started plotting and planning.”

  “You sent yourself off to be with Olivia. As I said, I just took advantage.”

  “But you would have plotted and planned if you’d had to do it.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” she said fiercely. “Why not just be honest with me?”


  “You would have worried, you had enough on your plate with Olivia near a breakdown.”

  “Olivia evidently handled it better than I did. But I guess you didn’t trust me not to fall apart after the way I behaved when I thought you’d been killed.” She crashed her wine glass down on the coffee table. “Well, I’m not that weak and I wouldn’t have fallen apart if I’d been given the chance to do something to keep it from happening. But you closed me out then, just like you’re closing me out now. Guilty?”

  “Guilty,” he said. “I admit I wanted to keep you safe. And it hurt me to see you hurting, so I just did what was easy for me. Does that take the hurt and humiliation away? If it doesn’t, then what will? I’ll do anything you say. Is that humble enough?”

  “No, it’s probably just another ploy or manipulation.” She got to her feet. “And you will do whatever I say. Because it’s my turn, Lynch.”

  “Interesting.” His eyes were narrowed on her face. “But I’m thinking that I’m not going to be particularly happy about this, am I?”

  “No. Because you’re not going to get all your own way, and that’s something that you’re not accustomed to.” She met his eyes. “Though you might have been trying to avoid it when you pulled this bit of chicanery. You didn’t even ask me what my attitude was toward Brock Limited and the possibility of all their sleazeballs slipping out from under the punishment they deserve. You just decided to go take care of it yourself.” She took a step toward him, her eyes glittering. “Well, that’s another thing that I’m angry about. Because you’re not going to leave me out of being there with you to take them down.”

  “No!” He got to his feet. “Not a good idea.”

  “A very good idea. I’m sure Jessie had to plead and wheedle and furnish her credentials before you agreed to take her. Well, I’m not going to do any of that business. You’re going to take me because I’m smart and I have abilities and I’ll do anything I have to do.” She paused. “And because we’re partners and we should work together. It doesn’t matter if you think I shouldn’t be anywhere near that country or what’s going on there. I’m going to be there with you. Have you got that, Lynch?”