My mood soured as we made our way down to the limo in front of our building. I didn’t respond. My relationship was not going to be treated like a business transaction. Planning our engagement like it was an acquisition did not suit me. We got into the sleek white stretch limo and I slid over to the far side as Harris kept talking to me. Basically, I was to look pretty, smile when appropriate, and be the doting soon-to-be fiancée. Blah. Blah. Blah.
“Ashlin, did you hear me?”
I glanced back toward Harris who was working on his phone. “No, sorry. I didn’t.”
Harris glanced up. He was gorgeous, but the beauty now was only external as the inside of him dissipated into nothingness. “When are you available next week to go ring shopping? We’ll work with my PR team to make a formal announcement. We need to maximize the exposure.”
Since he’d been voted one of the richest bachelors in some stupid magazine, the public relations campaigns to capitalize on his title were absurd.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose and prayed like hell for patience. “Harris, now is not the time to be discussing this. Let’s get through dinner. Then we need to talk.”
“What are you saying, Ashlin?” The disapproving tone from Harris did nothing to help the situation.
Looking back out the window, I responded, “I’m saying we will talk about everything after dinner.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that we need to find some time next week. I don’t understand why you’re being difficult on this. I figured you’d want to make it official.”
I didn’t respond as my blood boiled. This was not the life for me. There were some things money couldn’t buy, and sacrificing my happiness was not worth all the dollars in the world.
A few moments later, I could hear Harris’ fingers resume their fast typing as he worked. Why couldn’t the stolen moments like we had in the bedroom this evening be my reality? My heart physically ached, knowing what was coming later tonight.
Dinner had been boring, but I had done my duty and conversed when needed. It was late as we drove back to our place. As soon as we got home, I was going to lay it all out on the line like I should have months ago, instead of trying to be supportive as Harris found his footing in this new lifestyle he craved.
This was possibly the last time we would be together in a car. We were seated on opposite ends of the back bench of the limo. The lighting casted a faint glow on his face. Harris’ eyes were closed and his head was laid back. His face slowly relaxed with his phone held in one of his hands.
This would be hard tonight. I felt the internal struggle within me and I hated it. As we approached our building, my phone vibrated. Taking it from my purse, Unknown Number flashed across my screen.
I pushed Answer.
“Hello?”
“Ashlin Thomas?” It was a raspy voice that sounded corrupted by years of smoking.
I cleared my voice. “That is me. May I ask who this is?”
Harris stirred beside me and was now watching me. “Miss Thomas, I’m Officer Dreary. I hate doing this over the phone, but it says you live in Manhattan. Is that correct?”
“Yes, what is this about?”
He cleared his throat. “Leelyn Thomas had a heart attack tonight and was pronounced dead on arrival. She had pushed her Life Alert button, but the paramedics were unable to make it to her in time. She had you listed as the next of kin.”
My fingers dropped the phone as my world spun. I cradled my head in my hands. Breaths expelled from my body faster and faster. There wasn’t enough oxygen. Harris’ voice somewhat registered in all the cotton that had set up shop in my head. Aunt Leelyn is gone. Aunt Leelyn is gone. I’m alone. She was the only family I had left. Tears cascaded down my face as a wrecking ball smashed through my heart, obliterating anything in its path. Sobs erupted from my chest. Warm arms came around me.
“I overheard. I’m so sorry, Ashlin. We’ll get down to Savannah immediately. I’ve already sent a text to have the company plane ready to go as soon as we’re packed. I know how special Aunt Leelyn was to you. She was a wonderful woman.” Harris’ consoling words helped as I clung to him and gripped his suit shirt, soaking it with my sorrowful tears.
He is here for me. Harris is here for me. There is hope.
For now, I pushed away my earlier thoughts. I needed to focus on getting to Savannah. The storm that brewed between Harris and I could wait. My Aunt Leelyn was gone and there was only so much hurt my heart could take.
It was a beautiful fall day, which was ironic considering how desolate and sad I felt. My body and heart were exhausted as we drove to my Aunt Leelyn’s house from the funeral in the early afternoon. This would be the first time I would step foot into her historic home on Oglethorpe Street since she passed. Driving, we passed trees that had moss hanging from them as the home approached.
The trees swayed in the slight breeze. I focused on any and every small detail I could find to keep my mind from reliving the realization that the woman who had been like a mother to me was gone. I felt lost, like a ship without an anchor being tossed from wave to wave in a storm.
Hopefully being surrounded by the love I felt in her home would give me some peace as I came to terms with everything. Will I ever come to terms with the loss? I hadn’t with my dad or my mom, and I had a feeling there would be a bigger hole left within me with Aunt Leelyn’s passing.
For the last three days, I had been on autopilot as arrangements were made. Aunt Leelyn had requested to be cremated, but the service and all that entailed still had to be completed. Most of it had already been detailed out in the will, but confirming everything was still exhausting.
Harris had put us up in the Bohemian Hotel on the River Front. Needless to say, it was the nicest hotel in the area. I had wanted to stay at Aunt Leelyn’s house, but was too distraught to stand my ground and push for it.
Harris had been caring through everything, which had surprised me. At times, as he held me while I cried, I felt the us we used to be. My heart craved that connection on an atomic level. Harris still held me at arm’s length some, but at least it hadn’t been the majority of the time like normal. His actions still hurt and confused me on where my heart was at.
My emotions felt like they were being whiplashed about. The car pulled up to the three-story white brick home with its black shutters. I imagined my Aunt Leelyn walking out the door to greet us while I gazed toward the concrete steps framed by black wrought-iron railing. My Aunt Leelyn had been a historical researcher. This house had been in my family for generations. It was one of the few historic homes left in Savannah that hadn’t been turned into a business.
Aunt Leelyn was a firm believer in preserving the past. She always said, “Our historical threads are what intertwine and become the base of what we are.” She took our history seriously, and we had a massive family tree dating back over a couple hundred years to prove it.
I knew the stories of my ancestors from over the last hundred years. There were some missing gaps that we couldn’t find information on, but that never stopped Aunt Leelyn’s search. When I was a child, the tales of my past were my bedtime stories.
Aunt Leelyn had found something she couldn’t wait to show me. She wouldn’t tell me until I came back home. Now I wished I had hopped on the first available flight to come here. I loved listening to her tell me about what she had found.
Should have.
Would have.
Could have.
Harris spoke as he put away his phone, breaking me from my internal thoughts. “We have good memories here. I remember Aunt Leelyn could make a mean cup of coffee and tell stories like no other.”
I looked back and sadly said, “Yes, she could. I miss her.”
“I know you do, Ashlin. I hate this for you.” Harris’ gray suit-clad arm came up as his hand stroked my face.
My cheek instantly warmed. “Thanks for being here for me, Harris. I know you had to cancel your meetings. But it means the world that you pushed everything asi
de for me. I’ve missed this part of us.”
Harris withdrew his hand and tucked his phone away in his suit jacket pocket. “It’s okay. I’ll be back on schedule in two days. I have my first meeting this evening at dinner. Of course, I don’t expect you to come. Our bags are being packed and the plane will be ready to take off in an hour. I figured we could stop by here, make a plan of action to sort through all this stuff. I’ll make the phone calls and have it dealt with however you’d like. It’ll be good for us to have another home. It’ll be expected of me to have multiple places.”
For a second—a mere moment—I thought Harris was kidding. By his serious demeanor and no-nonsense look, I realized he was dead serious. I sat back in the seat, trying to process what he tried to do. Through our tender moments over the last few days, I had hoped being back down here would help Harris remember what we had. In the end, it hadn’t.
Deep down somewhere in his mind, he had to remember the old us, but he chose this new life. What Harris had said to me a few nights ago when he carried me to bed came to mind. He had no intentions of letting go of his newly acquired life. He craved the power. And if I let him, Harris was going to take me down into this wretched life and never let me escape. It would be a slow decay of my soul and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to escape.
This is my chance. This is my chance to break away and find who I am again.
I took a deep breath, willing my inner strength to the surface even though I felt brittle. Through all my patience, I had only enabled Harris and become a walking doormat.
No. More.
Realizing this was the end, a tear slipped out. “Harris, I’m not going back with you. I’m staying here for awhile to clear my head and start over. I keep thinking you’re going to snap out of this phase you’re in and become the man I used to love. But, I think you like who you’ve become and I can’t force you to change. I’m ending this before I begin to hate you. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ll go by and get my bags from the hotel and make arrangements to get my personal things from your place. I know your company will want this to end as quietly as possible. I won’t make waves, I’m not like that.”
Incredulously, he responded, “You’re trying to break up with me? At a funeral? No, Ashlin, it’s not going to happen. I’ll give you awhile to clear your head and some space to realize what a huge fucking mistake you’re making. We’re supposed to be getting engaged next week. The PR campaign is all set to roll. Don’t make a fool out of both of us because you’re upset.”
Anger started to build within me, temporarily replacing all the sadness. My hands fisted in my lap. “Harris, this has been coming for awhile. You’ve had to sense it. I can’t do this. No. I won’t do this anymore. When I get engaged to someone, it’s not going to be because it’s convenient for a business transaction that’s happening. It’s going to be because he can’t think of living another single moment without me. Harris, this is not me taking a breather. I had planned on doing this the night I got the call that Aunt Leelyn died, but I hoped through this tragic event we’d find our way again. We are not the couple we used to be. I’m convenient and you like how I look on your arm. Go find a mail-order bride, because that’s what you seem to want. Money matters to you. Happiness matters to me. I’ve tried to hold out hope for us, but I’m done. Please don’t turn this into something nasty. Let’s remember what we had, and at one time, it was good.”
Being angry felt good, like it cleaned out all the old cobwebs that had weaved their way into my life.
As I grabbed the door handle, Harris grabbed my arm. “I have a plane to catch. When you’ve put your head on straight, call me. For you to act like this, during the week of a huge business deal worth millions, is ridiculous. I know you’re upset and acting irrational.”
I opened the door and got out. “Good-bye, Harris.”
As the door closed, I heard Harris yell, “I meant what I said.”
Solemnly, I walked up to the door and got my keys out. I could still hear the vehicle’s engine idling. It wasn’t until I shut and locked the front door that I heard the limo take off.
My world had changed so much over the last few days. Now, I was completely alone. Part of me was devastated. Part of me was terrified. Part of me was liberated.
My eyes fluttered open as the light beamed into my room from the window across from my bed. I couldn’t believe I had broken up with Harris yesterday. In the limo, I had finally had enough. It had been a long time coming, but it was still a loss. I believed that everyone who came in and out of my life, regardless of what happened, helped mold my path and made me the person I was.
After the emotionally draining and stressful day yesterday, I had turned off my phone and gone straight to bed. With Harris and I no longer together, Amelia on her honeymoon, and Aunt Leelyn gone, there was no one who would need to get a hold of me. I had friends, but they would leave a message and be none the wiser.
I took a deep breath and tried to envelop myself in positive thoughts. My bedroom here was painted a pale yellow and had light-blue bedding. It was warm and inviting. I remembered Aunt Leelyn and me going to the store to pick out the fabric to match the walls we had painted in a spur-of-the-moment decision.
Releasing my breath, a creak sounded from down the hall. It was an old house that made noises on its own accord. Before, life seemed to emanate from the walls with Aunt Leelyn’s presence. Now, the house felt alone and empty. I was at a loss as to what I should do today, but knew I needed to keep myself busy before I let the sadness devour me.
My tear ducts were as dry as the Mohave Desert with all the crying I had done over the last few days. Putting my feet to the cold hardwood floor, I tiptoed to my closet to see if I still had any slippers in there. Thank goodness, Aunt Leelyn had kept all my old clothes. I’d have to make it down to the hotel Harris and I had stayed at or call someone to deliver my stuff. Hopefully they still had my bags and Harris hadn’t decided to be an ass. Finding my blue furry slippers, I traipsed downstairs.
Aunt Leelyn’s house was done in inviting colors, and it felt like home versus the cold industrial feel I had lived in for the last year. It was hard to think that yesterday morning, Harris and I had still been together. A small amount of time can change everything. The newspaper my aunt had been reading was still on the kitchen island. I walked up to the sink and saw a lonely plate there with a fork and a glass to the side. I closed my eyes as the reality continued to slam into me over and over again.
She’s gone.
Needing a morning dose of caffeine, I started the coffee machine and put a pod in it. Aunt Leelyn had thought it was blasphemy to make coffee like this and did it through a French Press instead. She could make a mean cup of coffee. I, however, could barely boil water. Adding a smidge of sugar, I leaned against the counter.
Monday I would need to contact the lawyer to see what all needed to be done in regards to the estate. I knew Aunt Leelyn had left everything to me from our talks.
A knock sounded. Setting the coffee cup down, I made my way to the big black wooden door. There was a man dressed in a black suit holding my bags from the hotel. The mirrored aviator glasses didn’t allow me to see what color of eyes he had with his black, slicked-back hair.
“Miss Thomas, Mr. Huntington asked that these be delivered to you. There’s a note inside your briefcase that he ask you read since you aren’t answering your phone.”
The man handed me my briefcase and I grabbed the handle of my red suitcase. “Thank you for bringing this. Have a great day.”
He nodded, then took off back down the steps. I’d read the note later. I didn’t want to deal with the excess stress. Harris would have to accept the fact that we were over. Would I take him back if he truly changed? I didn’t know the answer to that. I had loved him at one time, but love could be lost and never found again. I closed the door and turned back into the house, wondering what I was going to do today.
A few days had passed since the funeral. Slowly,
I made my way through the house, going through and organizing everything. I created a donation pile with some of the things the shelter could use.
It was hard getting rid of Aunt Leelyn’s things realizing she was truly gone, such as clothes and stuff, that had no sentimental value, but strangely therapeutic at the same time. As I made my way through the house, I felt like I dealt with the loss of both my aunt and the man who I thought had been the love of my life.
Amelia wasn’t due back from her honeymoon for another four days. We had e-mailed a few times. She still didn’t know about Aunt Leelyn or Harris. I would tell her when she got back. Knowing Amelia, she would have left her honeymoon early to make sure I was okay. There was no way I wanted that. Amelia needed this time with her new husband.
Today, I was tackling Aunt Leelyn’s desk. It had papers and books everywhere from the constant research she did. I put my coffee cup down on a coaster as I sat in the roller office chair. Swiveling my chair to the left, I noticed on the desk was a worn out brown leather journal that didn’t have anything else touching it. That in itself meant that this journal was important to Aunt Leelyn.
Upon further inspection, the name Sophia Marie Montgomery was in a faded etching on the front. The name automatically rang a bell. Sophia had been my great-great-great-grandmother. I was certain of it with how much Aunt Leelyn and I had talked about our family history. This was a part of the family history we didn’t have much information on.
Is this her journal? Had my aunt found Sophia’s journal?
This had to be what Aunt Leelyn had been waiting to show me. How had I forgotten this?
My insides shook with excitement knowing this was a piece of Sophia—a missing piece of our family history. I felt connected to my Aunt Leelyn in this moment and anticipation flowed through me. Delicately, I moved the journal in front of me and ran my hands over her name.
Predestined Hearts Page 2