Gently, I opened the cover and read the first journal entry.
I SAT ON the bench in Oglethorpe Square and sighed as I listened to mother and Mrs. Warner going on about something. I had learned to clear my mother’s words from my head long ago. If I smiled and nodded my head when prompted, that is all she needed. That, and money.
The Civil War had hit Daddy pretty hard and my mother still wasn’t over our plantation house being burnt to the ground. We now spent all of our time in our Savannah house until Daddy could rebuild a new country home. We normally didn’t come here unless it was during the social season, which was upon us now.
I had made my debut a year ago at the Christmas Cotillion, aged sixteen. What a grand evening it had been, although, it seemed Mother couldn’t marry me off fast enough.
My ears perked up when I heard my mother mentioning me. “If I could ever get Sophia betrothed, we might be able to move on from the horridness of the war.”
I rolled my eyes and began fussing with my black-and-white cotton stripped shirt. The matching jacket and hat were one of my favorite walking outfits, and my younger sister, Annie, said it made me look fancy. Her words, not mine.
“Was it not said that Devlin Covington fancied Sophia?” Mrs. Warner asked as I peeked over at her.
Mother’s smile made me feel ill. “Yes. He fancies Sophia, and the combination of families would be immensely popular.”
I let out a disgusted sigh. Why my family’s fortune and future rested on my shoulders—I had no knowledge. It wasn’t that I didn’t fancy Devlin Covington, I did. He was handsome, rich, and made me laugh. I had a massive infatuation with him a few years back, but I had grown out of it. Especially after sneaking up and seeing him kissing Betsy Manor in the back of the library, where they thought no one would see them. I had to admit though, watching Devlin place his hands on Betsy’s breasts had my lower abdomen pulling with desire and longing for that to be me.
Mrs. Warner let out a titter. “Yes, Emma, it would indeed make a fine match. Your Sophia and Mr. Covington.”
I wanted to run. Run away from all of this.
Mother and Mrs. Warner began talking about a Mr. and Mrs. Stowe. We had been invited to dinner at their house and it was not lost on me how my mother’s face flushed at the mention of Mr. Stowe’s name. Mother was going on about Mr. Stowe returning from England recently with his two sons.
Inhaling a deep breath, I was about to speak when a deep, throaty voice filled the air.
“Mrs. Montgomery, why, what a lovely surprise to see you on this fine afternoon.”
My mother quickly stood, as did Mrs. Warner and I. The older gentleman standing in front of me was nothing like my father. His features were strong, confident. The way his frock coat fit his shoulders, you could tell he was a man of labor. His eyes spoke of something I’d never seen before. My mother began to stumble upon her words. I looked quickly at her and noticed her cheeks flushed.
The moment I felt the energy change, I looked back to the younger gentleman standing in front of me. It was as if all the air had been taken from my lungs. His blue eyes danced with fire as he looked at me. My lips parted slightly while my eyes roamed freely over his body. I felt my face flush as my eyes landed on his soft lips. Placing my hand on my stomach, I attempted to control the feeling of butterflies dancing. My eyes moved up and I was caught in his stare.
His eyes matched the older gentleman’s eyes. Swallowing hard, I inhaled a deep, slow breath. The younger gentleman’s left corner of his mouth rose slightly and I let out a small gasp. I looked away, quickly, only to notice my mother behaving in the same manner. Pulling back slightly, I watched mother continue to stumble upon her words.
Turning back ever so slowly, I peeked up from under the wide brim of my hat to see he was still staring at me. His smile had widened. I stood taller and tilted my head as I gazed at him, pushing one of my long light-brown curls from my face. I wasn’t about to let him see how his smile had turned my very being into something young girls fantasize about as they read their fairytale love stories. Although, I was confident he knew what his stare did to me.
“Why, Mr. Stowe, we were honored to have received your invite for dinner tomorrow evening,” my mother said in a smooth, velvet voice. I turned to her with a look of shock. She had begged my father not to respond with a yes.
Mother held her hand out and Mr. Stowe brushed his lips against the back of her glove. Turning back to the younger gentleman, I bit down on my lower lip, causing his smile to fade briefly and his eyes to light up.
Mr. Stowe cleared his throat and said, “My apologies, I didn’t even see the beautiful young woman sitting by your side, Mrs. Montgomery. Is this your daughter?”
With a nervous chuckle, my mother looked at me. “Yes, this is my eldest daughter, Sophia.”
Smiling, I bowed to Mr. Stowe and said, “I am happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Stowe.”
Grinning, he responded, “Sophia, it is my pleasure. May I introduce you ladies to my youngest son, Daniel.”
My mother and Mrs. Warner both gave a small bow to Daniel. Daniel turned to me and I did the one thing I knew better of, I held out my hand to him. He looked at my extended hand and gave me a crooked grin. When he finally took my hand in his, we both drew in a breath. My mother cleared her throat and Daniel released my hand, but not before he bestowed upon me the most breathtaking smile I had ever seen. My heartbeat increased tenfold and the wicked thoughts that invaded my mind caused me to drop my eyes to the ground.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sophia,” Daniel said. My eyes snapped up and I was once again taken by him. His voice was deep, strong, and commanding. I smiled slightly and nodded my head. My mother and Mrs. Warner were speaking, but all I could focus on was Daniel. His dark-brown hair was messy and his cornflower-blue eyes stared into my simple brown ones. Mother took hold of my elbow and gave me a slight pull, as if she knew where my thoughts were taking me.
Daniel tilted his head while we continued to take each other in. My eyes landed directly on his chest and I could only imagine what it would feel like to be held in his arms.
Oh my. I looked away and began fanning myself as I pushed my wicked thoughts from my mind.
“We shall see you tomorrow evening,” Mr. Stowe said as he bowed and took a step back. My mother nodded. I watched as Daniel strolled alongside his father. I smiled and began to make arrangements in my mind on what to wear tomorrow for supper.
“He hasn’t changed a bit, Emma. Do you have regrets?” Mrs. Warner whispered.
Looking over to them, I asked, “What do you mean?”
My mother shook her head as she cleared some distant memory. “Of course not, Josephine. That was long ago and we mustn’t speak of it. It is disrespectful to Mr. Montgomery and Mrs. Stowe.” Turning to me, my mother smiled weakly.
“Did you know Mr. Stowe before Daddy?” I asked as my mother began walking.
She looked over her shoulder. “I did, yes.”
“What would you regret, Mother?”
She stopped walking and adjusted her hat before turning to me. “Sophia, there was a time when I thought I might be …” Stopping to look away, she cleared her throat. “Some things are not meant to be. Let’s continue home, shall we?”
I followed slightly behind Mother and Mrs. Warner as they continued their gossip.
“HOW DO I look, Annie?” I asked my ten-year-old sister, as I stared at my reflection. I glanced at my younger sister as she peered at me through the mirror. She favored my father so. Her golden-blonde hair fell above her shoulders in beautiful ringlets. Her turquoise eyes sparkled like stars in the night sky. I envied her looks. On more than one occasion, I made mention of my dissatisfaction of my hair and eye color. Father would chuckle and tell me I had brown eyes that any man would surely lose his senses in. I did adore my curls and was glad I inherited that trait, at least, from my father.
Smiling, she whispered, “Like a princess. A true lady.”
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br /> I couldn’t help but smile wider. A lady? If only my thoughts matched the description my sister had given me.
“Why must women wear all this?” Annie asked with a sigh. I let out a giggle. Looking up, I thought about the last hour. With the help of Lucy, our lady’s maid, I had dressed in my white stockings, white cotton drawers, followed by a white corset. Mother’s rule was four inches smaller than my natural shape. Lucy and I were friends, though; she only did three, to which I was forever thankful to her. Mother had bought me all new corsets so that the garters were attached to make dressing easier. Next came my camisole. It served as a shield between my skin and my gown, protecting it from perspiration and perfumes. Finally, after all of that, came the gown.
I gazed upon my orange gown. My mind drifted to my dearest friend, Nelly, as her words from earlier today flooded my thoughts as she helped pick out my attire for the evening. “Orange is a high arousal color.” The two-piece dress was breathtaking, I must admit. It was made of fine silk and lace. The bodice had a vest portion in the center front, which closed with large decorating buttons that I had let Annie pick out at the store. Spinning around, I smiled as I ran my hand over the beaded fringe and red velvet ribbon. Moving my hand slowly up, I traced the purple silk diamond-shaped neckline. Touching my fingertips to my exposed skin, I grinned. My sleeves were long in length and were cuffed at the ends with more purple satin to match the collar. My underskirt was flat in the front with three gores. Smoothing my hands over the dress, I hoped it would take Daniel’s breath away with one look.
“Why is your face flushed, Sophia?” Annie asked.
I placed my hands on my cheeks and tittered like a schoolgirl. Looking at my sister, I smiled and said, “I’m hot from all that dressing, Annie. Come now, you must get to your bedchamber before Papa sees you’re still up.”
Annie pouted. “I don’t see why I can’t go to dinner with you. I’m a big girl.” I placed my arm around her shoulders as we made our way out of my chambers and to hers.
“Yes, I know. Life is so unfair, young one. One day though, you will attend all sorts of dinners and dances. For now, you must visit them only in your dreams.”
Gazing around the room, I searched for Daniel. My father and mother were busy talking to Mr. and Mrs. Stowe along with two other couples, whom I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing. A young gentleman had been talking my ear off and I was in desperate need of fresh air.
Turning to him, I asked, “Will you please excuse me? I am in need of some fresh air.”
“Shall I join you?” he asked.
I quickly shook my head. “No. No, that will not be necessary. I have a slight headache and need some time alone.”
Nodding his head, he smiled and took a step back, giving me a quick bow. Returning the polite gesture, I began toward the kitchen. One look over my shoulder showed my mother watching me intently. I’m sure she was distressed at the idea of me wandering off and being late to sit down for dinner.
Somehow managing to find my way to the back gardens, I smiled and inhaled a deep breath. All I smelled were azaleas. I walked along the cobblestone pathway that intertwined among Magnolia trees and some of the most amazing flowers I’d ever seen. My mother would be green with envy were she to lay her eyes upon this colorful garden.
“It goes on forever,” I whispered.
“One can easily get lost back here.”
I stopped the moment I heard his voice. Closing my eyes, I placed my gloved hands on my stomach to calm the butterflies. Inhaling a deep breath through my nose, I slowly blew it out as I turned to face him.
Daniel. His eyes widened and he licked his lips. I raised the corner of my mouth and bowed slightly. Daniel walked up to me and smiled, causing my knees to shake. For a moment, it felt as if the earth was moving and I fought to stand upright.
He took a step closer to me as his eyes moved about my face. When they landed on my lips, I instinctively licked them. His eyes were ablaze with fire. I took a step back as he took another step forward. My breathing increased as I felt something I’d never felt before.
Desire.
Want.
Need.
“Good evening … um … Daniel.”
Daniel took another step toward me. “I prefer for you to call me, Danny.”
I could no longer take a step back, for I was pressed up against a stone wall as I watched Daniel moving closer to me. His eyes narrowed slightly.
“Did you enjoy your conversation with Mitchel?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.
Swallowing hard, I squeezed my legs together. The pulsing in the pit of my stomach was unlike anything I had ever experienced. My mouth was dry as cotton. “Who?” I asked.
A breeze swept between us, blowing my long, soft curls around. Daniel reached over and placed a curl between his fingers. He smiled as he gazed into my eyes. “I am glad to see he did not leave an impression on you.” He leaned closer. “This may be too forthcoming, but I’ve been watching you all evening. Your beauty takes my breath away, Sophia.”
My chest rose and fell with each breath I took. I closed my eyes and longed for more of him. Nelly had shared stories with me of stolen moments she had with Richard, her betrothed. The things she told me would cause a desire to blossom and I would place my hand in my drawers at night, touching myself to feel the way she described. Nothing ever happened. I would only end up more frustrated.
I placed my hands on Daniel’s chest. I could feel his heart beating. Did he desire me as much as I desired him?
Searching my face, Daniel whispered, “Tell me your desire, Sophia.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I looked into his blue eyes. The only word that would escape from my lips was the one thing I desired more than anything.
“Danny…”
When he closed his eyes, I began to panic. The way I was behaving. No man would ever respect this type of behavior. My eyes filled with tears. “You must surely think of me as…”
His eyes opened quickly and he placed his finger on my lips. “Never, Sophia. Never say such a thing. You’re smile was all I could see in my dreams last night. Your lips are all I have desired to taste since I awoke this morning. Your skin is all I have wanted to touch since you walked into the parlor this evening.”
Oh. My.
I smiled as I whispered, “Kiss me to fulfill your desire of taste. Touch me to ease your want … and mine.”
His smile widened as he placed his hands on the sides of my face. The moment he touched me, my body tingled from head to toe. Yes. This is the feeling Nelly spoke of. This is what I have longed for.
Danny slowly moved closer, never taking his eyes from my lips. When he stopped in front of me, he closed his eyes, as did I. The feel of his lips brushing gently across mine caused me to moan. I had kissed a boy before. I had kissed plenty of boys. I had never kissed a man who brought every single one of my senses to life.
I felt his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth. I slowly opened, and when our tongues met, I tasted him. It was a taste I would never be able to describe. Danny’s hand moved to the nape of my neck and he pulled my body to him. I felt his hard desire pressed into my stomach. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him closer to me. Our kiss turned passionate, needy, and full of raw desire.
I pulled back from his lips. “Touch me, please.”
His eyes searched mine as he smiled. “My darling…”
Reaching down, I lifted my gown as I reached between my legs and moaned when I felt the wetness. I wanted to push my fingers inside but Danny grabbed my hand and lifted it above my head as he pushed me against the stone wall. The raw brut behavior did something to me as I gasped. “Oh God,” I whispered. “More.”
Danny’s eyes widened and soon I was rewarded with the feel of his fingertips moving closer to my pulsing sex. I began to pant. No man had ever touched me there. No man had ever made my body throb with desire. This … this was the touch of a man who knew how to please a woman. “Danny, I have never—” I
panted between breaths.
His lips pressed against the skin on the side of my neck. “Sophia, promise me you will voice to me if I hurt you.”
I nodded my head frantically. “Yes. Yes, I will.”
Then he slipped his fingers through the opening of my drawers, made for taking care of one’s toilette needs, not her desire, causing me to let out a small whimper. He began to pull his fingers out when I yelled out, “No! Do not stop. Please, do not stop!”
He smiled as he buried his face in my neck and began working his fingers between my wet folds. I squeezed his hand that still had my hand pinned above my head. “Oh God, what’s happening?” I mumbled as I began to feel my body quiver.
“Sophia, I want to make you come undone.”
My body exploded as I began to call out his name. Danny pressed his lips to mine and captured my cries of pleasure. His fingers moved fast and deep, as he brought out something in me I had long desired. I could feel myself pulsing over and over against his fingers.
My legs began to feel weak as Danny pulled his fingers out. He let go of my hand and quickly reached to hold me up. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cold stone, attempting to breathe properly again. I had never been so brazen in my entire life. I had never felt so happy either. Opening my eyes, I saw Danny looking at me. His blue eyes searched my face. When I smiled, he smiled.
“Has your desire been pleased?” Danny asked, as the light in his eyes sparkled.
My face flushed as I whispered, “Very well pleased. I—”
“Sophia?”
My mother’s voice in the distance caused Danny to step back from me. I quickly adjusted my gown. Danny gave me a smile that utterly melted my heart. He leaned in and kissed my lips quickly. He turned to leave, but not before I reached for his arm. “My hair? Does my hair look okay?”
Placing his hand on the side of my face, Danny whispered, “You look beautiful. I’m completely bewitched by you.”
Predestined Hearts Page 3